Stars Fall Into The Sea, Love Never Fades Chapter 16

Chapter 17: The opening of the road to public welfare and the murmurs in the night

After returning from the beach, Azhi seemed to be a changed person.

He was no longer wrapped in regret and pain like before.Although he still misses Qi to the point of collapse late at night, there is a determination in his eyes – he wants to continue Qi’s kindness and use practical actions to help more patients with depression like Qi.

In Qi’s name, he donated a large sum of money to the Depression Relief Foundation, and also took the initiative to apply to become a volunteer of the foundation.Every week, he takes two days to go to the foundation to help – sometimes sorting out patients’ information, sometimes chatting with patients and listening to their voices, and sometimes bringing Qi’s paintings to tell Qi’s story to the patients.

“Qi was a very gentle person. He liked painting, the starry sky, and the sea.” A Zhi sat in the activity room and whispered to a group of patients with depression, holding Qi’s “Stars Falling on the Sea” album in his hand. “He always said during his lifetime that patients with depression are not hypocritical, but just sick. What they need is not criticism, but understanding and companionship.”

A young girl raised her head and asked with red eyes: “Then… did he get better in the end?”

Azhi’s throat choked up, and he was silent for a few seconds before saying softly: “He didn’t. But he hopes that you can get better. I hope you can know that there are still many people in this world who love you, and there are many good things waiting for you.”

The girl’s tears fell, but she still nodded.

Ah Zhi looked at her, feeling sour in his heart.He thought of Qi’s appearance before his death, how he endured the pain alone, and his last desperate look, and the regret in his heart surged up again.

If he could have given Qi more understanding and companionship at that time, would Qi not have reached a dead end?

The smell of cedar around him came closer, as if Qi was comforting him.Ah Zhi could feel that Qi’s soul was beside him, watching everything he did, his eyes filled with relief.

“Qi, have you seen it?” Ah Zhi whispered into the void, “I am helping you fulfill your wish. I am helping people like you. You must be very happy.”

“Happy…” Qi’s voice came softly, weak but clear, “Azhi…it’s so good…”

A gentle smile appeared at the corner of Ah Zhi’s mouth, but his eyes were slightly red.

On the night when he finished his volunteer work, Ah Zhi did not go home directly, but went to Qi’s apartment.

Since Qi left, he rarely comes here for fear of being moved by the scene.But today, he wanted to stay here for a while and spend some time with Qi.

Everything in the apartment remains as it was.The paintbrush on the desk is still there, the starry sky puzzle on the wall is still there, Qi’s white sweater is still hanging in the closet, and there is still a faint smell of cedar in the air.

Ah Zhi walked to the desk, picked up a paintbrush, and lightly traced the penholder with his fingertips – this was Qi’s favorite paintbrush during his lifetime. He used it to draw countless paintings, including the “Stars Falling on the Horizon”.

He sat at the desk and opened Qi’s draft book. There were many unfinished drawings in it, one of which was the wedding scene between him and Qi.The two people in the sketch are wearing suits, holding hands, standing in front of a church by the sea, with the bright starry sky in the background.

Ah Zhi’s tears burst out instantly.He remembered that Qi had secretly told him before his death, “When we get married, I will wear a white suit and swear an oath with you on the beach.”At that time, he just smiled and said “ok”, but never took it to heart.

Thinking about it now, that was Qi’s most sincere wish and a regret he could never make up for.

“Qi, I’m sorry.” He choked, and gently touched the two people on the drawing with his fingers, “I couldn’t give you a wedding, and I couldn’t accompany you to the end.”

The scent of cedar lingered around him, and a warmth enveloped him, as if Qi was gently hugging him.

“I don’t blame you…” Qi’s voice sounded a little distressed, “Azhi… don’t be sad…”

Azhi leaned back on the chair, closed his eyes, and let his tears fall.He could feel Qi’s presence, Qi’s tenderness, and Qi’s love.

“Qi,” he said softly, “I met a girl today. She suffers from depression just like you. She told me that she felt like a burden and that no one loved her. I told her that she is not a burden and she deserves to be loved.”

He paused and continued: “When I said these words, I suddenly thought of you. Did you feel the same way at that time? Did you also feel that you were a burden? Did you also feel that I didn’t love you anymore?”

“No…” Qi’s voice was choked, “I know… you love me…”

“Then why didn’t you tell me?” Azhi’s voice was full of pain, “Why didn’t you tell me that you were sad? Why did you have to bear it alone?”

“I don’t want you to worry…”

Ah Zhi’s tears fell even harder.He knew that Qi chose to endure everything alone because he loved him too much and didn’t want him to worry.

“Fool.” He choked, “You are my lover, how could I not worry about you? I would rather you tell me and we would face it together than lose you.”

The two of them just whispered softly in the quiet apartment, telling each other their longing and regret.

Late at night, Ah Zhi was lying on Qi’s bed, covered with Qi’s quilt, and Qi’s breath still lingered on the quilt.He closed his eyes, and the smell of cedar beside him accompanied him quietly, as if Qi was lying beside him.

“Qi,” he said softly, “good night.”

“Good night…Azhi…”

This was the most peaceful night Ah Zhi had slept since Qi left.In the dream, he saw Qi, wearing a white sweater, walking towards him with a smile and saying, “Azhi, I’m here to pick you up.”

He stretched out his hand to grab Qi’s hand, but the moment he touched it, he woke up from his dream.

It was already dawn outside the window, and the sunlight shone through the gaps in the curtains and fell on his face.The smell of cedar around me is still there, as if Qi has never left.

Ah Zhi sat up with a gentle smile on his lips.He knew that Qi had always been by his side, accompanying him and protecting him, forever.