SWG Chapter 51

Chapter 51

Ruan Shengyi’s face flushed red, and she repeated in a low voice, “My leg…my leg is asleep.”

The pale and weak explanation only earned her laughter that was somewhat restrained for her sake, and the mocking of her shaker in the dark…

She got up in embarrassment and annoyance, patted the dust off her body, and said unhappily, “Then do you still want to go inside? It’s almost cleaned up.”

Xiao Wenyu laughed so hard that she couldn’t straighten her back, and waved her hand, “Wait, wait.”

“…Is it really that funny?”

If you keep laughing, I’ll have a psychological shadow when I grow up, alright!

Xiao Wenyu stopped laughing, but she still didn’t straighten up, supporting her waist. She reached out a hand, which scared Ruan Shengyi, who quickly grabbed it. “What’s wrong? Don’t scare me!”

She tried to help Xiao Wenyu stand up straight, but to no avail. The other woman’s waist seemed to be strained, and she didn’t dare to exert any force. All she could do was gently hold her arm.

Ruan Shengyi was scared.

Her voice trembling, she said, “Don’t scare me, I’ll call 120 now, please don’t scare me…”

That hand suddenly grabbed Ruan Shengyi’s arm in return, exerting a slight force to pull her forward. The woman chuckled, “Just scaring you.”

Though she said “scaring,” she steadily fell into her arms, gently hugging her waist, feeling her tremble with a bit of relief from surviving a disaster. She muffled, “You can’t take a joke, or a scare.”

“Don’t use this kind of thing to scare me… it’s not fun,” Ruan Shengyi said softly, secretly opening her palm, which was covered in cold sweat.

Joking about your own body is really too much.

But she couldn’t bring herself to say a harsh word. Instead, she secretly tightened her embrace, grateful that this embrace was still warm and comforting.

Could this be considered an answer to her question?

Ruan Shengyi lowered her head and said in a muffled voice, “Don’t scare me like that again, I’m really scared.”

“You… never mind, come inside first, it’s cold outside.”

This was a large tent, big enough for three or four people to lie down side by side. Ruan Shengyi had also carried a large support pad to put under the tent. Although it wasn’t as soft as a bed, the experience of lying on it was already quite good.

Xiao Wenyu crawled in first, and then realized how capable those two small electric heaters were. The inside of the tent was warm and cozy, urging people to take off their outer coats, but it was a little cold when they actually did.

She unzipped the tent, sat cross-legged inside with her arms open, and watched the other woman do the final touches.

Ruan Shengyi rolled up the tent cloth at the top, and the transparent skylight perfectly revealed the deep blue night sky above. She also adjusted the positions of the two electric heaters to make sure they were both within her line of sight before zipping up the tent and sitting down.

She looked at Xiao Wenyu and said, “Lie down, or you won’t be able to see the stars.”

“…So fierce.” Her finger gently tapped her chin.

“…?” Where was I being fierce?!

Ruan Shengyi rubbed her brow and said gently, “Then, please… wait, why does this sound so weird!”

Xiao Wenyu rested one hand on her knee and the other arm propped up her chin, looking at her with a smile that was not a smile, as if saying, “Say it, just those two words, say it.”

The pure-hearted Ruan Shengyi was about to explode, and waved her hand, “Whatever, it’s your loss if you can’t see the stars, not mine, hmph.”

After saying that, she lay down first, with one hand behind her head and the other gently resting on her chest, just like that, looking at the twinkling stars outside through the transparent skylight above.

Pretending to be nonchalant.

Xiao Wenyu smiled again.

So cute, she can’t take a joke at all.

She poked Ruan Shengyi’s arm, “That’s it? Is this your expression of wanting a ‘confirmed relationship’?”

Ruan Shengyi stretched out an arm, making a “please” gesture.

She was determined not to open her mouth!

Xiao Wenyu stopped pushing when she was ahead, and lay down along with her, shoulder to shoulder, heads close together, watching the twinkling stars outside.

It was indeed very beautiful.

She sighed softly, “It’s a good thing the months are still early, or I wouldn’t even be able to see the stars like this.”

The little pufferfish next to her said in a muffled voice, “It’s okay, there’s still the future.”

“The desert won’t run away, and the starry sky won’t leave either. We can come again when we have time in the future.”

The future, what beautiful words.

Xiao Wenyu closed her eyes and sighed softly.

Actually, she hadn’t hoped for the future. After all, as the months passed, she would slowly become less beautiful and less attractive. And the marks left after giving birth, and the concern that was taken away by the child, too few people could tolerate these things. She didn’t expect Ruan Shengyi to be that kind of person.

So she didn’t talk about the future, she cherished the present.

But what she didn’t expect was that the first person to talk about the future was actually Ruan Shengyi.

Xiao Wenyu closed her eyes and said, “The future, the future will be very difficult…”

“Not difficult, I’ve taken care of kids before.”

Xiao Wenyu: “…?” Wait, what?

She suddenly widened her eyes and turned her head to look at the person next to her.

The woman didn’t seem to realize how much of a stir her words had caused, and was still unhurried.

“I used to… have a younger sister, I had her when I was six years old, a very beautiful little baby.”

“Actually, no one in the family could take care of her anymore, so I took care of her for a while from scratch. Later, she was given away.”

“…2003?”

Ruan Shengyi closed her eyes, and then smiled self-deprecatingly.

2003, given away.

Yes, anyone who heard it would feel that this sentence seemed to have appeared in the wrong era, simply absurd, but there was no way to change it.

A pair of hands that were already a little cold were neatly clasped into another pair of hands, held in the center of the palm, gently wrapped, conveying a little warmth.

Xiao Wenyu turned to look at her, “What happened later?”

“Before I left Shacheng, I secretly went to see her. She was very happy, she had an older sister, she had mothers who loved her, so I left.”

“You…”

The person who had been lying down suddenly turned over and grasped that hand in return.

She hadn’t been wearing glasses since she lay down. Without the obstruction of the lenses, emotions flowed and fluctuated between their gazes, and suddenly, a tear fell down.

Ruan Shengyi: “So don’t scare me, I’ve really seen it, I’ve seen a lot… don’t scare me, really…”

Only a little light from above and the orange-red glow of the two electric heaters penetrated in, but it still allowed people to clearly see the woman’s red eyes and the turbulent waves flashing in her eyes.

Xiao Wenyu raised her hand and gently wiped the corners of her eyes, “Don’t cry, you won’t be pretty if you cry.”

“So, stargazing tonight is fake, you just felt like you could tell me everything about your past here, right?”

Ruan Shengyi didn’t answer, she only asked in a low voice, “Can I, hug you?”

“I’ve hugged you so many times,” Xiao Wenyu said with a smile, gently hugging the other woman’s back, gently patting her, “Tell me, I’m willing to listen.”

“That’s really a disgusting story, are you sure?”

“…Let go if you don’t hug.”

Ruan Shengyi smiled, but silently tightened her grip a little, and said in a muffled voice, “I don’t dare to say that sentence because my mother is a madwoman, and I don’t know if her illness will be inherited.”

“Now it seems that it is actually intermittent schizophrenia.”

Xiao Wenyu gently patted her, providing her with strength.

“It’s laughable to say this. In that era that was both advanced and open, yet backward and feudal, you wouldn’t be comforted if you had an unhappy family, but you would be criticized if you angrily resisted. My mother was someone who was both unhappy and resisted but failed to resist.

My mother, her name is Ruan Qing. She was subjected to domestic violence and always wanted a divorce, but everyone scolded her. She could only endure it until she found out she was pregnant with me. That day, Song Xiuyi wanted to hit her again, but she resisted. She pushed Song Xiuyi to the ground, and Song Xiuyi fell into a coma.

People can’t get divorced even when they’re awake, let alone when they’ve passed out. But at that time, she also felt that I was her angel, and she hoped that I could bring her comfort, so she dragged this heavy family forward alone. She raised me and managed Song Xiuyi, trying to be a good person, but everyone around her said she was irresponsible. Song Xiuyi’s relatives scolded her, and our own relatives also wanted to swallow the things Song Xiuyi left for her. It was simply…”

Ruan Shengyi’s voice was trembling so much that she was almost biting her tongue. These words weren’t her own experience. She had no memory at that time. These words were later relayed by neighbors and were the handle Song Xiuyi used to scold her later. Those knives not only pierced through her body but were also inevitably remembered by her, little by little, restoring the truth in her mind and then further piercing through her body.

Now that she thought about it, her life before the age of three was poor and difficult, but she and Ruan Qing depended on each other for survival. Although there was an immobile person in the family, it was a very good life, at least they were happy. Perhaps her love and understanding of Ruan Qing in the many years that followed came from that time.

Later, Song Xiuyi woke up. Before they successfully divorced, they ushered in a period of life that could be described as painful. She also had a fairly comprehensive and profound understanding of how evil evil people in this world could be.

Chaotic, promiscuous, after Ruan Qing’s severe depression turned into schizophrenia, she would even pull her in front of the child and conduct an extremely violent sex : love, clearly she wasn’t like that with other people.

In the two years after her younger sister was sent away, when Ruan Qing was so paranoid that she had to hide Ruan An in the closet to protect her, Ruan An had seen Song Xiuyi and other people’s sex: love more than once. It wasn’t like her and Ruan Qing’s venting, but it was equally disgusting.

The shadow in her heart was buried at that time. In her eyes, these things were either violence or disgusting, without any meaning or value, just self-indulgent depravity and drowning. It was as if as long as you came into contact with it, you would either become a madman or an insane idiot.

So why were they together? So why didn’t they separate when there were so many opportunities to separate? So why did they trap themselves until the end, becoming such an eternally unredeemed and unilluminated ending…

This was a question that was nailed into Ruan Shengyi’s head and was difficult to calm down for a long time. Later, she thought…

Ruan Shengyi sobbed, and said in a low voice, “Do you think Ruan An would have left if it weren’t for me? Without me, she wouldn’t have been trapped in that family, right?”

The answer, isn’t it, if it weren’t for her.