Chew Slowly Chapter 81
byChapter 81 Chapter 81
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The keys and the innocent card were returned to him. What Xu Qiaochuan didn’t want included himself. Chen Zongqian suddenly woke up from his dream.
Feral cats can survive, unhealthy plants can survive, and they have their own ways of adapting to the harsh conditions.Fifteen years is enough for Xiaoran to grow into Xu Qiaochuan, and he doesn’t particularly need someone to be by his side.
Chen Zongqian realized the cruelest and most terrifying thing – it was not that Xu Qiaochuan needed him, but that he needed Xu Qiaochuan.
He was always good at using words and logic as weapons, but at this moment he was at a loss for words and couldn’t speak to defend himself.There was nothing new about those sadnesses, and Xu Qiaochuan was tired of seeing them. I was sorry to hear that he had calluses on his ears.Xu Qiaochuan was avoiding not only the truth, but also Chen Zongqian who was covering up with guilt and afraid to make a decision.
What decision should be made in this situation?Who else in the world has ever gone to such an extreme?There is no case for him to learn from.
“Give me a little more time, okay?” The cold wind poured into his throat, and the cold air spread down, outlining his lungs and spleen. He was even more sad, so Chen Zongqian endured it, “Xiaoqiao, give me a little time, I will think about it clearly.”
He frowned, the muscles on his face were tensed, and he was twitching slightly due to the wind.If he shed tears, it would mean that he was forcing Xu Qiaochuan with sadness again. He should maintain a proper smile, but that mask would have been shattered into pieces.Chen Zongqian didn’t know what expression to use. He seemed to be stuck here forever, trapped in the seaside park forever.
“I’m leaving.” Xu Qiaochuan neither agreed nor refused. He walked very fast, not in the direction he came from.He could clearly hear every word Chen Zongqian said behind his back, but he never looked back.
Bypassing the white clock tower, Xuqiao River exits the seaside park.He stood alone on the roadside, watching the flowing lights drifting past his eyes.He had decided to leave as early as the night they had sex. He blamed him for being too greedy and procrastinating until now to get rid of her.Now that all the sad ties have been severed, why do I still feel uncomfortable?
The bell rang on the hour, and Xu Qiaochuan turned around suddenly. In the thick night, he could only hear the sound but could not see where the bell tower was.The eight bells rang, ringing with panic.
Xu Qiaochuan went down along Line 4, passing Jicheng Community and Cultural Square. The car suddenly became quite empty, and he finally had a chance to sit down.The calf was stretched for too long, and it soon became cramped and painful. Xu Qiaochuan secretly stretched it, but the pain did not subside much.A figure was reflected in the dark glass, and Xu Qiaochuan still looked like a ghost.
He moved his eyes away, and the electronic female voice on the radio announced the next stop, Shizhi Mountain.
During holidays and weekends, more people come to Shizhi Mountain to climb mountains or worship Buddha. Zhaozheng Temple is located on Shizhi Mountain.Xu Qiaochuan came once, but he forgot when it was. He only remembered that he was with Chen Zongqian.Thinking of Chen Zongqian again, Xu Qiaochuan’s feet froze.
The mountain is not high, and the stone steps on the mountain path are very wide, making it quite strenuous to walk.When he reached the stone wall with all the characters carved on it, Xu Qiaochuan was already covered in sweat.The cold wind dried the clothes quickly, and the fabric loosened from the back, like a layer of skin being peeled off, which still made people uncomfortable.The plaque on the mountain gate reads “My heart is bright”, but the street lights are dim and the buildings are half hidden in the night, not much light can be seen.
Xu Qiaochuan was stopped by security guards as soon as he passed by.At five o’clock in the evening, Zhaozheng Temple closed its grounds and no longer received tourists. The security guard explained that Xu Qiaochuan’s face was frighteningly white, and he was lost in thought again. He waved his hand in front of his eyes.Xu Qiaochuan was frightened and backed away, looking at people warily.
“Go back. It’s so late at night and all the monks are asleep. I want to worship Buddha and come back tomorrow.”
“I don’t worship Buddha.” Xu Qiaochuan responded quickly, and both of them fell silent.
“Uncle Wang?” Another person came out of the security booth. He hadn’t seen Xu Qiaochuan yet, but his voice sounded familiar.
Why are you here if you don’t worship Buddha?Xu Qiaochuan couldn’t answer and didn’t speak anymore. He just looked at the people coming out of the security booth.The hair is cut into a round shape, with a furry layer sticking to the scalp.Underneath the cotton coat is a long yellow hem, the same color as the novice monk’s robe.
He smiled slightly at Xu Qiaochuan.
“Aren’t all the monks asleep?” Xu Qiaochuan asked. The security guard said that the daily life of the monks in the temple was strictly arranged. For example, they got up at 4:30 in the morning, went to the temple to do morning prayers at 5:00, did not eat after lunch, meditated at 8:00 in the evening, and took a break at 9:00. They were very disciplined.
“He’s not a monk yet, he’s going back right away.” Security guard Uncle Wang pointed to the side of the security booth, “The battery car is parked there to charge.”
Lay Buddhist Yuanyi is a familiar face at Zhaozheng Temple. Although he has recognized the old Zen master as his master and has the Buddhist name “Yuanyi”, he has not yet been ordained and formally converted to Buddhism.Lay Buddhists are disciples who practice Buddhism at home and go to the temple whenever they have free time.
“There are hundreds of thousands of people who come here every day, either chanting sutras and praying, or asking for enlightenment. There are also people who hope to eliminate karma, open up wisdom, and build fields of blessings. The most common ones are to ask for protection and protection from the Buddhas. You didn’t know what you wanted last time. Do you still not know what you want this time?”
Xu Qiaochuan shook his head and said blankly: “Do you know me?”
He couldn’t see people’s faces clearly, and his memory was even more blurry. Xu Qiaochuan felt a pain when he thought about it, and his forehead shivered and a drop of cold sweat broke out.Uncle Wang looked like a student. He ran to the temple at a young age and couldn’t help but sigh.Xu Qiaochuan’s condition was really worrying. Uncle Wang waved his hand and hurried the two of them into the pavilion: “Aren’t you cold in the wind? Come in and sit down to talk if you have anything to say.”
The security booth is not big, less than one foot long and wide, and there is only a small gap left after three people sit down in the room.Although it is crowded, a small solar panel warms the entire room.The sea breeze and mountain breeze blew through Xuqiaochuan today. After blowing for a long time, I was so numb that I didn’t even feel the cold. I sat down for a while before my body became less stiff.His legs were shaking uncontrollably. Xu Qiaochuan knew that he was weird and pressed his knees firmly with his hands.
“Hot water.” Yuan Yi handed him a transparent plastic cup. Xu Qiaochuan’s wrist was shaking. When he thought he would lose his grip on the cup, Yuan Yi raised his hand and the cup did not fall into Xu Qiaochuan’s hand.
Xu Qiaochuan stared at the water in the plastic cup, taking in the warm yellow light of the little sun, like a cluster of beating fire.This fire was immersed in the water, crumbling but never extinguished.His mind brightened for a moment, and he remembered that he had learned to recite scriptures at Zhaozheng Temple and lit many lotus-like lamps.
What scriptures have you memorized?Xu Qiaochuan insisted on thinking of those things, but when he thought about having a splitting headache, he could only spell out a few bits and pieces.He muttered with his lips: “Shun would have been destroyed if he had many sexual qualities…”
I don’t remember the next sentence.
Yuanyi heard that he suddenly recited a scripture, and it was the same sentence over and over again. He couldn’t continue, so Yuanyi reminded him and said: “Shuojia Luo’s heart has not moved.”
The security guard, Uncle Wang, ignored the two of them and watched the show covered with thick cotton clothes.Xu Qiaochuan read it again before taking the cup of hot water: “What does this mean?”
“Why do you ask this?” Yuanyi did not answer immediately.He had a deep impression of Xu Qiaochuan. The last time Xu Qiaochuan came here, he was covered with injuries. This time when we met again, the injuries on his body were gone, but Yuanyi still felt that the man was in pain. “You look very bad. Do you need me to call Mr. Chen?”
Mr. Chen, Xu Qiaochuan’s eyelids trembled and he lowered his eyes as if to cover up: “Do you know who he is?”
Yuanyi didn’t interact with many people, but Chen Zongqian suddenly appeared one day to study Buddhism with the old Zen master.He thought he would become a senior brother, but Chen Zongqian only stayed for a while.When Yuan thought about old things, he smiled and said, “I’m not sure, but I feel that you two are very similar.”
Not only his face, but also his face was deeply trapped by troubles.
Xu Qiaochuan didn’t want to mention Chen Zongqian again, so he abruptly changed the subject.Yuan Yi still smiled, his eyes were very gentle, and asked Xu Qiaochuan why he insisted on knowing these two sentences. He didn’t have a good explanation.The night in his mind was very blurry. The clearest thing was that he saw the sadness in Chen Zongqian’s eyes through the lotus lantern, which stung his heart.He didn’t want these to be the only memories left, he had already lost too much of his life.
“Are you reciting this when you light the lamp?” Yuanyi was very surprised. “The Morning Bell Gauge is generally not recited in the evening.”
This verse taken from the Shurangama Sutra was made into a song. When it was just dawn in the morning, the masters could often be heard singing the Morning Bell verse from the distant bells of Zhaozheng Temple.In the temple, the bell is rung twice in the morning and evening, and “The Dusk Bell” is recited in the evening.Xu Qiaochuan was stunned. This was really abnormal. Could everything have been reversed from the beginning?
Xu Qiaochuan took a sip of water. The white water was tasteless, but he felt his tongue was bitter: “What on earth does this mean?”
“Shun Ruo is empty, and Shuo Jia Luo means solid here. They are both transliterations of Sanskrit.” Yuanyi took out a tissue from his pocket and handed it over. Xu Qiaochuan was a little confused. Only when he took it did he see a few drops of blood on his hand.
“The two verses Ananda said show that his vows are firm and unshakable, even if emptiness is destroyed. According to all worldly laws, emptiness cannot be destroyed. In this case, Shuokala’s mind will not change or retreat.”
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Shunruoduo, the transliteration of Sanskrit ūnyatā, refers to emptiness.
Shuojia Luo, the transliteration of the Sanskrit Cakra, the free translation is wheel, vajra, and effort.
Ananda, one of the ten disciples of Sakyamuni.