What’S Wrong With Just Eating His Majesty’S Soft Rice? Chapter 15
byChapter 15: The Boomerang Hits Back
Upon arriving at the police station, Zhou Yinli realized what kind of place this was based on his existing knowledge, and he gave Fang Cheng a wary look.
Fang Cheng didn’t realize his purpose had been discovered. He was already used to Zhou Yinli’s jumpy behavior, so he didn’t pay it much mind. He told him to wait on a bench in the reception hall while he went to find a familiar face.
The young officer at the reception desk felt someone approaching and put on a formulaic smile, which froze the very next second.
Fang Cheng greeted him with a grin: “Xiao Li! Long time no see! Did you miss me?”
“Watch your mouth, call me Officer Li!” Xiao Li frowned, knowing this guy was definitely here to cause trouble. Otherwise, he would never come here of his own accord.
Fang Cheng was clearly displeased by the look of disgust: “It’s good enough that I didn’t call you Goudan.”
Xiao Li snorted: “I’m warning you, don’t mention that name again. Speak up, what’s the matter this time?”
Fang Cheng wasn’t in a hurry. Looking like a fox, he started rambling about childhood stories involving Goudan, like how he used to run around with split-seat pants and how Fang Cheng had pinched his butt until he cried.
Just as Xiao Li was about to lose his temper and hit him, Fang Cheng immediately turned serious.
“I picked up a mental patient a few days ago.”
Xiao Li was left breathless with frustration but couldn’t do anything about it.
Fang Cheng briefly described the situation between him and Zhou Yinli.
Xiao Li was a bit skeptical, but seeing Fang Cheng so serious, it didn’t seem like a lie. He craned his neck to look over. Zhou Yinli was currently sitting there with a submissive and quiet demeanor.
When Fang Cheng and Xiao Li looked over, he even gave a slight nod in greeting, looking very dignified and elegant.
Xiao Li shuddered. The man looked too normal—excessively normal. It was also strange because such a serious and dignified man’s vibe didn’t fit Fang Cheng at all. If he wasn’t mentally ill, there was really no other explanation.
“I’ll check the system for you. Tell me his name again.”
Fang Cheng then wrote down those complex characters for Xiao Li. He wrote them stroke by stroke, not getting a single one wrong this time.
After searching for a while, Xiao Li looked up at Fang Cheng: “Nothing. I can’t find this person. He’s not among the missing persons, nor is he a registered mental patient. There’s no record in the household registration system either.”
Now Fang Cheng found it strange too.
Xiao Li suddenly said: “Maybe the characters are wrong. Let’s try facial recognition.”
True. Who knew if this mental patient had fabricated his own name? He might have remembered it wrong or just made it up—like those with multiple personalities, having many names and identities.
Xiao Li made arrangements to take Zhou Yinli for a photo.
When told about this, Zhou Yinli stared coldly at Fang Cheng, making him feel inexplicably guilty, as if he were some villain trying to sell Zhou Yinli off.
But Zhou Yinli didn’t lash out in the end. He followed the procedure obediently, leaving fingerprints and a photo with Xiao Li.
After this check, Xiao Li’s expression changed significantly.
“There’s no such person. The system has no identity information for him.”
Fang Cheng and Xiao Li looked at each other, both stunned.
Fang Cheng was mostly fine, feeling like a premonition had come true, but Xiao Li was much more shocked: “This person has never been registered? How has he lived this long? No identity until now? How is that possible?”
Fang Cheng said: “How should I know? I wanted to ask you. Look at these clothes.” He stuffed the clothes into Xiao Li’s hands. Xiao Li pulled out the wrinkled, pickle-like outfit by a corner: “What is this crap?”
Fang Cheng showed him the photo of Zhou Yinli in ancient costume he had taken earlier.
Xiao Li praised: “Quite handsome, only slightly less than me. Where’d you buy this? I wouldn’t look bad in it either, right?”
Fang Cheng looked at his freckles and bulbous nose and said nothing.
“These clothes don’t prove anything. You’re not going to say he’s a time-traveler from ancient times, are you?”
Fang Cheng fell silent.
Xiao Li burst out laughing: “Brother, you believe in that? Oh right, I remember you used to love reading those messy novels at home. It’s not surprising you’d believe it.”
Fang Cheng immediately flared up in embarrassment: “Who believes it? I brought him here, didn’t I? Just find his family for me.”
Xiao Li stammered: “It’s not like unregistered persons don’t exist. If he was born in the mountains and no one registered him, it’s normal to grow up like this, isn’t it? Many in rural mountain areas don’t get registered until their teens.”
Fang Cheng said: “Fine, let’s say he’s an unregistered person from the mountains. What now? Why don’t you check the surveillance from that day and see where he came from.”
Xiao Li asked for the time and started complaining: “Why are you only coming now? It’s been so long. I have to dig through the surveillance all over again.”
“I’ve been too busy these past few days.” Fang Cheng laughed it off, hiding the fact that he took Zhou Yinli to film a movie, and gave a rough description of the intersection and time they met.
Xiao Li went to the surveillance room with a sour face for a long time.
When he came out, he looked puzzled.
Fang Cheng asked: “What’s wrong?”
Xiao Li said: “I saw the part you mentioned. He’s quite fast. In slow motion, I could see him running. Probably only a bit slower than Liu Xiang.”
Fang Cheng: “Oh.” He paused. “What if we send him to the Olympics later? Think he could win glory for the country?”
Xiao Li said: “We don’t even know if he’s a citizen yet.”
Fang Cheng rubbed his nose: “And then? You saw that part, but did you see where he came from?”
Xiao Li shook his head: “In the previous segment, he can be seen walking on the road, but further back, he disappears. A few cameras were broken. Expanding the search area would be too much work just for one person. We don’t have the manpower.”
“Then what?”
“I can post a missing person notice later and contact nearby stations. But I don’t know if anyone will come to claim him,” Xiao Li said. He knew well that if the family didn’t report him missing, a notice was basically useless.
“What if no one claims him?” Fang Cheng keenly sensed something from Xiao Li’s attitude.
“Then he’ll probably be treated as an unregistered person. I’ll have to ask the leadership.”
Fang Cheng immediately said: “Then go ask quickly.”
Xiao Li saw his urgency and offered a bit of comfort: “But there’s some good news.”
Fang Cheng blinked: “What good news?”
Xiao Li said: “We didn’t find any criminal record. At least he’s not a murderer.”
Fang Cheng: “…”
Xiao Li ran to ask the Station Chief and returned with him a moment later: “Are you sure he’s mentally ill? Has he shown any signs of hurting others or self-harm?”
Fang Cheng said: “At least some delusions of grandeur. He keeps thinking he’s an emperor. But no hurting others or self-harm.”
The Station Chief asked: “Does this person have the capacity for action and labor? Any other disabilities?”
Fang Cheng thought about his work and said: “No problems, he’s quite healthy. Healthier than me.”
The Station Chief rubbed his chin: “Well, mental illness isn’t something you can just claim. We have to assess his cognitive state. We also need to see if he’s a foreign suspect who entered illegally.”
“What foreigner? Listen to the way he spouts archaic Chinese; you wouldn’t say he’s a foreigner,” Fang Cheng said dismissively.
The Station Chief said: “Not necessarily. What if he’s a spy sent by a foreign country?”
Fang Cheng said: “What would a spy come to my house for? To steal important resources or secrets? My house only has poverty!”
The Station Chief laughed: “Doesn’t look like it, but we have to follow procedure. We need to investigate clearly. Hey, Xiao Li, how are you handling this? You’ve been chatting with Fang Cheng for so long without talking to the person involved.”
Xiao Li said aggrievedly: “Brother Cheng said he’s a mental patient, so I figured a mental patient’s words wouldn’t count and didn’t ask.”
The Station Chief said dissatisfied: “You should still confirm it.”
Fang Cheng said: “He is a mental patient.”
After saying that, he personally ran over and pulled Zhou Yinli over, asking him sincerely: “Tell them, don’t you think you’re an emperor?”
To his surprise, Zhou Yinli stared at him for a moment, his lips curling into a slightly mocking smile: “No. I am not an emperor. How could I be an emperor? I just don’t remember anything. I don’t remember who I am.”
Fang Cheng looked astonished.
The Station Chief also stared at him and asked Zhou Yinli: “You mean you have amnesia? You don’t remember anything? Not even your family?”
Zhou Yinli said: “Yes, Officer. I don’t remember where I live or how many people are in my family. I don’t know why I have no identity information. Since I’ve had memories, I’ve been with this Mr. Fang. I thought Mr. Fang was my family.”
The Station Chief slapped his thigh: “So that’s how it is! Setting aside the amnesia for a moment, his logic seems very clear and his attitude is great. He doesn’t look like he has mental issues at all. Fang Cheng, what’s wrong with you? Why would you call someone mentally ill for no reason? I need to give you a lecture.”
Fang Cheng glared at Zhou Yinli, feeling like he’d been tricked: “He clearly insisted he was an emperor before. He even kept saying Zhen this and Zhen that. Even if there’s no evidence for that, it’s true he was wearing ancient clothes, right? Xiao Li can testify! Xiao Li, tell him, wasn’t he in the surveillance?”
Xiao Li hesitated, looking at Zhou Yinli: “He was indeed wearing ancient clothes when he appeared on surveillance.”
Zhou Yinli explained: “Perhaps I was just wearing those clothes out of a hobby.”
Fang Cheng’s vision went dark. He felt like a boomerang had just hit him back.
The Station Chief nodded: “There are indeed many Hanfu enthusiasts, and what’s that other thing, cosplay? My daughter dresses up so much I can’t recognize her all day, and she runs off to take those messy photos every weekend. Well, since you liked this before, do you have any impressions of it? Any information you can provide?”
Zhou Yinli held his head and said: “I’m sorry, I really can’t remember anything. It might be because of a previous head injury.”
He actually showed them. After parting his hair, there was indeed a large scar on the back of his head. It looked like he had hit something heavy or been struck; the hair in that area was thinner.
“He really was injured.”
Fang Cheng began to wonder if he had really misunderstood something, but when he looked at Zhou Yinli again, he found the other man staring at him with a brewing, storm-like anger.