MNL Chapter 113

Chapter 113: Defeated. He no longer wished to be awake.

That night, Zhou Jinchen and Xia Zhixing raced cars at the racetrack all night. Eventually, Xia Zhixing was the first to give up, waving his hand and saying he wanted to go back to sleep. Zhou Jinchen narrowed his eyes and teased, “Is that all you’ve got?”

Xia Zhixing clicked his tongue and said, “I have to pick up Xu Jing later. Do you think I’m as free as you?”

Zhou Jinchen said, “No need to go.”

Xia Zhixing: “?”

Zhou Jinchen said lazily, “If nothing else goes wrong, he should already be in bed.”

Xia Zhixing’s expression instantly changed, and he frowned, “What did you say?”

“The literal meaning. You’re an adult; do I need to translate it for you?”

Zhou Jinchen’s tone of indifference, mixed with a hint of mockery, made Xia Zhixing instantly furious.

“Stop talking nonsense. Do you think Xu Jing is as horny as you?”

“Horny?” Zhou Jinchen laughed. “Why am I horny?”

Xia Zhixing said with a disgusted tone, “If you’re not horny, why would you go to nightclubs to find men?”

Zhou Jinchen wasn’t angry, nodding in agreement. “That makes sense.”

Xia Zhixing had always been expressive, and his emotions of revulsion and contempt were impossible to hide. Zhou Jinchen didn’t care, instead walking forward and gently hooking Xia Zhixing’s collar, leaning close to his ear and saying ambiguously, “How about we play around?”

Xia Zhixing immediately exploded. “Play with your mom!”

Zhou Jinchen readily agreed. “My mom wouldn’t be interested in you. Besides, I’m more fun to play with. Want to try?”

Xia Zhixing: “…”

Why hadn’t he crashed into this guy while racing earlier?

Zhou Jinchen yawned and said, “Alright, I won’t tease you anymore. Let me tell you something serious. Do you really like Xu Jing that much?”

Xia Zhixing said unhappily, “None of your business.”

“Seeing as you kept me company all night, I’ll give you a piece of advice. Give up early. You and Xu Jing aren’t suitable, and you two are fundamentally impossible.”

Xia Zhixing was hit where it hurt, and he was clearly even more upset. “What do you mean ‘kept you company’? It’s clearly because I was bored. Don’t flatter yourself. And why do you say he and I aren’t suitable? Why are we impossible?”

“Stubborn as a mule.” Zhou Jinchen turned and walked toward his car, saying indifferently, “I’ve said what I needed to say. Whether you listen is up to you.”

“Feelings can’t be forced. Unilateral devotion will only lead to mutual harm. Think carefully, handsome boy.”

Watching Zhou Jinchen’s departing back, Xia Zhixing stood there for a long time until the lights of the racetrack were turned off. He frowned, slowly lowered his head, and a hint of confusion flashed in his eyes.

·

The day Jiang Pei returned to China, Zhou Jinchen stayed at Shen Yan’s company for an entire afternoon.

“Are you saying that on a romantic rainy night, you went to your sister-in-law’s house for dinner, even wore your sister-in-law’s clothes, but you didn’t even hold hands or kiss, and you went home before nine o’clock?”

Shen Yan was looking down, signing documents, and perfunctorily replied without looking up, “Yeah.”

“…” Zhou Jinchen scrutinized Shen Yan from head to toe with a judging gaze, and suspiciously said, “Do you really have a problem down there?”

Shen Yan didn’t answer, clearly not bothering to respond to him.

Zhou Jinchen walked to Shen Yan’s side, lowering his voice. “Then why didn’t you react?”

Shen Yan finally glanced at Zhou Jinchen and said, “How do you know I didn’t?”

After going back that night, he accidentally dirtied those clothes.

And took a cold shower all night.

“If you keep chasing her like this, you won’t even get a chance at being her third husband.” Zhou Jinchen said unkindly.

Shen Yan replied calmly, “I have my own plans. Now that you’re back in the country, keep a close eye on Lin Wei. You don’t need to worry about anything else.”

“Heh, it’s like I’m eager to worry about your affairs.” Zhou Jinchen picked up his coat and was about to leave the office when the person behind him called out to him again.

“What?”

“Help me pick someone up.”

“You really are using me like a servant? Damn it, forget it.” Zhou Jinchen crossed his arms, striking a pose of great righteousness. “I can’t be bothered to argue with you. Male or female? Good-looking?”

Shen Yan: “Yeah.”

Zhou Jinchen: “…”

Couldn’t he tell he was more concerned about the gender?

However, Zhou Jinchen never expected that the person he was picking up at the airport would actually be Aiden, the female singer who was now popular all over the country. Although he never paid attention to the entertainment industry and had no interest in it, he had heard many of Aiden’s albums, including those from the previously disbanded Chrysalis Band.

And he also didn’t expect that the high-cold goddess who seemed unapproachable on the surface would be like this in private.

After listening to Shen Yan’s dismal record of chasing after someone all these days, Jiang Pei’s beautiful eyebrows were tightly knitted together, and her reaction was even greater than Zhou Jinchen’s.

“This won’t work.” Jiang Pei concluded.

“Of course it won’t work. I’m still waiting to drink their wedding wine! It’s really the eunuch worrying more than the emperor.”

Jiang Pei thought for a moment and said seriously, “How about slipping them some drugs?”

Zhou Jinchen nearly stepped on the accelerator instead of the brakes. “…Huh?”

“Get them both drunk, then slip them some drugs, and then lock them in the same room.” Jiang Pei narrowed her eyes, her expression gradually becoming excited.

The corners of Zhou Jinchen’s mouth twitched. Leaving aside the fact that these words could actually come out of the mouth of an international superstar, he hadn’t thought of that?

“And then put up a camera?”

Jiang Pei blinked her beautiful eyes and asked very seriously, “Is that okay?”

“…It doesn’t seem to work. If Shen Yan finds out, he’ll try everything to take back my shares and hunt me down all over the world.”

“Okay.” Jiang Pei said somewhat regretfully, “There’s also the fact that Xu Jing can’t drink alcohol. It might turn a love scene into a crime scene.”

Zhou Jinchen’s lips curled up and he said, “That’s not a problem. First love is the hardest to forget. As long as one of them is drunk, how awake can the other be?”

“That makes sense.” Jiang Pei suddenly realized, and then her gossiping eyes sized Zhou Jinchen up and down for a few seconds, curiously saying, “Handsome, are you too?”

“Just call me Jinchen.” Zhou Jinchen said with a smile, “What do you think? Big star.”

Jiang Pei firmly believed in her sixth sense and said enthusiastically, “I’ve met quite a few people while studying abroad these years. Do you want me to introduce you to someone?”

Zhou Jinchen thought for a moment and said obligingly, “Sure, there’s actually someone I like.”

“Who?”

“Ling Yan, the keyboardist from your old band.”

Jiang Pei was stunned and laughed very openly.

Zhou Jinchen was a little strange. “What’s wrong?”

Jiang Pei tried her best to control the corners of her mouth from rising, and cleared her throat. “That’s probably not going to work, because that’s my boyfriend.”

“…”

Too hasty.

Zhou Jinchen coughed dryly twice and said somewhat awkwardly, “Sorry, I didn’t know.”

“It’s okay, he definitely looks like he appeals to everyone.”

The car was quiet for a while, and when they looked at each other, they couldn’t help but laugh again.

That night, besides Ling Yan, who had something to do abroad and couldn’t come back, Jiang Pei called all the previous members of Chrysalis Band, with one purpose: to get Shen Yan drunk.

Although Shen Yan’s alcohol tolerance was not bad, he couldn’t stand so many people surrounding him and drinking. In addition, Jiang Pei and Zhou Jinchen kept fanning the flames, one mentioning the four years that Xu Jing and Xia Zhixing spent together day and night, and the other talking about the failed love stories around them that were missed because of regrets.

By the end, Shen Yan didn’t even need DINO and the others to pour. He started pouring wine himself without even blinking an eye.

Three hours later, he completely passed out on the table.

At that time, Xu Jing had just finished showering and was preparing to go to bed when he received a call from Zhou Jinchen.

“Well, Shen Yan’s drunk and he’s refusing to leave. I have something to do. If you don’t come pick him up, I’m going to throw him on the street to fend for himself.”

After giving an address, Zhou Jinchen hung up the phone.

Xu Jing: “…”

Although he thought it was likely a joke, Xu Jing didn’t dare joke about Shen Yan’s safety. He put on some clothes and went out, rushing to the place, only to find that Zhou Jinchen had really thrown Shen Yan outside.

“…?”

He just threw him here? Are these two really not enemies?

Shen Yan looked completely unconscious at the moment. He could only say that Zhou Jinchen still had some conscience, knowing to throw him in a corner instead of a street with people coming and going, otherwise it would definitely be the headline news tomorrow.

Looking at the person leaning against the corner, drunk as mud, Xu Jing sighed and walked forward to carry him on his back.

As a result, he almost fell.

He was so heavy that Xu Jing thought he was carrying a mountain.

After finally moving Shen Yan to the back seat of the car, Xu Jing, who was still wearing a down jacket, was sweating profusely. He sat in the car, panting, and called Zhou Jinchen.

“You really threw him outside?”

Hearing the cold question, Zhou Jinchen laughed on the other end of the phone. “What’s wrong? Are you worried about him? Shen Yan has a very strong vitality, don’t worry.”

He still couldn’t directly throw a person who was drunk and had already lost consciousness on the street, especially since Shen Yan’s appearance was so conspicuous. The more Xu Jing thought about it, the more he felt that Zhou Jinchen was unreliable.

“By the way, he needs to take medicine. Remember to send him home. I’ll send you the address later.”

After saying that, Zhou Jinchen hung up the phone in a hurry, looking like he was really busy.

Xu Jing frowned. He knew it. Shen Yan was indeed hiding something.

The person lying in the back seat of the car seemed to think it was a bit noisy and turned over again. Xu Jing looked in the rearview mirror. Shen Yan buried his face in his arm, his palms tightly clenched into fists. This tall man was now curled up like a baby.

When he was studying psychology, he happened to read a discussion about this. Sleeping posture can largely reflect a person’s personality traits.

And Shen Yan’s reaction was obviously a lack of security.

Xu Jing’s eyes were filled with complex emotions. He just watched quietly for a long time until Zhou Jinchen sent the address.

The sound of a car starting was heard on the street. Watching the black car drive away, two people walked out of the corner.

Zhou Jinchen rubbed his chin and said, “Looks like he drank a little too much.”

Jiang Pei clicked her tongue and said, “Who told you to provoke him so much? Now it’s good, he’s really going to sleep over.”

Zhou Jinchen coughed softly. “Miscalculation, miscalculation. Next time I’ll say something else.”

“Do you think there will be a next time?” Jiang Pei shook her head and said, “Forget it, let’s see their own fate.”

The two of them drank a lot today and called a driver to take them home.

And at this moment, no one noticed that in another dark corner, there was a man with a ferocious expression staring at everything, his eyes filled with suppressed hatred.

Shen Yan’s place was a bit far from the city center. The more Xu Jing drove, the more he felt that something was wrong, because in recent years many streets had also been renamed, including the previous Qing’an Street, which had now been changed to Huaitang Road. So when he arrived, Xu Jing realized that Shen Yan’s place was near the Qingcheng Apartment where they used to rent.

Looking at the familiar and unfamiliar scenes around him, Xu Jing felt an indescribable emotion in his heart.

A few more vague murmurs were heard in the car. Shen Yan looked a little uncomfortable. Xu Jing quickly got out of the car and walked to the back seat to help him up.

Shen Yan took a nap, and his body was shaken again. At this moment, he seemed to have regained consciousness and opened his eyes slightly.

The sudden eye contact made Xu Jing’s brain go blank.

He never expected that Shen Yan would wake up at this time, and the distance between the two was so close that they were almost touching.

Xu Jing took a step back, his voice a bit hesitant, “Awake?”

Shen Yan didn’t speak, staring blankly at Xu Jing for a while before his eyelids gradually drooped. Because he couldn’t sit still, he moved little by little until he leaned his head on Xu Jing’s shoulder.

Xu Jing didn’t move.

The back seat was filled with Shen Yan’s scent, and his earlobe was gently brushed by Shen Yan’s hair, which was a little itchy.

After a long while, Xu Jing asked very softly, “Shen Yan, are you drunk?”

Shen Yan didn’t answer, just leaned on him quietly, his eyes half-closed, not knowing what he was thinking.

Thinking that Shen Yan still had to take medicine, Xu Jing felt that this wouldn’t work, so he moved his body and planned to carry Shen Yan home again. The silent person spoke at this moment.

His deep, muffled voice sounded a bit cold, “Why should I tell you?”

“…”

Xu Jing was stunned by the question. He thought about it but couldn’t come up with an answer. He said somewhat helplessly, “Then don’t tell me.”

“Then I insist on telling you, I’m not drunk.”

Xu Jing: “…”

Now he could be sure.

“Give me your hand, I’ll carry you home.”

After the words fell, Shen Yan directly retracted his hand into his sleeve, as if Xu Jing wouldn’t know where his hand was that way.

Xu Jing stared at it for two seconds, the corner of his mouth curving up, and couldn’t help but laugh.

“What are you laughing at?” Shen Yan frowned.

“Not laughing.” Xu Jing replied quickly.

“I clearly heard you laughing, you’re lying to me again.”

Xu Jing never thought that he would see this kind of Shen Yan one day. When he was being unreasonable, he was even more powerful than two-year-old Xu Cheng.

At the same time as the surprise, he also felt an inexplicable sourness in his heart.

“Why is it again?”

Xu Jing began to patiently coax this twenty-five-year-old child.

But Shen Yan didn’t speak, just his emotions seemed to become very low.

“Hmm?” Xu Jing lowered his head and said very gently, “Tell me, when have I lied to you?”

Shen Yan put down his last line of defense in this coaxing tone.

The voice he answered with was very light, very hoarse.

“You said you would always love me, and you said you would give me a home.” Shen Yan’s voice paused, turned his head, “You forgot.”

It was clearly not a blaming tone, but it made Xu Jing feel that he had made an unforgivable mistake. This kind of Shen Yan pinched the softest place in his heart, so all the disguised illusions turned into a weakness at this moment, and were defeated with one blow.

“I didn’t forget.” Xu Jing turned Shen Yan’s body, looked at those slightly red eyes, and repeated in a low voice, “I have never forgotten.”

Shen Yan’s lips moved. Even in an unconscious state, he realized that he couldn’t say any more at this moment, so he gently pushed Xu Jing away, enduring the nausea in his stomach and running out of the car.

Xu Jing quickly followed.

The influence of alcohol was still too great. Shen Yan staggered home, and Xu Jing quickly caught up. At this time, the things in his stomach began to surge out, and Shen Yan couldn’t care about anything else. After opening the door, he rushed directly into the bathroom to vomit violently.

Shen Yan vomited until the sky was dark and the earth was dark. Xu Jing patted Shen Yan’s back while comforting Zhou Jinchen’s ancestors for eighteen generations.

Afterwards, Xu Jing helped Shen Yan to the sofa and turned to walk into the kitchen. He originally thought that a person like Shen Yan who could cook should have complete kitchen equipment and ingredients, but he didn’t expect it to be empty, even more pitiful than his home.

Fortunately, there were still the most basic things. Xu Jing boiled a pot of hot water. Because he was worried, he came out again.

Shen Yan was lying on the sofa, he took off his coat himself, and unbuttoned several buttons of his shirt. Perhaps he couldn’t stand the smell on his body, he frowned and looked very uncomfortable.

Xu Jing entered the bedroom, opened the closet and found that it was full of uniform black, white and gray suits. There were pajamas folded in the mezzanine. As soon as he took them out, other things also fell down. He caught them quickly. When he looked, he found it was a hat and scarf.

Looking at the logos on it, Xu Jing’s eyes narrowed slightly.

This was what Qin Xin bought for them in the winter of their second year of high school. At that time, he disliked wearing it because it was too stupid. Later, he didn’t know where to put it, but Shen Yan had kept it until now.

For six years, it had been preserved as if it were new.

Xu Jing put the hat and scarf in his hand back in a daze. Before leaving the bedroom, the two pills on the bedside table made him stop again.

Some kind of intuition told Xu Jing that this was not an ordinary medicine. He walked to the bedside table and squatted down, opening the drawer with a tight breath. When he saw the medicine inside, his brain was hit by something, buzzing.

Countless medicines occupied the entire drawer, most of which had been opened, but Xu Jing would never forget some of them in his life.

Quetiapine, Sertraline, Lamotrigine…

How is that possible?

Xu Jing’s face was pale, and the hand holding the medicine trembled uncontrollably.

How could Shen Yan also have depression and bipolar disorder, and judging from the dosage and type, it was far more serious than he was back then.

The drawer was turned upside down, and more and more sleeping pills and antipsychotic drugs, as well as needles of different thicknesses, were exposed in front of him. Xu Jing’s brain was clear and collapsed, thinking that these were definitely not sequelae left by the surgery.

What exactly has Shen Yan experienced these years.

When changing clothes, Shen Yan was obviously a little defensive, opening his eyes several times to see who was beside him. Although the scars left by boxing and surgery that year were almost healed, you could still see traces if you looked closely. After changing his clothes, Xu Jing fed Shen Yan some hot water and sat on the sofa again, looking around in a trance.

Like before, Shen Yan’s place was still so empty, giving him the feeling that he would leave at any time. The difference was that he didn’t even plant potted plants now. All the furniture was black and white. The entire room was like a colorless black and white painting, unable to find any trace of life.

At most, this could be considered a place to shelter from the wind and rain, and had nothing to do with the word “home”.

Xu Jing also thought of what Shen Yan said in the car just now, those emotions that were only vented after getting drunk, Shen Yan hid them too deeply, but he still didn’t question with a blaming tone, but said that he had forgotten the promise of the year with forbearance, unwillingness, and restraint. This behavior was more like a child lacking security facing an adult’s broken promise, because they were afraid of being abandoned, they could only resist in a low voice.

Seeing Shen Yan turning over with some difficulty, Xu Jing got up. After hesitating between waking Shen Yan up and carrying him directly, but possibly causing Shen Yan to suffer a concussion, he chose the former.

Shen Yan frowned and said in a conditioned reflex, “Don’t touch me.”

Xu Jing lowered his body and said in a low voice, “It’s me, is it okay?”

Through the gap between his arms, Shen Yan opened his eyes hazily. After recognizing that it was Xu Jing, he closed them again.

“Okay.” He said.

“Go to bed and sleep.”

After Xu Jing helped Shen Yan up, he went to get a glass of water, but as a result, Shen Yan fell down again as if he had no bones to support him.

“…”

Xu Jing sighed and used the tone of coaxing a child again, saying, “It’s uncomfortable here, go to bed and sleep.”

Shen Yan turned his back to Xu Jing, his voice muffled, “No, you’ll leave when I go.”

He really couldn’t do anything with a drunk, especially one who could still make requests.

Xu Jing said helplessly, “I won’t leave.”

Shen Yan closed his eyes halfway, his voice sounding a little sad, “I don’t believe it, you always let me go.”

“Okay, it’s all my fault, I’ll apologize to you, and then promise you that I definitely won’t leave tonight, okay?”

After hearing this, Shen Yan pondered for a while. Although his brain nerves must have been knotted now, his expression was very serious, and it really looked like he was considering the feasibility of this condition.

In the end, the drunk sat up, raised his eyes, saw Xu Jing pulling the corners of his mouth at him, then slowly lowered his eyes and acquiesced.

Putting aside everything else, Shen Yan’s muscles were really not trained in vain. Xu Jing felt that half of his body was about to be crushed by him. He finally got him to the bed, took off his clothes and covered him with a quilt. After a series of tidying up, he wanted to drink a glass of water, but before he could stand up, he was pulled back by the person lying down.

“Don’t go.”

He didn’t even open his eyes, but he sensed that he was about to leave just by the sound. After so many years, he was still so alert when he slept.

Xu Jing glanced at the medicine on the bedside table again, and finally didn’t go to pour water, letting the person behind him hug him motionlessly.

Shen Yan held Xu Jing’s palm with one hand, and the other hand wrapped around his waist. As if he didn’t feel close enough, he used a little more force on his hand until he completely hugged him in his arms, and then called out as if confirming, “Xu Jing.”

The hot and humid breath fell little by little on the back of his neck. Xu Jing felt a little itchy, but he didn’t break free.

“Yeah, I’m here.”

Dense kisses moved little by little from the neck to the earlobe. Xu Jing’s body shrank. At this moment, he heard the sound of his heart beating, so fast that it almost rushed out of his chest.

After a long time, Xu Jing heard a sentence coming from his ear.

“I love you.”

But Shen Yan’s body was clearly trembling, as if some kind of emotion finally exploded uncontrollably. Then, a barely audible sob suddenly came from his ear, straight into his heart.

He also heard Shen Yan say in collapse, “I’m going crazy.”

Some kind of liquid fell silently, sliding down his face all the way, flowing into his lips, hot and salty.

“Can you not fall in love with someone else.”

“Don’t leave me.”

“Don’t go…”

The voice coming from his ear became more and more hoarse, more and more blurred. Xu Jing closed his eyes, letting the tears slide down, letting the person behind him hug him tightly.

Until a burst of unsteady breathing came.

Xu Jing turned around slightly, stretched out his hand with red eyes, and traced Shen Yan’s outline little by little from his brow bone, nose, lips…

He kissed Shen Yan’s forehead, and kissed his eyes.

He touched his fragile eyelashes.

At the moment when the eyelashes trembled slightly, Xu Jing thought of his defeat, he finally fell into this dream.

And this time, he no longer wanted to be awake.