When The Snow Falls In Autumn Chapter 64

Chapter 64

On the third day of continuous autumn rain, the sky was like rice paper soaked in old ink, weighing heavily on the top of the head, without a trace of light.The rain was not heavy, just the kind of fine, cold rain that made no sound, but enveloped the whole world in a wet, gray curtain.The air was full of moisture, heavy and sticky, and every breath carried a coolness and the smell of earth.

At three o’clock in the afternoon, the temporary exhibition hall in Classroom 107 of the School of History closes.The three-day preview has finally come to an end.The last few students who visited have also left, and the classroom has become empty, leaving only the silent old papers, maps and tools on the booth, glowing with a deserted luster under the pale fluorescent lamp.The air remains slightly warm after the crowd dispersed, mixed with paper, flannel and the faint body odor from different people, creating a slightly suffocating aftertaste.

Ye Qiulan and Ling Xueqing were cleaning up the mess.According to the arrangement of the college, they need to carefully remove the exhibits, classify and package them, and return them to the corresponding reference room or restoration department.This is a tedious task that requires a high degree of care, especially for photocopies and duplicate scrolls of ancient books that are fragile and fragile.

Ling Xueqing was responsible for handling the core and most fragile items – the copy of the scroll of “General Map of Yongzhou Prefecture’s Mountains and Rivers”, several precious photocopies of land deeds from the Qing Dynasty, and the few pages of a sad and simple schematic diagram she drew based on her mother’s memory.She put on the thin gray gloves, moving more slowly and deliberately than usual.Every exhibit seemed to carry a thousand kilograms of weight when she picked it up.Her profile looked unusually calm under the light, her lips were pursed tightly, and only the tiny, almost invisible frown between her eyebrows revealed a trace of tension.

Ye Qiulan was on the other side, packing up relatively minor exhibit descriptions, tools, as well as some antique letterheads and blank scrolls used as background decoration.Her movements were also a little absent-minded, and her eyes always drifted to Ling Xueqing involuntarily.Watching Ling Xueqing carefully roll up the copied map bit by bit, carefully wrap it in acid-free paper, and then put it into a special cylinder; watching her gently pull out the schematic map of her mother’s memory from under the pressure strip, her fingertips paused for a moment on the dotted line marked “Rishui (?)”, her eyes a little vacant, and then she slowly folded it and put it into a clean kraft paper file bag.

The classroom was very quiet, with only the rustling of paper, the slight sound of tape being torn off, and the never-ending patter of rain outside the window.This silence is different from the reassuring silence of the library, but a slightly tired and empty silence after work is over and the bustle has dissipated.

Ye Qiulan put the last batch of sundries into cartons and sealed them with tape.She straightened up, rubbed her sore neck, and looked over at Ling Xueqing.Ling Xueqing is also nearing the end and is processing the last photocopy of the land deed.She took the photocopies out of the clear folder and prepared to put them back into a thicker, acid-free paper bag.

Just then, an accident happened.

Maybe it was because of the flipping of the exhibition for several days, maybe because it was moved a little too quickly when it was removed, maybe it was just that the paper had aged to a certain critical point – just when Ling Xueqing’s fingertips pinched the edge of the photocopy and was about to slide it into the paper bag, the paper was close to an extremely fragile and previously repaired place near the binding line.

“Tsk——”

The sound was extremely subtle, but it sounded like thunder in the silent classroom.

Ling Xueqing’s movements froze instantly.Her pupils shrank sharply, and the fingers holding the edge of the paper froze in mid-air, her knuckles turning slightly white from the momentary exertion.Under the fluorescent lamp, her face lost color at a speed visible to the naked eye, turning pale.His eyes were fixed on the newly appeared small crack, and there was huge shock, annoyance, and an emotion almost…panic in his eyes.

Ye Qiulan also saw it, his heart tightened suddenly, and he subconsciously took a step forward.”What’s wrong?”

Ling Xueqing didn’t answer.She maintained that stiff posture, as if nailed to the spot by the crack.His breathing became a little rapid, and his chest rose and fell slightly.The other hand holding the paper bag was also shaking slightly.

Ye Qiulan walked over quickly and took a closer look.The crack was very thin, but it looked particularly dazzling on a piece of old, gray-yellow paper.It destroyed the integrity of this photocopy (although it was a copy, it was based on a high-definition scan of the precious original). It was also like a knife, unexpectedly cutting through the appearance of absolute precision and control that Ling Xuequing had always maintained.

“It’s just…a small crack on the edge,” Ye Qiulan tried to comfort him, his voice was very soft, “Should…can it be repaired?”

Ling Xueqing still didn’t respond.She just stared at the crack, and the panic in her eyes was gradually replaced by a deeper and colder self-blame.Her lips were pursed white, and her jawline was as tight as a solid rock.The whole body exuded an extremely depressing, almost desperate low pressure.

Ye Qiulan’s heart was tightened.She had never seen Ling Xueqing be so out of sorts.Even when the pheromone accidentally leaked before, she quickly controlled it and responded with calmness and even indifference.But at this moment, facing the tiny damage to a piece of paper, she seemed to be under huge, invisible pressure, and her whole person was shrouded in a cold, self-condemned shadow.

“Senior Sister Ling…” Ye Qiulan reached out and wanted to touch her arm, but stopped hesitantly when he was about to touch her arm.

The moment her fingertips paused, Ling Xueqing suddenly moved.Very slowly, as if she had exhausted all her strength, she gently placed the cracked photocopy back on the table.Then she took off her gloves.

She didn’t look at Ye Qiulan, nor did she look at the torn paper again.Her eyes were blankly cast towards the continuous rain outside the window, and her voice was as dry as sandpaper:

“It’s my fault.”

The four words were as heavy as hitting the ground.

“I was too careless.” She said again, her voice lower, with a clear, almost masochistic exhaustion.”I thought… I could control everything.”

This sentence seems to be talking about more than just this piece of paper.

Ye Qiulan’s throat was choked.The sourness surged in, not for myself, but for the person in front of me who magnified small mistakes and turned perfectionism into a heavy shackles on himself.She wanted to say “it’s okay”, she wanted to say “it’s not your fault”, she wanted to say “it’s just a little problem”.But she knew that these light comforts were meaningless to Ling Xueqing at this moment.

She looked at Ling Xueqing’s pale side face, her eyes looking empty out the window, her hands clenched into fists with white knuckles, and somewhere in her heart, she felt a sharp pain as if she had been stabbed hard by something.

She hesitated no more.He stretched out his hand, not to touch Ling Xueqing, but gently and carefully picked up the cracked photocopy on the table.Then, from the tools packed nearby, she found the smallest repair tweezers, the finest brush, and a little bit of the mild special pulp repair glue (diluted) that had been used to fix the exhibits.

“Let me try.” Ye Qiulan said softly, his tone softer than ever before, but also carrying an unquestionable firmness.She pulled up another chair, sat down next to Ling Xueqing, and adjusted the light of the desk lamp to the best angle.

Ling Xueqing finally looked away from the window and fell on Ye Qiulan.Her eyes were still empty, with a hint of confusion and almost vulnerability, as if she didn’t understand what Ye Qiulan was going to do.

Ye Qiulan did not explain any more.She lowered her head and concentrated on the “repair” work in front of her.She used tweezers to gently open the edge of the crack, dipped a fine brush in a small amount of almost transparent repair glue, and applied and closed it bit by bit along the tiny crack with extremely steady and gentle movements.She breathed very lightly, as if she was afraid of disturbing the fragile fibers of the paper.The light shines on her focused profile, and her long eyelashes cast quiet shadows under her eyes.

Time passes quietly in the subtle movements of the pen tip and tweezers.The only sound left in the classroom was the sound of rain and the shallow breathing of the two of them.Ling Xueqing stood next to Ye Qiulan, watching her movements quietly.Look at her fingers that are steady without any trembling, look at her slightly frowned but extremely focused brows, look at her lips that are slightly pursed because she is holding her breath.

That small crack, under Ye Qiulan’s patient and careful treatment, was gradually closed by the almost invisible, transparent gel. Only when you look carefully at the light can you see an extremely fine, slightly darker mark, like a scar that fades after healing.

After doing all this, Ye Qiulan let out a long, silent sigh of relief.She put down her tools, raised her head, and looked at Ling Xueqing.

Ling Xueqing was also looking at her.In those eyes that were always calm and bottomless, Ye Qiulan’s face and the soft halo of the light were clearly reflected at this moment.There were extremely complex emotions surging inside – shock, confusion, a feeling of being caught off guard and gently catching the fall, and a deeper fragility that even she might not be able to clearly identify, a relief-like vulnerability, and a trace of… an extremely weak warm current, as if quietly surging deep in the ice.

Her lips moved, as if she wanted to say something, but no sound came out.Just looking at Ye Qiulan quietly like that, there was something hard in his eyes that was melting and collapsing silently and slowly.

Ye Qiulan’s heart was beating very fast. Being looked at by Ling Xueqing so intently and almost absentmindedly made her cheeks feel slightly hot and her palms became a little sweaty.But she didn’t look away and just said softly: “Look, it’s repaired. It’s almost invisible.”

Ling Xueqing’s eyes finally moved away from Ye Qiulan’s face and fell back on the photocopy.She stretched out her hand, her fingertips hovering over the crack just now, and brushed it very lightly, as if touching something fragile.It feels smooth to the touch, with only a very faint, almost negligible undulation.

She was silent for a long time.The sound of rain outside the window seemed to be quieter, turning into a softer rustling sound.

“…Thank you.” Ling Xueqing finally spoke, her voice hoarse than before, with an unprecedented and real exhaustion, and an almost uncaptured… tremor.

These two words are no longer the polite alienation before, nor the weak dependence in illness, but are soaked with some heavier and true emotions after being touched.

Ye Qiulan shook his head and wanted to say something, but felt his throat was tight.She just looked at Ling Xueqing, at her face that looked extremely pale but also extremely clear under the light, and at the wave of emotions in her eyes that had not yet completely calmed down.

Ling Xueqing avoided her gaze, lowered her head again, and began to pack the remaining things.The movement was much slower and gentler than before, and no longer had the tight force that seemed to break at any time.

Ye Qiulan also stood up and helped silently.Neither of them spoke anymore.But the air in the classroom seemed to have undergone some subtle changes.The previous emptiness and exhaustion after the bustling was gone was replaced by a quieter, but also closer, silent atmosphere.Just like after a heavy rain, although the ground is muddy, the sky is washed with a clear and wet tranquility.

The rain outside the window is still falling.It was getting darker.

When the last exhibit was properly packed and the last carton was sealed with tape, Classroom 107 completely returned to its original emptiness and silence.The pale light of the fluorescent lamp illuminated the bare desks and dark green velvet.

Ling Xueqing carried her canvas bag and held the special cylinder containing the most precious exhibits in her hand.She walked to the door of the classroom, stopped, turned around, and looked at Ye Qiulan, who was still standing in the middle of the classroom.

Her face was still a little pale, but her eyes had regained most of their calmness, but there seemed to be something inexplicable beneath the silence, like the glimmer of light that slowly settled after being stirred at the bottom of a deep pool.

“Let’s go.” She said, her voice returned to calmness, but it was a little more imperceptible than before… softer?

Ye Qiulan nodded, picked up the big cardboard box he was responsible for, and followed her out of the classroom.

The corridor was empty and dimly lit.Their footsteps echoed in the silence, one after the other, unhurried.

When she reached the stairs, Ling Xueqing stopped again.She didn’t look back, just turned her face slightly and said in a low voice:

“Today…thank you.”

After saying that, she took the lead and walked down the stairs.In the dim light, his back was still upright, but it no longer seemed like it had before, with a kind of aloofness and coldness that alienated people from thousands of miles away.

Ye Qiulan stood at the top of the stairs, watching her walk down step by step until she disappeared around the corner.The weight of the cardboard box in my arms was heavy, and my heart was heavy, but it was no longer the sour and helpless heaviness before, but a more complex heaviness, mixed with distress, warmth, throbbing, and a trace of… a clearly budding, unprecedented sense of closeness.

The rain outside the window seemed to really stop.Only the remaining water on the eaves is still dripping intermittently and lonely.

despair.despair.despair.

Like some kind of slow but steady beat that taps on the heart.