Sun Rain Chapter 60
byIn the end, Fu Xuanliao successfully knocked on the door, just as he had wished.
It was just in time for dinner, and Li Bihan had prepared a table full of dishes. Back when they were at the Shi family home, there were many rules, and no one dared to speak at the dinner table. Now that they were free of that, Fu Xuanliao indulged in extravagant praise, complimenting everything from the presentation to the flavor and nutritional balance. He praised Li Bihan so much that even someone usually unperturbed by favor or disgrace was beaming.
“You can smell this fish from outside the house. Even my mother’s cooking isn’t this fresh.”
“Be careful, I might tell your mother,” Li Bihan said.
“I’m telling the truth.” Fu Xuanliao used the serving chopsticks to place a piece of fish belly meat onto Shi Meng’s plate. “If you don’t believe me, ask him.” Shi Meng was naturally quiet wherever he was; when painting, he couldn’t focus on two things at once, and when eating, he couldn’t use his mouth for two things at once. Being inexplicably dragged into this flattery, he just gave a blank “Mhm.” Fu Xuanliao took this as approval and said, “See? I told you.”
Li Bihan was already in a good mood, and being surrounded and praised by the two young men during dinner made her even happier. She couldn’t stop after the meal and dove into the kitchen to research post-dinner desserts.
Shi Meng went off to paint and didn’t allow spectators. Fu Xuanliao, bored, rested on the sofa. Half an hour later, Li Bihan came out of the kitchen and saw him slumped asleep on the couch.
Shi Meng hesitated about whether to wake him. Li Bihan whispered, “He’s probably exhausted from running around these past two days. Let him sleep for a bit.”
“What was he doing?” Shi Meng asked.
Li Bihan shook her head. “He didn’t say before he left. It might be family matters. He hasn’t been to work in a long time.”
Shi Meng understood after a moment’s thought. After all, not everyone could work from home like he did.
Fearing Fu Xuanliao would catch a chill sleeping like that, Shi Meng picked up the nearby cotton blanket and covered him. As he did so, his fingers brushed Fu Xuanliao’s jaw, and the unusual heat made Shi Meng freeze.
Seeing him spaced out, Li Bihan asked, “What’s wrong?”
Shi Meng flattened his palm and pressed it against Fu Xuanliao’s forehead, then touched his own forehead. After comparing the temperatures, he looked confused. “He has a fever again.”
Fu Xuanliao had always prided himself on his strong constitution. Aside from some chronic respiratory issues, he rarely even caught a cold. Now, having continuous fevers in a relatively short period, he looked like a frail child, and he himself felt terribly embarrassed.
Shi Meng shook him awake and said he needed to take him to the hospital, but Fu Xuanliao adamantly refused.
Fortunately, they had antipyretics at home. He swallowed the medicine with hot water. Putting the cup down, Fu Xuanliao saw Shi Meng sitting beside him, watching. Shi Meng asked, “Do you want to lie down in bed?” Fu Xuanliao certainly did.
Shi Meng settled the patient in his own room, checking his temperature every half hour, truly treating Fu Xuanliao like a small child.
Although Fu Xuanliao hadn’t intentionally made himself sick, being cared for like this… was quite enjoyable.
It was just that Shi Meng sometimes took things too seriously; if he wanted to know something, he would relentlessly pursue the answer.
“Did you go to work the last two days?” Shi Meng asked. Fu Xuanliao didn’t want Shi Meng to know where he had been, so he vaguely replied, “Mhm.” “Did your father tell you to go?” “Mhm.” “He didn’t know you were sick?” “…I don’t think so.” “Didn’t you know yourself?” “I was just busy these past two days, I didn’t expect…”
He hadn’t expected that catching a chill from the rain would cause a fever, nor that excessive fatigue leading to low immunity would either.
Regarding this, Shi Meng said, “You’re not a child anymore, and I don’t need you constantly revolving around me.”
Fu Xuanliao’s heart skipped a beat. He thought Shi Meng was taking this as a ploy to gain sympathy. “I didn’t…”
However, before he could finish speaking, Shi Meng stood up and left. He was clearly annoyed, taking the bowl of dessert he hadn’t touched a spoonful of with him.
Downstairs, Li Bihan was still awake, knitting. Seeing the bowl Shi Meng was holding, she asked, “He won’t eat it?”
Shi Meng shook his head. “I won’t let him eat it.”
Li Bihan was startled at first, then smiled. “Are you two having a spat?”
Shi Meng shook his head again.
“Then… are you worried about him?”
Shi Meng neither shook his head nor nodded.
Li Bihan pointed to the single armchair and told Shi Meng to sit. She brewed two cups of floral tea and brought them over. The rising steam created an immediate atmosphere for a heart-to-heart talk.
Shi Meng had expected Li Bihan to ask about him and Fu Xuanliao, but instead, she asked, “Do you plan to stay here permanently, or do you have other arrangements?”
Shi Meng paused, then answered truthfully, “I haven’t decided.”
“It’s alright, there’s no rush,” Li Bihan said gently. “Hypothetically, if I, or Xuanliao, wanted you to return to Fengcheng now, would you agree?”
Long after the question was asked, Shi Meng still couldn’t answer.
Li Bihan had anticipated this. She smiled and said, “It is precisely because we know you are hesitant, and because we know you have unresolved issues, that we won’t force you to make a choice. Instead, we came here to be with you.”
“But, I don’t want you to be like this,” Shi Meng struggled for a long time before saying, “You will get sick, you will suffer… you will be unhappy.”
He was used to being mistreated and ignored, and he could never comfortably adapt to accepting kindness. He even felt that their relationship should inherently be painful and unfortunate.
Li Bihan, however, asked him, “When you loved him, did you suffer?”
Shi Meng nodded.
“Did you feel sweetness?”
Shi Meng thought for a moment, then nodded again.
“Exactly,” Li Bihan smiled. “You feel pain, perhaps even more pain than sweetness, but you are still willing to endure that pain for the sake of that small bit of sweetness.”
“You have experienced all of this before. We are the same.”
They were all persisting in what they believed was right—guilt, compensation, giving love and care. Everyone caught in the emotional vortex cannot escape this kind of pain. The important thing is whether the sweetness gained is worth it.
When Shi Meng looked up, he realized that the eyes of the gentle and beautiful woman before him were once again filled with tears.
“Everyone outside laughs at me, saying I raised Shi Huaiyi’s mistress’s son for twenty years while neglecting my own flesh and blood. I have regretted it and passively resisted it, but the truth is, I am still fortunate.”
Li Bihan neither flinched nor hid, looking straight at him. “At least I saw their true colors and stopped clinging to false hope. At least I have acknowledged you as my son, and I have many years ahead to treat you well.”
“Whether you are fortunate or unfortunate is not predetermined by fate, but decided by you.”
Since childhood, people had told Shi Meng that he deserved to be an illegitimate child hidden from the light, and that he deserved to be hated by everyone. This was the first time someone had told him that no person, or relationship, was born destined for misfortune.
Shi Meng remained silent for a long time, so long that the half-cup of floral tea on the table went cold, before he finally spoke: “Then, what about Shi Mu?”
He had so many questions he wanted to ask—Do you still love him? Do you miss him? Did you come looking for me because you lost him, to fill an emptiness inside? His thoughts were too tangled, and only a single name left his mouth.
Fortunately, Li Bihan understood him and immediately said, “If he hadn’t known about that incident, he would still be my child now. But he clearly knew, he was fully aware of the possible consequences, yet he still chose to conceal it, even using me to achieve his malicious goals.”
She was referring to the theft and framing incident. Mentioning the dark past, Li Bihan took a deep breath. “The moment he decided to deceive me, he ceased to be my child.”
She spoke lightly, but Shi Meng couldn’t imagine the immense strength and courage required to undergo such an earth-shattering psychological transformation. She had even sent her daughter to prison for his sake.
Shi Meng lowered his gaze and whispered, “It’s alright… even if you didn’t feel that way.”
He admitted he had hated Shi Mu, but whenever he thought that person was already dead, that hatred suddenly felt very light, slowly floating up and becoming rootless duckweed.
Therefore, he didn’t mind if Li Bihan still thought of them; it was human nature, and he should learn to view it normally. Even though he was someone accustomed to lacking things and wished that whatever he possessed was unique and exclusive.
But Li Bihan said, “What can I do? I only have you as my child now.”
She saw his kind nature and was comforted by it, feeling a joyful sense of confirmation.
“From now on, I will always be with you, and I will call you ‘Baby.’ ‘Baby, time to eat,’ ‘Baby, your painting is wonderful’… I’ll use ‘Baby’ this and ‘Baby’ that, making up for all the years I was absent.”
Li Bihan took one of Shi Meng’s hands, holding it in her soft palm, and placed her other hand on the side of his face. Gently, tremblingly, it was the first time they had been this close since the day they parted at his birth.
She viewed him through a mother’s filter, and spoke from the heart: “My baby, how can you be so beautiful, so adorable.”
Seeing her tears fall, Shi Meng was instantly flustered and, in his panic, called out, “Mom.”
Her smile was equally genuine. Li Bihan curved her lips and responded hoarsely, “Yes, Mama is here.”
A night of deep sleep always passes quickly. Opening his eyes to the faint light of dawn, it took a moment for Fu Xuanliao’s mind to register where he was.
His skin wasn’t as hot, and the dizziness had subsided. Fu Xuanliao sat up, wanting water, and turned his head to see a fuzzy head resting by the side of the bed.
Shi Meng’s hair had grown a bit longer. Perhaps due to his awkward sleeping position, a few soft, silly strands stuck up on his crown. Fu Xuanliao couldn’t resist reaching out to press them down; they sprang back up. He pressed them again, and they did the same—stubborn and temperamental, just like Shi Meng himself.
Disturbed by this, the light sleeper slowly woke up. When his sleepy eyes met Fu Xuanliao’s smiling ones, Shi Meng first stared blankly, then confirmed with an “Oh,” saying, “You’re awake.”
Fu Xuanliao was amused by his serious foolishness and laughed out loud, laughing so hard he choked and coughed, immediately earning a glare from Shi Meng.
After drinking water and catching his breath, Shi Meng asked, “Are you still uncomfortable?”
His body was still a little sore and weak. Fu Xuanliao blamed the fever on having returned to the company yesterday during his busy schedule, where he was forced by Old Fu to handle work, damaging his vitality. Leaning back against the headboard, he sighed, “I won’t die.”
Shi Meng remembered those three words; Fu Xuanliao had said the same thing the last time he had a fever. Afterward, he had nearly fainted. Therefore, Shi Meng was extra vigilant. He took Fu Xuanliao’s temperature again and even wrung out a wet towel, like in TV dramas, and placed it on Fu Xuanliao’s forehead.
Just as he straightened up after doing all this, Fu Xuanliao grabbed his wrist. “Sleep a little longer,” Fu Xuanliao pulled him down to sit, shifting over slightly. “Just keep me company.”
By the time Shi Meng realized there was something strange about the logic of “sleeping together,” he was already sinking into the soft bedding, lying side-by-side with Fu Xuanliao.
It was another early morning. A faint sliver of light filtered through the gap in the curtains, and the air flowed quietly.
Fu Xuanliao, however, insisted on breaking the peace, asking, “Are you still angry?”
Shi Meng looked at the ceiling. “I’m not angry.”
“Then… can I continue pursuing you?”
“Wait until you’re better, then we’ll talk.”
Thinking of the previous phrase, “Wait until you knock, then we’ll talk,” Fu Xuanliao chuckled. “You’ve learned bad habits. Did that brat next door teach you?”
Shi Meng said, “No.”
“Fine,” Fu Xuanliao said. “I’ll spare his life.”
After a while, Shi Meng spoke. “I have something I need to ask you, too.”
Fu Xuanliao wasn’t sleepy to begin with, and hearing this, he became even more alert. “Ask away.”
Having finally gotten Shi Meng to take the initiative, Fu Xuanliao quickly simulated many possibilities in his mind, including but not limited to the matter of seizing the shares back then, the incident involving ‘Blaze,’ and everything about Shi Mu.
Yet, he waited for a long time, his heart pounding like a drum, swallowing nervously several times, but Shi Meng didn’t ask anything.
Just when he thought Shi Meng had fallen asleep and let out a sigh of relief, his hand under the blanket was about to secretly reach for Shi Meng’s, when Shi Meng suddenly moved, turning onto his side to face Fu Xuanliao.
As if he had thought for a long time and finally decided to face things honestly, Shi Meng looked directly into Fu Xuanliao’s eyes. “Last year on my birthday, I made three wishes.”
This opening was completely unexpected. Fu Xuanliao recalled that time, the clearest memory being Shi Meng waiting for him in the rain. And he, driven by unreasonable competitiveness and self-imposed guilt, hadn’t even prepared a cake for Shi Meng.
But Shi Meng had still made three wishes, directed at the ice cream at the Amusement Park, the instant noodles in a bowl, or the sudden, fleeting downpour.
The first was—”I wished that Fu Xuanliao would stop hating me.”
The second was—”I wished that Fu Xuanliao would love me.”
The third was—”I wished that Fu Xuanliao would love me the way he loved Shi Mu.”
Three wishes with similar beginnings, even repeating in meaning, yet they represented Shi Meng’s heart, completely devoted to loving Fu Xuanliao.
People say the one who falls in love first loses. For Shi Meng, this meant that to love was to abandon self-respect, throwing himself onto the ground to be trampled into the dirt by others.
Encouraged by Li Bihan last night, who had said, “Why don’t you ask him yourself about the things that bother you?” Shi Meng thought long and hard and still chose the most embarrassing and foolish method: slicing open the past, laying it bare, bone and skin, before Fu Xuanliao, telling him—I am hopeless, I cannot let bygones be bygones.
Even though he had died once, love remained exclusive in his eyes. The more genuine affection he gave, the less tolerance he had for any impurity.
While others were paranoid and overly suspicious, Shi Meng, who had struggled with jealousy for years, only wanted to confirm whether Fu Xuanliao was seeing Shi Mu through him, or if he had genuinely fallen in love with Shi Meng.
It wasn’t that he couldn’t accept kindness from others, but he could only accept kindness directed toward the person named Shi Meng. Anything mixed with other intentions was unacceptable.
And in Fu Xuanliao’s reply, there was also an “unacceptable.”
Fearing Shi Meng would evade him again, Fu Xuanliao acted decisively, rolling over and pinning Shi Meng beneath him, giving him nowhere to escape and forcing him to keep looking at him.
Then he answered them one by one: “Yes, yes, and no.”
The moment he heard “no,” Shi Meng’s eyes widened. The explanation that followed, however, brought him back to peace.
The first—”I shouldn’t have hated you in the first place.”
The second—”I love you.”
The third—”If I must find a reference point, my love for you surpasses my love for my own life.”
Even though he had already seen the proof, Shi Meng only truly felt his shaken heart settle back into place when he heard Fu Xuanliao say it aloud.
Shi Meng confirmed again, “Really?”
Fu Xuanliao nodded. “Really. I made a mistake back then. The truth is, I always…”
Shi Meng raised a finger and pressed it against Fu Xuanliao’s lips, silencing the rest of his words instantly. It seemed that as long as he had that single, definitive affirmation of “Really,” he could believe anything.
“Shh—” Shi Meng yawned slightly, squeezing out a physiological tear. “I’m sleepy.”
It was like having a bucket of cold water dumped on him at the most exciting moment. Fu Xuanliao, who had a belly full of words left unsaid, was stunned until Shi Meng moved his hand, then he asked incredulously, “That’s… that’s it? You’re sleepy?”
Shi Meng, trapped beneath him, rolled over, silently counting to one hundred, thinking that since Fu Xuanliao had managed to hold himself up on his arms for so long without collapsing, he must be recovering well.
“Mhm.” But what he said aloud was, “How long do you plan to occupy my bed?”
“Naturally… the longer the better.”
It was as if a self-protection mechanism had been activated. The pain of years was temporarily buried underground, covered with a layer of asphalt, corrosion-proof and moisture-proof, impenetrable even by the heaviest rain.
Accepting something sweet without fear of being corrupted, without needing to rationalize.
When arms circled around him from behind, wrapping around his waist, Shi Meng, exhausted from his busy night, was nearly asleep. He heard Fu Xuanliao’s slightly mournful voice ask, “Then what wishes did you make this year for your birthday?”
Shi Meng yawned again and mumbled, “I won’t tell you.”