TTOA Chapter 22
by VolareTaming the Obsessive Maniac (22)
#22
Kwon Jae-jin straightened up from leaning on Seo Eui-woo. He moved to the edge of the sofa, creating some distance between them.
“Jae-jin-ssi?”
“Ah, well, the position was a bit uncomfortable.”
“Was it?”
Seo Eui-woo moved closer to Kwon Jae-jin again. Ignoring his discomfort, he hugged Jae-jin and buried his face in his neck. He rubbed his cheek against him affectionately. It was funny to see two large adult men huddled together on the edge of a wide sofa.
Kwon Jae-jin sighed softly and pushed Seo Eui-woo’s head away with his palm.
“…You don’t have to cling to me like this all the time. I’m getting Guiding every day without fail, so it shouldn’t be lacking.”
“Aww, but still.”
“What do you mean, ‘but still’?”
Seo Eui-woo stuck out his tongue and licked Jae-jin’s palm, which was pushing his face away. He made a kissing sound and lightly bit his finger. He whispered softly.
“You know. I want to touch Jae-jin-ssi. Are you annoyed by me like this?”
“Yes, I am a bit annoyed right now.”
“Hmm… Jae-jin-ssi’s attitude has changed suddenly. It feels like you’re drawing a line.”
Seo Eui-woo gently rubbed his lips against Kwon Jae-jin’s knuckles, scrutinizing him as if trying to gauge his inner thoughts.
Seo Eui-woo’s face was intermittently visible between his five outstretched fingers.
His cheeks were flushed pink, as if he were experiencing his first love, but his downcast gray eyes were sharp and cold.
The gleaming, fierce gaze was the kind only someone who had witnessed countless deaths, and taken countless lives, could possess. Cold and calculating. Quick to judge and intuitively draw the right conclusions.
“Hey, Jae-jin-ssi. By any chance… are you thinking about that person?”
“……”
“That, the person you called your lover?”
Kwon Jae-jin didn’t react, but Seo Eui-woo was sure he was right. He chuckled and pulled Jae-jin’s elbow.
Kwon Jae-jin pushed Seo Eui-woo away again, but Seo Eui-woo forcefully pulled him into his arms.
“What, are you suddenly comparing me to him? Touching and clinging to your body so freely like this. You must have been very close to him in the past, Jae-jin-ssi?”
“…What are you trying to do now? Let go of me, Seo Eui-woo-ssi.”
Kwon Jae-jin spat out the words in an unpleasant tone. He didn’t have time to compose himself.
“Just kidding. It’s nothing.”
Seo Eui-woo smiled as he hugged Kwon Jae-jin tightly and counted to five.
“One. Two. Three…”
“Seo Eui-woo-ssi, what’s wrong with you? I said let go.”
“Four, five…”
“Why are you doing this… are you playing with me?”
“Haha, yes. It’s just a joke. Since you said I was annoying, I thought I’d be really annoying for once.”
Seo Eui-woo loosened his grip. Kwon Jae-jin freed himself from Seo Eui-woo’s arms and stood far away from him, getting up from the sofa.
“That kind of joke isn’t funny.”
Kwon Jae-jin picked up his tablet and turned towards the elevator that led to the second floor, stopping before heading into the bedroom. He had failed at escaping reality by counting the satellites of Saturn, so he thought he would rummage through the things he had piled up in the room on the second floor to escape reality.
“Jae-jin-ssi, where are you going?”
“I’m going to my room.”
“Aren’t you going to watch TV anymore?”
“Yeah, if Seo Eui-woo-ssi isn’t going to watch either, just turn it off.”
“I want to watch it with Jae-jin-ssi… I won’t joke around anymore, will you watch it with me?”
“No. It’s not like there’s anything I really want to watch, I’m just going to unpack the delivery boxes I piled up in my room.”
“Then, can I help you with that? If I open the boxes, it’ll be quick.”
“No, thanks. I’ll do it myself.”
“Jae-jin-ssi.”
“What is it now, yes?”
Kwon Jae-jin growled and turned around, annoyed by Seo Eui-woo’s persistent talking. Seo Eui-woo was staring at him with a blank face, devoid of a smile. His coldly sunken pupils seemed chilling for a moment, but soon softened, making him wonder if it was just his imagination.
“Jae-jin-ssi, you’re my Guide, right? Right?”
“…Yes? Yes.”
“Okay. I’m happy.”
“……”
“I’m really happy.”
After saying those simple words, Seo Eui-woo picked up the remote control and changed the channel. Kwon Jae-jin thought he would persistently cling to him and follow him to the second floor, but it seemed he was going to stay in the living room alone and watch TV. Kwon Jae-jin looked at Seo Eui-woo’s back with displeasure, then turned and got into the elevator.
The conclusion is, he’s just a Guide after all.
All he needs to be is a Guide.
Seo Eui-woo isn’t asking Kwon Jae-jin for anything more than that. His psychology is so clearly revealed that it’s almost futile.
Kwon Jae-jin got out of the elevator and remained standing in the hallway on the second floor for a while. He wondered if Seo Eui-woo would come after him, but Seo Eui-woo never followed.
*
In his dream, he saw a vast universe.
A transcendental stage encompassing space, time, planets, stars, galaxies, and all matter and energy. A primal world where the light and dark of black and white were clearly divided.
Among them was Saturn, with its large rings. Eighty-two satellites moved around Saturn in their own complex orbits. As he watched and observed them alone, someone he knew appeared beside him.
It was Seo Eui-woo.
Seo Eui-woo with his hair parted to the left. Seo Eui-woo at 24 years old. The Seo Eui-woo who had confessed to Kwon Jae-jin.
The man who had grown so much taller, easily exceeding 190cm, smiled kindly and called out to Jae-jin.
‘Jae-jin-ssi, were you here? I’ve been looking for you for a while…’
As his voice was heard, the vast universe crumbled, and only the two of them remained.
It was the same voice as ever.
As intense as the brightly shining sunlight, warm, and filled with a heart that poured out solely towards Kwon Jae-jin…
‘Why did you leave without saying goodbye? No matter how urgent it was, you should have at least said goodbye. Huh?’
The 24-year-old Seo Eui-woo, the one Kwon Jae-jin knew, reached out his hand to Jae-jin. He didn’t know if he should be glad that he could see him even in a dream, or if he should feel even more empty because it was just a dream. Kwon Jae-jin suppressed the conflicting emotions and took Seo Eui-woo’s hand.
No, he was about to take it.
When Kwon Jae-jin touched him, Seo Eui-woo’s hand disappeared, becoming transparent and without substance. Seo Eui-woo smiled with his uniquely shiny gray eyes.
‘Ah, look at this… It’s because Jae-jin-ssi was impatient that I ended up like this.’
Kwon Jae-jin was impatient?
What does that mean?
Jae-jin looked up at Seo Eui-woo with bewildered eyes. Seo Eui-woo raised his vanished hand as if to show it off and shook his head. He murmured as if it couldn’t be helped.
‘Why can’t you realize it… don’t you still understand?’
‘Understand what?’
Kwon Jae-jin asked blankly.
This time, Seo Eui-woo’s body was gradually disappearing, even though Kwon Jae-jin hadn’t touched him. He became semi-transparent like a ghost and slowly faded away.
‘Kwon Jae-jin-ssi killed me in exchange for his own life.’
Not only Seo Eui-woo’s appearance, but even his voice was fading. It sounded distant, as if submerged in water.
‘You directly changed the future. You actively interfered and arbitrarily shook up the 20-year-old Seo Eui-woo.’
‘……’
‘A person who was supposed to die lived, but would the other plans remain unchanged? What about me? Do you think I’ll be the same as before?’
‘……’
‘Now that the future has gone awry like this, do you think Seo Eui-woo will still like Kwon Jae-jin-ssi? Will he confess to Jae-jin-ssi? I don’t know…’
‘Seo Eui-woo. Eui-woo-ya.’
‘Jae-jin-ssi killed me. The feelings I had for Jae-jin-ssi, he ruthlessly trampled on the seed that would have sparked that flame. I will never be able to appear in front of Kwon Jae-jin-ssi again.’
The 24-year-old Seo Eui-woo. Kwon Jae-jin’s lover, partner, precious… whatever it was…
‘Even so, I understand. Jae-jin-ssi’s life is more important than mine.’
Kwon Jae-jin’s past and future faded away.
‘Take care.’
The brilliantly shining 24-year-old Seo Eui-woo faded away without leaving a trace. Kwon Jae-jin turned around in the empty universe several times, chasing after his vanished traces.
In that empty place where Saturn and its satellites were not visible, Seo Eui-woo was also not there.
Kwon Jae-jin’s Seo Eui-woo was not there.
Only vastness.
*
A chilly breeze seeped through his sleeves. Kwon Jae-jin, startled awake from the nightmare, pushed away the blanket and gasped for breath.
“Hah…!”
Cold sweat ran down his back.
His forehead was also beaded with sweat, and his hair was wet. Kwon Jae-jin hunched over, his shoulders trembling. Even though there was no way for the cold air to leak into Seo Eui-woo’s meticulously designed mansion, his whole body was unbearably cold and eerie.
“Ugh, hng…”
Seo Eui-woo woke up when he heard Kwon Jae-jin’s groan. He had severe insomnia and couldn’t sleep deeply anyway, so he reacted immediately as if he had been awake.
“Jae-jin, Jae-jin-ssi! What’s wrong, what… did you have a dream?”
Seo Eui-woo hugged Kwon Jae-jin and gently patted his shoulder. Kwon Jae-jin scratched at Seo Eui-woo’s arm and clung to him.
“No, don’t go…”
“It’s okay. It’s just a dream. Look at me.”
“Seo, Seo Eui-woo? No… no.”
“Yeah. I’m here. It’s Eui-woo ya.”
Kwon Jae-jin looked up at Seo Eui-woo with blurry eyes. His eyes met with the youthful 20-year-old Seo Eui-woo, and he unknowingly revealed a broken gaze.