SOL Chapter 14

Balcony at Dawn and Dusk (Part 2)

Balcony at Dawn and Dusk (Part 2)

Li Shan was remarkably proactive.

This was something Li Huai Su would have never imagined in the past. Aside from their childhood, Li Shan rarely showed such attachment towards him, always extremely restrained and respectful.

Since entering the Cui Wei Sword Pavilion, Li Shan had gradually become independent, no longer needing his older brother to protect him or shield him from the wind and rain.

Now, the hand that Li Shan used only to wield a sword was clumsily undoing his belt, awkwardly trying to please him.

His face wore a pleading expression, as if seeking forgiveness after making a mistake. The blush on his cheeks was the lingering effect of their previous lovemaking, like cheap rouge watercolor, dyeing his originally indifferent and aloof face with a gaudy color. His clear black and white eyes seemed to tremble slightly.

Or perhaps it was like red candles reflecting on snow, which might vanish without a trace with the sunrise tomorrow.

Thinking of this, a vile, almost trembling pleasure surged in Li Huai Su’s heart.

Thanks to him, Li Shan’s Withered Wood Meeting Spring had been broken. He had been expelled from the Cui Wei Sword Pavilion and the entire Immortal Sect, reaching the end of all his paths.

His whole world had nothing left but him, his Li Lang. In this world, he had nowhere else to go but this small dwelling in the Li Garden.

Amidst the chaos, Li Huai Su heard Li Shan’s mournful plea, his words indistinct, “Li Lang, Li Lang, let me have a child for you.”

Li Huai Su felt a string in his mind snap abruptly, and he closed his eyes almost self-destructively—

So be it. He could be both his sea of suffering and his sea of desire.

…

Li Huai Su woke up early. He glanced at his side, and the handful of snow had not melted, still sleeping quietly beside him. His fingertips lightly tugged at Li Huai Su, as if still fearing abandonment in his dreams.

All Li Shan had learned from his childhood playmate was to use a child with shared blood to tie down his husband’s heart.

Li Huai Su slowly sat up, took Li Shan’s fingertips, and tucked them into the quilt. The warmth of their interlaced fingers brought a sense of reality, as if proving that everything that had happened last night was not a dream. Li Huai Su tucked in the corners of the quilt for him before lightly getting up, draped in a gray robe.

A snow-white camellia was tucked by the window, still carrying fresh morning dew. It was the kind most often planted in the temple in the Peach Blossom Spring.

A note was wrapped around the flower branch. Li Huai Su unfolded it and saw several bold characters written on it, as unrestrained as Shi En’s own behavior: “South Mountain towering, male fox leisurely.”

Below it was written: “Flowers complement beauty, hoping you will pass it on.”

Blue and red flames rose from the branches of the camellia. The snow-white petals, full of juice, instantly curled up and charred under the heat and fire, turning into a handful of ashes in an instant.

In his sleep, Li Shan seemed to sense something and suddenly woke up, his eyes meeting Li Huai Su’s by the window.

Li Shan stared at him blankly, as if he hadn’t yet awakened from a nightmare.

Looking at him like this, Li Huai Su felt an inexplicable tenderness in his heart. He leaned his elbows on the window frame, opened his fingers, and the ashes flew away with the morning breeze. He said to Li Shan in a gentle voice, “It’s still early, rest a little longer.”

Without red candles or passion, they seemed like an ordinary couple.

Since then, it was as if a switch had been flipped in Li Shan, and he was always clinging to Li Huai Su. His light-colored eyes could neither hide his thoughts nor reveal them. The two were unexpectedly compatible in bed, and when things got intense, Li Shan would even reveal a state of uncontrollable indulgence.

Li Huai Su knew that he was still uneasy about Shi En’s previous actions, so he used all kinds of tricks to please and appease him. But this clumsy posture pleased Li Huai Su greatly.

Worried that Shi En would come to harass them again, Li Huai Su returned the copper bell he had previously taken from Li Shan.

Having had intimate contact, Li Huai Su no longer restrained his not-so-subtle thoughts in front of Li Shan. He coaxed Li Shan to pierce the copper bell and hang it on his chest, and Li Shan only whimpered softly in pain.

Lifting his clothes, one could see the copper bell jingling with every movement during lovemaking, a clear and obvious mark enough to let anyone know that this was a dog with an owner.

The consequence of unrestrained behavior was that Li Shan became pregnant again in the second spring.

It started with discomfort, but compared to the last pregnancy, which almost killed Li Shan, this one was no different from that of ordinary women in the mortal world, except that he had a poor appetite.

Li Huai Su still remembered the misery of Li Shan’s last delivery and invited a famous doctor from the Peach Blossom Spring. Both the mother and the child were healthy. The doctor only prescribed some light dietary supplements and suggested that Li Shan walk around the house more.

Hearing that everything was fine, Li Huai Su gave a generous reward. The doctor grinned and said many auspicious words, which even made Li Huai Su feel a bit of fatherly joy.

Pushing open the door, he saw Li Shan quietly leaning against the bed, looking a bit dazed, as if he was a mother for the first time. He lowered his head and touched his still-flat belly with unease.

Li Huai Su did not immediately step forward but stood far away, leaning against the door, watching his cautious appearance.

Li Shan was now completely different from his previous crazed state in the Hualetian, when he couldn’t wait to cut open his belly and take the child, begging for death but unable to die. He was now a gentle and considerate virtuous wife and loving mother.

Li Huai Su felt a sense of superiority and pleasure in his heart—he also loves me, otherwise, why would he be willing to bear children for me?

He withdrew his thoughts and slowly stepped forward, walking to Li Shan’s side.

Li Shan raised his eyes to look at him, and a faint flame was dancing gently in the depths of his eyes, as if confirming something with Li Huai Su. It must be a joyful flame.

Although Li Shan did not speak, Li Huai Su felt a strange telepathy.

He leaned down slightly and placed his palm on the back of Li Shan’s hand, feeling that connected bloodline under the thin skin.

In the chilly weather of early spring, the air in the Peach Blossom Spring in Jiangnan was also slightly cold. Li Huai Su felt the warmth from his palm.

He couldn’t help but think that it would be good if life could continue like this, in a muddled way.

Li Huai Su’s father died in such a cold early spring, at the prime of his life.

Li Huai Su was praying for the human emperor in the Cui Wei Sword Pavilion. This was the first time he had returned to Hedong in many years. “In the past, when I left, the willows were swaying. Now, when I return, the rain and snow are falling.” Hedong, where he had grown up since childhood, had also changed completely.

Li Huai Su had been cultivated as the heir of a noble family since childhood, and dealing with the aftermath and welcoming guests was not difficult for him.

The emperor himself came, what a great honor!

Li Huai Su mechanically faced the guests, facing Li’s father’s body and spiritual tablet, without a single tear.

The corpse had shrunk and withered due to death, making it almost unrecognizable.

Li’s father was a stern and unapproachable father, with all the problems of fathers from ancient times to the present. Their communication was often silent and formal.

Li Huai Su was not close to Li’s father, even estranged.

However, people living in the world, fathers and mothers are always the last barrier to resist the torrent of death. From then on, they can only face life and death directly, and their bodies are like unmoored boats with nothing to rely on.

Li Huai Su was wearing plain clothes and mourning, kneeling in front of his father’s spiritual tablet. The flickering candlelight illuminated people’s hearts clearly.

He had to admit that after years of cultivation, he had never truly transcended the world, meditated, or attained enlightenment.

He feared loneliness, and he feared death; he feared that people would return to dust after death, and even more he feared that no one would know after thousands of years.

Li Huai Su was Li’s father’s only son, and after Li’s father’s death, he was the destined heir of the Li family.

Before long, he would be welcomed back from the Cui Wei Sword Pavilion by the emperor of the human world, and officially take over the position of the head of the Li family. This was a heaven-defying wealth and supreme glory that many people in the human world could not ask for.

But when he had already glimpsed a corner of the secrets of heaven, and seen immeasurable life and the bliss of ascension to immortality, the wealth of the human world was nothing but an illusion to him.

Li Huai Su also knew that he had no chance of attaining enlightenment and ascension to immortality in this life, and could only watch from afar across that transparent barrier.

His master, Li Shan’s master, Guan Shanxue, once confessed to him while drunk—the wealth and nobility of the Hedong Li family was just an equal exchange. The heads of the Li family have always been short-lived, because their lives have been lent to the emperors of the human world.

Guan Shanxue also said that his life had been determined and he had no chance of ascension. Li Huai Su was just a mediocre mortal with mediocre talent. The only person in the entire Cui Wei Sword Pavilion who had the potential to understand the secrets of heaven and attain enlightenment and ascension to immortality was Li Shan.

Only Li Shan, only him. From now on, they were destined to embark on two completely different lives, perhaps they were different from the beginning.

How unfair is the way of heaven, but why?

He resented him, he envied him, his heart fire was so hot that it almost burned his internal organs.

But Li Shan was always just watching quietly, as if separated by clouds and mud, like jade statues, empty stones.

Making him even more vile, ridiculous, and hateful.

The candlelight suddenly went out, and the evil ghost blew out the lamp.

Li Huai Su noticed something strange and turned around, only to see a young man dressed as a scholar. The Li family’s mansion was heavily guarded, but he didn’t know when this person had broken in.

He heard the scholar with green eyebrows and white teeth laugh loudly, “There is more than one path to the Spirit Mountain. Why doesn’t the eldest son of the Li family return to my place?”