When The Snow Falls In Autumn Chapter 26

Chapter 26

The metal buckle of the constant humidity book box made a final crisp closing sound under Ling Xueqing’s fingers. The lingering sound briefly echoed among the bookshelves in the silent reading area, and was then swallowed up by an even greater silence.Holding the book box in her arms, she walked toward the Ancient Books Department with her back straight and steady steps, without any sign of hesitation or looking back. Like a calm dotted line with a set trajectory, she neatly cut off the thrilling accident and all unfinished words behind her.

Ye Qiulan stood there, watching the figure disappear at the end of the narrow passage formed by two rows of dark brown bookshelves standing high above the ground, as if it had been sucked in by some invisible force, and disappeared without a trace.The unique silence of the library in the morning, mixed with dust and old paper, regrouped and enveloped her, as well as the remaining air on the table with the slightly fishy smell of reinforcement fluid, and the drum-like heartbeat in her chest that had not yet subsided.

She slowly sat back on the chair, her fingers curled up unconsciously, and her fingertips were cold.His eyes fell on the empty seat opposite, where there were still extremely fine wrinkles in the fabric that Ling Xueqing made when he sat down.On the table, the sun was slowly creeping over the restored record book she had just signed, and the black ink stains reflected slightly in the light.

“Don’t worry.”

Ling Xueqing’s last words were like a pebble washed out extremely smooth by the river, weighing heavily on her heart.The tone is so calm, even with a hint of business-like detachment, and he easily resolves a thrilling adventure with danger at his fingertips into a “no problem” that there is no need to worry about.But the more he was understated, the more Ye Qiulan felt an almost suffocating heaviness.It was a cold feeling of isolation, of being completely demarcated and excluded from worries and responsibilities.Ling Xueqing protected her in her own way, but also used the same barrier to push her away.

Ye Qiulan lowered his head and looked at his empty hands.It was these hands that held the pen unsteadily just now, almost causing a big mistake.It was also these hands that were held briefly and firmly by Ling Xueqing’s warm fingers, and then released.The touch seems to still remain in the palm of the hand, slightly cool, stable, and with unquestionable power.But now, there is only the coolness of the void.

She took a deep breath and tried to exhale the stagnant feeling stuck in her chest, but she only felt more stuffy.The leaves of the camphor tree outside the window swayed in the wind, and the falling light spots flickered on the back of her hand.In the distance, there was a faint sound of the cabinet door opening and closing in the direction of the ancient books department, as well as the vague syllables of the administrator’s low-pitched conversation.Ling Xueqing should be handling the temporary storage and handover of ancient books.

It’s time for her to go.Just like Ling Xueqing said, “It’s time to get off work.”But the body seemed to be nailed to this chair, unable to move.It seems that once you leave this corner where the clear breath of snow is still lingering, and all the panic and silence remain, some vague and turbulent things that have just been touched will completely dissipate like morning fog, and no trace can be left.

Time flows thickly in silence.I don’t know how long it took, maybe only a few minutes, maybe longer, until the sound in the ancient books department completely subsided, and until the morning sunlight shifted the light spot on the table by a significant amount, Ye Qiulan seemed to wake up from a long period of panic.

She stood up slowly.His movements were a little stiff, and his knees made a slight sound.She began to finally pack her things.Put the notebook and pencil case into the canvas bag and zip it up.Her fingers touched the folded light gray cardigan in the bag. The soft wool-blend fabric clung to her fingertips, carrying her body temperature and the clean soapy scent of laundry detergent after being washed. It no longer smelled like a library or Ling Xueqing.

She slung the canvas bag over her shoulders and pulled the straps over her shoulders.The weight is very light, but it seems to carry an indescribable weight.

One last look at the desktop.It was clean, with nothing else but the closed restoration record book.Even the drop of reinforcement fluid that almost caused disaster seemed to have never existed.Everything was restored to order, just like Ling Xueqing’s usual style.

She turned around and walked towards the exit of the reading area.The footsteps landed on the smooth ground, and the sound was very soft, but to her own ears, it was extremely clear.Passing through the rows of silent bookshelves, passing through the light beams outlined by dust that slanted down from the high windows, passing through a few students who were immersed in books and were completely unaware of her.

Pushing open the heavy oak door, light and sound from outside instantly flooded in.The midday sun was a bit dazzling, bringing with it the rising heat of early summer.People coming and going on campus, talking and laughing, bicycle bells ringing, and the noise of the stadium in the distance create a lively and noisy background.It seemed like two different worlds from the corner she had just left, soaked in the smell of old books and frightened silence.

She stood on the steps in front of the library and squinted her eyes to adjust to the light.Subconsciously, his eyes turned towards the wing where the Ancient Books Department was located.The red brick walls were silent, the windows reflected the bright white skylight, and nothing could be seen.

Ling Xueqing should have left, right?Go back to her East Side apartment, or go to the lab, or whatever else she had planned.Always so methodical and never sloppy.

Ye Qiulan withdrew his gaze and walked down the steps.The camphor trees on the avenue cast dense shadows, and the wind blew, bringing with it the sound of rustling leaves and the faint fragrance of flowers.She walked slowly along the shade of the trees, her steps a little hasty.Every detail of the morning was replayed in my mind uncontrollably: Ling Xueching’s attentive profile with her head lowered to check the paper, her steady fingers when handing over the water glass, the slow motion of the brush falling out of control, and finally… the back without any pause when she left with the book box in her arms.

Every time I play it back, the heavy feeling in my heart becomes clearer.It wasn’t just guilt or fear, it was mixed with more things that she couldn’t figure out at the moment – the shock of Ling Xuequing’s almost instinctive protection, the confusion and secret throbbing of that different breath from the past, the sting of the cold boundary behind the words “don’t worry”, and the feeling of powerlessness that she couldn’t grasp any conclusive words and could only let silence swallow her.

She reached a fork in the road.One side leads to the West District dormitory and the bus station outside the campus, heading home.On the other side, through a small forest and experimental area, you can go around to the East End graduate apartment.

The steps stopped.She stood in the shade of the tree, looking at the particularly quiet path to the east that was covered by branches and leaves.The heartbeat beats the eardrums loudly in the quiet afternoon.

To the East End?Going to find Ling Xueqing?What to say?Apologize again?Or should I ask her if her hand is really okay?Or…ask something else, ask about those things that are swirling in the bottom of your heart but never dare to be expressed with your mouth?

The thought shot up like wildfire, burning her cheeks and making her breath short.But then, Ling Xueqing’s last calm, even distant look was like a basin of ice water poured down on his head.

“Don’t worry.”

The words rang out again, cold and clear.

Ye Qiulan tightened his grip on the strap of the canvas bag, digging his nails into his palms, causing a slight sting.She closed her eyes, and when she opened them again, the faint fire that was ignited by impulse in her eyes had been completely extinguished, leaving only a deeper silence that was a mixture of exhaustion and resignation.

She turned around, stopped looking at the road to the east, and walked toward the west side.The steps were firmer than before, but also heavier.

The sun shines through the gaps between the branches and leaves, casting jumping light spots on her body.Behind him, the tall silhouette of the library gradually faded away, disappearing behind the lush greenery of early summer.And ahead, the long afternoon had just begun, with all the known heaviness and unknown confusion, spreading silently at her feet.Only the washed cardigan in the canvas bag on her shoulder occasionally rubbed her back gently as she walked, like a silent, faded mark.