The Birds Keep Ringing Chapter 22
byChapter 22 Species Anxiety You can’t call me Madam anyway!
It is often written in books that when you see your sweetheart, your heart will feel like a deer stumbling around.
According to Yunzhen’s personal experience, it’s not a heartbeat at all, it’s palpitations, a disease that can kill people if it’s serious.
He won’t die, it’s just that the species has changed.
Master said this is a self-protection mechanism.Yun Zhen thinks this is pure fart. A turtle shrinks its head when it is in danger because it has a hard shell. A hedgehog shrinks into a ball when it is in danger because it has thorns. Could it be that he turned into a bird because he has feathers?
What kind of protection is this?This is obviously because God thinks his life is not enough to be a joke.
This leads to a very embarrassing situation. Once the atmosphere is a little more charming, or his mood swings a little more, he will turn into a ball of hair.
Yun Zhen was depressed all night. Although the master later changed him back, he still lay on the pillow, looking at Jiang Zhi sleeping on the ground, and fell into deep thought.
He thought that Jiang Zhi must also be depressed.
After all, no one wants to have the person in their arms suddenly turn into a bird when they are getting ready to make out.If Jiang Zhi really doesn’t care about this, and even enjoys it, then Yun Zhen will start to wonder if the second senior brother has some ulterior hobby.
Like “ornithophilia” or something like that.
Moreover, Jiang Zhi slept on the ground not because of his gentlemanly demeanor, but simply because if he didn’t sleep on the ground, if Yunzhen suddenly turned into a bird and someone accidentally suppressed the bird, then they could have a feast the next day.
The next day, the sun rose as usual, not delayed for a moment because of Yunzhen’s species anxiety.
The early morning in Yangzhou carries the smell of early cooking fumes.They were packing their things in the hotel lobby, preparing to embark on the final journey back to Qingzhou.
The master is desperately stuffing the dry food provided by the inn for free into his bag, and his movements are so skillful that it makes people feel distressed.
Suddenly, he stopped and turned to look at Jiang Zhi.
“Second brother, you are going to meet your father-in-law and mother-in-law. What have you prepared?”
Jiang Zhi’s face that had remained unchanged for thousands of years had a rare expression called “blank”.This expression appeared on Jiang Zhi’s face, which was a rare spectacle seen in a thousand years.
It seemed that the thrilling accident yesterday had left his brain in a mush.
The master hated the irony and said: “Although we are children of the world and don’t stick to trivial matters, how can you go empty-handed?”
Xiao Fenzhi gloated at the side: “Second Junior Brother, are you nervous? Does it feel scarier than facing Lu Ting? Do you want Senior Brother to teach you some experience?”
Wen Wan was helping Master load things and interrupted him angrily: “What experience do you have? Experience of being chased and running away?”
Xiao Fengyi smiled: “That’s right, I’m too charming and I don’t need these external things to please people. Second Junior Brother’s situation is more difficult…”
“What’s wrong with him?” Yun Zhen was unhappy. Although he felt that the second senior brother was indeed a bit stupid sometimes, these words coming from the senior brother’s mouth felt like he deserved a beating.
“This situation is…” Xiao Fenzhi said slowly, “Your parents may need some time to accept that their precious son did not bring back a gentle and kind daughter-in-law, but a son-in-law who can cut them in two with a sword.”
“Elder brother!” Yun Zhen was furious, “Can you say something humane!”
“What I’m talking about is human language.” Xiao Fenzhi said innocently, “Second Junior Brother is in a daze every day except practicing swordsmanship. After being dazed, he continues to practice swordsmanship. Occasionally, he can choke people to death by saying something.”
Xiao Fenzhi imitated Jiang Zhi’s tone of voice and imitated it so perfectly that even Yun Zhen wanted to laugh.
“In the end, your parents will feel that although this person looks good, it is not good to be mute. What will happen to the children in the future?”
“What kind of child!” Yun Zhen blushed, “We…we can’t have children!”
“Oh, right.” Xiao Fengyi slapped his forehead, “I forgot that you are both male.”
Seeing that these two were about to fight, the master waved his hands towards them, like chasing ducks.
“Okay, okay, why don’t you hurry up and buy some. Zhen’er, you should go too. Don’t let your second senior brother come back with some messy things.”
Walking on the street, Yunzhen always felt awkward, nothing was right.
He tugged on Jiang Zhi’s sleeve: “Second senior brother, did master make a mistake?”
“What?” Jiang Zhi stared straight ahead, like a killer on a mission.
“The father-in-law and mother-in-law call the woman’s father and mother.” Yunzhen said tangledly, “I don’t want to marry you, and even if I want to marry, my father and mother will definitely be reluctant to part with it. This is not the right name. It should be father-in-law and mother-in-law… But you are a man and I am also a man, so what should I call you?”
Jiang Zhi didn’t answer the question. He went straight to the stall next to him, took out his coins and bought a bunch of candied haws, and then stuffed it into Yunzhen’s chattering mouth.
“Hmm…” Yun Zhen was gagged by the candied haws, and the sweet and sour taste melted in his mouth.
He protested vaguely: “Jiang Zhi, what do you mean!”
Jiang Zhi glanced at him indifferently: “What did you call me?”
Yunzhen chewed the hawthorn in his mouth hard, swallowed it, and choked a little, but he still held his neck and said: “Jiang Zhi Jiang Zhi Jiang Zhi, what’s wrong with me calling you by your first name? Why can you call me Yun Zhen by both my first and last name, but I can only call you Second Senior Brother? This is unfair!”
Jiang Zhi stared at him for a moment, then suddenly stretched out his hand.
Yun Zhen subconsciously wanted to hide, thinking that he would be beaten.In the end, Jiang Zhi just touched the corner of his mouth with his fingertips, and there was a piece of broken sugar hanging there.
Then, before Yunzhen could react, Jiang Zhi put the candy into his mouth.
Yunzhen: “…”
His face turned red, redder than the bunch of candied haws.
“You…you…” Yunzhen stammered, feeling that his language system had degraded to the level of a bird.
Jiang Zhi completely ignored his accusation. In just a few days, he seemed to have mastered the unique secrets of controlling this chattering mouth.
This bird is always louder than anyone else, and cries louder than anyone else. But when it comes, it is as timid as a quail.
“What do you want me to be called?” Jiang Zhi asked him.
“…” I really haven’t thought about it.
Really?It’s so common that others call it that.Master Yun?Too rusty.Baby?Hey, it’s so gross.
“Madam?” Jiang Zhi suddenly said one word.
Yunzhen’s eyes widened: “Husband… Husband, how old are you? Who is your wife? I am a man. I have…”
He wanted to talk about a more specific organ, but he couldn’t say it in public.
Yun Zhen thought to himself: It’s over. The second senior brother is bad at learning. He must have been infected by the vixen of the senior brother. Otherwise, how could he suddenly become so… such a gangster? Where is the cold wooden post who knows nothing except practicing swordsmanship?
Help, this cat is a sperm!
“What’s it called?” Jiang Zhi asked again.
“How do I know!” Yun Zhen was furious, “I can’t call you Madam anyway!”
“Oh.” Jiang Zhi nodded, seeming to understand, “You can call me Xianggong.”
“…”
“Let’s go.” Jiang Zhi held his wrist and walked towards the market without giving Yunzhen a chance to continue to fuss.
Since he wanted to buy gifts, Yunzhen decided to put aside the ones that he had and didn’t have for the time being, and began to seriously think about his parents’ preferences.
This was a very serious matter, related to whether Jiang Zhi could get in, or whether he would be invited to sit down or kicked out after entering.
“My dad likes antiques, calligraphy and paintings.” Yun Zhen analyzed as he walked, “But he, that is, Ye Gong Haolong, those things are very expensive, and you need to have a good eye to identify the goods. My father actually has no eyesight. He will buy fakes accidentally and treat them as treasures. He especially enjoys being praised for his taste.”
“My mother, she likes jewelry, especially jade bracelets.” Yunzhen continued, “But she is very picky about jade. If it is not mutton-fat white jade, she won’t even look at it.”
Jiang Zhi listened and nodded, as if he understood, but seemed not to be listening at all, just enjoying the feeling of holding Yunzhen’s hands and listening to his chatter.
First they went to the antique shop.
The shopkeeper was a shrewd little old man, his eyes were wandering around. When he saw the sword on Jiang Zhi’s waist, and then looked at the silk clothes on Yunzhen’s body, his eyes lit up: this is Fat Sheep coming with his bodyguards.
“Are you two gentlemen here to see the goods? The store has just received a batch of good goods, all from…”
“What’s good?” Jiang Zhi interrupted him.
The shopkeeper smiled and took out a painting from under the counter: “This calligraphy and painting is the original work of everyone from the previous dynasty. Look at this painting…”
“It’s fake.” Yunzhen glanced at it and said, “This paper is wrong. It’s too obviously distressed. Was it poured with tea and left to dry?”
The shopkeeper’s face froze, and he couldn’t hold on to his smile.
“Where’s this vase?” The shopkeeper didn’t give up and took out another blue and white porcelain vase, “This is from the official kiln.”
“It’s also fake.” Yunzhen looked at it for a while and continued to disprove it, “The glaze color is wrong, and the base is engraved later. Can I get away with it if I fake it?”
The shopkeeper’s smile completely disappeared, thinking that Yun Zhen was a colleague who was here to cause trouble, and his eyes changed.
“What do you want?” the shopkeeper asked through gritted teeth.
Yunzhen thought for a while: “Is there something that looks expensive, but is actually not too expensive, preferably only a few dozen taels of silver?”
Shopkeeper: “…”
The horse must not only run, but also not eat grass, and the horse must look like a unicorn.
Yun Zhen usually looks carefree, like a heartless and silly young man, but actually he has inherited a bit of his father’s shrewdness.
Finally, they found a dark stone in the corner.The shopkeeper said it was an ancient inkstone. Yunzhen picked it up and looked at it. The texture was average, but the inkstone had a natural crack that looked artistic.
“That’s it.” Yun Zhen was very satisfied, “How much does it cost?”
“Five taels.” The shopkeeper said angrily.
“Deal.” Yun Zhen turned to Jiang Zhi and said, “My father will definitely like it. Then I can make up a story, saying that some great writer got drunk and fell to the ground and cracked. He has the character of a literary man.”
Jiang Zhi: “…”
The next step is to buy jewelry for Yun Zhen’s mother.
There was a dazzling array of things in the jewelry store. All kinds of gold, silver and jade were placed all over the room, which made people’s eyes hurt. Yun Zhen kept picking and choosing, but he still felt dissatisfied.
“This.” Jiang Zhi pointed to a gold bracelet. It was the thickest one in the store, with dragons and phoenixes carved on it.
Yunzhen glanced at it and shook his head: “Vulgar, too vulgar.”
Finally, his eyes fell on a jade bracelet in the corner.
It looks inconspicuous, not pure white, nor green, but a light cyan, like the sky after the rain, the jade is warm and moist, and there is a sense of aura.
“That’s it.” Yunzhen picked it up, looked at it against the light, and found that its quality was also very good.
The shopkeeper looked at it and was a little embarrassed: “Sir, you are really discerning. This bracelet is our treasure. It came from the palace of the previous dynasty. Although it has some flaws, the jade is definitely top-notch, but… the price is a bit expensive.”
“How much?” Jiang Zhi asked.
“Five hundred taels.” The store owner extended a slap in the face, “This is a discount because of the predestined relationship between the two of you.”
Five hundred taels?You can even buy an apartment in Yangzhou!
Yun Zhen was just about to think about forgetting it and changing it to another one. This was simply a money grab, and they were being slaughtered as if they were taken advantage of.
Then Jiang Zhi said expressionlessly: “Wrap it up, and those.”
Yunzhen looked over there, and Jiang Zhi pointed to a pile of gold earrings, gold necklaces, and gold bracelets next to them. They were all heavy and golden.
“Second Senior Brother!” Yunzhen pulled him, “Are you crazy? Five hundred taels! And what happened to that gold? Why did you buy it?”
“Here you go.” Jiang Zhi said.
“Why are you giving it to me? I don’t like these!” Yunzhen collapsed.
Although he is originally the son of the nouveau riche, he is the son of the nouveau riche with aesthetics!
Then, under Yunzhen’s shocked eyes, Jiang Zhi took out a wad of banknotes.
Yunzhen watched the banknotes leave Jiang Zhi’s hand and felt his heart bleed: “Where did you get so much money? Could it be that in addition to practicing swordsmanship, you also work part-time to rob banks?”
“My mother left it behind,” Jiang Zhi said.
Yun Zhen didn’t believe it: “How come your mother has so much money?”
Jiang Zhi collected the remaining banknotes and said calmly: “Put the money in the bank and the interest will compound.”
Compound interest is the most powerful force in the world.
Yunzhen: “…”
This is probably the so-called time is money.
It turns out that being a demon has this benefit. As long as you live long enough, you can become rich.In comparison, his eldest brother, the prodigal son, was still eating and drinking after living for three hundred years. It was really a shame to the demon world.
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The author has something to say: I can update it daily in the next few days!I will save more articles over the weekend