What’S Wrong With Just Eating His Majesty’S Soft Rice? Chapter 3
byChapter 3: What Kind of Sorcery Is This?
He really was good-looking.
As for his physique, he hadn’t taken his clothes off, but he was about the same height as Fang Cheng. He looked lean and fit, standing with his back perfectly straight. He looked like he had plenty of strength. Forget about the kind of web dramas Lin Er produced; this guy could probably land the male lead in an idol drama.
It was just a shame his brain didn’t work right.
Still, maybe he could get him to act in that web drama of Lin Er’s. At the very least, his face was up to the task. The rest shouldn’t be too hard, otherwise Lin Er wouldn’t have asked Fang Cheng for a recommendation.
Fang Cheng recalled the plot Lin Er had described to him. The role he needed to fill was actually that of an emperor.
Because the character needed to look cold and possess the aura of a powerful ruler, Lin Er had asked him to see if there were any suitable enforcers or tough guys he could introduce.
But Lin Er had clearly watched too many gangster movies. He thought Fang Cheng’s circle was full of the kind of “Young and Dangerous” types seen in films, completely unaware that Fang Cheng was just a bottom-tier hoodlum surrounded by a bunch of misfits and eyesores.
Fang Cheng already stood out like a crane among chickens in that crowd. Where was he supposed to find a handsome guy who met those requirements?
So, even though Fang Cheng wanted to earn that money, he hadn’t had the chance. However, he was reluctant to let the referral fee go, so he hadn’t refused outright, telling Lin Er he would keep an eye out.
Looking at this madman now, just sitting there gave off an air of natural authority. He was practically born to play an emperor. Especially since he firmly believed he was an emperor himself, he wouldn’t even have to act. In a sense, he would just be playing himself.
The madman who had been a source of frustration just a moment ago suddenly transformed into cold, hard cash.
Fang Cheng’s gaze toward the madman became so intense it was almost sticky, radiating a sort of “loving” kindness. It made the other man frown deeply.
Fang Cheng didn’t notice the expression; he was lost in his own fantasy.
Wasn’t this just money falling from the sky?
Forget the referral fee—wouldn’t the acting fee eventually end up in his hands too? After all, the guy was a madman. It wasn’t like he could give the money to him, right?
With a stir of excitement, he knew Lin Er definitely wouldn’t be asleep yet, so he sent a message: How much is the acting fee?
A reply came back quickly: One to five thousand. Depends on the face. Got a photo? Let me see if you do.
Fang Cheng picked up his phone, snapped a photo of the madman sitting on the sofa, and sent it over.
Lin Er stared at his phone. The signal wasn’t great, and the little loading circle spun and spun. Fortunately, it finally loaded. Lin Er took one look at the photo, and his fingers flew across the screen, typing out a string of exclamation marks: !!!!! Send him over! I’ll pay five thousand!
Fang Cheng’s eyes went wide when he saw the words “five thousand.” He hadn’t seen such a large sum of money in a long time, and his hands trembled as he typed.
I’ll bring him over tomorrow. Don’t you dare back out.
Now, the look he gave the madman on the sofa was one of genuine, heartfelt appreciation.
A madman?
No, no, no. This was a walking five thousand yuan, plus a five-hundred-yuan referral fee.
However, Fang Cheng’s current gaze made the other man wary. He stared back coldly, and the sword in his hand shifted horizontally, creating a tense, confrontational atmosphere.
Fang Cheng realized his change in attitude had been too obvious, likely giving off a “too good to be true” or “up to no good” vibe. He quickly reined in his expression, trying not to let the excitement show lest he scare the man away. “Um, Your Majesty, you…”
There was still a fair bit of fawning in his voice, making the other man frown with even more discomfort. Just as he was about to speak, an awkward rumbling sound echoed through the quiet living room.
The sound, naturally, came from Zhou Yinli’s stomach.
Zhou Yinli’s expression instantly soured. He clearly found the fact that his stomach had growled unacceptable. But when he looked at Fang Cheng, he saw a teasing look in his eyes, though he was still smiling.
It seemed like this man could find a reason to smile about anything.
Zhou Yinli had never met someone who loved to smile so much.
Fang Cheng was in an excellent mood, and the tension between them had dissipated. He immediately took the opportunity to smooth things over, standing up with a grin. “Your Majesty, you’re hungry, aren’t you? Let me treat you to a meal.”
He stood up and went into the kitchen. He lit the stove, poured water to boil, and pulled out a bag of instant noodles. After thinking about the impending windfall, he rummaged through the fridge, found an egg he’d bought half a month ago, and added it to the noodles.
Before long, the scent of braised beef noodles wafted through the kitchen and living room.
Fang Cheng brought the noodles out and handed them to the madman. Without a hint of respect, he said casually, “Your Majesty, I don’t have anything fancy here. You’ll have to make do.”
Zhou Yinli didn’t move.
Seeing that he wasn’t eating, Fang Cheng thought about it. This guy really put on imperial airs. If he was truly following the standards and requirements of an emperor, was he afraid of poison?
He rolled his eyes internally. Did he really have to test for poison just to give someone food?
How neurotic.
But then he thought of the money, and suddenly nothing mattered. “Don’t worry, it’s not poisoned.”
With that, he picked up the chopsticks, took a strand of noodles, and slurped it down. “See?”
Zhou Yinli watched his movements. He didn’t actually think the food was poisoned; he simply thought the noodles were too hot. His rule for eating was never to consume anything too hot.
Now that the chopsticks had been used, he was even less willing to eat. He just stared at the chopsticks in silence.
Fang Cheng cursed the man’s ancestors eighteen times over in his head, but he suppressed his irritation and went to get another pair of chopsticks. He thought to himself that if he’d known, he would have spit in the bowl. What a pretentious prick. Fang Cheng hadn’t even complained about the guy using his bowl, yet the guy was turning his nose up at used chopsticks.
The new chopsticks put the madman at ease, and he picked them up to eat slowly.
His face remained expressionless and his posture was upright. There were no wasted movements or sounds as he finished the bowl of instant noodles in total silence, leaving not a drop of soup behind.
It was strange how someone could make eating instant noodles look like an imperial feast.
This madman really committed to the emperor act in every possible way.
The guy had even finished the soup, so he clearly liked the noodles. Fang Cheng couldn’t tell if he was just that hungry or if he’d never had anything good before.
No matter how careful he was, a bit of oil still stained his lips. Fang Cheng found it bothersome to look at, so he curled his lip and handed over a paper napkin. “Your Majesty, please wipe your mouth.”
Zhou Yinli realized what the gesture meant. His expression shifted slightly as he took the napkin, touching the material with a hint of surprise. Ultimately, he asked nothing and lightly wiped his mouth.
Fang Cheng had initially thought the way he wiped his mouth was a bit effeminate, but surprisingly, the man didn’t give off that vibe at all. Instead, he possessed a natural, effortless nobility.
Fang Cheng thought to himself that the guy was a damn good actor. He said with a smile, “Your Majesty, what is your name? I’m Fang Cheng. Fang as in square, Cheng as in city.”
To his surprise, the man replied coldly, “Is Zhen’s name something you are worthy of knowing?”
Fang Cheng was starting to get used to this. Not only was he not angry, he remained smiling. Why should a sane person like him get upset with a madman? “Your Majesty, I know you’re the Emperor, and I’m a good person, but others might not be. If I call you ‘Emperor’ and bad people hear it, what if they come to assassinate you?”
The man seemed to seriously consider Fang Cheng’s suggestion. He said calmly, “Zhen… my name is Zhou Yinli.”
“Zhou… Yingli? Hard Pear?” Fang Cheng’s face twisted into a look of constipation. Who would name their kid “Hard Pear”?
Zhou Yinli frowned impatiently. He reached out a finger and wrote the characters for “Yinli” on the tabletop.
Fang Cheng watched his long, slender fingers move across the table. He didn’t recognize the characters at all, but he maintained a look of understanding on the surface. “Ah, Ying, Li. I get it now.”
“Zhen… I have no silver on my person. This thumb ring shall serve as payment for my food and lodging here.”
Zhou Yinli removed a jade thumb ring from his thumb and placed it on the table. This person seemed very worldly and must surely love wealth. Giving him a thumb ring would likely result in a wide, joyful smile.
Fang Cheng glanced at the thumb ring. How was this any different from the ones he saw at the flea market?
He picked it up and toyed with it casually. It still held Zhou Yinli’s body heat, feeling somewhat warm to the touch.
“Thanks, Your Majesty.”
Seeing Fang Cheng’s lack of interest after taking the ring, Zhou Yinli’s expression soured. Even if the ring wasn’t worth a fortune, anything he wore was no ordinary object.
Why was this man named Fang Cheng so calm?
Fang Cheng saw the flicker of confusion on his face and thought the guy really had a major problem. Did he expect a huge reaction for a little thumb ring? Did he want Fang Cheng to kneel and thank him for his imperial grace?
Zhou Yinli thought for a moment, fearing the man was simply ignorant of its value. He explained, “Is this object not enough for food and lodging? This is the finest…”
Fang Cheng waved the thumb ring dismissively. “It’s not quite enough, Your Majesty. My rates for food and lodging aren’t cheap.”
Zhou Yinli pondered for a moment and said, “I still have…”
Fang Cheng interrupted him again. “I don’t want your things. Your Majesty, I want you to do something for me.”
Zhou Yinli let out a cold laugh. “Zhen…” He paused. “What do you want? Wealth, splendor, or high office? You may not be worthy of such things.”
Fang Cheng looked at him with an indescribable expression. “Who wants that? What use is any of that? I just want you to act in a play for me.”
Zhou Yinli froze. He didn’t want wealth or high office, and he was indifferent to the thumb ring. He only wanted him to help perform a play?
Fang Cheng let out a yawn. “I can’t take it anymore. We’ll talk tomorrow. I need to sleep.”
He stood up. “Your Majesty, I’m going to take a shower. You watch some TV.”
As he spoke, Fang Cheng picked up the remote Zhou Yinli had found earlier and turned on the television right in front of him.
There wasn’t much to watch late at night, so he tuned it to a movie channel. He turned and headed into the bathroom, failing to notice the storm of emotions crossing Zhou Yinli’s face as he stared at the glowing screen.
Fang Cheng took a quick shower and changed his clothes.
When he came out, he found Zhou Yinli pale and stiff, looking as if he had suffered a massive shock.
“Is it a horror movie?” Fang Cheng thought he was scared. He looked at the TV and saw that it was a modern urban romance. The scene currently playing showed the female lead’s mother throwing a five-million-yuan check at the male lead’s face. “Take this money and leave my daughter.”
The male and female leads were kneeling at her feet, begging her to accept them.
Fang Cheng watched with interest. These kinds of subverted movie plots were becoming more common and were often quite funny. People’s tastes weren’t as easily satisfied as they used to be. No wonder Lin Er had stopped making his old style of web dramas and was trying a new direction.
When he finally remembered that the point of watching the movie was to check on Zhou Yinli, he turned to him. “This isn’t a horror movie. Why are you so terrified?”
Zhou Yinli wore a solemn and dangerous expression. “What kind of sorcery is this?”