Little Meteor Chapter 14
byChapter 14: Hiding
“Professor Shen!”
Shen Mu snapped back to reality and rubbed his ears. “What is it?”
“What is it?” Su Xieyi pointed her chopsticks at the untouched lunchbox in front of him. “That’s what I should be asking you! I keep seeing you spacing out lately. Is something going on?”
Shen Mu gave her a helpless look. “If you have this much free time, you should spend it thinking about your script.”
Su Xieyi was a very lovely girl. Although she could chat easily with anyone, she never formed deep connections. She seemed perfectly happy eating her boxed lunch with Shen Mu on the steps.
She shoveled a mouthful of rice and mumbled indistinctly, “I am thinking about it. I took on a new script, and it’s another big female lead story.”
Shen Mu smiled when he heard that. “Big female lead? That term is almost worn out now.”
“Exactly,” Su Xieyi swallowed her food. “But Professor Shen, didn’t you write scripts like that before? I remember you wrote the script for the drama Phoenix Cry, right?”
“I did,” Shen Mu said. “But it was pretty obscure. I’m surprised you still remember it.”
Su Xieyi looked excited. “I loved that drama! Especially the line where the female lead expressed extreme discomfort with the male lead’s heroic rescue.”
“The female lead said, ‘The only reason you can effortlessly solve all the problems I can’t is because everyone is aware of your status and position. If I stay by your side for long, I’m afraid I’ll spend every day speculating about your likes and dislikes, carefully observing your expression. Eventually, I might even forget who I originally was.’ That was the first time I saw such an anti-trope approach, and I found it incredibly satisfying.”
Shen Mu was quite touched that she remembered the lines so clearly. Su Xieyi pressed on, “But I haven’t seen that kind of subject matter since. Has no one asked you to write it?”
“They have, but,” Shen Mu paused, “they wanted me to add a redemption arc, saying the female lead should meet the male lead at the lowest point of her career and ultimately be saved by him.”
Shen Mu had retorted to that Producer at the time, asking, Is it a fake big female lead story, or is the reality that she can’t live without a man?
Su Xieyi nearly spat out her rice. “Professor Shen, you are hilarious! You dared to say that to their face?”
Shen Mu smiled. “That’s why the negotiations fell apart.”
Su Xieyi stopped laughing and poked the rice in her lunchbox with her chopsticks. “Actually, you’re right. Many dramas now claim to feature a big female lead, but they essentially rely on men to solve problems. No matter how capable the female lead is, she always has to wait for the male lead to rescue her at the critical moment.”
“That’s the market. Audiences enjoy it,” Shen Mu said. “Production companies don’t dare to take risks. They always feel that without a romance line, the show won’t sell.”
“But shouldn’t a true big female lead story be the epic of one person’s growth?” Su Xieyi rested her chin on her hand. “Her success and failure stem from herself; her choices and trade-offs shape her life. Love can be a part of her life, but it shouldn’t be the universal key to solving problems. Many so-called big female leads are actually just maneuvering between different men. There are too few characters who genuinely control their own destiny.”
Shen Mu chuckled. “I think you’re quite the big female lead yourself.”
“Who? Me?” Su Xieyi’s mood visibly dropped. “You’re just teasing me. What kind of big female lead am I?”
“I’m not teasing you,” Shen Mu said seriously. “In my opinion, a true big female lead isn’t necessarily someone who stands at the peak, commanding the wind and rain. Success in career and perfect love aren’t the only criteria. Every girl who lives her life earnestly and steadily, who never loses her drive or gives up on herself, is actually the shining big female lead of her own life.”
Upon hearing this, Su Xieyi suddenly put down her chopsticks, grabbed Shen Mu’s wrist, and her eyes sparkled. “Professor Shen, do you have a girlfriend? Do you think I could be an option?”
Shen Mu was stunned by her sudden action and question. He felt a little awkward. “Uh, thank you for liking me, but… I can’t have a girlfriend.”
Su Xieyi blinked, momentarily confused. “Why can’t you?”
Shen Mu cleared his throat, his gaze drifting toward the staff packing up equipment in the distance. “It’s the literal meaning.”
Su Xieyi paused for a few seconds, finally understanding. She released his hand and patted her own chest in self-consolation. “Okay, well, I guessed it, but I still held onto a sliver of hope. I failed before I even started the attack? That’s terrible luck for me!”
Shen Mu was never good at rejecting people, and he felt a bit guilty now, but he truly didn’t know how to comfort her. He said softly, “I’m sorry.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry about,” Su Xieyi gently nudged him with her elbow. “You can’t control who you like. But,” she suddenly leaned closer and lowered her voice, “is the person you like Doctor Jiang?”
Shen Mu hadn’t expected her to guess so accurately. He said, frustrated, “Is this really that obvious?”
“Not exactly, but maybe my observation skills are strong. After all, I like you, so I pay extra attention. And I can see that Doctor Jiang likes you a lot, too.”
Su Xieyi gossiped, “So, are you and Doctor Jiang an item now?”
Shen Mu placed the empty lunchbox aside and wiped his mouth. “It’s not very likely for us.”
“Why not?” Su Xieyi was puzzled. “I see that Doctor Jiang treats you very specially. Why are you so lacking in confidence?”
This wasn’t a matter of Shen Mu’s confidence. It was that he had always felt he had terrible luck since childhood, always preparing for the worst so he wouldn’t be too disappointed. Often, he felt that just living an ordinary life took all his strength.
When he was little, everyone would look at Shen Mu with a scrutinizing gaze. At first, he didn’t understand it; once he did, he hated that look. His parents had been respectable their entire lives, and the most undignified thing they did was having Xiao Hao as a son—urinating in public, stealing food without paying. His parents’ repeated apologies never earned them any tolerance, until Shen Mu was born.
Shen Mu had to be obedient, sensible, and outstanding, slowly earning back the face his parents had lost. The neighborhood children often mocked Shen Mu for having such a brother. Later, when he started school, Shen Mu never brought anyone home. The one time he did, he genuinely considered the person a friend, but the next day, everyone in class knew he had a brother like that. From then on, he never made friends again.
He was fundamentally insecure, wasn’t he? He felt he wasn’t good enough for Jiang Chengxuan. The closer Jiang Chengxuan got, the stronger this feeling became. He didn’t know if this counted as avoidant attachment. He had previously blamed Jiang Chengxuan for not giving him any response, but looking back now, it was fortunate that he hadn’t. Perhaps he preferred the feeling of unrequited love; he didn’t have to face uncertainty, and he certainly didn’t have to fear that the person he cared about would eventually turn and leave.
Half a month passed quickly, and Shen Mu hadn’t returned.
Jiang Chengxuan stared at his chat history with Shen Mu for a long time. The last message was just one word: “Mm.”
Shen Mu was intentionally avoiding him. He felt it, and it left a sour taste in his mouth. Professor Jiang tapped the table. “It’s your turn. You haven’t moved for ages.”
Jiang Chengxuan finally snapped out of it and pushed his horse forward.
“Check.” Professor Jiang easily captured his chariot and shook his head. “This is not my son’s standard. Your mind isn’t on the game, is it?”
His mother walked over, carrying a fruit platter. “What’s wrong with Xiao Xuan? He’s so distracted.”
Professor Jiang snorted. “He’s spacing out while playing chess. Something must be up.”
Jiang Chengxuan’s mother immediately became interested. She sat down next to her son and whispered, “Is something going on? Tell Mom, I’ll help you figure it out.”
Professor Jiang clicked his tongue. “Why do you always jump to that conclusion? Can’t Xiao Xuan just be having trouble at work?”
“Why are you clicking your tongue? I’m not overthinking it. I’m familiar with Xiao Xuan’s state. You were exactly like this when you were pursuing me, daydreaming all the time.”
Professor Jiang’s old face flushed. “We’re talking about the child. Why bring me into this?”
“Why shouldn’t I?” his mother said righteously. “Our son is clearly troubled by love, just like you were back then. Son, if you like someone, you have to be brave and pursue them. Look at your father—if he hadn’t been thick-skinned enough, we wouldn’t have this family.”
Professor Jiang couldn’t help but slap the table, his face red. “That’s enough out of you.”
Jiang Chengxuan felt a headache coming on. He picked up his phone and scrolled through the night view photos Shen Mu had sent two days ago. “You two don’t need to worry yourselves sick. I know what I need to do.”
Professor Jiang immediately became excited. “You know what you need to do? Wait, you really do have something going on? Son, tell me who it is, what they do, what their name is, what they look like, when are you bringing them home for us to see…”
Jiang Chengxuan suddenly stood up. “I’m going out.”
His mother hadn’t processed it yet. “Where are you going this late?”
“Something came up.” Jiang Chengxuan had already grabbed his car keys. “You two go to sleep first. Don’t wait up for me.”