MLIAM Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Fox Spirit – No, I’ll Only Be Deceived By Men

Chapter 1: Fox Spirit – No, I’ll Only Be Deceived By Men

Tianyuan 20th year, the Da Liang border became peaceful, and the aging Emperor Zhao Wu announced a national celebration to welcome the Tiger Courage Iron Cavalry’s triumphant return to the Capital City, to reward them for their merits.

Autumn wind carries the fragrance of osmanthus, a long army of ten thousand *lǐ*.

Before the victory celebration even began, Flying Dragon Junior General Yu Shuli had only been back in the Capital City for five days, and he had already turned the city upside down.

The reason was simple: upon his return, dozens of brothels’ ladies lined the streets to welcome him, inviting him inside for free.

Yu Shuli was truly unreserved, taking advantage of every opportunity. He went into each one and stayed for a full day and night.

Five days passed, and he hadn’t even had time to go home.

The General’s Residence lost all face, and sent the butler to invite him back. But the half-centenarian butler was also dragged into the room.

The old general’s face turned green with anger, and he was about to personally go to the brothel to drag his son back, but the General’s wife slapped him hard. “Old thing, you’re thinking too highly of yourself!”

“Madam, listen to my explanation! I absolutely have no ulterior motives!”

In the end, the General’s wife personally went out and finally dragged her son home, bringing back two handsome pageboys as well…

Old General:?

Yu Shuli suffered two blows from his old man’s resentful, underperforming family law, and the next day he happily went out again.

Inside The Imperial Palace.

“Xianqing, what do you say, what does it mean that Yu Ji’an has been lingering in places of entertainment since returning to the Capital City?” Emperor Zhao Wu, sitting on the dragon throne, had sunken eyes, and a weathered face with crisscrossing ravines, like a steep mountain range, steady and majestic.

The youth below wore a high official’s redundant clothing, looking somewhat delicate, but he stood tall and had an extraordinary appearance.

He slightly raised his eyes, cupping his hands and said, “This subject dares to guess that Junior General Yu probably indirectly learned of Your Imperial will, so he is resisting the marriage proposal in this way.”

As he spoke, the tassel on his outer garment gently swayed, causing the old emperor’s unwavering heart to waver slightly.

“Is my niece so unappealing to him?!” Emperor Zhao Wu coughed twice.

The youth below panicked and knelt down: “Please, Your Majesty, take care of your health.”

“Enough! I’m not going to die yet!” The old emperor waved his hand, “You need to change your habit of kneeling everywhere! If your father saw it, he would be complaining to me in his dreams again.”

“This subject is fine.” The youth slowly stood up, a faint smile appearing on his handsome face: “How would my father dare to complain to Your Majesty? What happened that year was my own idea. I am satisfied to be able to save the crown prince.”

“I understand your thoughts. I will not mistreat the Wei family.” Emperor Zhao Wu frowned: “Alright, you may go down first. I will carefully consider the matter of Yu Ji’an again. Have you taken your medicine today? Go see your aunt and then go back to take your medicine. Also, don’t be so stiff in front of me. I’ve told you, just be casual.”

“This subject understands, this subject takes his leave.”

“Xianqing.” Emperor Zhao Wu suddenly stopped him.

“This subject is here.” Wei Yan turned his head, half of his face hidden in the sunlight. The emperor looked at his beautiful, almost ethereal face, and was momentarily in a daze.

“Your aunt in the palace has always been worried about you, concerned about whether you are well.”

“This subject understands, this subject, Wei Yan, will definitely work hard to put my aunt and Your Majesty at ease.”

The sunlight gradually disappeared, and the setting sun fell to the west.

“Ancestors! Please don’t party all night again and not come home!” The honest old butler, his face flushed, didn’t dare to raise his head amidst a group of beautiful ladies.

“Old Zhang… The people regard food as their heaven, you can’t stop me from eating…”

“You can eat! Why come to such a place of entertainment to eat? There are so many cooks at home!” Squeezed between women, the butler, Zhang Kuan, was sweating buckets.

In the past few days, the young master’s fame in the brothels had greatly increased, and even he, with his advanced age, had inexplicably become a hit in Shangjing.

They said he was old but vigorous, three times in one night.

Bah! To hell with old but vigorous!

He delivered the urine basin to the young master three times in one night. In order to guard the young master’s innocence, he guarded against those brothel women like he was guarding against thieves. It was like one man guarding the pass, ten thousand cannot pass, and he didn’t even get a good night’s sleep.

Only the young master… could sleep as if unaware.

Seeing Yu Shuli still eating on his own, the old butler coughed softly in a hurry: “Young master!”

“The madam just said… hic… if I eat a hundred taels’ worth, she’ll give me a discount of twenty taels.” Yu Shuli swayed and muttered, “If only weight could be like that… reduce twenty *jīn* for every hundred *jīn*… hic… all the muscles I trained in the Northwest are… hic… wasted… hic… I won’t get as fat as my dad, will I?”

“It’s not bad to be like the old general, being able to eat is a blessing. If you really lose twenty *jīn* for every hundred *jīn*, that would be terrible?!” The old butler was sweating profusely: “Young master is drunk! Come home with me quickly! We have everything at home…”

Yu Shuli put down the chicken leg bone he had eaten, burped, blinked his beautiful almond eyes, and said aggrievedly, “Old Zhang, have you heard of an all spicy banquet? When I was in the Northwest, Dong Siwen treated me to one, crispy fried lamb leg with red peppers, it was so fragrant.”

Old Butler: “Never eaten it…”

“Then have you eaten spicy roasted piglet?”

“No…”

“Why haven’t you eaten anything…” Yu Shuli complained: “You haven’t eaten it in twenty years at home, the cooks at home definitely can’t make it.”

The old butler was sweating: “They can make it… they can make it, this old servant will have him learn it when we get back…”

“But the sister just said, they have it here!” Yu Shuli’s face, flushed with alcohol, showed a silly smile: “I can eat it right away!”

The old butler’s heart tightened. He was watching so closely! Where did another sister pop up for Yu Shuli!

He almost forced himself to ask: “Which… which sister?”

“You don’t even know this?” Yu Shuli glanced at him with disdain, then pointed for him to see: “Look, that one.”

The old butler followed his line of sight and saw the old brothel owner, over fifty years old and still charming.

!

“Bah! She’s already this old! Still trying to get your attention, young master?!” The old butler looked at Yu Shuli, both angry and anxious: “Young master! The world is treacherous! Be careful of being deceived by women!”

Yu Shuli burped, then seriously raised his fingers and swore: “No, no, I’ll only be deceived by men.”

“Young master!!!” The old butler’s gaze towards Yu Shuli became increasingly strange. With his old bones, he tried his best to support his young master and take him outside.

Yu Shuli hugged the table tightly, his feet hooked on the edge of the table, refusing to leave.

How could the old butler have imagined that the young general, who was a hero on the battlefield, would be such a rascal and clingy person after drinking alcohol?

He was at his wit’s end, and coaxed him again: “If you come back with this old servant, this old servant will immediately arrange an all spicy banquet for you! Just like the ones you ate in the Northwest!”

“Uncle Zhang, are you serious?” Yu Shuli put down the chicken leg he had just taken a bite of, and asked carefully, “Do you have that kind of super perverted spicy?”

“Yes… yes… we have invincible ultimate perverted spicy.” The honest butler, with a strained face, forced a smile, and was finally forced to talk nonsense.

…

When Yu Shuli finally stood up staggeringly, a girl in the room on the side suddenly screamed: “Ah! There’s a mouse!!”

“There’s a mouse?!” The boy, whose steps were originally chaotic, perked up and immediately turned his steps towards the side room.

“Young master! What does this have to do with you?!” The old butler’s head ached like it was splitting open.

The boy stopped, and the old butler’s eyes changed from despair to joy.

“I’ll get a steamed bun.” He turned his head, grabbed two steamed buns from the table, smiled, handed one over, and looked at the old butler: “Don’t be greedy, you’ve been staring at me for so long, I’m generous, I’ll give you one.”

Old Butler: He’s not greedy!

Yu Shuli, who was politely rejected, was not disappointed. Staggering, he still wanted to break into the room to catch the mouse.

The old butler and the brothel owner knew his identity and didn’t dare to stop him, so they let him break into the room.

There was no business going on in the room, but the girl was still somewhat disheveled. The man on the bed was sleeping like a dead pig, and even if he heard the scream, he didn’t wake up.

Seeing someone come in, the girl pulled a silk scarf to cover her shoulders, and then said aggrievedly, “The mouse was just here! It disappeared all of a sudden.”

Yu Shuli didn’t even look at the girl, but instead took out a small bottle from his arms, broke open the steamed bun, trembled his hands, poured some medicinal powder into it, and smiled silly at the brothel girl: “Don’t be afraid… I’ll help you… poison the mouse…”

While Yu Shuli was enthusiastically poisoning the mouse with others, the entrance of Spring Breeze Pavillion suddenly became lively.

“Make way… make way, The Censorate is investigating a case…”

The doors of Spring Breeze Pavillion were forcibly opened one by one, until they reached the room where Yu Shuli was.

The brothel owner didn’t dare to offend Wei Yan, the favorite of the emperor, so she could only grit her teeth and offend Yu Shuli to open the door.

Wei Yan frowned and stepped into the room, immediately seeing the handsome figure.

He commanded his subordinates to take down the man who was sleeping like a dead pig. After confirming that it was him, Wei Yan slowly looked at Yu Shuli.

“Junior General Yu, why are you here?” The man’s eyes were deep, and his cold face did not show a trace of a smile.

The old butler stamped his foot and went up to him: “This old servant pays his respects to the Prime Minister…”

He explained anxiously and Panic: “The junior general just accidentally entered this room and has nothing to do with this person!”

“This official knows.”

Wei Yan recognized the old butler and didn’t deliberately make things difficult for him, but he glanced lightly at the swaying, wandering drunkard who didn’t even come over to greet him, his tone gloomy: “Junior General Yu looks high-spirited, but I didn’t expect him to patronize prostitutes as well.”

“No, no, no…” Just in time for The Censorate to investigate a case, if the name of patronizing prostitutes was attached, that would be terrible.

The old butler was a clear-headed person who knew what was going on. He had long heard that His Majesty intended to find a marriage partner for the junior general. If he was exposed for patronizing prostitutes at this time, what future would the junior general have?

He quickly denied and explained: “He didn’t patronize prostitutes, he didn’t patronize prostitutes!”

Wei Yan raised his eyebrows, seemingly signaling him to continue speaking.

The old butler glanced at his own disappointing junior general, who was still burying his head in the corner to poison the mouse, and gritted his teeth: “The junior general came to eat.”

The two clerks of The Censorate who followed Wei Yan were relatives from Wei Yan’s mother’s side, Wu Peng of the Wu family and Liu Yunhui of the Liu family. Their families were ordinary, but they relied on Wei Yan’s mother, Wu Ronghuan, to follow Wei Yan, and now they were considered to have mixed up a job.

The two knew that Wei Yan and Yu Shuli had always been at odds, so they had no respect for Yu Shuli, let alone a butler. At this time, they sneered: “Old man, do you think you’re fooling a three-year-old?”

“He really came to eat!” The old butler stamped his foot again, “The junior general went to the border since he was a child, how would he know these romantic affairs?”

“Where can’t you eat well? Why come to a brothel to eat?”

“The junior general is used to heavy flavors and can’t get used to the dishes in the Capital City. The restaurants don’t serve him alone, and after thinking about it, he felt that the service attitude of the brothels was better.” The butler explained sweating.

Although he also felt that it was outrageous, the fact was really like this.

The words of the old butler, Zhang Kuan, not to mention Wu Peng and Liu Yunhui not believing it, even Wei Yan’s guards didn’t believe it, and laughed in a group.

These people looked like they were wearing thick armor, but in reality, they were just pretending in a peaceful and prosperous world.

They were all born as young masters in the Capital City. Although their families were high and low, they all looked down on this junior general from the Northwest who only knew how to fight and looked crude.

The difference between the noble sons in the Capital City and the marginal roughnecks was probably an open secret.

The old butler carefully raised his eyes to peek at Wei Yan, but saw that this master, who was usually the most difficult to provoke, pursed his lips, as if he believed it?

“Alright, go back and investigate the case.” Wei Yan turned his head and opened his mouth in a flat tone.

He looked at Yu Shuli in the corner again and left the room.

Who knew that there would be a loud “bang” behind him, the sound of a huge body colliding, followed by the old butler’s “Ouch… Ouch…” screams.

Wei Yan frowned and turned his head again.

What came into view was a staggering, clumsy figure, pushing aside the old butler and running towards him.

Yu Shuli was naturally not short, and the two were actually about the same height. But Wei Yan could tell from these few steps that he was like a little bird leaning on someone.

“Brother.” The boy in front of him was actually not at all crude, on the contrary, he was very beautiful, not only with red lips and white teeth, but also with bright eyes, like a little fairy who came down from a painting.

He held out a broken steamed bun with both hands and handed it to Wei Yan: “Do you want to eat a steamed bun? It’s so delicious!”

Wei Yan’s Adam’s apple moved, but he didn’t react.

“Get lost! Aren’t you mortal enemies?! What are you doing here trying to curry favor with our Prime Minister?” Wu Peng and Liu Yunhui beside Wei Yan instantly became hostile.

Yu Shuli pouted, feeling the hostility, so he was about to take back the steamed bun.

Wei Yan carefully looked at him for a few times, confirming that Yu Shuli was really drunk.

So drunk that he forgot that the person he was calling brother had once been cursed by him as a “beast.”

Wei Yan casually took the steamed bun, didn’t even look at it, wrapped it in a handkerchief, and threw it into the hands of his guard, Cang Xu.

Cang Xu peeked at Wei Yan’s eyes and silently put away the steamed bun.

“Cousin, why don’t you throw away this dirty steamed bun? Is it too stingy to give it to your subordinates?” Wu Peng said.

Wei Yan looked over lightly: “Do you want to eat it?”

“No, no, no…” Wu Peng showed a disgusted expression, “I don’t want to, but I’m advising you to be kind to your subordinates… you’re always so cold…” He was still muttering, but Wei Yan was no longer looking at him.

He didn’t take this younger brother seriously at all.

Wu Peng bit his teeth, the color in his eyes deepened, but he was poked twice on the shoulder by Liu Yunhui, and looked at Cang Xu with a wooden expression, so he could only close his mouth sensibly.

Forget it, if his own subordinates don’t care, why should he care? Is he being annoying?

Wei Yan took two steps, thought of something, and turned his head to Yu Shuli and said, “It’s getting late, Junior General should go home.”

Yu Shuli “hehe” smiled and leaned over shamelessly: “Brother, why don’t you take me home.”

Knowing the grievances between the two and witnessing all of this, the old butler only felt his toes digging into the ground: God, can you let me die first!!!

Calling the brothel owner sister was already shocking enough, but what he didn’t expect was that something even more shocking was behind him.

He even dared to call Wei Yan brother!!!

And Wei Yan’s followers were even more stunned.

What the hell? What are you doing, Yu Shuli?!!

Wei Yan tried to shake off Yu Shuli’s hand, but Yu Shuli was, after all, a martial artist, and his strength was too great, so he couldn’t shake it off at all.

Everyone scrambled to come forward to break them apart, but Wei Yan stopped them: “Can you touch me at will?!” He even used his official position to suppress people, which was enough to show how angry he was.

The old butler, Zhang Kuan, also said anxiously: “Oh, don’t hurt my young master, the old general will go to your residence to beat you!”

The Prime Minister could not be touched, and the old general had a bad temper and was not easy to provoke.

In the end, no one dared to move.

So, the Prime Minister, with a cold face and looking very delicate, walked towards the General’s Residence with a drunkard on his shoulder.

A row of followers wandered behind him like ghosts.

“Bah! Fox spirit!” Wei Yan’s follower complained about Yu Shuli.

“Bah! Fox spirit!” The old butler complained about Wei Yan in his heart.

The two had always been tit-for-tat whenever they met, and today they were able to break the ice a little, because Yu Shuli was drunk.

Outrageous, simply outrageous.

The old butler couldn’t figure it out, and still asked, “Does your Prime Minister have no dignity?” The junior general acted cute, and he rushed to take him home.

He even let him climb on his back.

Who doesn’t know that the Prime Minister is a sick man? In the past, even His Majesty didn’t dare to touch him, but when it came to Yu Shuli, he directly climbed on his body…

Wu Peng and Liu Yunhui “tsk” as an answer.

After Wei Yan finally escaped in the second half of the night, he was scrambled to send out the door by the old general and his wife, who were apologizing and thanking him.

Wei Yan gave a light salute and said goodbye, and after returning to the residence, he turned and stretched out his hand to Cang Xu.

The guard Cang Xu looked blank.

“Where’s my steamed bun?” Wei Yan rarely showed an impatient expression to his subordinates.

Cang Xu widened his eyes and handed over the steamed bun with crumbs on it.

Cang Xu felt that he knew an incredible secret.

The next day, a shocking case broke out in the Capital City.

The Prime Minister was poisoned.