IM Chapter 41
by VolareHe seemed a little distracted while they sat together that evening.
Shang Jue keenly noticed the unusual mood of Shen ChiTai, tilting his head slightly, “Ge, are you in a bad mood today?”
Shen ChiTai shook his head twice, a faint smile appearing at the corner of his mouth, but his eyes were somewhat unfocused. He chuckled softly, saying with gentle eyes, “No, I just suddenly thought of you when you were little, and found it very cute.”
“If Ge likes children, we can have one too.” Shang Jue said casually, his tone light, unaware of the waves these words stirred in Shen ChiTai’s heart.
A hint of joy instantly surfaced in Shen ChiTai’s eyes, as if he had grasped a glimmer of hope. He seized the opportunity to ask, “Does A-Jue like children?” His eyes were full of anticipation as he asked, his heart beating faster involuntarily.
Shang Jue blurted out without thinking, “I don’t like sharing Ge with anyone, let alone children, not even cats or dogs.”
Shen ChiTai closed his eyes slightly, the glimmer of hope that had just risen in his heart shattering instantly like a bubble, sinking heavily.
The omega sat there blankly, thoughts swirling in his mind, countless ideas intertwined and colliding in his heart. Each choice seemed to weigh a ton, making it hard for him to breathe.
His voice trembled slightly as he asked carefully, “Then if, I mean if, what if I wanted one?”
“I heard that it’s very dangerous for omegas to give birth.” Unpleasant memories flooded his mind like a burst dam, Shang Jue’s eyes darkened, and he said resolutely, “I don’t want Ge to take that risk for me. If that’s the case, I’d rather not have children.”
This answer was like a bucket of cold water poured from head to toe, instantly extinguishing Shen ChiTai’s last bit of fantasy. The omega’s body almost instantly stiffened, a chill rising from the soles of his feet, making him feel an icy coldness all over.
The previous joy and anticipation disappeared completely at this moment, replaced by endless disappointment and confusion.
A-Jue hates children. Even if he stubbornly insisted on giving birth to this child, to the alpha, it would only be the most inferior form of binding and restraint. Moreover, how cruel would it be for a child to grow up in such an unwelcoming environment?
After all, this would be the crystallization of his and A-Jue’s love. To personally strangle a living life… Shen ChiTai struggled secretly in a place where the alpha couldn’t see, and after a long time, he gritted his teeth. He decided to act decisively while there was still time, to prevent future tragedies from happening.
Once he had made up his mind, he checked his bank account balance. He had scraped together 200,000 yuan from two bank cards to lend to Yu Xingqiao a while ago, and he also had a fixed deposit. There wasn’t much left in his WeChat account either.
All the coincidences came together, and Shen ChiTai suddenly felt that this might be fate, that God was making a decision for them in the dark. It was just a pity that he might not be able to follow God’s will this time.
He thought about borrowing some money from Yu Xingqiao to solve his immediate needs, but after a second thought, he gave up.
Yu Xingqiao had been busy managing his newly opened flower shop recently and probably wasn’t flush with cash.
The funny thing was, the only person he could think of now was Shang Jue.
Shang Jue’s eyes flashed with a hint of doubt when he heard that he wanted to borrow money, but he didn’t think too much about it. Besides, the alpha had been in a great mood these past two days, and his whole being was often in a state of elation. Now, he didn’t care whether it was a rooster egg or a hen egg, as long as it was an egg, it was fine.
Since his Ge had asked, he would have to personally deliver the money to his Ge, even if he had to sell himself.
The alpha unhesitatingly stuffed his bank card into Shen ChiTai’s hand.
Shen ChiTai took the bank card, lowered his head, and felt a mix of emotions in his heart. He stood there woodenly, staring at the card in his hand, his eyes somewhat unfocused.
“Ge, if you encounter any difficulties, you must tell me.”
Shen ChiTai nodded lightly twice. Shang Jue was originally very worried and wanted to ask a few more questions, but seeing Shen ChiTai’s slightly embarrassed expression, the worry in his heart instantly outweighed the doubt. He said softly, “The password is the last few digits of Ge’s ID card. Tell me if it’s not enough.”
Shen ChiTai replied with a “okay.”
He didn’t know if he was doing the right thing or not, but he felt as if the card weighed a ton, making it hard for him to breathe, and his stomach also felt uncomfortable.
The omega had already contacted the hospital and asked about the general situation. The rest required a personal visit to the hospital. He went to the cat cafe in the morning, fed the cats, and took care of things at the cat cafe before leaving.
Yu Xingqiao had been busy managing his newly opened flower shop recently.
At half past ten, he was still trimming flowers in the shop. Seeing Shang Jue standing at the door, he took the time to glance at the man and stopped what he was doing with a smile, straightening up and looking at him.
“What are you doing at the flower shop?” Yu Xingqiao asked him curiously.
Shang Jue strode in, his eyes scanning the flowers in the shop from left to right, “I want a bouquet of roses, the best ones.”
Yu Xingqiao blinked, his eyes full of amusement, “Buying them for your Ge?”
“Yeah.” Shang Jue responded briefly, a hint of tenderness appearing on his face.
Yu Xingqiao readily agreed, casually asking, “He didn’t seem to be feeling well before, how is he now?”
Shang Jue’s eyes paused slightly, his voice sinking, “When was this?”
“Didn’t he tell you when he got back?” Yu Xingqiao narrowed his eyes slightly, feeling a little puzzled. He didn’t tell his family about such an important thing? “You’re with him all day, you couldn’t have not noticed.”
Shang Jue lowered his dark eyes, and didn’t speak for a moment. He had felt that his Ge was a little strange before, but he had been too careless and hadn’t asked carefully.
Yu Xingqiao’s eyelids twitched, and he smiled silently, moving the corners of his lips.
This family was also strange.
Shen ChiTai’s reaction was a little slow when he received Shang Jue’s flowers.
He looked at the vividly colored roses, as if he couldn’t believe it, “Why would you suddenly give me flowers?”
“Beautiful flowers should of course be given to people you like. I just don’t know what kind of flowers Ge likes, so I just bought one at random.” Shang Jue said with a smile.
Shen ChiTai looked down at the fragrant and fresh roses in his arms, a smile floating on his face. He said sincerely, “Thank you, I like them very much.” But the omega’s smile was a little forced, and there was an imperceptible bitterness hidden in his eyes.
“Why didn’t Ge tell me if you weren’t feeling well?” Shang Jue suddenly changed the subject.
“…” A trace of panic and helplessness flashed across the omega’s eyes. He thought that he knew about his pregnancy.
However, after he calmed down a bit, seeing that Shang Jue was still unaware, he quickly returned to a nonchalant look that reassured others. “I’m fine, it’s just a small matter, there’s no need to alarm everyone.”
He tried to make his voice sound calm, but Shang Jue was a little dissatisfied with these words. “How can it be a small matter if Ge is not feeling well?” His hand went around Shen ChiTai’s lower back, pulling him into his arms and hugging him tightly.
“Ge is setting a bad example for me by doing this. If I get sick in the future, I’ll also hide it from everyone like you, and not tell any of you. I’ll wait until my body is completely cold before letting the hospital notify my family. Would that be good?”
“No, I was wrong.” Shen ChiTai said anxiously.
“What was Ge wrong about?” Shang Jue asked relentlessly.
“I shouldn’t have hidden it from you, A-Jue, please don’t tease me.” Shen ChiTai took the initiative to lean into his arms, his chest pressed tightly against his body. “I was wrong, please forgive me for being a first-time offender.” His heart was still tangled up in the fact that he was hiding the fact that he was going to the hospital to have an abortion from Shang Jue. What would Shang Jue do to him if he found out?
“Just this once. If you hide it from me again next time, Ge will have to be punished.” Shang Jue said this with a serious expression.
Punished? Shen ChiTai stared at the alpha’s expression, which didn’t seem to be joking, and his heart tightened. What would Shang Jue’s reaction be if he knew what he was secretly doing? Anger? Fury? Or complete disappointment in him? These were all his own guesses. After all, Shang Jue didn’t like children, so maybe he would be very happy.
But he felt an undercurrent of unease in his heart. The alpha’s uncertainty made his mood even more bitter. After dinner, he got up and went straight back to his room.
Shang Jue came to knock on the door, but Shen ChiTai excused himself by saying that he was a little sleepy and wanted to rest first. Shang Jue also took into consideration that he had bullied him too hard before and was rarely kind enough to let him go. Before leaving, he repeatedly told him to rest well, leaning against the door.
Shen ChiTai suppressed his voice and responded softly. He heard footsteps fading away outside the door, followed by someone closing the door in the next room.
He sat on the bed with a heart full of loneliness, gently stroking his stomach with his right hand. In the moment when his thoughts drifted away, the face he spent day and night with suddenly appeared in his mind.
He suddenly regretted it. If he had hardened his heart and pushed Shang Jue away from the beginning, he could have avoided this from happening, and he wouldn’t have harmed a life for nothing.
But now, it was all too late.
Shen ChiTai went to the hospital on an empty stomach early the next morning. The doctor had already roughly understood the basic health condition of his body yesterday. Now, before the operation, the omega needed to undergo a surgical risk assessment, including blood clotting function, etc., which would take some time.
While waiting for the test results, Shen ChiTai received a call from Shang Jue. He hesitated, unsure of how to face Shang Jue. His fingers hovered above the answer button, but he was hesitant to press it.
He didn’t know how to explain his behavior to Shang Jue at this moment. He was also afraid that there would be a conflict between the two because of this, and even more afraid to face Shang Jue’s eyes after knowing the truth. Every fear was like an invisible thread, tightly binding him, so that he could only choose to escape.
Shang Jue called the omega seven or eight times in a row, but Shen ChiTai didn’t answer any of them.
The alpha really couldn’t help it and turned to call Yu Xingqiao.
“Didn’t my Ge go to the shop today?” Shang Jue’s tone was very anxious when he said this.
“He didn’t come. Isn’t your Ge at home?” Yu Xingqiao asked him back.
“I called him, but he didn’t answer.” Shang Jue was obviously much more anxious.
“Could something have happened! Oh, right, he sent me a message at three in the morning last night, saying that he had something to do today and couldn’t come. I only saw it this morning.” Yu Xingqiao suddenly remembered that there was this matter. If Shang Jue hadn’t called him now, he wouldn’t have taken it to heart.
“Didn’t he tell you where he was going?” Shang Jue asked him.
“He said he wasn’t feeling well. Could he have gone to the hospital?” Yu Xingqiao guessed.
Shang Jue hung up the phone and rushed to the nearby hospital in a hurry.
Shen ChiTai was sitting in the hallway in a daze when he heard the doctor call his name. He quickly got up and walked into the clinic.
“You’re Mr. Shen ChiTai who made an appointment yesterday, right? We have your test report here, and all the indicators are fine. However, before you go in, we still suggest that you consider it again. All the indicators now show that the child is very healthy. In fact, our hospital does not recommend that you abort the child. Moreover, you came alone, right?” The doctor was very patient.
“Yes, but I… I’m determined…” Shen ChiTai bit his lip, his heart filled with mixed feelings.
He knew that his decision might be very cruel, but he felt that this was the only way at the moment.
The doctor frowned slightly when he saw him showing a hesitant expression. He said earnestly, “You can consider it again. If you still insist in the end, we will perform the surgery for you.”
Shen ChiTai bit his pale lower lip tightly, his eyes a little red. The pain and entanglement in his heart became more and more intense, and finally he shook his head slowly.
Seeing this, the doctor didn’t try to persuade him any further. After all, every family has its own problems, and they just had to do their job. “Okay, if you’re sure, here’s an informed consent form that you need to sign yourself.”
Shen ChiTai took the pen, but his hand couldn’t help but tremble slightly.
He hesitated for a moment, then bent down and left his name in the blank space where the signature was needed. Three beautiful words, no matter how you looked at them, they were so beautiful that you couldn’t find fault with them. But at this moment, appearing on this piece of white paper, they were even more dazzling and cold than a row of black square characters.
Shen ChiTai dropped the pen in his hand as he finished the last stroke. The cold body of the black pen seemed to penetrate his fingertips and went straight to his heart, causing his heart to ache.
He followed the doctor to the door of the operating room. The equipment inside was not yet ready and he needed to wait a moment. Shen ChiTai only waited outside for a few minutes before his cell phone rang again. It was Shang Jue.
The alpha kept calling him, hanging up and then calling again. This time, he simply put his phone on silent mode.