Silver Leaf Whale Chapter 40

how should i love you

Chapter 40·How should I love you?

After talking about that heavy past, Zhu Mingyue was already choked with sobs, and she softened her trembling voice.

“It has actually been less than a year since he stopped taking medication… His mental state is not very stable. I believe you can feel it. I don’t know if he will do stupid things again, I don’t know if he can recover, and I don’t even know if he will truly love anyone…”

She suddenly turned her eyes to Pang Jing, and her tone became more solemn: “I tell you all this because I hope you will be more cautious, for his sake and for yourselves. You are still very young, so don’t blindly invest in a relationship. This is the responsible behavior for everyone.”

After saying that, Zhu Mingyue sat for a while, but she couldn’t sleep all night. She couldn’t stand it anymore and planned to find a hotel to rest first.Before leaving, she specifically told Pang Jing: “Don’t tell Xiao Xuan that I’ve been here for the time being, so as not to put pressure on him, but if anything goes wrong with him, you must contact me as soon as possible. I will stay in Beijing for another two days.”

When Pang Jing sent Zhu Mingyue away and closed the door, all the strength in his body seemed to be drained instantly, and he slid to the ground leaning against the door frame.

All the questions have answers at this moment, but every answer hurts so much.

So that’s it.

It turns out that this is why he cannot draw, it turns out that he is afraid of accepting others, it turns out that the scars on his hands are like this, it turns out that the pain of losing his family once pushed him to the edge of life and death…

Pang Whale leaned against the door, eyes lowered. His chest felt as if someone had punched him hard several times. The bones of the hammer were broken and pierced into his lungs, making breathing painful.

He sat on the ground blankly for a long time, until the swimming goggles lightly rubbed against his trouser legs, and his soft head came to his hand, looking at him curiously.

Pang Whale raised his hand and touched the cat’s head. His fingertips touched the warm hair, and his tense nerves relaxed a lot.

He stood up slowly, holding on to the ground, and walked into the bedroom. Qi Zhixuan was still sleeping, sleeping deeply.The soft hair is close to the forehead, and the eyelashes hang naturally under the eyes, rising and falling gently with the breathing.

Pang Whale sat down on the edge of the bed, stretched out his hand, and gently brushed his cheek with his fingertips, feeling warm and delicate.

In the past, he always wanted to take his time, waiting for Qi Zhixuan to put down his worries, and wait for him to nod proactively.

But now, he didn’t want to wait any longer.

Whether he fights or robs, he doesn’t care. He just wants to tie Qi Zhixuan tightly to his side and doesn’t want anyone to hurt him again.

“Well…”

Pang Jing was so lost in thought that he exerted more force on his hands and actually woke the person up.

Qi Zhixuan stared, rubbed his eyes, sat up, stretched, and seemed to be in much better spirits.

“Are you awake? Are you hungry?” Pang Jing came forward, his voice was too gentle to be true.

Qi Zhixuan nodded and asked what time it was. Only then did he realize that he slept until the afternoon.

“Did you see my cell phone?” When he woke up and wanted to look for his cell phone, Pang Jing handed it over. There were a bunch of missed calls from Zhu Mingyue on it. He was scared to death. He hurried back and said that his cell phone was out of battery, but Zhu Mingyue seemed to be sleeping. In a muffled voice, he told him to remember to charge, and then hung up.

“Eat something.” Pang Jing brought out the vegetable and lean meat porridge from the kitchen and wanted him to sit on the bed to feed him. Qi Zhixuan refused immediately. After getting up and washing up, he sat down at the dining table and ate slowly with a spoon. Pang Jing sat next to him and peeled the eggs for him quietly.

The atmosphere was strange. Qi Zhixuan pretended to glance at Pang Jing casually while eating. He was still so gentle to him, but his face was always a little solemn. What’s wrong?Could it be that being sick scares people?

“Have you…did you eat?” Qi Zhixuan was at a loss for words. Pang Jing nodded and said nothing more.

“Oh… Then why don’t you go to training today?”

“I’m asking for leave.”

Short answer.

After eating and resting for a while, Qi Zhixuan felt damp all over his body and planned to take a shower. When he took off his clothes, he realized that they were not the ones he wore yesterday. He glanced at the dirty clothes basket in the corner and found that suit of clothes lying in it.

The clothes on his body…should have been changed by Pang Whale for him?

Oh my god… No, he patted himself, suddenly feeling a little hot in his face, and couldn’t think about it anymore.

Pang Jing was calmly clearing the table, but he couldn’t hold it in anymore. His feelings for Qi Zhixuan had always been kept in a small bottle in his heart. He didn’t care at first, but then it became full and overflowed. Now he knocked over the bottle, and it hurt so much that his heart was about to explode.

He walked to the bathroom door and slowly leaned against the wall. Qi Zhixuan was taking a shower. Some moist heat came out of the crack in the door, and the sound of rushing water penetrated his ears.

There was a mirror embedded in the washstand opposite. Pang Whale looked up. The person in the mirror had hot and crazy eyes, like a beast guarding its prey, about to show its sharp fangs.

After an unknown amount of time, the sound of water gradually stopped, “Huh? What’s wrong, do you want to use the bathroom?” Qi Zhixuan opened the door, wiped his hair and walked out.

The hot air enveloped him and rushed to Pang Whale, carrying the smell of vegetation.

When he saw Pang Jingchu standing silent at the door, he thought he was waiting for him to give up his position. He was about to go around when his wrist was suddenly tightly grasped.

Qi Zhixuan was startled by this sudden move, but Pang Jing was very strong. He looked up from his hand, and his eyes were a little crazy. He wanted to break away from his hand, but he couldn’t move. Even his eyes were firmly grasped and could no longer move.

“Qi Zhixuan” Pang Jing’s voice was hoarse and his throat was congested, as if he was suppressing something.

“Stop hiding and come to me.”

Come to me, he said this again…

Qi Zhixuan slowly lowered his eyes and stopped looking at him. He clenched his other hand into a fist and said tightly: “I…”

It seemed that Pang Whale couldn’t bear it anymore, so he pulled him into his arms forcefully.

“Well…” Qi Zhixuan was pressed into his arms with a muffled voice, pressing very tightly, as if he was being pressed into his body.

“Obey, don’t hide, come to me.” Pang Jing’s tone suddenly sounded in his ears in a very strong tone.

Come to me, come to me, come to me, why do you always say this, who in this world will always be by each other’s side.

“Pang Whale.” Qi Zhixuan was suffocated in his arms and suddenly called his name in a calm tone.

“Yeah.” Pang Jing rubbed his head, his hands were frighteningly strong, but his voice was light and gentle.

“Pang Jing, I am a very troublesome person.” Qi Zhixuan’s voice was a little softer.

He responded with another gentle “Yeah.”

Qi Zhixuan suddenly hesitated, his hands still clenched into fists, and his voice became intermittent: “Actually… I’m sick, and I’m not getting better now.”

“Yeah.”

“I can’t do many things, my life skills are very poor, my mind is not that clear, and I haven’t even graduated from college.”

“I know.”

“I… am very cowardly, a person who can’t endure much hardship.” I don’t know what he thought of, his head was buried deeper and deeper in Pang Whale’s arms, and his voice became smaller and smaller.

Pang Jing sighed and pressed his face against his hair. His throat was extremely tight. After so much suffering, this man still said that he could not bear the suffering.

Qi Zhixuan enjoyed his approach, but his voice became more and more trembling, “Actually, I’m very bad. If you like me, it will be very troublesome to be with me…” At some point, the tips of his clenched fingers gradually turned white.

“Qi Zhixuan.” Pang Jing’s embrace finally relaxed a little. He lowered his head, raised the lowered head in front of him, and forced Qi Zhixuan to look at him. His eyes were terrifyingly serious, “First of all, you are very nice, and I don’t like you.”

After hearing this, Qi Zhixuan’s pupils suddenly trembled, and his eyes were suddenly filled with anxiety and confusion.

Pang Jing suddenly smiled, “I love you, I love you, very much, very much.”

As soon as these words came out, Qi Zhixuan felt that the world suddenly snapped and focused all his perceptions on one person. His hair was not dry yet, and a few water drops fell on the back of his neck. His body had no feeling, but he caught Pang Whale’s gentle fingers and moved over to wipe him gently.

“But I’m afraid that my love will be too rough and scare you, and I’m afraid that my love will be too careful and you won’t feel it.”

Pang Whale’s eyes were fixed on Qi Zhixuan, like a vortex, as if he wanted to suck people in, and his fingers were still gently rubbing the back of his neck.

“You are like a precious plant. It’s so good that I’m afraid of damaging you. I worry about it all the time, so I can only try my best to keep it.”

Pang Jing’s hand suddenly stopped, his eyes were solemn and gentle: “So, baby, can you teach me how to love you?”

Qi Zhixuan looked at him, his eyes suddenly fixed.

love.

He said he loved him, and Pang Jing actually said he loved him, and he actually felt the love he said.

This is a feeling sweeter than apples and more brilliant than fireworks, like dry land pouring into clear springs, like moist gaps welcoming sunshine.

Someone had said love to him before, but he only felt numb or even bored. But when he heard it from Pang Whale’s mouth, he felt extremely longing. He wanted it, wanted it so much.

I had struggled, suffered, and been afraid, but in the end all negative emotions seemed to have been melted away by Pang Whale’s words of love.

Qi Zhixuan just stared at Pang Jing motionlessly, and Pang Jing also looked at him quietly. His eyes were suddenly filled with tears, and his shallow eye sockets could no longer hold them. They rushed out and fell on the back of Pang Jing’s hand.

“Don’t cry.” Pang Jing was a little at a loss and gently wiped away his tears with his hands, but he couldn’t wipe them all.

“I…I have never been a precious plant.” Qi Zhixuan’s voice was filled with tears, “You can…you can treat me as a weed. I am already…almost dead. Don’t keep it. I want it. I want it very much. Give it to me…”

If you love me, please give me all of them. Even if the flowers bloom this time and your life ends, he still wants them.

Qi Zhixuan tugged at the hem of Pang Jing’s clothes, tears almost drowning him, but his eyes were so hot that it was the first time that Pang Jing saw such eager vitality in his eyes. He held his face with trembling breaths and couldn’t help but kiss him deeply.

The two kissed very urgently. Pang Whale tasted the salty tears between his lips and teeth, and his heart suddenly softened, but his movements became more urgent. His tongue was impatiently stirring in Qi Zhixuan’s mouth, and his fingers clasped the back of his neck, pressing him closer and tighter, as if to completely fuse their breaths.

Qi Zhixuan did not flinch at all this time, but took the initiative to cater to her. He stood on tiptoes, opened his lips, and stuck out the tip of his tongue to respond awkwardly. He eagerly desired all of this, wanted it, he really wanted it.

Their rapid breathing overlapped, and their heartbeats collided with each other, making a thumping sound.

Qi Zhixuan was half a head shorter than Pang Jing. Kissing on tiptoes for a moment almost exhausted all his strength.Panting, he separated from Pang Whale, his cheeks were flushed, his eyes were blurred, and he said in a hoarse voice while panting: “Go…go to the room…”

Pang Jing was so stimulated by his words that he lifted Qi Zhixuan and led him to the room. He subconsciously wrapped his arms around Pang Jing’s waist. They kissed as they walked, and the air became hot.

When he was gently laid down on the soft bed, Qi Zhixuan was still panting slightly, with a thin red glow at the end of his eyes, and his wet eyes were like hooks, firmly attached to the giant whale.

Pang Jing looked at him condescendingly, his Adam’s apple rolling in a circle. If Qi Zhixuan was a grass before, he might have become a spirit today.

He couldn’t help but leaned forward and kissed those wet eyes.Under his thin eyelids, the blue meridians pulsed gently with his breathing, carrying a fatal temptation that made him uncontrollably kiss along the ends of his eyes and the bridge of his nose…

“Do you love me, Qi Zhixuan?” Pang Jing’s lips were close to his ear, his teeth gently biting the soft earlobe, and a delicate and sticky rubbing sound escaped from their overlapping hands.

Qi Zhixuan was covered in sweat, trembling and speechless. The water droplets hanging on his eyelashes were not clear from tears or sweat. They were mixed with the heat in his body and dripped down. He couldn’t tell whether they were tired or happy.

“Say it quickly.” Pang Whale added a little strength between his teeth, and the slight pain rushed through him like an electric current, making Qi Zhixuan suddenly come back to his senses.

Love?

He raised his head and looked at the boy in front of him who was full of him. His chaotic eyes suddenly became clear, with hot affection and enthusiasm. He raised his hand and hooked the back of Pang Whale’s neck and kissed him. His breath was intertwined, and the words trembled from his lips:

“Love, I love you.”