TTOA Chapter 150

Seo Eui-woo painfully swallowed a sob. It was as if his torn wounds were visible.

Kwon Jae-jin didn’t wait for the first iteration of Seo Eui-woo, but instead resented him, felt betrayed by the bastard who erased his family and childhood memories, and said that he could never properly date that first iteration of Seo Eui-woo.

At first, he seemed to distinguish between the first and second iterations by sweeping back his bangs, but at some point, he stopped doing even that.

It seemed like he was getting along better with the second iteration of Seo Eui-woo.

He wanted to kill him.

The naive second iteration, the 20-year-old kid, had no idea what kind of time Kwon Jae-jin and Seo Eui-woo had spent together, and every time he did something outrageous to Kwon Jae-jin, Seo Eui-woo’s murderous intent surged.

The crazy bastard dared to lick whose eyeball conjunctiva, couldn’t even kneel down and beg right away, and just spewed out his inadequately controlled ability, and the clumsy bastard shoved him all the way to the rectum without any consideration, that son of a bitch, that trashy bastard…

When the security system malfunctioned and Kwon Jae-jin was about to be bitten and killed by a creature, he wanted to return and turn everything upside down, regardless of whether he went runaway or not.

What was he doing alone, dawdling so late that he caught the eye of another Esper? That son of a bitch. That crazy moron. That goddamn bastard, that crazy son of a bitch, that fucking…!

And, more than anything, the fact that he had to be stuck here alone, just watching…

The fact that he couldn’t interfere, no matter what they did…

He couldn’t go back, even though he wanted to, and he didn’t know how difficult it was.

He could only hope that the imbalance would be resolved as soon as possible. But to do that, Kwon Jae-jin had to Guide Seo Eui-woo even more, and to do that, the two had to be in close contact, and even though the other person was his past self, and only lacked the memories of the past four years, the core was clearly the same person, it was maddening.

“I didn’t think Jae-jin would forgive me.”

“Does Jae-jin hate me that much?”

“To the point that you can never forgive me again?”

“Even so, please bear with it for now.”

“I thought he would reject me even if I went back.”

“What exactly… what are you waiting for?”

“You’ll know as soon as that time comes. It will be devastating.”

“I thought he would say that someone like me is a thing of the past, that I’m no longer needed, and that I should just return the 20-year-old Seo Eui-woo…”

“Isn’t this the first time Jae-jin has waited for me? There’s something we’re doing for the first time.”

“You can be impatient. Just like I always was…”

“But what can I do? I want to go back.”

“…”

“I want to live with Jae-jin, no matter what.”

“…”

“No matter what resentment I hear, no matter what hatred I receive, even if you’ve forgotten me, I’m… I’m Seo Eui-woo.”

“…”

“I’m Seo Eui-woo…”

He wanted to do it himself.

Dating too. Love too. Revolution too.

So that Kwon Jae-jin, who had to hide because he was a Mutant, could step out into the world with dignity. So that this life wouldn’t be regrettable. Seo Eui-woo wanted to clear the obstacles in front of them.

He wanted to beg for forgiveness and confess for having acted so foolishly for the past four years.

He wanted to return Kwon Jae-jin’s family and childhood memories, which he had stolen, with his own strength.

It was originally Seo Eui-woo’s job.

By Kwon Jae-jin’s side. Seo Eui-woo’s.

His gray eyes, which weren’t even filled with tears, looked like they were wailing.

Even his calm voice sounded like a scream.

His indifferent gaze towards Kwon Jae-jin clamored with desperate longing and blood-soaked obsession.

Seo Eui-woo had been waiting all along.

Even now. Still.

Only for Kwon Jae-jin…

Seo Eui-woo put strength into the arm he was holding. He squeezed it painfully, but eventually couldn’t hold back and pulled Kwon Jae-jin in tightly. He hugged him as if to trap him in his arms, wrapping his arms around his waist and back. Because he couldn’t control his strength, his ribcage ached as if it would break.

“…It’s all meaningless now. Jae-jin was already dead before I could go, and that foolish past version of me couldn’t even protect Jae-jin.”

The grip of his hand holding on was absurdly strong, but the meaning of his words was the exact opposite.

“It’s all… over.”

The resigned Seo Eui-woo deeply buried his face in Jae-jin’s neck and took a deep breath. His cheeks were hot and dry. His inability to even cry made him look even more desperate.

“So, Jae-jin…”

“…”

“Shall we just die together…?”

He murmured faintly and slowly raised his head.

He brought his face to Kwon Jae-jin’s with an empty expression. Unlike his usual bold self, he kissed him like a ghost. His lower lip was pressed down and his teeth parted. Kwon Jae-jin’s eyelids fluttered.

“Ugh…”

He only overlapped their lips, but even this alone made Kwon Jae-jin’s heart ache as he felt Seo Eui-woo’s terrible wish. Kwon Jae-jin knew too well what he wanted. Because that wish wouldn’t have been any different from Kwon Jae-jin’s. He couldn’t not know what kind of future he had been waiting for. Because it was the very future that Kwon Jae-jin had been eagerly awaiting.

Seo Eui-woo desperately grabbed Jae-jin’s chin and clung to him. His large hand folded and pressed against his ear and ruffled his hair.

“Jae-jin, Jae-jin…”

While their lips were pressed together, it felt like he was being punched in the heart with a fist. When their tongues intertwined, it felt like he was being stabbed in the back. He felt like he was being trampled on, rolled around, and falling… as if he was being shattered into pieces.

Something that the two had desperately longed for was crumbling, turning to dust, and disappearing.

“I’m sorry… Eui-woo, I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s better this way. If we die together here… then, I’ll be satisfied with that…”

Seo Eui-woo relentlessly desired Jae-jin. But even that couldn’t relieve him even a hundredth of what he had been waiting for. He pressed his lips to Jae-jin’s eyes, licked his eyelids, and kissed his cheeks and ears. He bit and chewed on his earlobes and even left bite marks on his neck.

Kwon Jae-jin grabbed Seo Eui-woo’s shoulders and shook his head.

“I, I was wrong… I didn’t want to forget you either.”

“No. I know it couldn’t be helped.”

“But, this kind of thing, it’s too…”

“You were just doing your best every moment, Jae-jin. I know because I’ve been watching you here the whole time.”

“You should have just told me. That I had forgotten, why didn’t you…”

“I was going to tell you when I got back. That was our promise.”

“Ha…”

Kwon Jae-jin let out a cloudy breath and lowered his head. Seo Eui-woo chased Jae-jin’s face and pressed his cheek against his. His curly hair tickled his temples. Even though the feathery soft sensation felt as if it was being ripped apart by the claws of a beast.

Seo Eui-woo touched Kwon Jae-jin as if he was engraving his form into himself. He stroked his back and ran his hand down his waist. As if he had wanted to do this for a very long time, and as if he would never be able to do this again.

“Hey. Jae-jin, can’t you tell me too? I want to hear it too.”

“What… what…”

“That you love me…”

“…I love you.”

“Say, ‘I love you, Eui-woo.'”

“I love you, Eui-woo.”

“Tell me that you’ll remember me next time.”

“I’ll remember… I’ll remember everything about you.”

“Promise me that you’ll think of me a lot. When I go back this time, don’t ever forget me, love me, think of me often… and that we could have been good too.”

“…Why, why are you saying those things now?”

“Why else? It’s only me. Who can turn things around.”

“…What?”

His straight eyebrows furrowed. His dark eyes swirled fiercely with anguish like a turbulent storm.

Seo Eui-woo gathered his ability in one hand. The spiraling force swirled into his grasp.

The Seo Eui-woo of four years later was able to use much more elaborate and powerful abilities than the 20-year-old version of himself. His skill and application of manipulation were twice as high. He was experienced and mature.

“Jae-jin, you choose. Whether you die here with me. Or… whether you go back.”

He was given a cruel choice.

He wanted to ask what he meant, but he understood the situation so quickly. The realization ripped through his head like a lightning bolt, and the unfortunate fact that he was faced with an either-or choice strangled Kwon Jae-jin.

It felt like he was being hanged on a high scaffold.

“I can bring Jae-jin back to life. But, then… it’s the end for me. Once I use this ability, the passage will close. Jae-jin, you’ll live with the twenty-year-old Seo Eui-woo forever.”

“…”

“Or, we can just, not go back… in this passage… from coordinate to coordinate, wandering here like ghosts, and when we reach the end of time, we can die and disappear together…”

“…”

“What will you do…?”

It’s dark.

Despair blurred his vision, and a dagger-like frustration stabbed his heart. He was being dragged down the river of death, falling into the abyss with Seo Eui-woo.

He wished he could at least shed tears so he could outwardly express this agony, but nothing came out. This moment was even more unbearable than the moment his heart was torn and his core was split, even more unbearable than the moment he was swept away by the Gate and his limbs were torn apart.

“…I.”

Between the overwhelming and erupting emotions, Kwon Jae-jin grabbed Seo Eui-woo’s hand.

Seo Eui-woo let out a puff of air and shook his head.

“No. We can’t do this.”

Kwon Jae-jin tightened his grip.

“Let’s go.”

“Are you stupid? You have to leave me behind and go back. You have to choose that.”

“I don’t care, let’s go together.”

“You have to say your goodbyes, hug me, kiss me, throw out a few nice words, and then leave me behind, right? You have to go back to that kid who doesn’t know anything and live together, right? That’s the obvious right answer. Isn’t it?”

“No. It’s not. So don’t think about anything else and just…”

“Why… why isn’t it? What are you going to do… what are you going to do?”