What’S Wrong With Just Eating His Majesty’S Soft Rice? Chapter 1
byChapter 1: This is a Real Sword!
At first, they told Fang Cheng he was just there to back them up, but once he arrived, he realized he was helping Brother Wei collect a debt.
Fang Cheng didn’t chat and joke with the others like he usually did. Instead, he remained silent. Especially when he saw Brother Wei grab the debtor’s son and raise a foot to kick him, Fang Cheng stepped forward with a smile, handed Brother Wei a cigarette, and blocked the blow.
Brother Wei’s anger hadn’t dissipated. He pressed the lit cigarette butt against the forehead of the man named Sun Dawei. “There are no more extensions. I already know you withdrew a sum of money.”
Sun Dawei cried out, “That’s the money for my son’s college!”
Brother Wei said impatiently, “Why didn’t you think about your son when you borrowed money to gamble?”
The men behind him all laughed in agreement. Seeing this, Sun Dawei’s wife and son clung to each other, weeping piteously.
Fang Cheng remained expressionless. He was past the age of trying to be a hero. He had long since learned the logic of letting go of the urge to help others and respecting the fate of others.
Sun Dawei had borrowed money and failed to pay it back, hiding until now under the pressure. The creditor had contacted Brother Wei. It was said that Brother Wei would be paid half of the debt recovered. That was not a small amount. However, if the creditor didn’t pay it, they wouldn’t get a single cent back. So, after much thought, the creditor hired Brother Wei to cut their losses.
But Fang Cheng carefully glanced at his buddies, who were currently in a state of excitement. He wanted to offer a few words of advice, but in the end, he said nothing. Even if he spoke, these people would only find him a buzzkill. He knew this group of brothers too well.
He simply took advantage of the moment when those guys were counting the money to quietly use a mobile phone he’d swiped from the debtor’s house to call the police. As for what the family would say after the police arrived, that was their own business.
This matter also made him feel a bit troubled. In the past, when the few of them hung around together, it was all small-time mischief, but now things were getting a bit out of hand.
The cut from this job was quite large, and Fang Cheng received a few hundred yuan. The brothers ate and drank noisily at a roadside food stall, nearly getting into a fight with the neighboring table during the meal.
At first, Fang Cheng went to negotiate, but the other party saw that he looked like a pretty boy and wasn’t afraid of him at all. Later, when Fatty and the others—with their tattoos, dyed hair, and fierce faces—stepped out, the other party immediately admitted defeat and apologized, finally settling the matter.
Fang Cheng rubbed his nose, feeling that his looks really hindered his prospects as a hoodlum.
Fatty drank the most, howling, “Brother Wei is the best!”
Scarface was also beside him, chuckling and saying it was lucky they had Brother Wei to lead them to fortune. He toasted Brother Wei again, drinking until Brother Wei’s face was beet red.
Fang Cheng also followed along, smiling as he flattered and toasted him. “Brother Wei is as mighty as his name! Brother Wei is magnificent!”
On the surface, Fang Cheng and these people were still harmonious. When it came time to pay, he took out those few hundred yuan to cover the meal. Even though he hadn’t had a single drop of alcohol and had only eaten a few bites.
He didn’t want to keep that money.
He hadn’t done this kind of physical work before, and he didn’t want to start now. Seeing how Fatty and the others looked at Brother Wei as their leader, Fang Cheng felt a desire to withdraw.
By the time they finished drinking, it was already eleven or twelve at night. The men headed to their respective homes. Since they didn’t live far apart and were all near the Old Town District, they could find their way home even while drunk.
Fang Cheng’s mind was clear. His direction wasn’t quite the same as the others. In the past, he would have been loyal enough to walk a few of them home, but today he wasn’t very willing. He pretended to be quite drunk as well and left first.
Having made his decision, Fang Cheng hummed a little tune, hands in his pockets, as he strolled toward home.
The summer night breeze was quite cool, blowing away some of the heat and dissipating some of the irritation in his heart.
Just as he was about to cross the road to reach home, Fang Cheng looked up and noticed a dark, slender figure standing right in the middle of the road not far from him. The figure was motionless, looking like a mannequin at first glance.
Fang Cheng watched for a while and saw that the person still wasn’t moving. He rubbed his eyes, wondering if he was hallucinating.
Just then, the sound of a vehicle approaching came from the middle of the side road.
Accompanied by a long honk, a large truck came rushing over at high speed.
At such a moment, that figure was still standing there. The vehicle’s headlights flashed over, illuminating the figure clearly.
Long hair, seemingly wearing an ancient-style robe, pure black with a few shimmering golden patterns. He held a long, rod-like object that might have been a sword.
As the truck got closer and closer, that figure actually stood in the middle of the road and held the rod-like object horizontally in front of him. Was he trying to block the truck?
The driver seemed to realize that this person wasn’t moving out of the way and began honking the horn frantically in terror.
The person remained stationary, as if prepared to face the truck head-on.
Good heavens, even if you don’t want your life, you can’t harm the driver like this.
Fang Cheng shouted at the top of his lungs, “Holy shit, get out of the way!”
Fang Cheng broke into a run toward the middle of the road, shouting twice more and waving his hand. “Move, quickly!”
Fortunately, the person heard the shout and glanced back at him. Seeming to realize something, his body turned in a flexible arc.
Fang Cheng only felt a blur before his eyes and a gust of wind past his ears. The dark figure was suddenly standing right in front of him.
The large truck roared past, leaving behind the driver’s angry roar: “You fucking psycho, scaring people in the middle of the night!” That voice, carrying a national curse and a hint of lingering fear, took a long time to dissipate in the wind.
Fang Cheng stopped, panting heavily as he faced the man.
Hearing the driver’s curse, the other man frowned. A trace of anger flashed across his face, bearing an expression of being offended, and his whole body tensed up.
Fang Cheng thought to himself, you’re still angry? What the hell are you angry about? If I were that driver, I’d come down and beat you up myself. Are you trying to play me?
After calming down, Fang Cheng was able to use the streetlights to take a closer look at the man.
He was about the same height as Fang Cheng, with broad shoulders and a narrow waist, standing perfectly straight. He looked much taller than Fang Cheng, who was slouching with his legs apart. His features were sharp, his eyes piercing, and his long hair was tied up with a jade crown. He looked even more handsome and authentic than those ancient-costume male stars on TV.
He looked like either an actor from a film crew or someone who had escaped from a mental hospital.
“Do you know what place this is, and why Zhen has appeared here?”
Case closed. One hundred percent a mental patient.
Fang Cheng rolled his eyes. “Is there something wrong with your head? If you’re sick, hurry back to the hospital. Don’t go around scaring people on the road, okay? I’m in a good mood today so I won’t hold it against you. ‘Zhen’? You’ve watched too many period dramas. You really think you’re an emperor? What kind of daydream is this?”
After saying that, he didn’t bother talking to the man anymore and turned to leave.
“Halt!” The anger in the man’s voice was almost tangible, his entire aura brimming with power. “Zhen is the Son of Heaven. How can this be a dream?”
“Pfft.” Fang Cheng couldn’t help but laugh. His anger actually looked quite convincing.
Since he had already decided this person was an escapee from a mental hospital, Fang Cheng only found it amusing. He observed the man’s anger and had to admit that sometimes aura was a rather metaphysical thing. If you were in a solemn and majestic environment, combined with the serious and earnest expression of a mental patient, you might actually be able to bluff someone.
But in this environment?
By the side of a main road, with streetlights that flickered from time to time due to lack of repair, and the occasional car roaring past.
No matter who stood here, they wouldn’t have much of an aura to speak of.
“Alright, that’s enough. Give it a rest. If you’re the Son of Heaven, then I’m the Heavenly Father. By seniority, I’m your damn grandfather.”
“Audacious commoner!” As he spoke, Zhou Yinli slowly drew his weapon. The sword blade scraped against the scabbard, producing a cold, metallic friction. His face was as calm as water as he swept his hand. The water-like blade reflected a cold light. The tip of the sword pointed directly at Fang Cheng. He had never met a man who treated him with such disrespect.
After assessing the situation, he knew that if that strange thing had crashed into him, he might not have been able to withstand it. So, this man had technically saved him just now.
He looked at this man with the strange hair, only feeling that those eyes were perhaps a bit too bright, and they were currently darting around as he sized Zhou Yinli up.
In all these years, no one had ever dared to look at him the way this person did. It almost made Zhou Yinli feel as if he couldn’t look those eyes directly.
The owner of the eyes didn’t know what he was thinking. He only saw the man pointing a sword at him and found it hilarious.
This mental patient had actually brought a sword.
At first glance, it looked like the kind sold for a few dozen yuan at a temple fair, the sort that old ladies dancing in the square would hold while practicing Tai Chi. In reality, it probably couldn’t even cut tofu.
Not being afraid was one thing, but Fang Cheng was still feeling a bit of a spark of anger. He had kindly shouted to save this man’s life, and in return, he was being threatened. Wasn’t this biting the hand that fed him?
“Don’t think that just because you’re a mental patient I’ll go easy on you. Pointing that thing at me… Believe it or not, I’ll…”
The rest of his words came to an abrupt halt because the mental patient actually swung the fake sword in his hand.
Fang Cheng never expected this mental patient to move so swiftly. He barely saw the other man’s movements; he only felt a chill on his cheek and a gust of wind sweep across his forehead.
He clearly saw a lock of hair from his forehead drifting down.
Fang Cheng was dazed for a moment.
He had heard that mental patients had great strength, and killing someone wasn’t even against the law for them!
His body reacted a step ahead of his mind. With a thud, he knelt on the ground in an incredibly humble posture, looking almost exactly like those low-browed, submissive little eunuchs in television dramas. “Your Majesty, please appease your anger! This lowly one failed to recognize your greatness and offended you. Please don’t be angry; be magnanimous and forgive me this once.”
After speaking, Fang Cheng shuddered violently, disgusted by himself.
As he knelt, he thought about how to escape and how to get revenge on this guy afterward. Although he didn’t care about kneeling—he had no gold under his knees and could adapt to any situation—he held grudges. He held very long grudges.
Fang Cheng felt a gaze sizing him up for a while.
Zhou Yinli couldn’t help but look at this strange person more. He had never seen someone like this; his mouth didn’t have a single serious word, yet those eyes were too bright, making him want to look more. He didn’t even feel there was anything wrong with his disrespectful attitude.
This strange world was completely beyond his comprehension. Perhaps he could obtain some information through this man.
One of the essential lessons for an emperor was to balance grace with authority. Authority had already been established. Zhou Yinli softened his tone. “Fine. You may rise. The ignorant are not to be blamed, especially since you tried to save Zhen just now. Zhen pardons you.”
What kind of nonsense was this? He was just going to let it go like that? He was actually quite easy to fool. Fang Cheng felt a bit better, gaining a sense of intellectual superiority. Could a normal person like him really not trick this mental patient?
Fang Cheng immediately stood up. The number of times he had knelt in his life could be counted on one hand, and he had actually given one to this mental patient. He’d let the guy have it. This guy accepting his kneel would probably take ten years off his life.
Thinking of the reason he had knelt, Fang Cheng touched his hair. Sure enough, a piece was missing. His face turned green with heartache. He almost wanted to rush up and fight the mental patient, but out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of the sword and didn’t dare move.