TTOA Chapter 47

What was there to really…?

Why the hesitation now… It was upsetting.

“You see… actually, I’ve never really truly trusted anyone before.”

Seo Eui-woo calmly murmured, wearing an enigmatic and tranquil smile.

The expression on his face was new. Another side of him that Kwon Jae-jin didn’t recognize, had never seen before. It felt as if he was finally getting closer to Seo Eui-woo’s true self, for some reason.

“As Jae-jin knows, I had to constantly maintain a perfect facade of lies ever since my training days. So, I want to trust Jae-jin, but it’s not exactly easy for me.”

“Yes… I understand what you mean. You’ve had to pretend to be okay, to be normal, since you were young.”

“That’s right.”

“So, Seo Eui-woo is still worrying about that even now? Trying to put on an act, to deceive me into thinking you’re fine? Why are you even wasting your time with such pointless concerns? Just speak honestly.”

“……”

“I trust Seo Eui-woo, and I hope Seo Eui-woo trusts me just as much. Just tell me. Whatever it is you have to say, I honestly don’t care anymore.”

“… Jae-jin really, truly wants me to do that?”

Kwon Jae-jin nodded firmly.

Seo Eui-woo double-checked.

“No, not just a nod like that. Answer carefully.”

“Huh… What?”

“If I trust Jae-jin, if I tell you the truth, would it really be okay? Everything really will be alright?”

“Seriously, haven’t I been saying that over and over again?”

“Are you being sincere? Are you completely and utterly sure?”

“Well, even if I am, why do you keep…”

Seo Eui-woo, making eye contact with Kwon Jae-jin, slowly approached. Silently approaching, his shadow embraced Kwon Jae-jin as if trying to trap him. Thick, hard, marble-like arms tightly gripped Jae-jin.

So that he couldn’t escape.

“Jae-jin.”

“Yes.”

“There’s a hole in Jae-jin’s head.”

“Excuse me?”

Seo Eui-woo pressed his forehead against Jae-jin’s forehead.

Then, he breathed in a rough gasp and murmured monotonously.

“A large, black pit has been carved out. It’s quite large, clean, a trace of something having been completely uprooted.”

His voice sounded cold, yet also sorrowful.

“Jae-jin’s memories… have already been erased.”

“……”

“Perhaps it was the ‘me’ from before the regression, the ‘me’ from when we first met, who erased them.”

“……”

Like a frozen statue, Kwon Jae-jin stiffened.

He stopped breathing as if he had forgotten how to do so, and gradually became detached from his surroundings.

Seo Eui-woo’s voice, whispering right next to him, felt distant. As if underwater, the sound wasn’t clear. He couldn’t quite grasp what he was saying, or what situation he was in.

It felt like… it wasn’t real.

“I have a guess. Perhaps I did the same thing I tried to do but failed this time around. That thing that Jae-jin is holding onto and longing for, that thing he left behind in the 6th Residential District… I must have used a Mental-type Ability on it.”

“Already erased…? What kind of, what memories…?”

“For such a large hole to remain, it must have been someone who was with Kwon Jae-jin throughout his entire life. Someone from your childhood… It wouldn’t be a lover, hmm. A family member perhaps…”

“……”

“Jae-jin, do you have family? Can you recall anyone’s face or name?”

Why,

Why did the 1st round Seo Eui-woo cry so often?

Crying, begging, clinging, pleading, kneeling.

Why.

Why did he so desperately regret and repent his mistakes, apologizing to Kwon Jae-jin?

Why!

What crime did the 1st round Seo Eui-woo…

commit against Kwon Jae-jin, that he was so desperate…?

“Nothing.”

Kwon Jae-jin muttered hollowly.

He felt as if he was falling, even though he was sitting upright on a plush sofa.

Where had Jae-jin been standing until now, and where had he just fallen?

“I don’t remember anything. Family, did I, did I have such a thing…?”

He was instantly thrown from a peaceful paradise into the inferno of hell.

It was the ultimate culmination of a disastrous calamity from which he would never be able to escape, not even a second time.

“I’m sorry.”

Seo Eui-woo sighed, offering words of comfort. Kwon Jae-jin didn’t even hear them.

Jae-jin remained frozen like a boulder for a long time. The blood in his body cooled, his flesh solidified, as if he had become an inanimate object instead of a living creature. Just like a dead person. He had become an empty corpse, his soul having escaped.

“Ha…”

Kwon Jae-jin let out a hollow laugh.

The light laughter gradually grew louder and more intense.

“Hahaha, ahahahaha! Euhahahahak!”

Kwon Jae-jin, tightly embraced by Seo Eui-woo, trembled as he laughed loudly. Like a person tied to a pillar and burned at the stake. He laughed, screaming in a high and noisy manner.

Seo Eui-woo. You crazy bastard. You fucking crazy bastard. You crazy… son of a bitch. You goddamn son of a bitch.

He had been deceived. Completely.

He had been beautifully and easily tricked.

*

Humans are all born from the flesh and blood of other humans.

Relationships connected by bloodlines are called consanguinity, and the closest relatives are called family.

Family.

Parents, siblings, …family.

‘Why didn’t I suspect anything even once?’

Kwon Jae-jin was not a being who fell from the sky, nor did he spring up from the earth. He was a human who had inherited the blood of someone, so why had he completely forgotten his roots until now?

As if they had been artificially deleted.

‘I should have a family, I must have one. Not remembering their names, their faces, or even who they are… it’s ridiculous.’

He should have been suspicious from the beginning. He should have questioned and dug deeper.

But he was so preoccupied with dying in the Gate incident, regressing, and reuniting with Seo Eui-woo that he failed to notice this suspiciously severed link.

‘Am I a fucking idiot?’

He occasionally thought about work. He thought about his life as an ordinary citizen, and he thought about his home. Memories of living in rented rooms. But how could he remember all those trivial matters while pushing aside the most important thing, his family, and not even thinking about them once?

The answer was obvious. Because Seo Eui-woo had erased them.

The 1st round Seo Eui-woo had meticulously selected only the memories of Kwon Jae-jin’s family and completely erased them as if they had never existed!

‘That fucking crazy psycho bastard.’

Yes, he knew from the beginning that Seo Eui-woo was a son of a bitch.

He knew he was a deranged lunatic who had gone crazy over Guiding.

But even so, wasn’t this too much? A complete trash, a rotten bastard, a motherfucking son of a bitch…?

‘Why did he hide it? When was he planning to tell the truth? Or, did he not plan to tell me at all? No wonder I didn’t know anything about Mental-type abilities? So, that bastard was really planning to hide everything until the end and deceive me with lies…? Ah… you son of a bitch. I want to chew you up and spit you out. Who gave you permission? Who do you think you are messing with my memories…?! You fucking! Shithead! You bastard!!’

Seo Eui-woo had manipulated Kwon Jae-jin.

He had deceived and betrayed him.

Erasing Kwon Jae-jin’s original, innate life, forcing him to live only as Seo Eui-woo’s Guide. Making him accept him with a mind that was dominated by him.

Since Seo Eui-woo was the only one left in Kwon Jae-jin’s life, wouldn’t he have no choice but to be with him?

Having forgotten his blood relatives, with a mind that only knew Seo Eui-woo, with memories that only contained Seo Eui-woo, what other decision could he have made!

‘I don’t know how much of this is my true feelings and how much is a lie.’

Forgiving Seo Eui-woo, accepting his confession, deciding to date him, since when… where did it all go wrong…?

‘Why did I even regress? When I was caught in the Gate, I should have just died. If that had happened, I wouldn’t have known the truth, and I wouldn’t be so miserable.’

Hateful, hateful, hateful…

Kwon Jae-jin’s lover, partner, precious, whatever…

Whatever he was…

For 4 years…

How could he have done such a thing to Kwon Jae-jin for 4 years…?

‘I should have just died without any regrets.’

Instead of trying to avoid the future of dying in a Gate incident, he should have ignored it. He should have rejected Guiding from Seo Eui-woo forever and constantly hated him. He shouldn’t have softened even a little, always be wary, and nipped any feelings of pity in the bud from the start.

No matter how hard Seo Eui-woo tried, he shouldn’t have liked him. He should have firmly and coldly pushed him away, whether that bastard smiled like a peach or wagged his tail like a puppy, and he shouldn’t have felt even a shred of affection for him.