TSIBAMS Chapter 118
by VolareWhen Ye Xing arrived home, the lights were still off. The moonlight was quite bright, shining into the house, clearly outlining the furniture in the living room, so he couldn’t be bothered to reach for the switch.
——Ever since he started calculating the cost of rice, cooking oil, and salt, he had been saving on all expenses wherever possible.
He had just thrown his school uniform onto the sofa when the balcony door a few meters away suddenly opened, startling Ye Xing. He took several steps back, ready to grab a knife from the kitchen, when he saw Fang Rong, wrapped in a blanket, walk in from the balcony.
He hadn’t even noticed someone standing on the balcony…
He let out a sigh of relief: “You’re not asleep yet? Why don’t you turn on the lights?”
Fang Rong replied irrelevantly, “Your class teacher called me today.”
“What’s wrong?” Ye Xing asked.
Fang Rong sat down on the nearby sofa. Because the lights were off, her expression was unclear.
“He said that the school is spreading rumors that you like boys and he’s worried it will affect your studies, so he asked me to talk to you.” Fang Rong said.
Ye Xing was a little surprised and unconsciously sniffed.
He knew this day would come sooner or later, and he had prepared countless explanations in his mind, but he didn’t expect it to come so quickly, and even less did he expect Fang Rong’s attitude to be so calm.
He didn’t know if it was because her ineffective resistance had exhausted her or if her psychological therapy had not only eased her anxiety but also made her see things more clearly.
Either way, the fact that Fang Rong had brought up the topic meant that the revolution was half won.
Fang Rong spoke again: “Xiao Xing, what have you been doing at school?”
“Which part are you concerned about?” Ye Xing asked, “That I like boys? Or my studies?”
Fang Rong raised her head and stared at him for a long while.
“You know I’ve been avoiding this issue, to save face for both of us, and to give you space, hoping you could figure it out yourself and return from the wrong path.”
“We have to face this issue eventually.” Ye Xing walked to the water dispenser, placed his glass, turned on the tap, and watched the thin stream of water gradually fill the glass, then he turned it off with a click, “No, this is only an issue for you. It’s never been an issue for me.”
After saying that, as if preparing for a debate, he drank the large glass of water in one go.
“That’s right, it’s my problem.” Fang Rong murmured to herself, then sighed and asked, “Xiao Xing, tell mom the truth. Do you like boys because you’ve been influenced by your mom?”
“What are you talking about?” Ye Xing was a little confused by her question.
“I’ve told you so many times to boil water before drinking it.” Fang Rong looked at the empty glass in his hand, stood up, walked to the water dispenser, and pressed the red switch. While the machine slowly started operating, she stood motionless with her back to Ye Xing and suddenly spoke again, “These past few months, I haven’t stopped reflecting on myself. I’ve clearly protected you so well since you were little, how could you have become like this when I wasn’t paying attention? Tell mom the truth, are you with boys because the family issues have hit you too hard and made your mentality so messed up?”
“No,” Ye Xing answered decisively.
“Then it must be because of me.”
“Mom, what are you talking about?”
The hot water in the dispenser was about to boil, making a gurgling sound, which was a little annoying and made the already cramped space even more oppressive.
Ye Xing’s heartbeat gradually quickened with the sound of the water, until finally, the indicator light changed color.
Fang Rong poured two cups of hot water and placed them on the coffee table, then sat down on the sofa nearby: “Our family has always been supported by your father. Before, I was always at home being a housewife and didn’t have a job, it seemed like I couldn’t do anything, I must have set a bad example for you, right? You usually don’t like to hang out with your classmates, let alone female ones. The only one who could have influenced you is me.”
“Don’t start thinking nonsense, okay?” Ye Xing was caught off guard by her words, and all the declarations he had prepared were nipped in the bud.
“Because of mom, you’re disappointed in the female gender, which is why you’ve lost interest.” Fang Rong stubbornly insisted on this point and kept talking.
Ye Xing stared blankly at her.
He had thought that when they finally sat down to talk about this issue, the worst that could happen was a big fight. But he hadn’t expected Fang Rong to not even give him the chance to argue, and instead take all the blame on herself.
So, had she really thought this all along?
The facts proved that the psychologist’s assumption that “she deeply resented being a housewife” was not unfounded. Even if Fang Rong hadn’t realized it or hadn’t shown it before, after so many things had overlapped, a clue finally emerged.
What was the cause and what was the effect no longer mattered. What was comforting was that now she was finally no longer avoiding the things she didn’t want to face and was having a frank and sincere talk with him.
She was no longer fluctuating anxiously between hysteria and repressed emotions, as she had been in the past.
Ye Xing sat down next to her and gently rested his head on Fang Rong’s shoulder: “Mom, before I answer your questions, can you answer one question for me first?”
“Okay,” Fang Rong responded, her voice a little hoarse.
“Do you think it’s shameful,” Ye Xing paused, “that your son is gay?”
Fang Rong was stunned, then sighed deeply: “I’ve looked up a lot of information these past few days…”
“I know.”
“I’ve also tried to understand and accept it, but it still feels strange. Though I’m not as resistant as I was at first… Anyway, Ye Xing, I don’t like you this way.”
Indeed, the money paid to the psychologist hadn’t been wasted. It seemed professional matters should be left to professionals.
From her previous statement of “You’re shameless, I’m ashamed for you” to her current “I don’t like you this way,” while the position might seem the same, there was a subtle change. It was a sign that Fang Rong might be swayed.
Ye Xing seized the opportunity, raised his head, and looked directly at Fang Rong. In the moonlight, his eyes were particularly bright.
“Besides confirming that I like boys, I haven’t changed at all. In fact, haven’t you seen that my grades are slowly getting better? From not even thinking about college before to now making an effort to achieve good results in the college entrance exam, and my ranking in the grade is also rising. With just one more step, I’ll be able to get into a good university and make you proud! Before I left you, I couldn’t even take care of myself, but look now, I can cook, wash clothes, and clean the house. Why don’t you see the good side of things?” Ye Xing abandoned the countless drafts he had prepared and poured out all his thoughts at this moment, but still felt that it wasn’t enough. So, in one go, he made a summary: “These are all the positive influences that person has brought me. You can say that it’s wrong for me to be in a relationship so young, but you shouldn’t say that it’s wrong for me to like him.”
This sentence might have been a challenge in the past, but now, he just wanted Fang Rong to know that this was a fact.
A real, solid fact.
Fang Rong wanted to say something, opened her mouth but didn’t speak. She picked up the still slightly hot water on the table, took a small sip, and let out a sigh after swallowing.
“Can’t you change it back?”
“I can’t change it.” Ye Xing said.
At this point, Ye Xing understood: Fang Rong hadn’t come to tell him to “correct his mistake,” but to give this issue a conclusion. To completely break down the Berlin Wall between mother and son, regardless of what had happened.
Or rather, Fang Rong had actually been trying to accept all of this. After all, if she had strongly disapproved of it, she likely wouldn’t have even bothered to look up information.
And she had also seen the changes in Ye Xing during this period.
Finally, after countless sighs, she said in a complaining tone, which could almost be considered a surrender: “Why did I give birth to such a bastard son like you!”
Ye Xing rubbed his nose and hugged her: “Mom, it’s my turn to answer you. I’m not disappointed in you, never have been! The impact you’ve had on my life is unparalleled. Since I was little, you’ve always been the woman I respect and admire the most. Many things aren’t so obvious, but that doesn’t mean we can ignore their existence. For example, my upbringing, my values, my lifestyle habits… All of these are from you! I know that our family has gone through so much change this past year, and you’ve carried so much that I can’t imagine. In the future, let’s face whatever happens together, okay? Finally, although I’ve emphasized this countless times, I still have to say it this time: I’m already an adult, and I’m stronger than you think.”
This speech completely shut Fang Rong up. It seemed Ye Xing understood all her worries and gave her a perfect answer.
“Mom, there’s one more thing I have to say.” Ye Xing rubbed his hand on her back, “I love you, so much, so much, so much!”
“Okay, okay.” Fang Rong pushed him away, rubbed her eyes while facing away from him, and stood up. “I also have one thing to say: being in a relationship so young is indeed wrong.”
“…”
“Go to sleep, I don’t want to hear you talk anymore.” Fang Rong walked into the bedroom and closed the door.
He slept more soundly than ever that night, and woke up before the alarm went off, feeling like his body had been injected with some kind of power, and was extremely excited.
He was just about to open WeChat to confess to Qi Guang.
Considering his stubborn image in front of his ex-boyfriend, as well as the principle of not casually messing with a top student during the special period before the college entrance exam, he could only send telepathic messages in his heart.
Qi Guang, you better stay there and not run away from me.
When he left the residential complex, it was almost dawn, but the temperature was still low. He zipped up his school uniform and walked forward with his neck hunched.
As he walked, he felt like something was wrong, as if someone was staring at him, making him uneasy.
So he raised his head.
Logically, at this time, the sky wasn’t completely bright yet. There shouldn’t be anyone around, let alone stray dogs…
Damn, there was actually someone by the tree.
He focused, thinking he was seeing things, and rubbed his eyes hard before opening them wide again.
Was he dreaming? Or had he been missing him so much that his image had materialized?
The person actually had Qi Guang’s face, and was running towards him with great speed!