When The Snow Falls In Autumn Chapter 45

Chapter 45

In the small conference room in the hospital office building, the air conditioner was turned on at full blast, and the air-conditioning blew out from the vents and hit the exposed skin, stirring up a layer of fine particles.There were about ten people sitting at the long oval table, most of them professors and associate professors with gray or half-white hair, and only a few young graduate students.The air was filled with tea, paper, and a certain old-fashioned solemn atmosphere belonging to academic authority.

Ye Qiulan sat at the end of the door, his back straight, his hands on his knees, his fingertips cold.She was wearing the only formal light blue shirt. The cuffs had been ironed, but they were wrinkled by her unconsciousness at the moment.The canvas bag lay at her feet, containing a hard copy of the final report and a summary of all the references she had prepared just in case.

Her eyes passed through the artificially green potted plant in the center of the long table and landed on the opposite front position.

Ling Xueqing sat there.Today she wore a white short-sleeved shirt with crisp material and the top button was buttoned meticulously. Her long dark hair was tied into a neat ponytail behind her head, revealing her clear jawline and white neck.Her sitting posture was impeccable, her back straight, her shoulders relaxed but not slumped. Her eyes fell calmly on the laptop and a bound report spread out in front of her. There was no expression on her face, only the slightly pursed lip line, revealing a trace of her usual concentration.

This is an internal review meeting for the report of their research team on the collection of “Hedong Collection”.According to the process, Ling Xueqing, as the main reporter, needs to explain the core content, research methods and main conclusions of the report within twenty minutes, and then accept questions from the teachers present.

Ye Qiulan’s heart was beating erratically in his chest, and his palms were covered in sweat.Even though Ling Xueqing had already polished the report to perfection, even though they had rehearsed it several times, and even though Ling Xueqing only said “just perform normally” in her message last night, when she was actually sitting here, facing a room full of teachers from academia, the invisible pressure still came down heavily.Especially, after the incident in the library.

The person presiding over the meeting was Professor Li of Literature, an old gentleman known for his strictness.He cleared his throat, and the small chatter in the conference room immediately stopped.

“Then, let’s get started. Classmate Ling Xueqing, you come first.”

Ling Xueqing nodded slightly and stood up.She did not speak immediately, but first adjusted the angle of the microphone in front of her, her movements calm and leisurely.Then, her eyes slowly swept across the teachers present, and finally, seemingly briefly, they rested on Ye Qiulan’s face for a tenth of a second.

“Hello, teachers. The title of our group’s report is “A Study of the ‘Yiyun Pavilion’ and a New Exploration into the Lost Directions of Liu Zongyuan’s Collection of Lost Landscape Poems and Essays.'” Her voice came out through the microphone, clear and steady, with her unique chilly texture, echoing in the quiet conference room, grabbing everyone’s attention at once.

She began to elaborate.Starting from the loss and research status of Liu Zongyuan’s landscape poems, we introduce the sporadic records of the “Yiyun Pavilion” in local chronicles, and then how they construct the mutual support of multiple documents such as “Chenghua Huguang Tongzhi” and “Yongzhou Prefecture Chronicles”.This paper starts the chain of evidence that the “Yiyun Pavilion” served as a recreational place for literati in the Tang Dynasty (possibly including Liu Zongyuan), and uses this as a fulcrum to explore the new geographical and documentary possibilities of searching for Liu Zongyuan’s lost landscape poems and essays in the Guixi River Basin.

Her speaking speed is neither too fast nor too slow, and her logic progresses layer by layer. There is solid literature support behind each conclusion.The names, volumes, and page numbers of the cited ancient books are readily available and accurate.When it comes to the key points, she will call up the pictures on her computer to show the marks of “Guixi” and “Yiyun” on ancient maps, or relevant written records in local chronicles.Her fingers slid on the touch pad, guiding everyone’s gaze, with a confident and calm posture.

Ye Qiulan listened with bated breath, and the tension in his heart was gradually replaced by a mixture of admiration and sourness.Ling Xueqing seemed to be a different person on the stage.The usually taciturn Ling Xueqing who wrapped her emotions tightly is gone, replaced by a narrator who has clear ideas, powerful words, and speaks freely in her academic field.The light fell on her, and the white shirt was almost dazzling. The lines of her profile looked extremely clear and firm in the light and shadow.

Such Ling Xueqing’s light is too bright and the distance is too far.Ye Qiulan suddenly realized clearly that what separated them was not just the physical differences between Alpha and Beta, not just the silence and gentleness of their personalities, but also the calmness and control that Ling Xueqing showed in public, which she might never be able to match.Ling Xueqing belongs here, on the podium, and in the center of academic discussion.And I was more like a bystander hiding in the corner who was accidentally swept by her light.

The sourness came up thinly and got stuck in my throat.

Ling Xueqing’s statement came to an end.”…To sum up, we believe that although the clues of ‘Yiyun Pavilion’ cannot directly point to a specific lost article by Liu Zongyuan, it provides a new and practical research path for us to systematically search for his lost landscape poems and articles in a specific geographical space, combined with multiple evidences such as local epigraphy, epitaphs, and folk genealogies. If the report is inappropriate, please criticize and correct it.”

After she finished speaking, she bowed slightly and sat down.The conference room was quiet for a second or two, and then there were a few coughs of approval and the rustling of report papers.

Professor Li adjusted his glasses, his face expressionless but his eyes sharp.”The argument is clear and the documentation is solid. It’s good that young people can calm down and do this kind of research.” He paused and changed the subject. “However, your report mentioned the ‘Guixi River Basin’ as a key search area, which is mainly based on local records of the Ming and Qing Dynasties. However, the geographical environment and water system distribution in the Tang and Song Dynasties may be very different from those in the Ming and Qing Dynasties. In this regard, when you were demonstrating, have you considered the uncertainty caused by historical and geographical changes? How can you ensure that the ‘key areas’ you delineate are not trying to find a sword?”

The questions are sharp and point to potential flaws in the core assumptions.Ye Qiulan’s heart lifted.

Ling Xueqing seemed to have been prepared.She did not panic, or even think too much, and immediately answered: “This point raised by Teacher Li is very important. We have actually considered it in the report. In the notes in Appendix 2, we quoted relevant chapters of “Shui Jing Zhu” and historical geography research papers in recent years to preliminarily discuss the stability of the river channels of the tributaries of the Xiang River from the Tang and Song Dynasties to the Ming and Qing Dynasties. Guixi is a secondary tributary of the Xiang River, and its main channel was in the historical period.Although there is a swing, based on both geological and documentary evidence, the changes in the main mountain topography and the direction of some tributaries in the basin are relatively limited.The ‘key area’ we proposed is a relatively broad possibility space based on existing documentary records and topographic features, rather than precise coordinates.If subsequent field surveys or in-depth literature review are conducted, historical geographical changes will definitely be taken into consideration.”

Her answer was neither humble nor arrogant. She acknowledged the existence of the problem, pointed out the existing response thoughts in the report, and pointed out the direction of future research.The logic is strict and watertight.

Professor Li nodded slightly and did not ask any more questions.

Then other teachers started asking questions.Some asked about the reliability of a certain epitaph material cited in the report, some asked whether the indirect connection between “Yiyun Pavilion” and Liu Zongyuan would affect the persuasiveness of the conclusion, and some asked how the value of this research direction would be reflected if no more evidence is found in the future.

Questions came one after another, some mild, some sharp.Ling Xueqing always remained calm, sometimes quickly operating the computer to pull up screenshots of relevant literature, sometimes quoting a scholar’s point of view to support, sometimes frankly pointing out that there was indeed a possibility of an inference in the report and more evidence was needed to support it.Her reaction speed, knowledge reserve and ability to adapt to the situation made many teachers present show admiration.

Ye Qiulan was listening beside him, his palms no longer sweating, but the feeling of distance in his heart became clearer and clearer.She watched Ling Xueqing deal with the problems with ease that made her scalp numb just listening to them, watched her be scrutinized, questioned, and even praised by the eyes of academic authorities, watched her fight alone on this battlefield that belonged to her, and dealt with it with ease.

Although my own postscript about the discovery and arrangement of clues to the “Yun Yun Pavilion” was also bound at the back of the report, it seemed so insignificant at the moment.That was just an accidental and lucky footnote within the framework of Ling Xueqing’s grand argument.Even the theft incident in the library that made her uneasy seemed to be far outside the orbit of the academic inquiry that Ling Xueqing needed to deal with at the moment, and not worth mentioning.

A mixture of inferiority, loss, and a deeper sadness that even she didn’t want to clearly identify slowly penetrated her limbs.She even hoped that the review would end soon so that she could escape from this scene where she was so clearly aware of her own insignificance and powerlessness.

Finally, the question and answer session came to an end.Professor Li looked around: “Are there any other questions?”

A female teacher who had not spoken much, surnamed Chen, whose research direction was ancient literature, suddenly said: “Classmate Ling Xueqing, the overall quality of the report and your on-site performance are excellent. I only have a more personal curiosity,” her tone was more easy-going, “It is mentioned in the report that the clue that first attracted your attention to the ‘Yi Yun Pavilion’ was a book of prescriptionsThere are vague records about “Guixi” and “Yiyun” in the journal.I turned to the appendix and found that the original discovery was made by classmate Ye Qiulan.” She turned to Ye Qiulan with a gentle smile, “Classmate Ye, can you briefly explain how you noticed this clue?It’s just out of curiosity, because that journal seems to be uncommon.”

Everyone’s eyes instantly focused on Ye Qiulan.

There was a “buzz” in Ye Qiulan’s head, the blood seemed to rush to the top of his head, and his cheeks instantly burned.She didn’t expect that a teacher would suddenly ask her by name, or it would be such a seemingly casual question, but in fact it would directly push her to the front of the stage.She opened her mouth, but her throat seemed to be blocked by something and she couldn’t make a sound.His hands and feet were cold, and any words he had prepared before were completely forgotten.

She could feel Ling Xueqing’s gaze cast over her, with a hint of imperceptible…concern?Or something else?She didn’t dare to look up to confirm.

The conference room was silent, waiting for her answer, and the silence almost crushed her.

“Teacher Chen,” Ling Xueqing’s voice rang out at the right time, and she took over the conversation smoothly, “I happened to see the “Yongzhou Old News Collection” in the ancient books reading room before. I thought it might be of reference value for the study of Liu Zongyuan’s scope of activities during the Yongzhou period, so I recommended it to classmate Ye Qiulan and asked her to help pay attention to the records of hydrological monuments. She read it very carefully and indeed found key clues from it. The specific discovery process is explained in detail in the appendix of the report.”

Her words cleverly attributed the credit for the “discovery” to Ye Qiulan’s “careful reading”, and at the same time pointed out her initial “recommendation” role, which not only affirmed Ye Qiulan, but also did not seem abrupt.More importantly, she rescued Ye Qiulan and directed the impromptu answer that might embarrass Ye Qiulan to the note to the report that already had a written explanation.

Teacher Chen smiled and nodded: “That’s it. The two students cooperate very well.”

The pressure suddenly disappeared, Ye Qiulan seemed to be exhausted, and a layer of cold sweat broke out on his back.She lowered her head, clutching the fabric on her knees tightly with her fingers, her heart still beating fast.Ling Xueqing answered for her, her tone was so natural and her reasons were so sufficient, it easily resolved her embarrassment.But why didn’t she feel relieved at being rescued? Instead, the sourness in her heart became more turbulent, almost drowning her?

Is it because Ling Xueqing can always handle everything so appropriately?Is it because I can’t even deal with such a simple problem, and do I still need Ling Xueqing to “fix the aftermath”?Or was it because… Ling Xueqing’s words, although they solved the problem for her, once again clearly defined the position between them – Ling Xueqing was the leader and decision-maker, and she was just the executor who was guided and responsible for “careful reading”?

The review meeting ended in a relatively harmonious atmosphere.The teachers chatted in low voices, got up and left one after another.Ling Xueqing also closed her computer, packed her things, and walked over.

“Let’s go.” She said softly to Ye Qiulan, who was still sitting stiffly on the chair.

Ye Qiulan woke up from a dream and stood up in a hurry, almost knocking over the chair.She hurriedly grabbed the canvas bag at her feet, lowered her head, and followed Ling Xueqing out of the air-conditioned conference room.

In the corridor outside, the sun is blazing and the air is hot and dry, completely different from the coolness indoors.The sudden change in light and temperature made Ye Qiulan a little dizzy.

Ling Xueqing walked half a step ahead of her without speaking.Her back remained straight in the bright sunlight, and her white shirt was spotless.

Only when she reached the corner of the stairs, where there were few people, did Ling Xueqing slow down and look back at her.

“Just now,” her voice was calm and emotionless, “Teacher Chen just asked casually, without any intention of embarrassment. You don’t need to take it to heart.”

Ye Qiulan raised his head and looked at Ling Xueqing’s face close at hand.Her eyes were calm, even gentle, but in that gentleness was a condescending and insightful calmness.She saw through her nervousness and embarrassment, so she came to the rescue, and now she offered words of comfort. Everything was done so properly, so… Ling Xueqing’s way.

But it was this impeccable “goodness” that, like a thin needle, accurately pierced the thin layer of calm that could barely be maintained in Ye Qiulan’s heart.

“I know.” Ye Qiulan heard his voice, dry and unfamiliar, “Thank you.”

Ling Xueqing looked at her slightly red eyes and tightly pursed lips, and was silent for a moment.Her fingertips unconsciously touched the cuffs of her shirt.

“The report itself has received a good response.” She changed the topic, her tone still stating the facts. “Although Professor Li is strict, he just told me privately that the argument is solid and innovative. It will be helpful if I apply for related research projects or publish it in the future.”

“Yeah.” Ye Qiulan responded, his eyes falling on the thin dust accumulated on the handrail of the stairs.

There was another moment of silence.There were other students going up and down the stairwell, their footsteps thumping.

“In the evening…” Ling Xueqing suddenly spoke, then paused, seemingly hesitant, “There is a new window opened in the cafeteria, and it is said to be good. Do you want to try it?”

This is an invitation.A very everyday, almost friend-to-friend invitation.In the past, Ye Qiulan might have felt a secret joy because of this small initiative.But at this moment, the invitation fell on her heart that was soaked in sourness, but it didn’t stir up any ripples. Instead, it felt more like… pity?Or was it just a routine “appeasement” after Ling Xuequing completed an important task?

“I… have something to do tonight.” Ye Qiulan heard his answer in a low voice, “I made an appointment with my roommate.”

Ling Xueqing nodded without any strange expression on her face, as if this answer was expected by her.”Okay.” She said, “Then…I’ll leave first.”

She turned around and walked down the stairs.The white figure quickly disappeared around the corner.

Ye Qiulan stood there without moving.The afternoon sun shines through the tall windows, casting bright and dark spots on the stairwell.Dust floated in the air, slowly rotating in the beam of light.

She slowly squatted down and buried her face in her arms.The rough fabric of the canvas bag rubbed against her cheek.In her chest, the sour torrent finally broke through all the dams and surged up, making her eyes feel hot and the tip of her nose sore.

She knew that Ling Xueqing was not wrong.Ling Xueqing has always been good, calm, strong, and thoughtful. She is a reliable partner in academics and a silent support in difficult situations.But it was this impeccable goodness, this posture that always clearly defined boundaries and was always in a dominant position, that made her feel a deep sense of powerlessness and loneliness.

What she wants may never be a perfect academic report, a successful review, or a rescue and maintenance.What she wants is something that is more equal, closer, and more able to touch the true temperature under the other person’s cold shell.

But what is that?She couldn’t tell.Perhaps, just like the “Qing Rui” that disappeared on the historical map, we clearly know that it once existed, flowed, and nourished, but the exact river course and traces can no longer be found, leaving only a name that feels lost, and an empty river bed that has been lost to time.

The footsteps on the stairwell were far away and then closer.Someone passed by, looked at her curiously, and then hurried away.

She took a few deep breaths and forced herself to push back the sour tears.Then, she stood up, patted the dust on her pants, put her canvas bag on her back, and walked slowly down the stairs step by step.

Outside the window, the campus radio station began to play soft music, and dusk was approaching.