TSIBAMS Chapter 101
by VolareThe three-wheeled vehicle rattled along, with no doors, letting large gusts of wind rush in unchecked.
Qi Guang shrank his neck.
“Auntie, I don’t mean to offend you,” he paused, “but isn’t what you’re saying a bit selfish?”
“You’re holding him back, not letting him come back, isn’t that selfish?” Fang Rong retorted.
“I’m not holding him back.” Qi Guang said each word clearly.
A cold laugh came from the other end of the phone, “Alright, I hope you mean what you say. After he comes back today, I don’t want to see you having any contact with him.”
“He’s going back today?” Qi Guang gripped his phone, thinking he had misheard.
“Looks like he didn’t tell you,” Fang Rong seemed somewhat smug, “Don’t be surprised. When I was a teenager, I was as naive as you, thinking love alone could conquer anything. But in reality, love at this age is worthless. You’re a good kid. I hope you can get back on track and let my Ye Xing get back on track too.”
Her good manners made her words sound very tactful, but the accumulated resentment made her unable to resist using these tactful phrases to suppress and even hurt this innocent young man.
Your feelings are worthless, even against public morals and customs.
I hope you get back on the right path.
I hope you’ll let go of my child.
Qi Guang understood, but he didn’t intend to give up. If there was anything more convincing than “reason,” it was sincerity.
He said seriously, “Auntie, since you know everything, I won’t hide it anymore. I like Ye Xing, very much. He likes me a lot too. We’ve never thought our feelings are worthless. On the contrary, we are both working hard to become better people because of each other!”
“You’re both becoming better people, you both have bright futures, so he should forget who raised him?” As if something had triggered her, Fang Rong became increasingly agitated, “His father went to jail, leaving us with a pile of debts. I’ve been running around for so long, and finally, I’ve settled down again, but there’s only me left at home! This family is already broken! One is in jail, and the other is in that godforsaken place, refusing to come back! Am I selfish? Who am I working so hard for? Ye Xing has been spoiled by you! If I hadn’t found out about my stomach cancer, he wouldn’t even answer my calls!”
“Auntie, don’t get agitated.” Qi Guang was stunned. He had thought that saying that would at least leave room for discussion, but the result was the opposite of what he expected.
“You’ll never understand a mother’s despair. First, her child abandons her, and second, her child is gay.” Fang Rong’s tone was sorrowful, her voice gradually choking with tears, “Qi Guang, I don’t want to blame my misfortune on a child like you, but it’s indeed you who made my child take both these paths!”
She always cries.
For some reason, Ye Xing’s words flashed in Qi Guang’s mind.
Fang Rong’s tearful voice and Ye Xing’s words intertwined in his ears. Qi Guang felt as if he had fallen into an ice cellar, and his whole body went cold.
How great would it be if she were always aggressive?
At least it wouldn’t make him feel inexplicably guilty and empathetic now.
But he had become a person with a strong ability to empathize because of the changes in his family these past two years, especially her words, “You’ll never understand a mother’s despair,” like a sharp knife.
He knew very well what his weak spot was, and now that knife was stuck right in that spot.
He finally understood the decision Bai Shu made in desperation, because sometimes, while you seem to have a choice, every choice hides an abyss.
Bai Shu jumped into the abyss without a choice.
Then, what about him?
Qi Guang jumped out of the three-wheeled vehicle and turned to walk towards his home.
He didn’t want his body to gradually become numb from the bumpy ride of the three-wheeled vehicle. At this time, even a simple act like walking could make him feel better. At least, psychologically, it could create a sense of accomplishment that he still had control of his body.
This sense of accomplishment was something that God had always been stingy in bestowing during his past episodes.
At least, he could now prove that he was still normal.
Qi Guang took deep breaths of air. After he regained his composure, he took out his phone and quickly found a repeated phone number in his missed calls.
When he called, it was answered quickly.
“Happy New Year, it’s rare for you to bother calling me.” Qi Jingsheng’s voice came from the other end of the phone.
Qi Guang clearly wasn’t in the mood for pleasantries. He asked coldly, “What good thing have you done now?”
“Just donated two million to a charity foundation for children with congenital heart disease, but I guess you wouldn’t care about such a good deed. Let me think…” Qi Jingsheng seemed to be in a good mood and even thought for a while seriously, “Oh, right, I also helped clear up the debts of your little boyfriend’s family, yes, it’s indeed a good deed, but unfortunately, it was rejected.”
Sure enough.
Qi Guang couldn’t help but grip his phone tighter, “You’re so kind? You must have gone to talk to his parents, thinking you could work together to break us up, but they didn’t accept your so-called good deed.”
Qi Jingsheng didn’t seem surprised at his question, but rather a bit smug, “Really? Seeing how agitated you are, it’s a win-win situation anyway. Not a loss.”
“Are you deliberately trying to disgust me?” Qi Guang snorted.
“No, I’m here to ask you to come home.” Qi Jingsheng said, “I hope you understand that no matter how self-righteous you kids are during your adolescence, in our eyes, you’re just noisy little ants. Don’t make trouble. You see, with just a flick of my finger, your whole life can be messed up. What ability do you have to go against me? But as long as you come home, I can give you whatever you want.”
It was still this unashamed, prideful confidence and disgusting superior attitude.
Besides feeling contemptuous, Qi Guang even felt a little sorry for him. Someone who had never known what family love was would try to test people with this kind of coercion, pushing people further and further away, without ever knowing how to regret it.
“Ask me to go back? Let me think, is Mr. Qi worried that there’s no one to take over the family business when he gets older? After all, Shanshan is not a family member, and your child with your mistress is too young. Tsk, that’s really sad. What’s the point of earning so much money when you can’t trust anyone by your side? You can only reluctantly try to bring me back based on our blood relationship.” Qi Guang said.
“Say whatever you want. Even if you never realize that everything I do is for your own good, at least, I’ve never harmed you. You shouldn’t be treating me like this.”
Never harmed you?
Was that something to be proud of?
Or was this sentence indirectly admitting that he had harmed others, and those others had already said goodbye to this world?
The more Qi Guang thought about it, the angrier he became. He roared into the phone, “Yes, you haven’t harmed me, you’ve only been disgustingly trying to make me miserable! Can you just pretend that this son of yours is dead? Please, don’t come out every now and then to piss me off! I truly, truly hate everything you’ve done, and I hate you as a person even more!”
Qi Guang pushed the door open when his eyes were no longer so red.
Ye Xing and he, separated by an open suitcase, stared at each other.
Even though he had mentally prepared himself countless times before entering, he was still shocked when he saw this. Qi Guang tilted his head, pretending to be calm, and said, “Need help packing?”
“Qi Guang,” Ye Xing didn’t expect him to come back without a word of greeting. All the surprise from a moment ago had turned into tension, “Don’t be angry, I just decided this suddenly. Can you at least let me explain?”
“I know, Auntie’s sick. You should go back and take good care of her. Say hello to her for me.” Qi Guang changed his shoes and walked towards the bathroom, turning his head back before entering, “No, better not mention me.”
“Li Ke told you?” Ye Xing breathed a sigh of relief, “Good, I was wondering how to tell you about this. It’s good that you’re not angry.”
When Qi Guang came out of the bathroom, he had Ye Xing’s toothbrush and towel in his hands. He raised his chin, “Don’t forget these. If you leave anything behind at my place, I won’t be responsible for mailing them to you.”
Ye Xing glanced at it.
“Let’s not bring these then.”
“Then I’ll throw them away.” Qi Guang said.
Ye Xing raised his head, looking at him in disbelief, “Qi Guang? What’s wrong with you?”
“Go back and take care of Auntie. Also, don’t fall behind on your studies,” Qi Guang didn’t meet his eyes, turning around and entering the bedroom. When he came out, he had a few notebooks in his hand, which he threw into the suitcase, “I made these notes especially for you. It’s useless to keep them here. You should take them.”
“Are you angry?” Ye Xing grabbed his hand, looking directly at him.
He then noticed that Qi Guang’s eyes were a bit red, but the expression on his face was rejecting him.
“No.” Qi Guang shook off his hand.
Ye Xing approached him and, catching him off guard, kissed him on the cheek. When he tried to move towards his mouth, Qi Guang turned his face away.
This action hurt Ye Xing a bit, “My mother is sick, I have to go back to accompany her for surgery and take care of her. If it were you, you would go, right? Why do you look like… like we’re breaking up?”
“Ye Xing, don’t lie to yourself, and don’t try to lie to me. You know you won’t be back.” Qi Guang said.
“I do know that my mom won’t let me come back, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to break up with you!”
Ye Xing tried to kiss him again, but he avoided it, which annoyed Ye Xing. He simply pinned him against the wall.
Qi Guang pressed his nose against his, looking straight at him, “You’re wrong, I’m breaking up with you. Why do you think I would wait for you?”
Ye Xing couldn’t believe what he was hearing. His eyes instantly turned red. He bit Qi Guang’s lip and released it, his voice having an almost imperceptible tremor, “Qi Guang, what’s wrong with you today?”
“When we are together, it’s just two independent individuals attracting each other. We’ll be happy as long as we can, and when we’re not happy, no one will hold anyone back. It’s that simple.” Qi Guang said.
“What do you mean ‘as long as we can be happy’? Stop pretending to be profound with me.” After saying that, Ye Xing forcefully kissed him, and even though the other was desperately resisting, it only made him more determined.
Soon, a taste of blood came from their mouths.
Ye Xing released him.
Qi Guang felt a rush of heat throughout his body, took off his coat and threw it on the sofa, keeping a safe distance from Ye Xing. No one spoke for a long time in the large living room.
When he felt the chill, Qi Guang took the remote control from the cabinet and turned on the air conditioner. The old air conditioner started working with a rumble, instantly breaking the deathly silence.
Qi Guang’s tone was calm, “Or rather, in the beginning, we were just two lost people comforting each other. Now you can go back to a warm home, and I won’t hold you back.”
“Do you know what the hell you’re saying?” The feeling of punching cotton made Ye Xing furious, “If you’re angry, take it out on me! Don’t make up a bunch of accusations to put on me! If it doesn’t make you feel better, we can just fight!”
Qi Guang lowered his head, took the Buddhist beads off his wrist, and stuffed them into Ye Xing’s pocket, “You’ve got all your things. You can go now.”
Along with a deafening slam of the door, Qi Guang seemed to hear the sound of something collapsing in his heart.
He returned to the bedroom, opened the bedside table drawer, and took out a box of pills from a pile of tangled discarded charging cables.