ASSHKHME Chapter 74

Chapter 74: Wild Boar Collision?

Late at night, it snowed again.

Snowflakes fluttered down from the black sky.

Whirling in the cold wind, they slid across the wide French windows, inadvertently peeking into a room filled with lust through the gaps in the curtains.

The humid and hot air melted the snowflakes, condensing into beads of water on the glass, sliding down and blurring the hazy night.

The rushing water sounds in the bathroom gradually subsided, it was already three in the morning.

Xie Yu carried Chen Zhuo out, tilting his head to look out the window, only to see goose-feather-like snow falling one after another, “Little Zhuo’er, it’s snowing.”

Chen Zhuo came down from his arms, staggering towards the windowsill, pulling open the curtains, only to see a vast expanse of white outside.

Xie Yu hurriedly wrapped him in a thin blanket, complaining, “Even though it’s the top floor, what if a pervert uses a telescope to peep?”

Chen Zhuo wrapped in the blanket and sat on the small sofa, his eyes a little swollen, “I’m hungry, go get me something to eat.”

Xie Yu half-squatted beside his feet, gently said, “What do you want to eat?”

Chen Zhuo stepped on his knee with bare feet, unhappily said, “You talk as if you’re so capable, didn’t you buy instant noodles? Cook me a pack of instant noodles, put in two eggs, I need to replenish.”

Xie Yu grabbed his ankle and stroked it, amused, “I didn’t even let you exert any effort, is it that tiring?”

Chen Zhuo kicked his shoulder lightly, “I’m also very tired, okay? Do you think anyone can withstand a wild boar collision?”

Xie Yu was occasionally stunned by Chen Zhuo’s words, and only spoke after a long while, questioning, “What, what? Who is the wild boar? How can you say that about your man? I’m so handsome and dashing, yet you actually say I’m a wild boar?”

Chen Zhuo glanced at him sideways, “Then, Marshal Canopy will do, right?”

Xie Yu laughed in anger, flipping him over on the small sofa, “You still have the energy to mock me, I don’t think you’re very tired, or…”

Chen Zhuo’s face changed drastically, “Are you even human! Quickly go cook me instant noodles! I want them boiled, not soaked, remember to boil them soft and mushy, I don’t like the half-hard, half-soft texture.”

Xie Yu raised an eyebrow and said, “Isn’t that backwards?”

Chen Zhuo smiled and picked up a pillow to hit him, “Get lost, you little virgin.”

Xie Yu snorted, “What? Aren’t you a virgin?”

Chen Zhuo casually said, “I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve taken a dump in this lifetime, and you’re still hung up on virginity.”

These words were really vulgar, and Xie Yu showed some disgust on his face.

But remembering that Chen Zhuo spent half an hour longer in the bathroom today than usual, he loved him to death again.

He agreed, “Indeed, you’ve also worked hard, I’ll go make you a midnight snack.”

Ten minutes later.

Chen Zhuo sat cross-legged on Xie Yu’s pillow.

At the small table in the master bedroom, he slurped down the noodles.

Xie Yu ate a lot in the evening, although he burned a lot of energy, he wasn’t hungry.

He just sat opposite him, propping his chin up and watching him eat, “Is it delicious? Can you eat your fill?”

Chen Zhuo drank a mouthful of noodle soup, his stomach felt warm and comfortable, “It’s delicious, it’s just that the boiled eggs are overcooked, but overall it’s not bad.”

Xie Yu chuckled lightly, admiring his masterpiece on Chen Zhuo’s body, “Then I’ll keep trying hard, tomorrow I’ll learn to cook, I can’t get up in the morning, what do you want to eat for lunch? I’ll make it for you.”

Chen Zhuo slurped the noodles, without even raising his head, “Buddha Jumps Over the Wall.”

Xie Yu: “…………”

After drinking the last mouthful of noodle soup, Chen Zhuo felt like he had come back to life, and waved his hand grandly, “Go wash the dishes.”

At this time, Xie Yu was naturally obedient, taking the chopsticks and carrying the bowl to the kitchen.

When he came back, Chen Zhuo had already tilted his head and fallen asleep on the sofa, it seemed he was really tired enough.

Xie Yu carried him to the bed, covered him with the quilt, and when he was about to go to sleep, he realized that his pillow was missing.

Only then did he realize what Chen Zhuo’s butt was sitting on just now.

Xie Yu took the pillow back, his stern eyebrows softened, and he touched Chen Zhuo’s head, “So cute.”

The next day, Chen Zhuo slept until noon, the spot beside him was empty, and there were clanging sounds coming from the kitchen.

Chen Zhuo rubbed his sore waist.

The first thing to do when waking up on vacation is definitely to play on the phone for a while, anyway, Xie Yu can’t blow up the kitchen, he’s not an idiot.

There was a missed call, from Xu Qingyou, probably asking where he was staying during the winter vacation.

Chen Zhuo scratched his messy hair, feeling that his current hoarse voice wasn’t suitable for making phone calls, so he sent him a WeChat message.

[Qingyou-ge, sorry, I just woke up, I won’t bother Uncle and Auntie, I found a part-time job, I’ll just live at my own place, don’t worry about me.]

Chen Zhuo put down his phone, stretched lazily, and staggered to wash up, insisting on taking a shower despite his aching body, tidying up his hair before going to the kitchen to find Xie Yu.

The kitchen was like a battlefield, a mess, the counter was full of vegetable leaves.

Xie Yu was watching a video tutorial on his phone, turning his head to look at Chen Zhuo, “You’re up? How’s your body? Does your butt hurt?”

Chen Zhuo leaned against the door frame with one shoulder, mercilessly retorting, “Don’t worry about me, are you cooking or fighting a war? Look at the mess.”

Xie Yu flusteredly added seasonings according to the tutorial, “Hey, never mind that, anyway, I won’t poison you to death, go go go, go watch TV, don’t affect my performance.”

After waiting for almost two hours, Chen Zhuo was so hungry that he wanted to eat someone, Chef Xie finally began to serve the dishes.

Chen Zhuo held his rice bowl, tapping the dark lump on the plate with his chopsticks, “What is this? Cola spare ribs? You’re quite innovative.”

Xie Yu said innocently, “Sweet and sour pork ribs, looks ugly, tastes alright.”

Chen Zhuo paused, hesitating to put it in his mouth, first trying to lick it to taste it, confirming that it wouldn’t poison him before putting it in his mouth.

Xie Yu looked forward to it, “How is it? Not bad, right?”

Chen Zhuo took two bites of rice, euphemistically said, “Not bad, you should have used that ten-year-old aged vinegar from yesterday, right? It’s really flavorful.”

Xie Yu reacted for two seconds, realizing that Chen Zhuo was mocking him for being jealous of Xu Qingyou.

He happily said, “……How am I going to live my life in the future? I can’t bear to hit you, and I can’t win arguments.”

Chen Zhuo laughed twice, switching to the scrambled eggs with tomatoes that were scrambled into pieces, “Hmm! This tomato sauce scrambled eggs are delicious.”

Xie Yu was amused by him, “If it’s delicious, then eat more.”

Just as the two were bickering and teasing each other, happily, the doorbell suddenly rang.

The rice Chen Zhuo had just picked up “clattered” and fell on his leg, nervously said, “Who is it? It’s not your parents, right?”

Xie Yu was also stunned, no one usually came to his place, “Can’t be, my parents always call me back, they would say something in advance if they were coming to my place.”

Chen Zhuo covered his neck guiltily, raised his foot and ran to the master bedroom, “I’ll go change into a turtleneck sweater! You open the door later!”

His clothes had already been taken out of his suitcase by Xie Yu and hung in the closet, hanging together with Xie Yu’s.

Xie Yu couldn’t stop him, “Slow down, don’t fall.”

Xie Yu walked to the entrance with a full of doubt, saw the person outside through the visual doorbell, and raised his eyebrows.