The Downtrodden Villain In A Redemption Romance Novel Chapter 46
byChapter 46 Unable to retreat
Lu Qingrang found that he began to fear the early morning.
When the first ray of light passed through the glass without curtains and outlined the outline of Xu Wen sleeping soundly, an almost sweet torture began.
He could clearly count Xu Wen’s long and dense eyelashes, he could feel the subtle itching caused by the other person’s steady breathing brushing the skin on the side of his neck, and he could smell Xu Wen’s warm scent of the same style as his own, mixed with sunlight and clean soap locust.
All of this was once the only salvation in his desperate life and the nutrients that supported his survival.
But now, it has become a raging fire burning his reason.
He clearly remembered that just yesterday morning, Xu Wen was wrapped around him like a koala, hands and feet.
The furry head rubbed against the crook of his neck, muttering in his sleep: “Brother Lu… don’t run away with the chicken legs…”
At that moment, his whole body was stiff, and his heart was beating so fast that it almost broke out of his chest.
A strong urge clamored for him to tighten his arms and bury her deeper into his arms, while an overwhelming sense of guilt surged at the same time.
In the end, he almost embarrassedly broke away from the too close hug, rushed into the bathroom, and rinsed his hot face with cold water over and over again.
From that day on, Lu Qingrang began a difficult process of self-correction.
He began to intentionally and unobtrusively create physical distance.
When sleeping at night, he would make sure there was a clear gap between the two of them.
When we get along during the day, he no longer helps Xu Wen tidy up his collar or brush the dust from his hair as naturally as before.
As before, when Xu Wen came over to see what he was typing on the computer, he would turn slightly sideways to avoid the too close body temperature.
His movements were very light, and the reasons were just right: “It’s a little hot” and “I’m afraid of touching you while doing it.”
But Xu Wen still noticed it.
That night, Xu Wen packed two portions of noodles and came back.
The two of them sat side by side at the small folding table. As soon as the plastic lunch box was opened, Xu Wen habitually began to pick and pick out the coriander spread on the surface one by one.
When Lu Qingrang cooks at home, he never puts coriander, which he hates.
While putting all the coriander he picked out into Lu Qingrang’s lunch box, he enthusiastically complained about the weird questionnaire he encountered today.
As he spoke, he leaned to the side naturally and gently touched Lu Qingrang’s arm with his shoulder. This was a small gesture that they were used to when getting along.
Lu Qingrang’s back tensed slightly for a moment, and the fingertips holding the chopsticks turned white.
He calmly moved half an inch to the side, pulling away the bit of body heat that made him greedy and sinful.
Xu Wenzheng was so excited about it that he didn’t pay attention at first.
After a while, he subconsciously leaned towards Lu Qingrang, seeking that familiar feeling of support.
This time, Lu Qingrang stepped aside almost immediately. His movements were so fast that they were almost deliberate, as if he was avoiding something hot.
Once, twice, three times…
When Xu Wen subconsciously leaned toward the heat source next to him again, but only encountered cold air, he finally realized something.
His eloquent voice gradually dropped. He put down his chopsticks and turned his head to look at Lu Qingrang in confusion:
“Brother Lu, what’s happened to you recently?”
Lu Qingrang’s heart skipped a beat, and he could almost hear the sound of blood rushing to the top of his head.
Has he been discovered?Could his dirty thoughts finally be hidden?
He forced himself to raise his head, met Xu Wen’s clear eyes, and tried to make his voice sound calm and normal: “What’s wrong?”
“I just feel like you’ve been…”
Xu Wen wrinkled his nose, as if looking for the right words, “You seem to be avoiding me? Is it my imagination? Or did I make you unhappy?”
At that moment, Lu Qingrang’s heart seemed to be tightly grasped by an invisible hand, feeling sore and painful.
He looked at the unpretentious worry and confusion on Xu Wen’s face, and all the carefully constructed lines of defense collapsed in an instant.
How could he make Xu Wen feel like this?
How could he destroy this intimacy that he valued so much because of his unspoken desires?
“No.” Lu Qingrang denied almost immediately, his voice hoarse due to eagerness. “How could you make me unhappy?”
He paused and added, with a deliberately relaxed tone, “Maybe… the weather has been changing recently, and I’m a little down on energy.”
He didn’t dare to retreat anymore.
He was afraid that Xu Wen’s clean eyes would show any emotion caused by his abnormality.
So, everything seemed to be back to before.
Lu Qingrang allowed those cross-border intimacy again, and even at certain moments, with a kind of masochistic indulgence, he would passively endure those contacts that were as late as honey to him.
But no one knows that behind every seemingly calm response is the turbulent struggle and restraint in his heart.
In the afternoon, Lu Qingrang was repairing a power strip with poor contact by the window.
The afternoon sun shines through the glass, casting soft light and shadow on his low-hanging profile, outlining his straight nose and long eyelashes.
He looked attentive, his fingers nimbly playing with small parts.
Xu Wen was sitting cross-legged on the bed reading a magazine. When he looked up, he happened to see this picture.
He was a little lost in thought and subconsciously blurted out: “Brother Lu, you are so good-looking.”
There was a soft “click” sound, and Lu Qing almost let the screwdriver slip out of his hand.
He raised his head suddenly and ran into Xu Wen’s eyes with a pure appreciation smile.
A wave of heat, mixed with great surprise and a deeper sense of guilt, instantly rushed through his limbs and bones.
My heart felt like it was soaked in warm sugar water, and every cell was screaming for joy.
He lowered his head almost in embarrassment, covering his ears that were suddenly burning. His voice was so low that it was almost inaudible: “…what nonsense.”
“You’re not talking nonsense!” Xu Wen got excited, threw the magazine away, and came closer.
With a smile, he continued in a joking yet extremely sincere tone, “Really! Look at the bridge of your nose, your eyes, and your skin… Tsk tsk, Brother Lu, if you were a little girl, I would definitely be your licking dog and follow you around every day!”
“Boom——!”
It was as if a basin of ice water mixed with ice cubes was poured down from the top of his head, completely extinguishing the pitiful joy just now.
Lu Qingrang’s face instantly lost its color and became a little pale.
His fingers holding the screwdriver were so hard that the knuckles protruded, and the fingertips dug deeply into the palm of his hand, causing a sharp sting, and he could barely maintain the surface calm.
little girl…
Yes, Xu Wen has always imagined the life that he has imagined for himself so many times.
When everything gets better, Xu Wen is destined to reach the ending of family reunion.
All specialness and all closeness are based on the premise of brothers.
Once he crosses that line, he won’t get the same response, but a complete loss.
He twitched the corners of his mouth, trying to force out a smile that showed he was listening to a joke, but found that he couldn’t even do such a simple action.
In the end, he just lowered his head deeply, suppressed all the surging emotions in his heart, and used all his strength to utter a monotonous syllable:
“Yeah.”