Little Meteor Chapter 30
byChapter 30 “Yes, I am jealous.”
When Jiang Chengxuan came out after washing the dishes, Shen Mu was already asleep, leaning against the sofa. Professor Jiang had the TV volume turned very low, and seeing Jiang Chengxuan emerge, he put a finger to his lips and shushed him.
Shen Mu always had the habit of taking a nap, and he hadn’t slept many hours last night. He had woken up early this morning, and his mind had been tense when he arrived. Now that he was relaxed, the sound of the television became the perfect lullaby. As he watched, his eyelids began to droop. At first, he could still discuss the latest news with Professor Jiang, but then he went silent.
“Take Xiao Mu to your room to sleep. He might catch a cold sleeping here.”
Jiang Chengxuan nodded. Professor Jiang had initially thought of waking Shen Mu up to go to the room, but Jiang Chengxuan couldn’t bear to disturb him. He simply slipped one arm under Shen Mu’s knees and the other carefully supported his back, lifting him up. Professor Jiang was old and had seen a lot in life, but he found this scene genuinely awkward. Feeling out of place sitting there, he turned his head and pretended to focus intently on the TV screen.
Jiang Chengxuan, however, was completely natural. Holding Shen Mu, he walked toward his room, not forgetting to lower his voice: “Dad, you should rest for a while too.”
Professor Jiang cleared his throat: “Mm… alright.”
Shen Mu was truly in a deep sleep. When Jiang Chengxuan placed him on the bed, he didn’t even stir. Jiang Chengxuan tucked him in and sat by the bedside for a while.
Jiang Chengxuan’s mother had already gone to sleep. Professor Jiang remained seated on the sofa in the same posture as before. The TV was off, and he seemed lost in thought. Jiang Chengxuan sat down beside him. Professor Jiang casually asked, “Is he asleep?”
Jiang Chengxuan smiled: “Yes, he’ll probably sleep all afternoon.”
Professor Jiang nodded, tapping his fingers on his knee: “Xiao Xuan, can you tell Dad what you like about him?”
Jiang Chengxuan didn’t answer immediately. Professor Jiang patted his shoulder: “Don’t misunderstand. I have no issues with Xiao Mu. I just want to hear your thoughts. Your mother told me not to ask, saying you should decide for yourself, but I still want to ask. I’m worried you might be choosing him just to put our minds at ease, thinking he’s suitable and a good person to settle down with. While that thought isn’t wrong, it’s somewhat irresponsible to yourself and also to Xiao Mu.”
Jiang Chengxuan smiled at his father: “I thought you would say that as long as he’s a good person to settle down with, you wouldn’t have any other requirements.”
Professor Jiang frowned: “Don’t think of your dad as so old-fashioned. While settling down is important, how painful would life be if it was only sustained by those three words without emotional support?”
“I know,” Jiang Chengxuan draped his arm over Professor Jiang’s shoulder. “You two are the most open-minded parents.”
“Cut that out,” Professor Jiang asked him seriously again. “What do you like about Xiao Mu?”
Jiang Chengxuan thought for a moment before speaking: “We were college classmates, but I hadn’t figured things out back then. I only realized it after he left, but it was too late. I never expected to run into him again. Since I have, I don’t want to miss the chance this time. I can be certain that if I miss him, I won’t meet a second person who makes my heart race like this. If you ask me what exactly I like about him, I truly can’t pinpoint one thing. There are too many things; I like everything about him.”
Professor Jiang had initially wanted to ask if Jiang Chengxuan was perhaps feeling a little regretful because they hadn’t gotten together back then, but when he heard him say, “If I miss him, I won’t find a second person who makes my heart race like this,” he decided not to press further. This was clearly a commitment.
Professor Jiang sighed: “Alright, I understand. Then you decide for yourself. I can’t manage the affairs of you young people.”
Professor Jiang stretched, saying he was going to take a quick nap too. Jiang Chengxuan waited until his father went inside before returning to his room. Shen Mu was sleeping soundly on his side. He had heard that people who sleep like that often lack a sense of security. Jiang Chengxuan lay down beside Shen Mu. Perhaps sensing the movement nearby, Shen Mu rolled over to face him. Jiang Chengxuan gently pulled him into his arms and closed his eyes to sleep.
They slept straight until evening. If Jiang Chengxuan’s phone hadn’t rung, they probably would have slept until morning. Shen Mu was a little groggy when he woke up, thinking he was still at Jiang Chengxuan’s place. He lay there for three minutes before remembering this was Jiang Chengxuan’s parents’ house. He bolted upright: “Oh my god.”
Jiang Chengxuan had already finished his call. He tossed his phone aside and lay back down, trying to continue sleeping. Shen Mu patted his leg, rushing to get out of bed: “Get up quickly, this is outrageous.”
Jiang Chengxuan found his panic amusing: “My parents aren’t home right now. They went out to dinner with friends. They told us to just find something to eat ourselves.”
Shen Mu finally relaxed and flopped back onto the bed: “Why didn’t you say so earlier?”
“I thought you looked cute being so flustered,” Jiang Chengxuan kissed him on the cheek. “Let’s go out to eat. I’m too lazy to cook.”
Shen Mu nodded: “That works.”
The two quickly washed up and headed out. Jiang Chengxuan drove. Shen Mu assumed they were just looking for a nearby restaurant until he saw the familiar school gate and realized where they were.
Shen Mu looked slightly stunned. Jiang Chengxuan found a parking spot and asked him, “Do you still remember this place?”
How could he forget?
Shen Mu softly asked, “What made you think of coming here?”
Jiang Chengxuan smiled: “I really miss the taste of the food in the cafeteria here.”
They walked side by side down the tree-lined path. The autumn wind carried a chill, rustling the leaves. Students were still playing basketball on the court. The aroma of cafeteria food drifted through the air, mixed with a hint of osmanthus.
The cafeteria had been renovated and was much brighter than before, but the layout hadn’t changed. It was dinner time, and the place was crowded. They stood at the end of the line and waited for a long time before reaching the counter.
The food still tasted the same as before, but Shen Mu hadn’t said much since they entered. After dinner, Jiang Chengxuan took his hand, and they walked around the track. They chatted intermittently.
“During my senior year, my dad called me and told me to come home and take the civil service exam, saying it was easiest for fresh graduates,” Shen Mu kicked a small pebble with his foot. “My parents didn’t understand college majors. They only knew that the purpose of college was to find a good job after graduation. At the time, they wanted me to choose majors like law or accounting. I actually always wanted to work in writing. I considered taking the arts track in high school, but my parents thought art students were disreputable. In their eyes, studying hard was the only way. Later, I looked up information online and chose Chinese Language and Literature, thinking I might have a chance to do what I wanted later. I told my parents that this major was suitable for civil service exams and public institution jobs—a ‘golden rice bowl.’ They were quite satisfied then and didn’t stop me.”
“In my senior year, I chose to pursue a master’s degree and applied for the exchange student program abroad, also to escape home,” Shen Mu looked up at him and smiled faintly. “My mind was a mess back then. I hadn’t even figured out my own future, let alone romance. It wasn’t that I deliberately cut contact with you; I cut contact with everyone. I felt like everyone else was moving forward, and only I was stuck in place. Maybe I really do have a strange personality.”
“No,” Jiang Chengxuan put his arm around his shoulder. “You are the best.”
Shen Mu smiled: “Actually, I inquired about you later. I was happy to know you went to a great hospital and became an excellent doctor.”
Jiang Chengxuan lowered his head and kissed him. Shen Mu cooperated fully, tilting his head back, their lips intertwining. Jiang Chengxuan didn’t release him until Shen Mu was breathless. He pecked him lightly on the lips: “But I wasn’t happy. You weren’t there during my most important moments.”
Shen Mu chuckled: “You didn’t like me then. My absence probably didn’t affect you much.”
Jiang Chengxuan held his hand and continued walking: “I really want to travel back in time and slap myself twice. Why didn’t I figure things out then? Otherwise…”
He stopped there, but Shen Mu’s curiosity was piqued. He scratched Jiang Chengxuan’s palm and pressed, “Otherwise what?”
Jiang Chengxuan smiled very gently: “I was going to say, otherwise, I wouldn’t have let you leave no matter what, and we wouldn’t have missed so much time. But then I felt that wasn’t right. I had no right to make you stay for me. No matter how much I regretted it then, I didn’t chase after you. A delayed affection, no matter how solemnly it’s expressed, will always seem light and insignificant.”
Shen Mu smiled and shook his head: “I did blame you back then. Everyone says you can’t hide it when you like someone, right? I thought, I was so obvious, you should have understood even without a confession. You were just pretending to be clueless. But now, I’m quite glad you didn’t understand. The me back then couldn’t give you any promises. It’s better that we never started.”
He paused, then added: “Even now, I can’t give you any promises, Jiang Chengxuan. In the future…”
“Don’t talk about the future,” Jiang Chengxuan pinched his cheek. “You don’t need to feel any pressure. Whatever choice you make, I will respect it. Being with you is a choice I made by following my heart. I am willing and able to bear all the consequences.”
Shen Mu kissed him on the forehead and laughed: “You’re a love-struck fool.”
Jiang Chengxuan’s tone was somewhat shameless: “Yes, I think being a love-struck fool is great.”
They walked another lap, and their food had mostly settled. When Jiang Chengxuan drove the car out, Shen Mu was waiting for him by the roadside. As Shen Mu got in, Jiang Chengxuan glanced over and saw that Shen Mu’s WeChat interface was still open. It was Xu Hansheng.
On the way back, Xu Hansheng sent another message. Shen Mu smiled slightly as he replied. Jiang Chengxuan asked casually, “Who are you chatting with?”
“Oh, Xu Hansheng,” Shen Mu showed him the chat history directly. “He’s sending me photos from college. We were in the same club back then. I don’t even remember taking so many pictures.”
Jiang Chengxuan tapped his fingers on the steering wheel twice: “He probably has feelings for you.”
“Hmm… huh?”
Shen Mu didn’t react immediately, asking blankly, “No way?”
Jiang Chengxuan didn’t say anything. After a moment, Shen Mu realized something and his eyes curved into a smile: “Jiang Chengxuan, are you jealous?”
Jiang Chengxuan pulled over and parked the car. He unbuckled his seatbelt, leaned over, and kissed him. His teeth grazed Shen Mu’s lower lip, and the moment Shen Mu gasped in pain and opened his mouth, Jiang Chengxuan drove deep inside, accurately finding his tongue and guiding Shen Mu to respond. Shen Mu was kissed until he struggled for breath, a muffled groan escaping his throat. Jiang Chengxuan didn’t release him until the corners of Shen Mu’s eyes were flushed red.
Jiang Chengxuan steadied his breathing, gently wiped the corner of Shen Mu’s mouth with his thumb, and admitted candidly: “Yes, I am jealous.”