Why Does Mr. Xie Favor Me? Chapter 41
byChapter 41 The remaining hairpin reflects the moon
My knife and his tears fell together.
Three days later, when Shen Youjin emerged from the shadow of the ruined temple, it was still dark.He put on the coarse clothes and tied the short knife close to his body on the inside of his forearm.
Wang Yuzong’s people gave him two things, a pack of smoke powder and a simple picture.The map shows the route taken by Xie Heng and Xiao Jue to patrol the Danyang border every month, with the section of the black pine forest circled with cinnabar.
“The road in the deep forest is narrow, making it difficult for carriages to move.” The man said, “The smoke dissipates with the wind, and it can take three breaths to collapse. You only have one chance.”
Shen Youjin burned the picture by the stream, and the ashes flowed away with the water.He squatted by the water and looked at his blurry reflection in the water. The face in the shadow had old scars, weather and frost, and a pair of eyes that even he felt were unfamiliar.
He took out the peony hosta from his arms, which was the only thing left by Wang Xinlu after his death.The hairpin is very cold, and it feels like holding a piece of ice in your hand.
“I want to kill Xie Heng.” He said to himself in the water, his voice hoarse, “Not for the Wang family, not for anyone, just for me.”
The reflection in the water looked at him silently.
Ripples spread out, and the distorted reflection gradually shattered.At the other end of Xie’s Mansion, the pool in the courtyard was quietly reflecting the lights in the study.Xie Heng finished reviewing the last official document. When he looked up, it was almost dusk outside the window.
Xiao Jue pushed the door open and came in, holding a medicine bowl in his hand, “It’s time to drink medicine.” Xiao Jue put the bowl on the table and looked at his thin face.
Xie Heng took the medicine bowl and drank it all in one gulp. He frowned slightly, and the bitter taste spread on the tip of his tongue.
Xiao Jue handed over a candied fruit. This time, Xie Heng did not accept his hand. Instead, he took it and sucked it in his mouth. When he raised his eyes, the corners of his lips slightly raised: “Have you made arrangements for your border patrol tomorrow?”
“It’s been arranged.” Xiao Jue nodded with a solemn expression, “But Wang Yuzong’s side…”
Xie Heng said calmly, “Shen Youjin is the only person he can use now. He will not be willing to use this knife.”
Xiao Jue put his hand on the hilt of his sword, “I have sent additional manpower. There are twenty experts ambushed in the Black Pine Forest area, and Wen Boyan will also lead troops five miles away to respond.”
“Not enough.” Xie Heng stood up, walked to the window, and looked at the darkening sky. “Shen Youjin grew up in the palace, and he has been hiding in the palace for many years. He knows how to hide murderous intentions, and he also knows how to kill with one blow.”
The two people’s eyes met, and the surging emotions in Xiao Jue’s eyes finally settled into firm determination.He let go of his hand, bowed and clasped his fists: “I’ll make arrangements later.”
“Wait.” Xie Heng stopped him and took out a token from his sleeve, “This is the order to mobilize troops. If the situation changes, don’t wait for my order and directly mobilize Wen Boyan into the forest.”
Xiao Jue took the token, looked at him deeply, turned and left.
Xie Heng stood alone in front of the window, his fingers caressing the window lattice unconsciously.The last ray of skylight outside the window sank into the horizon, and the ink color soaked the whole night, and then gradually faded.By noon the next day, the sunlight had completely changed.
The forest is as deep as the sea, with waves of pine trees. The midday sun barely penetrates the layers of pine needles, casting mottled light and shadow on the ground.The carriage drove slowly on the mountain road, its wheels making a monotonous sound as it ran over the gravel.
Xiao Jue was riding a horse to guard the car, scanning the dense forest on both sides.The four personal guards behind him were also veterans of many battles, and they were all tense at this moment.
In the carriage, Xie Heng closed his eyes and rested his mind. He held a book in his hand but did not open it.
Suddenly, a flock of birds appeared in the forest.
Xiao Jue suddenly raised his hand: “Stop!”
Almost at the same time, several plumes of white smoke rose from the forest on both sides. The smoke spread quickly along the mountain wind, carrying a faint sweet smell.
“Cover your mouth and nose!” Xiao Jue shouted, but the guard was already shaking and falling.He himself felt dizzy and immediately held his breath and unsheathed his sword.
From the smoke, a black shadow swept out like a ghost and headed straight towards the carriage.
Xiao Jue swung his sword to block it. When the swords collided, sparks flew out. The force of the force was so great that it made Xiao Jue’s mouth numb.
Shen Youjin didn’t fight with Xiao Jue at all. He retreated with one blow. He was already beside the carriage in a flash and stabbed the window with his short knife.
A short sword protruded from the car window, holding the blade accurately.Xie Heng’s face appeared in the window, with a stern expression.
Blood flashed in Shen Youjin’s eyes, and powder was thrown out from his other hand. Seeing this, Xiao Jue rushed forward and forced Shen Youjin back with a sweep of his sword. At the same time, he protected Xie Heng: “Be careful of the poisonous powder!”
But Shen Youjin’s target was not poisonous powder at all. With the help of Xiao Jue’s blocking, he spun like a top, and the blade drew an arc, passing through the gap in Xiao Jue’s sword net and piercing Xie Heng’s face.
This knife is too fast and too tricky.Xiao Jue’s pupils shrank suddenly and it was too late to save him.
“Tsk!”
The blade grazed the side of Xie Heng’s neck, bringing out a string of blood beads.Xie Heng turned sideways to avoid the vital point, but his left arm was cut open with a bone-deep wound, and blood instantly soaked into his sleeve.
“Xie Heng!” Xiao Jue’s eyes were about to burst, his sword power suddenly became violent, and his every move was a desperate move.But Shen Youjin didn’t take the move at all. He flashed and moved in the forest, accurately avoiding Xiao Jue’s killing move with every movement, and the blade never left Xie Heng’s vitals.
Shen Youjin was like a patient beast, consuming the physical strength and will of his prey.
Two more guards fell down, and the remaining two barely managed to hold on, but were unable to form an encirclement.
Xiao Jue’s heart sank. He underestimated Shen Youjin’s madness and calculation.This person didn’t mean to kill them with one blow, but to wear them to death bit by bit.
“Xiao Jue!” Xie Heng suddenly shouted, “Take the people back!”
“No!” Xiao Jue stood in front of him, his back soaked with sweat.
Shen Youjin stopped five steps away, blood dripping from the tip of the knife.He looked at Xie Heng, who was protected by Xiao Jue behind him, and Xie Heng’s pale but still calm face, and suddenly smiled: “Xie Heng, what do you think I want to do now?”
Xie Heng held down his bleeding arm, his voice still steady: “You want to see me beg for mercy.”
“No.” Shen Youjin shook his head, a crazy light jumping in his eyes, “I want to see General Xiao break his arm for you.”
He stared at Xiao Jue and said word by word: “I will let him go if he cuts off his arm.”
Xie Heng’s pupils shrank suddenly: “Xiao Jue, don’t listen to him!”
“Okay.” Xiao Jue’s voice was decisive.
He backhanded without hesitation, the sword pointed at his left shoulder.The moonlight shines through the pine needles on the sword’s blade, and the cold light is dazzling.
“No!” Xie Heng’s voice finally changed. He wanted to step forward, but he staggered due to excessive blood loss and could only hold on to the shaft of the car. “Xiao Jue! How dare you!”
Xiao Jue looked at him with sinister eyes, “Aheng, an arm is worth trading for your life.”
value.
One word hit Shen Youjin’s heart like a heavy hammer.
He suddenly remembered that winter many years ago, when his mother held his hand and stood in front of Ren Yazi, and when she took the half bag of millet, her hands shook violently.His mother knelt down and touched his face. Tears fell heavily, but she was speechless.
At that time, my mother also had such determination in her eyes. She knew it was a dead end, but she had no choice but to go.
Shen Youjin’s hand holding the knife began to tremble. He looked at Xiao Jue’s unhesitating expression, the fear and pain that almost overflowed from Xie Heng’s eyes, and the life-and-death bond between the two people…
He suddenly didn’t understand what he was doing.
The rapid sound of horse hooves could be heard outside the forest, and the light of torches quickly approached.
Shen Youjin suddenly came to his senses. He looked at the knife still bleeding in his hand, and then at Xiao Jue’s raised sword.
He suddenly let go of his hand.
The short knife fell to the ground with a clang, smashing up a few fallen leaves.
Xiao Jue stepped forward and protected Xie Heng behind him, with the sword pointed directly at Shen Youjin’s throat.But Shen Youjin didn’t resist, he just stood there and looked at them, his eyes blank.
Wen Boyan rushed in with his men and immediately restrained Shen Youjin.Shen Youjin did not struggle and let them tie his hands and kneel on the ground.
“Thank you Pushe! Are you seriously injured?” Wen Boyan asked urgently.
Xie Heng shook his head, but his eyes fell on Shen Youjin.The blood mark on his neck was still bleeding, and the wound on his left arm was in severe pain, but what he was more concerned about at the moment was the sudden deathly silence in Shen Youjin’s eyes.
Shen Youjin raised his head and looked at Xie Heng, who was being protected by Xiao Jue, and then thought of the sword in Xiao Jue’s hand that almost broke his arm.
He suddenly laughed softly, “There is still nothing we can do.”
Xie Heng did not kill him immediately, but locked him in a cell in Danyang, which was cleaner than Tingwei Prison. There was no seeping moss on the walls and dry straw on the floor.Shen Youjin sat in the corner with his hands and feet shackled, but no one abused him.
Someone brought clean prison clothes and decent meals.He knew that this was what Xie Heng meant.
At dusk, the cell door opened.Xie Heng walked in alone, holding a lamp in his hand.The injury on his left arm was bandaged well, and his face returned to its usual calmness, but the paleness after blood loss had not completely faded away.
Shen Youjin looked up at him but said nothing.
Xie Heng stood still in front of him, remained silent for a moment, and then said, “You could have killed me.”
Shen Youjin twitched the corners of his lips: “Then what? Shot to death by random arrows?”
“You could hold me hostage and escape.” Xie Heng said calmly, “But in the end you let go.”
Shen Youjin turned his head and stared at the shadow somewhere in the corner.
Xie Heng said slowly, “Now that things have happened, do you have anything to say?”
The cell was quiet for a long time, until the sound of the watchman banging could be heard in the distance.Shen Youjin finally raised his head, his eyes filled with unprecedented confusion.
“Xie Heng.” He spoke, his voice hoarse like sandpaper rubbing against wood, “What is the purpose of this life?”
Xie Heng was stunned.
He looked at the empty-eyed man in front of him and suddenly understood that Shen Youjin was not provoking or mocking.He was really asking, like a person who has walked in the darkness for too long and finally couldn’t help but ask, what is light?
Xie Heng was silent for a long time before slowly speaking: “For the sake of heaven and earth, for the sake of living and for the people, for the inheritance of the unique knowledge of the past saints, and for the creation of peace for all generations.” He paused, his voice was calm and firm, “For the protection of the world, all the poor people in the world are happy, and for the yellow hair to be happy.”
As Shen Youjin listened, his eyes were blank at first, and then slowly an almost bitter smile appeared.
“You are an adult.” He said softly, with no sarcasm in his voice, only a calmness like resignation. “Your life is also bright and open. I am a villain, and everyone yells at me to beat up the rats crossing the street. I will never have such ambitions in this life, the next life, and the next life.”
He lowered his head and looked at the bloody scabs on his wrists worn by the shackles for a long time: “Why do I want to ask God?”
Xie Heng said nothing.
Shen Youjin continued to speak, his voice getting lower and lower, as if he was speaking to himself: “Your Majesty used me and then abandoned me. Wang Xinlu humiliated me and tortured me…Actually, I don’t hate them. Really, I really don’t hate them anymore. I just think it’s unfair.”
He raised his head, and for the first time there was water in his eyes, but they were spinning in his eyes, stubbornly refusing to fall down: “In my life, I have kneeled to many people and asked for many things. But only now do I understand that some things cannot be obtained by kneeling.”
After the words fell, there was dead silence in the cell.
Shen Youjin suddenly smiled, and the tears that had been stubborn and refused to fall finally rolled down.He hurriedly lowered his head and wanted to wipe it with his shoulder, but the shackles restricted his movement, and his tears fell heavily on the hay.
Xie Heng looked at him quietly, looking at this man who had been repeatedly rubbed by fate and finally twisted into a monster, but at this moment he was crying helplessly like a lost child.
He suddenly remembered that Li Yuanjing once said: “Some people become ghosts because no one ever treats them as human beings.”
After a long time, Xie Heng slowly said: “If you are willing, I can give you a new identity and enough money to choose the life you want to live.”
Shen Youjin raised his head suddenly, with tears on his face and eyes full of disbelief.
Xie Heng said no more and turned to leave.When he reached the door, he stopped and left a message: “If you think about it, tell the guard.”
The cell door closed again, and the sound of locking was particularly clear in the silence.
Shen Youjin sat in the darkness for a long time, and suddenly he covered his face.This time, the suppressed crying finally no longer concealed, and tears leaked from the fingers, echoing in the empty cell.
This time I cried, not out of hatred or humiliation.It was for that little bit of warmth that he thought he would never get in this life.
Outside the prison door, Xiao Jue was waiting there.Seeing Xie Heng come out, he immediately stepped forward to support him: “Does the wound hurt again?”
“It’s okay.” Xie Heng shook his head and stood firm with his hand, “Let’s go back.”
The two of them walked out of the prison side by side, and the moonlight outside was like water, shining brightly on the ground.
Xiao Jue suddenly squeezed his hand, a little hard: “If Wen Boyan hadn’t arrived in time…”
“You will break your arm.” Xie Heng took his words and looked at him sideways, “I know.”
Xiao Jue’s Adam’s apple rolled and he wanted to say something, but in the end he just held his hand tighter.
Xie Heng stopped, looked at him under the moonlight, and suddenly sighed softly: “Xiao Jue, don’t do this again.”
“What kind?”
“Don’t trade your life, your limbs, for mine.” Xie Heng’s voice was very soft, but his words were clear, “I want you to live well.”
“Okay.” He nodded, his voice hoarse, “I promise you.”
The moonlight stretched the shadows of the two people very long, overlapping each other gently.
In the distant cell, Shen Youjin’s crying gradually stopped.He leaned against the cold wall, looking out the iron window at the night sky cut by the fence, and for the first time there was something other than confusion in his eyes.
Maybe fate is never fair.
But in this life, people may not be seeking fairness, but looking for even a glimmer of light.
[The author has something to say]
Shen Youjin is actually a tragic figure who was shaped by the system and fate. He was systematically degraded from a dignified person to a tool and plaything, and in the end even his self-perception was distorted.
I think he hated the emperor and Wang Xinlu very much, but his tragedy was precisely that he was deprived of even the ability to hate.Long-term enslavement made him accept his inherent inferiority, just like a patient with Stockholm syndrome.
This lack of hate is more tragic than hate.
His jealousy of Xie Heng is actually proof that his humanity still exists. If he completely accepts his fate, he will not suffer. It is precisely because he still knows in his subconscious that he should be a human being that he has strong jealousy for people like Xie Heng who live like human beings.
This twisted jealousy is essentially a longing for a normal life.
Xie Heng was born into a top-notch family, while Shen Youjin was an ordinary citizen who was not even considered a poor family. They were born different.But it is this essential difference that makes Shen Youjin’s hatred for Xie Heng transcend personal grudges and escalate into a confrontation between two worldviews.
Shen Youjin is a product of being completely alienated by the system, while Xie Heng is trying to resist and reshape the system.
Shen Youjin’s attack on Xie Heng is in a sense a monster created by the old system, an instinctive counterattack against those who try to change the system.