When The Snow Falls In Autumn Chapter 54

Chapter 54

The morning light is not the kind that bursts out in a sudden burst, but very slowly and carefully, seeping out bit by bit from behind the stubborn lead-gray clouds on the eastern skyline.First it was a very light, almost invisible gray, then smudged with a faint fish belly white, and finally a few wisps of thin, almost transparent golden light leaked out, silently climbing up the window sill of the high-rise dormitory of the graduate apartment, climbing over the edge of the plain curtains, and with great reluctance, casting a small blurred bright spot with unclear edges on the excessively smooth floor of Ling Xueqing’s room.

The scene in the room was dimly outlined by the faint skylight.The desk, bookcase, and bed are still silent in the silence of last night.The dryness of the sick fever in the air has subsided a lot, replaced by the unique coolness of the morning, and the very faint bitter smell of medicine that has not yet dissipated.

Ye Qiulan regained consciousness in a semi-stiff posture.Her neck was sore from leaning on the back of the chair for a long time, and her back was numb.The eyelids were opened heavily, and the vision was blurry at first, and then gradually focused.

The first thing that caught his eye was the direction of Ling Xueqing’s bed.The figure under the thin gray quilt seemed to have changed his posture. He was no longer in the huddled defensive posture last night, but was lying flat with the quilt covering his chest. One hand was resting on his side, and the other… was placed on his forehead, covering less than half of his face.She slept deeply, and her breathing was long and steady. It was much better than the heavy and difficult breathing last night.The antipyretic patch on my forehead had fallen off at some point and was sticking to the pillow crookedly.

Ye Qiulan’s heart calmed down a little.She endured the pain all over her body, stood up very gently, and moved her stiff limbs.His eyes subconsciously drifted to the desk again. The open notebook with the map on it was still there, and the cap of the pen was still uncovered.

She walked over, hesitated for a moment, then gently closed the hard cover of the notebook, carefully capped the pen and put it back into the pen holder.It seems that in this way, the heavy loneliness and unresolved doubts that I accidentally glimpsed last night can be sealed away and returned to their owners.

After doing this, she looked at Ling Xueqing.The morning light became brighter again, and I could see her face more clearly.Most of the sickly flushing has faded away, leaving only a bit of tired paleness. The lips are still dry, but they are no longer that scary gray.The hand placed on his forehead had long knuckles, and the skin was almost transparent in the dim light.

Ye Qiulan walked over gently, squatted beside the bed, stretched out his hand, and wanted to test the temperature of her forehead.Just when his fingertips were about to touch that piece of skin, they stopped hesitantly.The hot, tight touch on her wrist last night was still vividly imprinted in her memory.

The moment she hesitated, the eyelashes of the person on the bed trembled, and then he slowly opened his eyes.

Ling Xueqing’s eyes were blank and empty at first, reflecting the thin skylight outside the window, without focus.After a few seconds, the emptiness receded like a tide, and was quickly replaced by the usual calm and sobriety.Her eyes turned, first landing on the face of Ye Qiulan who was very close at hand, and she was slightly startled. Then she glanced across the room and landed on the quilt covering herself and the skewed anti-pyretic patch on her pillow.

The memory seems to come back instantly.She blinked, her long and thick eyelashes fluttering gently like frightened butterfly wings.

“…Have you been here all this time?” Ling Xueqing said, her voice was hoarse as if she had just woken up, with a strong nasal sound, but it was much clearer than the frail and weak voice last night.

Ye Qiulan took back his hand hanging in the air and nodded awkwardly.”Well. How do you… feel? Do you still have a fever?” She stood up, took a small step back, and distanced herself a little.

Ling Xueqing didn’t answer immediately. She supported her body and seemed to want to sit up.His movements were a little slow, with a hint of weakness after illness.Ye Qiulan subconsciously wanted to reach out to help her, but stopped halfway.Ling Xueqing was already sitting on the head of the bed, panting slightly.

“Much better.” She whispered, raising her hand to rub her temples, her brows furrowed slightly, and she seemed a little dazed.Her eyes fell on Ye Qiulan again. From her slightly wrinkled shirt, she saw the faint green shadow under her eyes, and stayed for a few seconds.”…Thank you.” These two words were spoken softly but clearly.

Ye Qiulan shook his head.”It’s okay. Are you… hungry? Shall I buy some breakfast? Or cook some porridge?” She thought of Ling Xueqing’s room, which was too tidy and didn’t look like it was overheated, and added, “Use your small electric pot, if you have one.”

Ling Xueqing was silent for a moment and glanced at an inconspicuous small cabinet in the corner of the room.”You have rice, it’s in the cupboard. If it’s trouble…”

“It’s no trouble.” Ye Qiulan said immediately, his tone was urgent even he didn’t realize it.She needed to do something to break the slightly awkward silence after waking up, and to dispel the unclarified mess in her heart.”Just wait a moment, it will be over soon.”

She walked to the small cabinet and opened it.Sure enough, there was a small rice cooker, a bag of unopened rice, and several sealed jars containing things like red dates and wolfberries neatly placed inside.Everything was in order, showing Ling Xuequing’s rigor.

She took out the rice cooker and its inner pot, washed the rice, added water, and grabbed a handful of red dates and wolfberries from the jar and put them in.The movements are not skillful, but very careful.Plug in the power and press the porridge button. A slight buzzing sound sounded in the silent room, bringing a touch of life like human fireworks.

After doing this, she turned around.Ling Xueqing was leaning on the bedside, looking at her quietly.The morning light became brighter again, cutting through the gap in the curtains and cutting a soft strip of light on her pale side face.Her eyes were not as bottomless as usual, but rather empty and tired, as if she had not had time to put on that hard shell again after recovering from a serious illness.

“Um…” Ye Qiulan said hesitantly and pointed in the direction of the desk, “Your notebook… I closed it for you. The pen was also covered.”

Ling Xueqing’s eyes followed her fingers to the desk, and her eyes flickered almost imperceptibly.She said “hmm” and didn’t say anything. She just put her fingers on the quilt and curled up unconsciously.

“The map…” Ye Qiulan mustered up his courage and said in a very soft voice, “Is this the place you…have been looking for?”

Ling Xueqing was silent for a long time.It took so long that Ye Qiulan almost thought she wouldn’t answer.The only sounds in the room were the low hum of the rice cooker and the gradually clear chirping of early birds outside the window.

“It’s the place in my mother’s memory.” Ling Xueqing finally spoke, her voice flat and without any emotion. “Many place names are no longer on the current map. Rivers changed their courses, villages merged, or simply… disappeared.” She paused and looked at the gradually brightening sky outside the window. “Sometimes she spoke clearly, and sometimes it was very confusing. I just drew everything I remembered.”

She said it simply, but Ye Qiulan could imagine the hardship and loneliness behind it.Between the mother’s broken words and the annihilation of reality, stroke by stroke, I try to restore a river that has long since dried up, and a village that has long since collapsed.It’s not just a map, it’s a daughter trying to salvage her mother’s sinking past, and it’s also her own obsession with “roots” that has nowhere to be placed.

“Then…’Yiyun Pavilion’ and Zhaojiaba…” Ye Qiulan hesitated, but still asked, “Are you still investigating?”

Ling Xueqing turned back and looked at her.In those always calm eyes, there seemed to be a trace of extremely complex emotions passing through at this moment, including scrutiny, measurement, and perhaps a hint of discomfort at being touched in the private realm, but in the end they all settled down and turned into a deeper calm.

“I just make some notes out of habit.” She said evasively, her tone returning to her usual indifferent tone, “The report is over, but the clue itself is still valuable. As a personal interest, I think about it occasionally.”

personal interest.The weak expectation in Ye Qiulan’s heart was gently extinguished again.Sure enough, Ling Xueqing did not intend to share her deeper doubts and pursuits with her.She was still outside that clear line.

The rice cooker made a soft beep and the porridge was ready.

Ye Qiulan stopped asking and turned around to serve the porridge.The aroma of rice mixed with the faint sweetness of red dates and wolfberry filled the room.She filled a small bowl, brought it to the bedside, and placed it on the bedside table to dry.

“Be careful of the burn,” she said.

Ling Xueqing watched her doing this meticulously, her slightly lowered eyelashes and her focused profile, her lips moving as if she wanted to say something.But in the end, she just said softly: “You should eat some too.”

“I’ll wait for you to finish eating.” Ye Qiulan shook his head and sat down again on the chair next to him.

Ling Xueqing didn’t insist anymore, picked up the bowl of porridge at a moderate temperature, and ate it in small bites.Her eating posture was still graceful, and even though she was weak after the illness, her movements were not panicky.The sunlight moved a little further, illuminating her long and bony fingers holding the porcelain spoon.

The only sound left in the room was the faint sound of clinking spoons and bowls.The atmosphere was no longer as tense as before, but filled with a deeper, silent stagnation.The dependence and tightness during the illness last night, the alienation and reservation when I woke up in the morning, the lonely pursuit on the map, and the understatement of “personal interest”… all of these are like layers of transparent films, superimposed between the two of them.We can see each other, but we can’t touch the real inside.

Ye Qiulan looked at Ling Xueqing quietly drinking porridge, looking at her drooped eyelids and bloodless lips. The sour mess in his heart, instead of being untied by the bright light, became even tighter and denser.

She knew something was different.From the moment Ling Xuequing subconsciously grabbed her wrist while she was ill, from the moment she saw the map soaked in loneliness, from the moment Ling Xuequing sat in the morning light and quietly drank the porridge she cooked, everything was different.

But what’s the difference?Where will it go?

She doesn’t know.Just like the long-lost place names marked with question marks on Ling Xueqing’s map, and the river named “Qingrui” that only exists in piles of old papers and broken memories, their whereabouts are a mystery and their traces are hard to find.

The chirping of birds outside the window became even louder.A new day, with its inherent and unquestionable rhythm, has begun.In the room, the warm smell of porridge slowly rose. In the morning light and silence, the two people with their own concerns maintained the fragile and estranged calm that had just gone through the baptism of illness.