HR Chapter 30

Chapter 30: Redemption

The only thing spoiling this beautiful scene was Lu Qingshuang. He leaned against the swing, one hand gripping the ropes, his feet touching the ground as he swayed gently. His face was tilted up, eyes closed, displaying the weakness and unburdened joy of someone released from long-term suppression. His expression was lost in pleasure, lazy, and his smile was contented and blurred. A long cigarette was held between his fingers resting on the swing. The cigarette tip sent up a puff of green smoke that drifted upwards. After a moment of relaxation, he brought it to his mouth for a deep drag, then slowly, gently, and gradually exhaled. The movements were practiced and elegant, and even in his decadence, he couldn’t erase the aloofness etched into his bones.

Bai Ze couldn’t stand the smell of smoke, especially when it was laced with drugs. He stood far away and called out, “Xiao Shuang.”

Hearing the voice, Lu Qingshuang’s narrowed eyes opened a slit to glance over. He blew out a smoke ring, watching Bai Ze standing in the distance through the swirling smoke. After a moment, he slowly turned his head back, continuing to look up at the sky.

“I heard he asked you to quit drugs, and you refused.” In front of Lu Jianwei, he couldn’t bring himself to say the words “adoptive father.” Yet, in his heart, he deeply respected him. Therefore, Bai Ze tried his best to avoid calling him anything. When it was unavoidable, he used “him” as a substitute.

“Times change. Things are different now.” With a sigh, Lu Qingshuang pointed behind him. “Sit. The wind won’t carry the smoke over here. Can’t even handle this little bit of smoke? You’re so weak.” He threw away the half-smoked cigarette, stomped it out forcefully, and sat on the bamboo chair.

Two or three rose branches displayed different colors, red and white interspersed. The red ones were bold and vibrant, the white ones noble and flawless. The fragrance of the flowers was strong, blending perfectly with the aroma of the tea. Lu Qingshuang pointed and introduced them one by one. “The red ones are ‘Tangerine Flame’ and ‘Reading Platform,’ and the white ones are ‘Baihe’ and ‘Wisteria Green Cloud.'”

Lu Qingshuang’s complexion was a sickly white, as if it had been quenched by drugs. His chin was sharp, and his cheekbones protruded, giving him a morbidly skeletal beauty. His finger bones were like pale bamboo joints, slender and straight, yet revealing a pallid weakness. His nails, however, were trimmed round and smooth like shells, very beautiful. His fingers trailed down, landing on the thorny rose stems, as if self-mockingly saying, “Red and white, neither one is wronged.”

Bai Ze sat opposite him. The lingering smell of smoke made him cough. Lu Qingshuang clicked his tongue impatiently, and ordered someone to move the tea set indoors. He himself went to take a shower and change his clothes before returning. Bai Ze was standing in front of a curio cabinet, looking at it. The cabinet was filled with many ornaments—stones, jade, bamboo carvings, wood carvings—but all of them were cheap trinkets that only children would collect.

Next to the cabinet on the wall was a hook, where a wooden sword should have been hanging. But now it was empty. Lu Qinyuan, on the other hand, had acquired an Ancient Famous Sword, modeled after Qingshuang’s. It was a birthday gift Lu Qingshuang had given him last year, which he casually hung on the wall of Lu Qinyuan’s house and hadn’t touched since.

“Do you also think it looks very empty here?” Lu Qingshuang spoke from behind Bai Ze. “Replace it with another one, and it won’t be empty anymore. Come on, try the tea I brewed for you.”

The tea was Bamboo Leaf Green, the liquid a clear, bright yellowish-green. Bai Ze took two sips. The taste was clear, mellow, and refreshing, with a lingering sweetness. It was good tea. Lu Qingshuang filled his cup, seemingly exhausted as he forced a slight smile. “Bai, I’m a little tired. So many years, I’m really tired.”

Bai Ze held his teacup without speaking, his gaze resting on the red and white roses in the bamboo vase. The petals were layered and thick, yet they retained a refined and graceful beauty.

Lu Qingshuang continued, “Before, it was just hatred, simple and direct. Now that I need to make a choice, I’ve realized that I’ve long since become impure. I don’t know when it changed. I really don’t know.”

Lu Qingshuang was lost. “Maybe it was the first time I succumbed to the drug addiction. Everything changed. Do you know how he coaxed me into taking drugs? Like a father coaxing a child. He told me clearly that it was drugs, something that makes people happy, but also something that’s addictive. But, he said…”

He said, “I just want this bad thing to ruin you. What can I do? I can’t think of a more civilized way, Xiao Shuang. Do you understand the painstaking efforts of a father? Just take this drug. Dad will always supply you, so you’ll always be happy.” As if he was the one being forced to take drugs and make a choice.

“At that time, he had just gotten off me, gentle like he was whispering sweet nothings,” Lu Qingshuang’s voice paused, a hint of sorrow and pain flowing in his eyes, his voice low like a murmur. “I’ve always felt like I’m living in a dream. When I was forced into the red-light district, I was shocked by the bizarre and prosperous scene before me. I told my mom that I liked it here, that I wanted to live here with her. That woman cried.”

“My first man was a guest of my mom’s. He was a very gentle person. He asked me, ‘Do you want to be fucked by ten thousand people, or do you want to be someone’s pet?’ I asked him, ‘Which is more comfortable?’ That man laughed, and very seriously said, ‘There’s no such thing as comfortable. You have to sacrifice something to get something.’ ” Lu Qingshuang chuckled softly at this point. “I said, ‘Then it’ll be you. I’m not picky.’ The man became my guest, but he always gave double the money, one for me, one for my mom. I said many times that he didn’t have to give so much, but he insisted. Later I realized that this man was just humiliating me in a very gentle and polite way. How cheap can I be, still clinging to him.”

Lu Qingshuang ran a finger under his eye, then looked up at Bai Ze with a smile. “I just want to know why you helped him keep me here.”

“It’s rare for him to take a liking to someone,” Bai Ze added, “He’s very lonely. As a son, you should be by your father’s side.”

“But he clearly likes you the most…” Lu Qingshuang said, shaking his head with a self-deprecating chuckle. He habitually reached for a cigarette, but paused when he remembered Bai Ze was there. He tucked the cigarette behind his ear, picked up the bamboo cup, took a sip, and then said with distaste, “It’s cold.” He took the teapot to add hot water.

Bai Ze recalled that Lu Jianwei had once asked him what could make a person willingly stay. He had jokingly said, “Get him hooked on drugs, and then sleep with him.” He didn’t expect Lu Jianwei to actually do it. By the time he found out, he couldn’t stop it anymore.

Lu Qingshuang returned quickly, carrying a plate of water chestnut cake and a peeled boiled egg. Bai Ze picked up the egg and ate it. It was well known that he liked eggs and oranges. Even the biggest cake shaped like an egg couldn’t compare to a real egg.

“Among our group, Bai is the happiest.” Lu Qingshuang just watched Bai Ze eat, thoughtfully blowing on his tea to cool it. When he finished eating, he handed it to him, watching Bai Ze drink it before saying, “So, you’re bound to be envied. A man is innocent, but possessing treasure invites crime.”

“It seems like I’m hated, but only I know if the treasure I hold is good or bad. On the surface, it’s glamorous, but it’s not worth envying.” Bai Ze’s fingers caressed the cup. He shifted his body to find a comfortable position, loosened his tie, and frowned slightly. He felt a little tightness in his chest, a little short of breath.

“You don’t know how lucky you are.” Lu Qingshuang took out a packet of foil-wrapped drugs from under the table, skillfully and quickly unwrapping it. Just as he was about to heat it with a lighter, Bai Ze suddenly sneezed. The little bit of drug in the foil was blown away, scattering in the air between them, falling on the table, falling into the cup, falling on the blooming roses.

“Bai Ze!” Lu Qingshuang stared at Bai Ze angrily. He had long been craving drugs. He didn’t want to move while sitting outside, so he smoked to relieve it. Now, he really couldn’t hold back.

Bai Ze covered his mouth and coughed softly, intermittently saying, “Not good, cough, I’m sorry, I have, cough, I feel a little unwell.”

“You ruined my drugs, you feel bad about it, right?” Lu Qingshuang took the cigarette from behind his ear, skillfully lit it, took a puff, and exhaled it directly into Bai Ze’s face. His peach blossom eyes became more intoxicating and blurred in the smoke. “Smoke is poison to you, but it’s medicine to me, it’s redemption.”

The pungent smoke filled his lungs, and Bai Ze finally couldn’t help but cough loudly. He waved repeatedly at Lu Qingshuang, shaking his head, but he coughed so much he couldn’t say a word.

“We were lucky enough to be born on the same day. Today, I’ll let you try my medicine.” Lu Qingshuang leaned over and kissed Bai Ze, feeding him a mouthful of smoke. Bai Ze immediately coughed violently, faint smoke puffing out of his mouth and nose with each cough.

Lu Qingshuang stood aside, watching from above, enjoying Bai Ze’s rare discomfiture. After finishing the cigarette in his hand, he said unhurriedly, “I owe my situation today entirely to you. Isn’t it fair to return a puff of smoke? But it seems you can’t handle smoke. Your cough is hurting my liver. I heard you have asthma. I didn’t notice it usually. Don’t let my smoke trigger it, or I won’t be able to explain myself.”

Bai Ze coughed so hard that his heart and lungs ached. He grabbed the clothes at his chest and tore at them, wishing he could pull out his internal organs and air them out. He gritted his teeth to stay conscious, but he felt a roaring in his ears, and his head was blank from lack of oxygen. The surrounding air seemed to be working against him. No matter how he inhaled, he always felt like he wasn’t getting enough. With each breath, his chest rose and fell with pain, but if his breathing slowed or weakened, he felt suffocated. Bai Ze was driven almost to madness, the veins on the back of his hand gripping the armrest bulging like mountains.

Lu Qingshuang watched the spectacle for a while, but in the end, he couldn’t bear it. He didn’t want Bai Ze to die here. He strode out to call for someone.

In a blur, he heard a sound of footsteps leaving. Bai Ze couldn’t help but groan in pain, moaning softly, relying on his tenacious will to control himself from doing anything more shameful.

Only one name echoed in his mind: Zhu Yan, Zhu Yan, Zhu Yan, Zhu Yan…

As if that name was his redemption.

“Bai!” Suddenly, a thunderous roar like a mountain echo struck his ears like lightning. Bai Ze slowly breathed a sigh of relief.

Zhu Yan rushed over in a few steps, helping Bai Ze up to lean on him, anxiously asking, “Bai, how are you? How are you? I’m here, tell me what’s wrong.”

Bai Ze leaned against Zhu Yan’s chest, trying to adjust his breathing, but he couldn’t relieve the feeling of suffocation at all. His throat also became dry and painful. Bai Ze covered his chest and hoarsely said, “Heart… hurts… heart hurts… Zhu Yan, heart hurts…” Tears finally couldn’t help but flow.

“Bai, Bai, Bai Ze, don’t scare me!”

Zhu Yan called out as he hurriedly picked up Bai Ze and rushed out. The guests in the main courtyard were startled by the sudden appearance of Zhu Yan. Before they could recover, they saw Zhu Yan carrying someone and rushing out of the courtyard. Although they couldn’t see the face of the person in his arms, the guests knew in their hearts that it was the birthday star, the most important person today.

Carried in vertically into the side courtyard, carried out horizontally. Today was lively enough.

Lu Jianwei quickly learned that Bai Ze had been carried out of the side courtyard. He only sent people to take care of Bai Ze. Afterwards, as if nothing had happened, the banquet continued.

Author’s Note:

I forgot to save the manuscript, sorry. There will be three updates today. I wish everyone a Merry Christmas in advance. Don’t forget to eat an apple tonight.