TTOA Chapter 2

#2

Denial

Anger

Bargaining

Depression

Acceptance

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a prominent 20th-century psychiatrist, categorized the psychological state of a person facing death into the above five stages in her book *On Death and Dying*.

Although the situation was different, Kwon Jae-jin’s psychological state in his first life was similar.

He denied, raged, bargained, became depressed, and finally accepted.

If you ask what this grand introduction is for…

Simply put, the first Kwon Jae-jin had a crazy lover.

The first S-rank Esper. 24 years old. Seo Eui-woo.

Four years ago, Seo Eui-woo suddenly appeared before Jae-jin, a non-Esper commoner, and kidnapped him, claiming he had finally found his matching Guide.

“You’re the Guide for me. I couldn’t find you all this time because you were stuck in a place like this.”

Kwon Jae-jin, a common office worker living in the 6th Residential District, a Guide?

No way, it must be a mistake, no matter how much he ‘denied’ it, Seo Eui-woo wouldn’t listen to Jae-jin. He dragged Jae-jin to the Special Residential District, where only Espers and Guides could enter, and imprisoned him in his Luxurious 3000-pyeong Mansion, demanding Guiding by force.

Guiding, of course, involves physical contact.

Among them, contact through thin mucous membranes shows the best efficiency.

That’s why Espers receive different sex education from ordinary people from a young age and have special concepts of chastity.

To ordinary people like Kwon Jae-jin, acts like kissing and sex are meaningful expressions of affection that should be done with a lover, but to that bastard Seo Eui-woo, it was just efficient Guiding.

“It hurts, it hurts, ah, ugh! Huff…… Stop……!”

Because of that bastard with the unnecessarily big dick, Jae-jin had a terrible first experience with blood coming out of both his top and bottom holes at the same time.

At that time, he was really filled with ‘anger’…….

“My Guide… I finally found you, mine……. By the way, what’s your name?”

That bastard was all smiles, saying he could finally receive proper Guiding, that he was overwhelmed and happy because it was his first time. He bended his long, monolidded eyes, smiling innocently with his youthful face. Jae-jin couldn’t describe how creepy and disgusting it was.

Eventually, Jae-jin punched that bastard in the face, but Seo Eui-woo just let him, as if being hit by a commoner wouldn’t affect him at all.

Even the contact of being punched in the face was considered Guiding, and the guy grinned, baring his teeth, his face stained with dark madness. It’s a memory that still makes him shudder.

“I’m not a Guide. I can’t provide Guiding, and even if I could, there must be some mistake. Please send me back to the 6th Residential District.”

“Jae-jin is a Mutant.”

After that, Seo Eui-woo flatly refused Jae-jin’s request to be sent home after he had finished the necessary Guiding.

Espers and Guides belong to the state and are strictly controlled and managed from birth. And in cases like Kwon Jae-jin, where a commoner belatedly awakens their ability, they are classified as uncontrollable Mutants and dangerous factors, and are immediately eliminated.

“I’ll let you out, so you can be shot dead? Or I can hide you, so you can live as Seo Eui-woo’s exclusive Guide in my arms?”

Seo Eui-woo made an offer he couldn’t refuse, and Jae-jin ‘bargained’ with reality and became his exclusive Guide, trapped in his house.

That’s how ‘depressing’ three years passed.

Before he knew it, Seo Eui-woo had become a big part of Jae-jin’s life, and Kwon Jae-jin had no choice but to ‘accept’ him to some extent.

Well, it’s been three years.

At first, Jae-jin also vehemently hated Seo Eui-woo, and struggled to escape from the forced confinement. He refused Seo Eui-woo, who clung to him asking for Guiding, and fought fiercely… He was raped for three days and nights by the guy who was driven to the verge of a Runaway and lost his mind… He even tried to kill that bastard… At one point, he even thought about suicide.

In fact, when you think about it, it’s not Seo Eui-woo’s fault that Kwon Jae-jin awakened as his Guide. Jae-jin was just born a Mutant.

It’s not Seo Eui-woo’s fault that he had to live trapped in Seo Eui-woo’s house either. It was just to avoid the ruthless national policies.

Still, Jae-jin needed someone to resent, and since there was a hateful person in front of him, he couldn’t help but become sharper than necessary.

Well… anyway, after all sorts of, um… swear words, tears, pleas, bloodshed, suicide attempts, and… such dramatic situations, they spent their daily lives together, shared each other’s growth process, and, well, since that happened… Ha, jeez, it’s awkward, but the two came to understand each other to some extent.

Seo Eui-woo, born as an Esper, inevitably harbored a fundamental fear of Runaway within him.

If he, an S-rank Esper, were to Runaway, a disastrous situation that would be difficult to stop would occur. Many people would definitely die or be injured. As such, from infancy, Seo Eui-woo repeatedly received much more meticulous and systematic mental education than other Espers, so that he would fear his Runaway state. From an ordinary person’s point of view, it was just brainwashing.

Anyway, as such, Seo Eui-woo had no choice but to desperately crave Guiding, and for a long time, he had been unable to find a Guide with a proper matching rate, and was driven to the brink. There was a limit to enduring by substituting Guiding with pseudo-drugs, so he had been living with chronic side effects such as headaches, fever, dizziness, difficulty breathing, insomnia, and loss of appetite.

In this urgent situation, he had finally found someone who could properly Guide him, so it was perhaps natural for him to be so frantic.

However, Kwon Jae-jin was born and raised as an ordinary person, so he had no choice but to be different from Seo Eui-woo, who had no qualms about contact. Just rubbing and touching bodies with someone he didn’t like was only unpleasant.

Kwon Jae-jin desperately explained to Seo Eui-woo what an ordinary person’s concept of chastity was. He insisted that kisses and sex should only be done between lovers. After a long effort, Seo Eui-woo understood Jae-jin’s thoughts and… suddenly launched a confession attack.

“I know you’re reluctant to have sex because it’s an action that lovers do. …Then, if we become lovers, the problem will be solved. Let’s date.”

That crazy bastard!

Of course, he didn’t think it was serious and refused outright, but that bastard Seo Eui-woo was really persistent.

Later, Kwon Jae-jin was at the point of begging him to just give him Guiding without conditions and please stop asking him to date.

However, even though he was getting fucked and sucked as much as Seo Eui-woo wanted, that bastard was unmoved.

He continued to ask him to date, said he liked Jae-jin, said he was special, and well… so…

Actually, Seo Eui-woo’s face was really worth looking at…

There’s no such harmonious set of features in the world…

Well, it’s not like they started dating because of his face…

Face… Was it because of his face?

Was it because of his face?

I don’t know… shit…

Anyway, that’s how the two became lovers.

HAPPY END.

…It would have been nice if it had ended with such a clean happy ending.

One sunny afternoon. A Gate opened in the yard, and Kwon Jae-jin was caught in it and torn to pieces.

BAD END.

This was the story of Kwon Jae-jin’s first life before regression.

*

A faint headache gradually subsided.

Jae-jin reluctantly frowned and opened his eyes to see a familiar bedroom.

Seo Eui-woo’s Luxurious 3000-pyeong Mansion.

Both walls were surrounded by huge picture windows, and outside was a calm, lapping night sea. The ceiling was also covered with a round, dome-shaped glass, so it felt as if glittering stars were pouring down onto the bed.

For reference, all of that glass is specially treated high-strength bulletproof glass.

If you ask how he knows, he has no choice but to answer that Kwon Jae-jin has personally shot at it.

“Oh, you’re awake?”

Then, a familiar face popped up from between Jae-jin’s legs.

Seo Eui-woo was taking off his pants from below. He unhesitatingly opened his belt, lowered the zipper, and pulled his suit pants down to his knees.

“…….”

Kwon Jae-jin watched Seo Eui-woo’s face silently, whether his lower half was exposed or not.

It was a face he had seen countless times for the past four years of his previous life.

Those distinctive, dark, thick eyebrows seemed as familiar as ever, as did the languidly lowered eyelids inside the deeply sunken eye sockets. The long, thin eyelashes that tickled his cheek every time his tongue was sucked were exactly the same as he remembered.

Above all, those gray eyes were as he missed them.

Seo Eui-woo’s gray was a color that possessed both coldness and warmth at the same time. Sometimes it seemed so deep and affectionate that he felt like he would fall into it, but at other times it felt as eerie as a twisted and misaligned crack.

…He remembers the moments when he met that bastard’s eyes and swallowed all kinds of emotions, staring endlessly at each other.