What’S Wrong With Just Eating His Majesty’S Soft Rice? Chapter 9

Chapter 9: I Wouldn’t Go to Ancient Times Even if You Killed Me!

Zhou Yinli’s expression turned a bit sour after being scolded, but he didn’t say anything.

“However,” Fang Cheng teased with a grin, “that girl was pretty good-looking. Why didn’t you agree? Oh right, you don’t have a phone. Hahaha.”

Zhou Yinli said coldly, “That level of beauty is quite ordinary. Any random palace maid would be better than her. Besides, that woman had a foul temperament.”

Fang Cheng thought to himself, it seems the women at your institution have completely warped your sense of aesthetics. That wasn’t good-looking? If she had asked for his contact info, he definitely would have given it!

What was Zhou Yinli talking about, palace maids? Were they played by nurses? Were they that beautiful? He actually wanted to go see for himself now. Maybe when he sent him back to the mental hospital, he could catch a glimpse of those pretty nurses.

The two of them continued their hot pot. As two grown men with large appetites, they finished the meal only for Fang Cheng to realize at the checkout that two hundred and fifty wasn’t enough; he had to shell out an extra fifty. Fortunately, he didn’t care much about spending money on food and drink, and he had enjoyed the meal himself. He was generous enough not to hold it against Zhou Yinli.

When they stepped out of the shop, the streetlights were a warm orange. The night breeze was still comfortable, much like when they first met yesterday.

Just as Fang Cheng was about to leave, he heard a somewhat familiar female voice: “Brother Zhen, that’s the man. He harassed me in the hot pot restaurant and even cursed at me.”

Fang Cheng looked up and saw the woman from earlier leaning against a tall, burly man who looked very familiar. Several younger lackeys with familiar faces followed beside him.

Brother Zhen looked over, a hint of surprise flashing across his face. He scanned the surroundings before letting out a smirk. “I wondered who it was. So it’s you, Chengzi. You kid, there’s only two of you today, yet you dare to harass my girlfriend? You’ve got some nerve.”

Fang Cheng’s heart skipped a beat. Hearing that tone, he knew this wouldn’t end well today. Explaining was useless; when a man was trying to act tough in front of a woman, he wouldn’t listen to a word.

He quickly weighed the combat power of both sides. He could handle two people at most, and that was assuming he took a fair share of hits. That left four more.

He glanced at the empty-handed Zhou Yinli. He was great with a sword, but he didn’t know how he fared in a fistfight.

Regardless, with so many opponents, he had to make a quick decision. Fang Cheng turned, grabbed Zhou Yinli, and said, “Run!”

As soon as they moved, Brother Zhen’s group moved as well. These thugs knew each other well; Brother Zhen knew Fang Cheng wanted to run the moment he blinked. He quickly ordered a few men to split up and give chase.

They were close to his home now, and Fang Cheng knew the roads well. He pulled Zhou Yinli along, running down the main road for a bit before ducking into the narrow alleys.

After running for a while, Zhou Yinli suddenly stopped.

Once Zhou Yinli stopped, Fang Cheng’s meager strength couldn’t budge him at all. Fang Cheng tugged twice more, but it was like pulling on a wall. He ended up exhausting himself instead.

Fang Cheng was anxious, gasping for breath as he looked back at Zhou Yinli. The sudden sprint had caused the usually sedentary Fang Cheng to break into a sweat, his face flushed as he stared at Zhou Yinli.

Zhou Yinli, after the run, looked perfectly calm. Not a single strand of hair was out of place. He looked down at his hand being held, then at Fang Cheng’s frantic face, his expression unreadable.

Seeing the footsteps behind them getting closer, Fang Cheng grew desperate. “What are you doing? Hurry up and escape!”

Zhou Yinli remained calm, looking down at something without a trace of tension.

Fang Cheng followed Zhou Yinli’s gaze and realized he was still clutching the other man’s fingers.

He had been gripping tightly without realizing it, turning the man’s hand red. Now that they had stopped, Fang Cheng felt a strange sensation. His own palms were smooth and soft from lack of hard labor, while Zhou Yinli’s palms had hard callouses that made his own skin itch slightly.

The friction between those callouses and his palm felt peculiar. Fang Cheng subconsciously moved his hand.

Zhou Yinli didn’t pull his hand away or react, but the way his palm relaxed was a clear sign of acceptance.

Fang Cheng found it interesting and couldn’t help but rub the callouses again; it felt a bit tingly.

Suddenly, Zhou Yinli yanked his hand back, his face showing a hint of startled anger. “You are audacious!”

As soon as he spoke, he was interrupted by Fang Cheng’s scowl. “What’s wrong with you? Don’t drag me down! Why did you stop? Run!”

Unfortunately, Fang Cheng realized it was too late. The men had already caught up and surrounded them. It was too late to run now. He glared at Zhou Yinli. It was all his fault for stopping so suddenly.

Zhou Yinli looked up, a trace of arrogance in his eyes. “Why should we run? They are no match for me.”

Fang Cheng didn’t believe him. He pointed at Zhou Yinli and cursed, “Like hell I believe you! If you want to fight, go ahead, but I’m not fighting. I’m a law-abiding citizen. What if the police come? You’ll just end up in the slammer!” He spoke with righteous indignation, completely forgetting that he used to get into group fights whenever the numbers were even.

Zhou Yinli sneered. “Then I shall kill them.”

Fang Cheng chuckled. A mentally ill person might not go to jail for killing, but he certainly would.

Seeing that Zhou Yinli still didn’t plan to leave, Fang Cheng pulled him and pointed to a camera flashing a red light at the corner of the street. “See that? There’s a surveillance camera. It’ll capture your face clearly. If you kill someone, you’re finished.”

After hearing this, Zhou Yinli stared at the camera thoughtfully. “What if I do not take their lives, but merely inflict light injuries?”

Before Fang Cheng could reply, Brother Zhen and his men were right in front of them. They were holding iron bars from who-knows-where, looking extremely arrogant.

“If you are afraid the police will catch us for fighting, why aren’t they afraid?” Zhou Yinli asked again. “It seems the laws of this land do not constrain everyone.”

Fang Cheng froze for a moment, thinking this mental patient was actually quite logical. “Self-defense is okay, but you can’t go overboard, or you’ll still go to jail.”

“Run, why aren’t you running anymore?” Brother Zhen was panting harder than Fang Cheng had been. “You and this pretty boy have some nerve, laying hands on my girlfriend. You think you can run? I’m telling you, I won’t let you go no matter where you hide. Today, I’m going to make you both kneel and call me Grandpa!”

Fang Cheng felt a bit intimidated. Although he usually treated fighting like eating a meal, those were always group brawls. Right now, the combat power was too lopsided. It looked like he was going to take a beating. It was all the fault of this idiot Zhou Yinli! First, he looked too flashy, and then he didn’t run and got them caught!

What a jinx! But now wasn’t the time to blame Zhou Yinli; the biggest enemy was Brother Zhen.

He didn’t let his mouth lose out either. “Your girlfriend might be precious to you, but no one else wants her. She was clearly throwing herself at us and got ignored. Oh, I see, it’s because an ugly shriveled melon like you isn’t good enough for her. No wonder she looks down on you. You deserve to be cheated on. Unless you get plastic surgery, your girlfriend won’t even look at you without throwing up.”

Brother Zhen trembled with rage. He knew Fang Cheng had a foul mouth and regretted wasting words with him. He immediately cursed, “Fuck it! I’m going to beat you so hard your own mother won’t recognize you.” With that, he gave a signal, and his men rushed forward in a swarm.

Fang Cheng braced himself for the pain and prepared to strike back, but before he could react, he felt a shadow move beside him. His vision blurred.

In an instant, his ears were filled with screams of “Ow! Argh! Fuck! Help! My hand! My leg! Aaaaah!”

Fang Cheng looked up, staring blankly at the scene before him.

Zhou Yinli’s speed was incredibly fast, almost impossible to track with the naked eye. He only saw a black shadow weaving through the crowd. Every time he touched someone, the sound of breaking bones followed a scream.

When everything settled, Zhou Yinli stood tall among the group of men lying on the ground wailing. He looked at them as if they were mere ants.

It wasn’t until he looked up at Fang Cheng that a hint of warmth slowly surfaced in his bottomless eyes.

Fang Cheng stared at the people on the ground, only reacting after a long silence.

For a moment, he didn’t know what to say. The scene just now had slightly exceeded his understanding of reality. His mind was a mess, and he felt a bit of fear.

Fang Cheng couldn’t help but shiver.

That skill just now… it looked exactly like that thing from TV dramas, Qinggong. What if he used that move on him?

He shuddered again and stole a timid glance at Zhou Yinli, taking a step back. Between running away and the five thousand yuan he hadn’t received yet, Fang Cheng’s footsteps suddenly hesitated.

Finally, he gritted his teeth and said stiffly, “Haha, well… let’s go home first.”

Zhou Yinli stared at him, then suddenly curled his lips into a very brief smile.

Fang Cheng was in no mood to appreciate that smile; his head was filled with complicated thoughts.

Zhou Yinli walked over and repeated, “Go home.” He looked quite harmless.

No one spoke on the way back. Fang Cheng was thinking about Zhou Yinli’s skills. There were too many suspicious points.

But his brain wasn’t equipped to handle such complex problems, and he gave up thinking halfway through.

As soon as they got home, Zhou Yinli sat on the sofa with practiced ease, pressed the remote, and started watching TV.

Fang Cheng didn’t want to move either. He nudged him and squeezed onto the sofa to slump beside him.

Zhou Yinli flipped through the channels until he stopped on a costume drama. He seemed quite interested in it; when a battle scene appeared, his eyes didn’t move at all.

Although Fang Cheng was a well-known academic failure, he was very interested in weapons. He immediately started complaining: “What kind of trashy drama is this? This weapon didn’t even exist in this period. What’s this? Isn’t this a hoe? Why is it here? Oh man, this is so sloppy. Look, those are Song Dynasty battle robes, why are the Qin Dynasty people wearing them?”

This caused Zhou Yinli to look at him several times, seemingly listening quite seriously. When someone looks at you while you’re boasting, it’s the best fuel for conversation. Fang Cheng suddenly felt incredibly smug, feeling like he was the most learned person under the sun. He completely forgot the problems he had been agonizing over and kept chatting away.

When the commercials came on, Fang Cheng’s throat was parched. He went to get a glass of water and gulped it down. After he finished, Zhou Yinli spoke calmly: “Are these scenes… fake to you?”

What do you mean “us” and “you”? “Yeah, they’re all filmed by actors. And they’re not even filmed well. The director doesn’t know any history at all. It’s ridiculous, and they even call it a historical drama!”

Zhou Yinli asked again, “History? So the present is equivalent to the future of these scenes.”

His questions were quite nonsensical. Fang Cheng was a bit confused. “Yeah, we’re the modern era, they’re history.”

Zhou Yinli’s gaze deepened. He said nothing, his expression filled with a sense of loss. He looked around and suddenly asked, “Am I… in a dream right now?”

Fang Cheng burst out laughing. “What kind of dream? How about I do you a favor and punch you to see if it hurts?”

Zhou Yinli didn’t speak. After a while, he asked, “If you had a choice, would you choose to live in the present or the past?”

Fang Cheng thought about it. “I used to think that if I traveled back to ancient times, I’d use modern technology and ideas to dazzle them. But then I realized,” he paused, “I’m fucking used to having TV, phones, air conditioning, and fridges. If you sent me to ancient times, I wouldn’t last a day before dying of misery! I wouldn’t go to ancient times even if you killed me!”

Zhou Yinli looked thoughtful. “Travel back?” Then he seemed to relax a bit and gave a light chuckle. “These things you mentioned… they are indeed not bad.”