MCDWTBS Chapter 69

Chapter 69: Is That Fear?

“And today I stand here, before my comrades, not because the male insectoid who marked me ordered me to do so, nor because of the male insectoid families behind me, whose interests are inextricably linked to those of the Fourth Army. But because I have never stopped cherishing this place, even when my former mentor, my close subordinates, and countless colleagues lost their lives on the battlefield, even when I myself faced countless perilous situations. I miss this place as much as I miss my own soul. I yearn to fight alongside you, I yearn to fulfill the promise I never voiced to Marshal Ax—that I will guard the army with my life, guard my comrades.”

“I sincerely request your answer. Are you willing to accept me and allow me to once again become your leader? I want to know if you still, like I did back then, ask yourselves in the dead of night what female insectoids are fighting for. Is it for the Mother Goddess, for the male insectoids of the church who issue orders, for the nobles who are overflowing with wealth and treasures plundered through war, for the sake of exchanging military exploits for being assigned to a male insectoid one day, or for your comrades?”

After these words were spoken, the drill ground was so quiet that a pin could be heard dropping. Edwin’s expression seemed unchanged, but Serra, who knew him well, knew that his male parent was at a loss for words.

He knew the occasion was inappropriate, but his heart still melted into a puddle for Edwin. He could imagine how long Edwin had prepared for this speech in private. He could even picture in his mind the taciturn black-haired female insectoid curled up in the medical treatment facility, deliberately using his body to block the light from the wristband network, quietly pondering his words and preparing his draft.

Edwin’s speech did indeed exceed Serra’s expectations. He could easily tell that Edwin had never mentioned this conversation to him before today, perhaps because he himself was uncertain of its feasibility, or perhaps…

Serra sincerely hoped that it wasn’t because Edwin didn’t trust him enough. Admittedly, Edwin’s publicly blasphemous remarks would damage Serra’s image as a male insectoid. No male insectoid would willingly let his female insectoid come out and show his face, let alone utter heretical remarks. Furthermore, no male insectoid would willingly let other *Chong* know that he was unable to manage his female insectoid and sub-male insectoids, and allow them to do things that didn’t comply with the male insectoid’s wishes.

But Serra would only feel proud that Edwin could take this step today. He had personally watched the female insectoid who had once been brainwashed by the church and crushed by suffering gradually emerge from hiding, standing once again in the spotlight, standing in the sunlight. He knew Edwin could do it. He knew that life chose its own destiny, and that fate also chose worthy candidates.

In the timeline, Edwin could become the leader of the rebel army, able to lead female insectoids and sub-male insectoids to win the war that overturned fate, not because he was the strongest female insectoid, nor because of his luck and his past, but simply because his soul shone brightly, because he was worthy. Regardless of Serra’s intervention, Edwin would become the female insectoid he was meant to be.

Serra saw a stubborn, rising star, and he was willing to give everything, just to scoop up a handful of starlight.

“…”

Edwin’s gaze slid in Serra’s direction for the first time. He had been avoiding eye contact with Serra, because he knew his *Chong* cub… had an extraordinary influence on him. He didn’t want to appear weak and sentimental in front of everyone.

Besides… other *Chong* might not know, but he was marked by Serra, his ethically male son—revealing this relationship would affect Serra’s reputation.

But the moment Edwin’s gaze landed on Serra, he was scorched by his excessively ardent eyes, filled with starlight. His *Chong* cub was looking at him with an almost pious gaze, causing Edwin’s cheeks to flush instantly. He quickly looked away, but he knew that under the flawless visual capture of *Chong* technology, every detail of his and Serra’s movements would be visible.

Edwin had no time to feel embarrassed. Edwin knew that his *Chong* cub didn’t care about his own reputation, and it wasn’t the first day he knew this. He thought about persuading his *Chong* cub not to look at him with such eyes, but he found it difficult to say, so he simply ignored it.

But he couldn’t stop the warm current rising in his heart because of Serra’s gaze. He knew that no matter what complex relationship he and his *Chong* cub were in, no matter whether his *Chong* cub was unwilling to admit his “love” for him, they possessed each other, and would always possess each other.

Until death separated them.

That was good enough. Edwin had never thought—never hoped for more, nor did he want to know more. He had too many unfinished tasks. He carried the blood debt of Marshal Ax and countless comrades. As long as he had a breath left, his life did not belong to him alone.

“…Marshal Ax said that the Mother Goddess will not favor us,” Edwin repeated:

“I don’t know what the Mother Goddess is thinking, but I only know one thing. No deity would make their own people feel that survival is a luxury, no deity would make their own people believe that their birth is an original sin, no deity can make us lose our voices, lose ourselves, lose our souls.”

“I don’t believe that such a god is the Mother Goddess of the *Chong*. I also don’t believe that my soul was born unworthy to sing, that my body is just a vessel, that no matter what achievements I make in my life, in the end, I can only offer my merits and results to male insectoids who have never been on the battlefield.”

“Even without a god, we still have each other. My comrades, if you choose to deeply believe in the church’s teachings, choose the god who has never favored you, rather than the flesh-and-blood comrades around you who have guarded your backs countless times on the battlefield, I will not stop you. I have not concealed the fact that I am a female insectoid marked by a male insectoid. Many of you may think I am lucky because I briefly escaped death. But my comrades, I have faced death countless times. I do not have outstanding luck. What I have is countless hands reaching out to me, pulling me out of the abyss time and time again. Those are the hands of my comrades.”

Edwin quickly glanced at Serra, whose cheeks were flushed, and who was already seemingly captivated by Edwin’s brilliance. He seemed to feel guilty that he couldn’t mention Serra’s help to him, but the male insectoid didn’t seem to care. His eyes were only filled with Edwin’s calm, resolute figure, who was holding high the flames of revenge and the sparks of revolution.

“I give you a chance to make a choice. Follow me, and I will do my best, with my experience and combat power, to provide you with protection. Or choose to remain silent, abide by the church’s doctrines, and regard me, who has been marked by a male insectoid, as a blasphemy to the army. I accept everything. If I am not chosen, I will not impose my rank of general upon you. I will enter the army as an ordinary soldier, because I belong here. And you may have an unmarried female insectoid appointed by Duke Corvin as your new general. He may be one of your senior officers.”

Edwin said calmly:

“This is the answer I want from you.”

His large wings stirred up a gust of wind, and then folded behind him. He landed on both feet, looking at his comrades with a frank gaze, seemingly not feeling the invisible pressure in the air at all.

One second, two seconds… ten seconds.

Serra heard the first slight “thump,” like a silent drumbeat from ancient times striking the earth. An invisible force rippled through all life, harmonizing with the wind and sunlight. He held his breath and turned around gently. In his wide eyes, the female insectoids on the drill ground, who were silent as dolls, one after another, slowly knelt on one knee. Their right hands silently clenched into fists, touching their left chests, the spot closest to their hearts.

Their knuckles silently tapped their chests, making a simple, muffled sound. After a few breaths, more female insectoids lowered their bodies, kneeling on one knee, their differently colored pupils silently and heavily looking in the same direction—at Edwin, who stood on the high platform with a solemn expression.

Looking around, there were almost no standing female insectoids on the drill ground. They knelt on one knee, their right hands clenched into fists and pressed against their chests. The muffled tapping sound, mixed with the scent of blood and dust from the battlefield, rippled in the air. Their eyes looked at Edwin, silent and firm. A pair of eyes, no longer belonging to unresponsive puppets.

They looked at their general, their comrade, their own outstanding individual, and made their own choices.

Edwin, facing all the female insectoids and the camera robots on the high platform, also knelt on one knee nimbly, making the same movement as the female insectoids. This was the ceremony they performed when they enlisted to swear allegiance to the Empire. It not only represented their loyal belonging, but also silently conveyed the meaning that only female insectoids understood:

From now on, they would fight for Edwin, fight for their comrades, and fight for justice and freedom.

A thin layer of tears welled up in Serra’s eyes—okay, now he had to admit that he was a bit of a crybaby, unrelated to his physical condition, but that wasn’t a big problem, right? There were no rules on Earth about men shedding blood but not tears. He was a male insectoid—whatever. He didn’t care.

He would always shed tears for Edwin, always shed tears for the revolutionary spirit of life finding a way out of suffering.

Male insectoid journalists and some of the church’s male insectoids also stared wide-eyed at this scene. Many of them made choking sounds, as if their throats were stuck, seemingly unwilling to believe what they were seeing.

They didn’t understand why thousands of years of brainwashing and indoctrination, countless oppressions and deaths, couldn’t scare away these damned female insectoids. They didn’t understand why the female insectoids, who had been orderly and obedient in the past few days, would do such outrageous things for a former general who had been away from the army for more than a year. How could they not fear the Mother Goddess? How could they not fear the male insectoids’ disgust for their rebellious behavior?

How dare they not please the male insectoids? They clearly knew that the church wanted them to hinder Edwin from rejoining the army and regaining military power. How dare they disobey the divine instructions?

What exactly was happening? Why did they, as male insectoids, only feel a bone-chilling coldness climbing up their spines? Their mouths were bitter, a taste they had never experienced before.

Was that fear?