TSIBAMS Chapter 107
by VolareThe winter vacation arrived as scheduled.
Qi Guang seemed to have experienced two breakups in just one month. This time, with some experience, he successfully avoided collapsing and ending up in the hospital.
But for some reason, he had visibly lost weight.
Fortunately, no one noticed—he hadn’t left his house for a week.
It wasn’t until Brother Xu heard that they were on winter vacation and realized that Qi Guang hadn’t shown up that he became suspicious. He started calling him, and as expected, the phone was turned off.
He immediately dropped what he was doing and rushed from 1984 to Qi Guang’s house. He banged on the door like he was catching an adulterer. When Qi Guang, with swollen eyes and hair that looked like a bird’s nest from not being cut for too long, opened the door, all of his anger instantly turned into heartache.
Good heavens, the last time Qi Guang had knocked on his door, their roles had been reversed.
Life is unpredictable and full of drama.
He raised his hand and gently patted Qi Guang on the shoulder, “Your reaction time is a little too long. You broke up last month, and this month you’re finally realizing you’re heartbroken.”
Qi Guang was wearing thin pajamas in a house without the air conditioning on. Like a puppet, he stood by the door, oblivious to the cold. It took a while for Brother Xu’s words to register. He stared at him blankly, and his voice was hoarse when he finally spoke, “What’s long?”
Brother Xu sighed, “Your hair is long.”
Qi Guang frowned and stood there.
“I think you should go back to bed,” Brother Xu said, realizing he hadn’t understood, pushing him inside with one hand and closing the door behind him, “You got out of bed without bringing your brain with you, you…”
He stopped mid-sentence, looking at the messy room, a mirror image of his own from the day before.
But although Qi Guang’s house was messy, it wasn’t dirty. Even though clothes and socks were everywhere, shoes were on top of the cabinets, and the kitchen sink was probably filled with a week’s worth of dishes, at least there wasn’t any trash on the floor or grease on the coffee table. The trash can, even though overflowing, was still working dutifully.
Even in his breakdown, this man was obsessively restrained!
Qi Guang pulled out two tissues from the coffee table, wiped his nose, and then went back into his bedroom without looking back.
Brother Xu checked his watch: 6 PM.
He had no idea what time zone this guy’s sleep schedule was in these days.
Not wanting to disturb Qi Guang anymore, he firmly stepped on the trash in the trash can a couple of times, tied up the garbage bag and put it by the door, then put a new bag in the trash can. After washing his hands, he started cleaning up the house.
Ten minutes later, probably having heard the noise, Qi Guang walked out of the room again.
Brother Xu was folding clothes. Looking at his detached expression, he suddenly felt a little guilty, stuttering, “I saw the room was a bit messy.”
Qi Guang maintained his original posture and expression, whether it was blank or restrained, he didn’t know.
After about thirty seconds of this standoff, he suddenly seemed to have woken up, and rushed over, agitatedly picking up the neatly folded pile of clothes from the sofa and tossing them everywhere, on the floor, the coffee table, and even a sock hanging on the TV stand.
Brother Xu was stunned, then stood up, “Are you fucking sick?”
“It’s pointless,” Qi Guang said impatiently.
“I’m wasting my breath!” Brother Xu’s temper flared, “What do you mean pointless, you give me an explanation Qi-genius! Are you blind? Can’t you see how messy the room is? Or are you trying some kind of performance art where everything is in the wrong place?”
“The wrong place?”
Brother Xu was confused by his question, “You’re really sick!”
“Clothes should be in the closet, shoes should be in the shoe cabinet, all those things should be nicely tucked away in the cabinets, and appearing anywhere else is against the natural order of things, right?”
Brother Xu finally understood what he was ranting about.
Normal clothes should be in the closet, and normal people should be like that too.
Rather than being heartbroken and losing interest in life, he was expressing his dissatisfaction with the rules of this world.
Qi-genius’s way of dealing with heartbreak wasn’t getting drunk and crying to friends, or posting heartbroken messages on social media, but triggering his obsessive-compulsive genes, indulging in some self-pitying double meaning?
“Is it that big of a deal?” Brother Xu grabbed a few stray items of clothing and threw them, “Come on, I’ll throw them with you, but listen to me, Qi Guang, don’t lose yourself over a breakup! You weren’t someone who cared about what other people thought, I despise you acting so indecisive!”
Qi Guang stood there loosely with his hands in his pajama pockets, neither ashamed nor angry.
Brother Xu’s temper vanished as quickly as it had appeared. He began to reason with him, “When we were young, I thought we were alike, no one to look after us, we could do whatever we wanted. Over the years, we’ve both grown and changed a lot, as for me, I’m already a greasy old man approaching thirty, I won’t talk about growing, but I will talk about you… although I’ve been used as a bad example by other people’s parents, I’m not really qualified to preach. Just one sentence, I very sincerely and urgently want to say to you – don’t forget your original intention.”
“You really suck at comforting people,” Qi Guang said.
“Do you still remember your hobbies or talents that people praised you for when you were young? By my age, if those hobbies don’t add value to life, they won’t be something people envy. People go through a process from being spiritually driven to being materially driven, and the pain you are going through right now is your wealth.”
Qi Guang was completely lost, “Seriously, if you’re not good at comforting, don’t force it.”
Brother Xu seemed to realize this too – he was trying to reason but couldn’t get to the point, spending so long setting up without getting anywhere. However, he was not discouraged. He cleared his throat and said sternly, “What are the agreed-upon rules? It’s to get married at my age to a woman with a good family background, a stable job, whether or not you love them doesn’t matter, saying otherwise would be a laughing stock. Then get urged to have kids. It’s best if there are no surprises or accidents in this life, just a smooth journey to the very end.”
“To see your whole life at 20 is quite boring. Might as well just die at 20,” Qi Guang scoffed.
“They will never experience such intense emotions as you, nor will they have such secret joys. Of course, correspondingly, they also wouldn’t have the feeling of being heartbroken. It’s not hard to find a suitable partner for marriage, if this one doesn’t work, the neighbor auntie will introduce another. We live in the same space, but we’re not on the same channel.” Brother Xu said.
Qi Guang was stunned, seeming to understand what he had been trying to say all this time.
Brother Xu raised an eyebrow, “That’s why I said, all this pain is your wealth. I don’t want you to become boring like the masses, with your head full of work and making money, or worrying about finding someone to just get by with, while not caring about your inner universe. I hope you stay forever this youth.”
Qi Guang sighed and then turned his head away.
“Brother Xu, although you’re not good at reasoning, to be fair, you’re a lot more enlightened and interesting than most people your age.”
“Damn it, I’m exhausted. I’m paying the price for not being educated. It’s so hard to reason!” Brother Xu exaggeratedly gasped for breath, “Let’s go get a haircut, it’s almost New Year, others will set off firecrackers to scare away the monster, your look is probably more effective than firecrackers.”
An hour later, in Brother Xu’s car.
“Of course I have the best plan, wait for it, we’ll be there in ten minutes… You don’t know that this kid was just having a fit and wanted to shave his head, luckily I stopped him… Little Ma’s here? No big deal, I’ll just introduce you…”
Brother Xu had one hand on the steering wheel, the other holding a cigarette, and was chatting on the phone with Bai Shu, ignoring everyone else, for a long time. Finally, he realized there was a living person in the passenger seat. He turned to look at Qi Guang, “You know, ever since Shuai Xiaoyun came back to the store, business has been getting better.”
“Looks like she’s made good progress in school in half a semester.”
“Tsk, she has a solid fan base, progress is another thing entirely.”
After a brief conversation with Qi Guang, he turned back to chatting with Bai Shu on the phone, ignoring everything around him. Qi Guang simply reclined his seat all the way back and lay down comfortably.
It wasn’t until they were almost at their destination that Brother Xu reluctantly hung up the phone. Qi Guang glanced at him and suddenly said, “Sometimes I’m really envious of you and Bai Shu, no worries, living however you want.”
“Don’t go around envying this and that, then isolate yourself and feel sorry for yourself!” Brother Xu retorted, “What’s different about you compared to us?”
Qi Guang ignored his remark and said to himself, “But you’re pretending to be carefree. Everyday you’re worrying about this and that, secretly, while Bai Shu seems to have everything sorted out, but he is more carefree than anyone.”
Brother Xu didn’t argue, “What’s there to envy, it’s nice to be able to take care of yourself, but when you are in trouble, there’s no one to rely on.”
Qi Guang knew what he was talking about. Although Brother Xu and Bai Shu had finally taken the step of being together, for all those years, they had been alone. They seemed free and unrestrained, but they just didn’t say that they wanted to “have someone to depend on” or “be needed.”
He knew very well that as long as there was one person left at home, the meaning of life was different. When it was just him and his grandfather, he never felt he lacked warmth and love. But later, when he was alone in the house, he felt like the whole world had nothing to do with him.
“Yeah,” He said noncommittally, “That’s why I don’t want to change Ye Xing.”