TTOA Chapter 49

“Jae-jin. That’s difficult.”

“Difficult? Can’t you do it?”

“Unlike erasing memories, restoring them… that’s really dangerous.”

“So you can’t? Answer me, Seo Eui-woo. Can’t you do it?”

“Listen. Messing with the brain is dangerous enough, but restoration requires exponentially more delicate and precise ability manipulation. If anything goes wrong, Jae-jin’s brain will fry completely. Then…”

“Can you do it or not! Stop the nonsense and just answer me!”

“…Then, Jae-jin dies.”

Seo Eui-woo recited with a face that had frozen as coldly as an ice sculpture.

His beautiful features, his soul-captivating, aesthetically pleasing, pure white face, darkened as if witnessing a scene too horrific to even imagine in a dream.

“The gaps are already too big. Countless memories have been extracted. Restoring all of them is nearly impossible, and even attempting it is fatally dangerous. Your brain will burn, causing you to die in agony, and even if you survive, your mind will be completely shattered, and you won’t be sane.”

“What…?”

“I can’t do it. I don’t want to do it. I can’t cut off Kwon Jae-jin’s lifeline with my own hands.”

“…”

“What about you, Jae-jin? Do you really want to die? Would you be okay with dying? Is that lost memory so important that you’re willing to risk your life?”

Die.

Really?

Just restoring a single memory… it’s that dangerous?

Looking back, Seo Eui-woo had always been cautious whenever he used his Mental-type Ability. He always acted unlike himself, passively saying it was dangerous and he’d only skim the surface. That omnipotent Seo Eui-woo… that S-rank Esper…

So, he really can’t do it…?

“…Whether I die or not, I won’t know until I try.”

Kwon Jae-jin muttered expressionlessly. His face was like a corpse.

“It’s close to impossible, not impossible. It’s just very dangerous, not undoable!”

“Jae-jin, why are you really being like this! We’ve been doing fine without that memory. What’s missing, what are you lacking being with me, why!”

“Doing fine without memories, damn it, how is that doing fine! Doing fine with a sane mind is doing fine, isn’t it? Forcibly, me, making a hole in my head, me… deceiving and dominating me, changing me to your liking, damn it! Damn it! Kidnapping, imprisoning, binding! How is that doing fine!”

“That doesn’t mean I can push you to your death! Being locked up is better than being shot dead as a Mutant, isn’t it? Binding you is better than seeing you try to commit suicide and bite off your tongue! So, what are you trying to say… You really want me to kill Kwon Jae-jin? With my hands? Me, I… me personally to flip Kwon Jae-jin’s head and cut off his lifeline? Are you crazy?”

“So what. I’ve thought about wanting to die… I thought about it countless times like breathing when I was with the 1st timeline Seo Eui-woo. I actually attempted suicide.”

“Ha…”

“Whether I die by suicide, or die trying to restore my memories, I don’t care.”

“…”

“I don’t care. Can’t you understand? Now that I think about it, I also have the experience of being torn apart by a Gate. Wow, I thought I was just experienced in confinement, but I’m also experienced in dying… perfect.”

At those words, Seo Eui-woo also crumbled.

Kwon Jae-jin was the only one who seemed to have fallen into the fire pit, but Seo Eui-woo also fell with him.

Shaking his head in a terrifying manner, Seo Eui-woo writhed in the face of the unexpectedly terrible disaster. He exuded an absurdly threatening aura.

“No. I won’t do it.”

“Why.”

“I can’t live without Jae-jin. Whatever crazy things I’ve done, the ultimate goal was always one thing. To keep Kwon Jae-jin alive by my side.”

For an Esper, a Guide is an absolute existence.

The more powerful the Esper, the more so.

Seo Eui-woo needs Kwon Jae-jin.

“Telling me to kill Kwon Jae-jin means choosing obvious destruction.”

Kwon Jae-jin also needs Seo Eui-woo.

The 1st timeline Kwon Jae-jin didn’t particularly need Seo Eui-woo, but the 2nd timeline Kwon Jae-jin needs Seo Eui-woo. To get his family back.

“So, if you’re so desperate not to kill Kwon Jae-jin, then Seo Eui-woo just needs to do it properly…”

It was Seo Eui-woo who presented the cruel choices from the beginning.

Choices that seemed like two paths at first glance, but were actually one.

“Don’t fail, don’t fry my brain, overcome the obstacles and use your ability safely. Just succeed. Just succeed.”

Ordinary person or Guide.

Be killed as a Mutant or Guide.

Erase memories or be handcuffed.

Seo Eui-woo always urged Kwon Jae-jin to make cruel choices, but there’s no reason why Kwon Jae-jin can’t do the same to Seo Eui-woo.

“Do you think I liked it, that I’ve accepted and tolerated everything so far? I’ve experienced countless such unavoidable dilemmas. So now it’s Seo Eui-woo’s turn.”

“…”

“You erased my memories, Seo Eui-woo. You’re the only one who can restore them. Then take responsibility and put them back!”

Kwon Jae-jin’s black eyes rolled wildly.

The unfillable emotional chasm was fully revealed.

Kwon Jae-jin couldn’t forgive Seo Eui-woo. At least not until he personally filled the hole dug into Jae-jin’s head with his own hands.

Conversely, that meant that if Seo Eui-woo did that…

If Seo Eui-woo restored Kwon Jae-jin’s memories… then he could forgive him.

Kwon Jae-jin was still willing to accept Seo Eui-woo. To be honest, he wanted to. Those times were good. They stuck close and loved each other, teaching Seo Eui-woo how to cook, flying over the vast ocean, changing houses every season, giving him a lap pillow, tying his apron, wearing matching outfits, kissing, having sex, Guiding, just…

Kwon Jae-jin also wants to do that with Seo Eui-woo…

“Now. Answer me that you understand, Seo Eui-woo.”

Kwon Jae-jin urged Seo Eui-woo to choose, as if threatening him.

Seo Eui-woo repeatedly shook his head. Chewing on his devastated emotions.

“I’m sorry. I can’t do it.”

“Say it. Say you’ll give me back my memories. Say you’ll try, that you can do it.”

“…Jae-jin. Please.”

“I said say it! Try! You can at least pretend! At least make that gesture!”

Seo Eui-woo hugged Kwon Jae-jin and collapsed onto the bed.

Kwon Jae-jin, held in Seo Eui-woo’s arms, continued to shout angrily. Still unable to suppress his anger, he spewed out curses.

“Ugh, damn it! Damn it! Shit! You, you son of a bitch! Aaaah!”

Kwon Jae-jin raged like a madman.

He kicked as if he would kill Seo Eui-woo, swung his arms, and hit his cheeks. He slapped him with his palm, punched him with his fist, and still unable to relieve his anger, he snarled and shook Seo Eui-woo by the collar.

Seo Eui-woo didn’t seem to care whether Kwon Jae-jin hit him or anything else, and remained still without showing any signs of pain. It seemed that the fact that Kwon Jae-jin was resisting and disliking him so much was more painful than being hit.

“Ugh, stop it. Jae-jin, you’ll hurt your hands.”

“Let go! Damn it, let go!”

“You can’t swing like that. You have to clench your fist properly and hit in short bursts. You’ll break your wrist.”

“Seo Eui-woo, you bastard, you… dog bastard.”

“Hit me. If that relieves Jae-jin’s anger, I’m happy to do it as much as you want.”

Seo Eui-woo offered his body defenselessly. He lowered his eyes and relaxed his entire body as if it was okay for Kwon Jae-jin to assault him in any way. The way his chiseled, diamond-like muscular body obediently drooped seemed like he was submitting to Kwon Jae-jin.

Kwon Jae-jin gritted his teeth and punched Seo Eui-woo’s face. He clenched his fingers tightly without leaving a single one loose, and punched quickly and accurately as Seo Eui-woo said.

The heavy, weight-bearing fists repeatedly struck Seo Eui-woo’s face perfectly. On his youthful and clear, good-looking face… his white, innocent, and beautiful face, which Kwon Jae-jin couldn’t help but admire every time he saw it, was brutally beaten.

Seo Eui-woo, who had tilted his head back, spat out blood from his mouth. His cheeks were red and swollen, and his eyes were puffy.

Kwon Jae-jin gasped roughly and stared blankly at the injured Seo Eui-woo.

His chest rose and fell rapidly. He was panting so hard, but he still couldn’t catch his breath. He felt suffocated, his chest was numb, he couldn’t breathe, and he felt like he was about to faint with his eyes open.

“Seo Eui-woo.”

“…Yes.”

“Seo Eui-woo… you.”

“Yes, Jae-jin.”

“Ugh…”

Kwon Jae-jin pushed Seo Eui-woo away. As Kwon Jae-jin wanted, Seo Eui-woo retreated all the way to the end of the bed without the slightest resistance.

“No matter what, you hate it? You can’t do it…?”

“…”

“Then, me too. I can’t do it anymore either.”

Kwon Jae-jin muttered as if declaring it alone. His black pupils were shaking violently, unlike usual.

“I can’t Guide anymore. As of today, I won’t Guide Seo Eui-woo anymore.”

“What did you say?”