TWWMABMTBH Chapter 16

Chapter 16: Don’t Touch Me

System: What the hell is this indecent green-furred turtle!

Rong Ziyan sized up the turtle for a moment, adding, “Not just an ordinary green-furred turtle, it’s probably an old green-furred turtle.”

[Eight Trigrams Golden Turtle Resistance +2000]

So, this turtle can hear the internal dialogue between me and the System!

Rong Ziyan sensitively noticed the clue and quickly checked the turtle’s attributes.

SR: Eight Trigrams Golden Turtle, scientific name Three-lined Box Turtle, every part of it is precious, extremely rare. The darling of the God of Wealth. The golden carapace symbolizes wealth and nobility, and its long life makes it peaceful and immensely wise. There is nothing in this world that it doesn’t know. Keeping it by your side can attract wealth and treasures.

System: Holy crap, holy crap! This turtle is so useful! Host, quickly ask it!

The system originally intended for Rong Ziyan to ask about ways to make money.

However, after staring at the Golden Turtle for a long time, Rong Ziyan asked it, “When do you think I’ll become rich?”

Golden Turtle: “…”

Is it that difficult to answer?

Rong Ziyan thought for a moment and asked another question, “Then when do you think I’ll draw another SSR?”

Golden Turtle: “…”

Still don’t know? Rong Ziyan didn’t want to make it too difficult, so he asked a less conspicuous question: “Do you know the lottery numbers for tomorrow night’s drawing?”

“…” The Golden Turtle completely shut down, turning its back to Rong Ziyan and retracting its head and limbs into its shell.

At the same time, Rong Ziyan quickly received a system notification: [1000 Collapse Value from the Golden Turtle]

Rong Ziyan sighed and patted its shell, “If you don’t know, you don’t know. At your age, too many emotional fluctuations aren’t good for your health.”

[Golden Turtle Collapse Value 1000]

System: “Rong, I’m begging you, please say a little less!”

Rong Ziyan: “Okay then.”

Then, Rong Ziyan took out the basket that previously contained salted duck eggs and salted fish and put the salted duck eggs and salted fish that the system had drawn into it.

Rong Ziyan is actually a bit too meticulous. In the past, when he had few things, the system only felt that he was a rare clean and neat man, placing all his objects in an orderly manner. But now, with these two hundred and ninety-nine salted duck eggs and salted fish, the system could really see it.

The basket of salted duck eggs was fine, after all, how could eggs be arranged in any other way? But those salted fish were too much!

More than fifty of them, lined up in the basket like a queue, with over a hundred dead fish eyes staring at you, it really made you feel a pain in the ass every minute.

Looking at the Golden Turtle that had been pushed to the brink of collapse by Rong Ziyan’s three consecutive questions, it had already sadly crawled into its shell.

The system cautiously reminded Rong Ziyan, “Host, are you really not considering the feelings of the other creatures in the house?”

Rong Ziyan thought for a moment, “Since the salted duck eggs and salted fish are all out, how about I put him back into the system space?”

System: “I think that’s a good idea.” But before Rong Ziyan could put it away, the system reminded him, “Host, do you want to touch it before putting it in? Isn’t it said that it can attract wealth and treasures?”

Rong Ziyan thought that made sense. So he reached out and squatted next to the Golden Turtle to discuss it.

Rong Ziyan: Can I touch it?

Golden Turtle: Get lost! Don’t touch me!

[Resistance Value 2000]

System: …

In the end, Rong Ziyan didn’t make things difficult for the turtle, and instead let it enter the storage space by itself.

Rong Ziyan: “Logically speaking, this kind of Golden Turtle doesn’t like confined spaces!”

The system thought, please have some self-awareness, don’t you know why it’s being so withdrawn?

However, Rong Ziyan really didn’t know, and not only did he not know, but he also didn’t plan to keep the Golden Turtle.

When the system discovered Rong Ziyan’s plan, it was shocked!

It didn’t understand what Rong Ziyan was thinking.

Logically speaking, Golden Turtles are the most valuable among pet turtles on the market right now. Moreover, due to their reputation for attracting wealth and treasure, many bosses who care about Feng Shui like to keep one.

Rong Ziyan’s turtle, with its good quality and old age, can be said to be priceless. Someone would pay tens of thousands for it.

It’s true that Rong Ziyan doesn’t get along with this Golden Turtle, but if they don’t get along, he can just keep it in the system space.

Rong Ziyan: “No, keeping a turtle like this isn’t good for its health. Long periods without sunlight will make it weak and prone to premature death. And since it’s so resistant to me, it probably won’t be able to attract wealth.”

System: “How about we sell it?”

The items drawn from the Heavenly Path can be taken out and sold. Rong Ziyan’s straight-man, unlucky aura has already caused the wealth-attracting Golden Turtle to shy away. They are definitely not going to get along well.

You see, from a Feng Shui perspective, both koi fish and turtles have some significance. Forcing them to coexist when they can’t will easily cause backlash.

So the best thing Rong Ziyan can do now is to sell it.

Moreover, this Golden Turtle comes from the Heavenly Path. The Heavenly Path will naturally supplement its origin, so Rong Ziyan will not be suspected and get into too much trouble.

But Rong Ziyan doesn’t see it that way. First of all, the Golden Turtle species itself has special requirements for its keepers and can’t just be raised by anyone. It’s a national second-class protected animal.

Secondly, even if he sells it to those people who have permits, it still won’t be a legitimate purchase. In a way, that would be another form of illegality.

In Rong Ziyan’s view, any act that goes beyond the legal bottom line, even if the Heavenly Path can make up for it, will still not be perfect. It can only deceive the unintentional, but those who are intentionally looking for loopholes will still find the cracks.

More importantly, this Golden Turtle’s value is too high. It’s not ordinary gold and silver jewelry that can be circulated normally. It’s priceless, one family has it, a hundred families seek it. After the excitement, what follows will be getting oneself into trouble.

Rong Ziyan understands that he still has that unclear high-interest loan hanging over him. He absolutely cannot add any more problems.

Therefore, if you don’t have a big enough bowl, you shouldn’t covet so much food. Keeping a low profile is much better than being targeted.

He carries the system, and even though the Heavenly Path will compensate for karma, he still has to be fully prepared. What if someone finds out?

Bearing a treasure invites disaster. Rong Ziyan must protect himself and act with caution.

System: Then what do we do?!

After listening to Rong Ziyan’s thoughts, the system became very worried. It had been too busy being happy and forgot about Rong Ziyan’s situation.

Indeed, “bearing a treasure invites disaster” sounds too weak, but it is a genuine tragedy for minor characters.

Life isn’t a daydream with many superheroes who can fly and have superpowers. If Rong Ziyan acts too strangely, the most likely outcome would be to be sent to a research center to be a human test subject.

Perhaps with another host, the system wouldn’t even care about these details. But Rong Ziyan is different. Rong Ziyan is a realistic unlucky person, anyone else can gamble on luck, but not Rong Ziyan!

The system’s mood suddenly fell.

Rong Ziyan, on the other hand, was quite calm: “It’s okay, I’ll check out places near Beijing that would be suitable for him these next couple days, and let him choose which zoo or wildlife reserve he likes.”

System: “A zoo???”

Rong Ziyan: “Yeah! When you can’t make a decision, isn’t the best thing to do is hand it over to the country?”

It was an SR that took 500 draws to get, and even though it’s not quite opportune, Rong Ziyan has to make it worth its value.

In Huaguo, if you discover a protected animal and hand it over to the country, there is usually a reward. Rong Ziyan guesses it won’t be less than ten thousand. If that’s the case, then he would have a large part of the money for publishing his thesis. As for the rest, there are still the salted duck eggs and salted fish!

Moreover, when the system opens up the exchange function later, and all N-level items can be freely used with gold coins, there’s a lot more Rong Ziyan can do. One step at a time, a solid foundation is more important than anything. So Rong Ziyan isn’t in a hurry.

The system thought he was right and finally calmed down. But then it thought about it, they still have 600,000 gold coins to earn!

So it urged Rong Ziyan, “Host, hurry up and finish the rest of that Zhihu post, so we can earn more gold coins!”

Rong Ziyan was stunned for a moment, “It’s already done! What else is there to write?”

System: “????? There’s no ending!”

“What happened to the Rich Second Generation later?”

“Did the genius student succeed in his counterattack?”

“You didn’t write any of that!”

“Of course, I couldn’t write that!” Rong Ziyan justified himself, “Because those things haven’t happened, I don’t know what’s going to happen!”

“Holy crap! You’re going to get beaten to death!” Thinking about the resentment value that the people waiting for the ending online would be giving Rong Ziyan, the system immediately lit a candle for him.

“It shouldn’t be that bad, right?” Rong Ziyan was very optimistic.

He opened up his Zhihu article and was immediately buried under a barrage of requests for updates.

“Please update, author!”

“Wuwuwu, I’ve been refreshing it all afternoon! What happened to the genius student in the end? Did he marry a rich girl in the village and become the new rich generation and kill the Rich Second Generation?”

“A story that ends halfway has no dick. You better think about not becoming a eunuch!”

Along with these threats, the system promptly announced the increase in related resentment value.

So, everyone wants to know what he did after being sent down to the countryside?

So, Rong Ziyan carefully recalled what happened to him today and gave those waiting for an answer a final response.

“After returning to the village, I treated ducks and led a team to capture runaway wild boars.”

System: …

It felt like Rong Ziyan was beyond saving. But Rong Ziyan felt that there was nothing wrong with what he wrote. He did do those things after he came back!

And based on his verification of the wild boars’ habits today while capturing them, Rong Ziyan even opened a new article, “How to Tame Wild Boars on the Run.”

Then, he went to bed, satisfied.

He had many things to do tomorrow, and it was already very late.

What Rong Ziyan didn’t know was that after he fell asleep, all the people on Zhihu waiting for the post to update exploded.

What the hell is this!!!

What about the counterattack ending that was promised?

After seeing the “How to Tame Wild Boars on the Run” later, this group of netizens who were waiting for the ending wished that they could cross the internet and beat Rong Ziyan to death.

He stopped at a climax, and then became a eunuch. After he finally came back, he didn’t write the ending and even just casually did a shoddy ending?

This is like walking down the street, meeting a super beautiful girl, suggesting a one night stand, and then after the candlelight dinner, romantic wine, and passionate wet kisses, you go for a shower together and discover that she has a bigger dick than yours?

Even worse, you were about to accept this, but then you found out that you both drank fake wine before and now can’t get it up?

Immediately, this group of netizens, feeling cheated by Rong Ziyan, were enraged and couldn’t help but start scolding under his post.

So, the next morning when Rong Ziyan opened his eyes, he actually found that his system gold coin value had increased by another 400,000 and was still climbing at a steady rate.

[Netizen XX Rage Value 1000] [Netizen XX Rage Value 459] [Netizen XXX Rage Value 333] [Netizen XXX Rage Value 778]

There was even a familiar name [Netizen Li Gongde], which was clearly the name of the head of the veterinary department at the agricultural university. Rong Ziyan never expected that this middle-aged, balding man, who usually looked like an old cadre, would actually be logging onto Zhihu in the middle of the night to read gossip.

Rong Ziyan vaguely felt like he had discovered some terrible secrets.

But he was only silent for a moment, and then got up to prepare his things.

First, he had to send the salted fish and salted duck eggs to the couple who ran the snack bar. Then he would take the Golden Turtle to find the leaders at the Forestry Bureau.

Yesterday, after Rong Ziyan provided several places he could go near Beijing, the Golden Turtle chose the Beijing Wildlife Park itself.

System: “Why there?”

Golden Turtle: “There are more tourists, it’s more convenient to accumulate merit.”

Rong Ziyan recalled the comments floating above its head yesterday, and couldn’t help but interject, “Isn’t it actually to see more gossip?”

“…” The Golden Turtle was silent for a long time, and finally couldn’t help but say, “Please take me away quickly, take me away and you’ll be my benefactor and adoptive father forever!”

[Resistance Value from the Golden Turtle 2000]

So, urged by the Golden Turtle, Rong Ziyan sent it to the leaders of the Forestry Bureau at 9:30 a.m. when their offices had just opened.

The leader of the Forestry Bureau didn’t ask too many questions, and with Rong Ziyan simply saying “I found it on the side of the road,” he automatically imagined a backstory for him.

It just so happened that when they were capturing the wild boars yesterday, a group of poachers had run away. Those poachers even stole wild boars, so this big Golden Turtle might have something to do with them.

This kind of Golden Turtle is extremely valuable!

But Rong Ziyan could resist such temptation. If he wasn’t so inflexible, he must be someone who knew how to be low-key and bide his time.

A smart person like him will eventually find his way.

The leader looked at Rong Ziyan with appreciation and continued, “As for your reward, we will give it to you after we have discussed it with the wildlife side.”

“Thank you, leader.” Rong Ziyan didn’t ask any more questions. After completing the formalities, he planned to return to the village.

Before he left, the system advised Rong Ziyan to say goodbye to the Golden Turtle again.

It was really worried. “The Golden Turtle is in charge of wealth! Host, it hates you so much, won’t that affect this reward?”

Rong Ziyan, “Then should I discuss it with him again?”

The Golden Turtle immediately retracted its head into its shell to refuse.

“Get lost, get lost! I wish you a lifetime of boundless wealth and prosperity.”

[Resistance Value 3000]

Seeing the sincerity of the Golden Turtle’s blessing, Rong Ziyan and the system left the Forestry Bureau. When he returned to the village, he was surprised to find that the couple who ran the snack bar were waiting for Rong Ziyan in front of his house with a middle-aged man in a suit and tie.

As soon as he saw Rong Ziyan, he enthusiastically rushed up to shake Rong Ziyan’s hand, showering him with compliments about Rong Ziyan’s good cooking skills. He even claimed that he was a descendant of an imperial chef and was in the countryside to gather inspiration.

But Rong Ziyan could clearly see the comment above his head, which read [Professional Swindler, Scamming Online].

At the same time, the [Thunder] skill was activated, and four black dots appeared on the middle-aged man, probably afraid that Rong Ziyan, a veterinarian, wouldn’t understand human illnesses. After the skill activated, it very thoughtfully marked the names of the illnesses.

[Fatty Liver] [High Blood Pressure] and… [Athlete’s Foot] and [Corn]