Chapter Index

    Chapter 68

    Outside, the thunderstorm tore across the entire sky. Flashes of lightning and claps of thunder mixed with the pouring rain, making this midsummer night even noisier and more unsettling.

    Bai Zhi hugged the plushie tightly, looking at the person in front of him. His eyes felt increasingly sore, and with a blink, everything blurred.

    As if afraid of disturbing the raging storm, he whispered, “I can’t see you clearly.”

    Under the warm indoor lighting, Xie Yuzhan could clearly see the person huddled in the nest. The other man was blinking his clear, tear-filled eyes, which looked utterly pitiful and lost in the haze of tears.

    He sighed softly, sat down on the floor by the entrance of the nest, bent down, and leaned closer. He gently wiped Bai Zhi’s tears and coaxed him in a warm voice, “Let me see, is that little rabbit dropping golden beans? Oh, it turns out to be a little rabbit named Zhi Zhi.

    “It’s okay, Zhi Zhi can cry. I won’t tell anyone.

    “As for not seeing me clearly… how about this, can you touch me? Your hands are your second pair of eyes; you can feel me.”

    Bai Zhi frowned, blinking his sore eyes, still unaware that he was shedding tears. Hearing Xie Yuzhan’s words, he looked hesitantly at the plushie he was clutching, and sniffled.

    He looked up again, his voice slightly hoarse and full of grievance. “I can’t reach you. You, you come in.”

    Xie Yuzhan’s brows furrowed slightly. He was starting to disregard reality; he must have been truly terrified.

    He slowed his tone as much as possible and said, “This nest isn’t very big. It’s just right for you alone. It can’t fit both of us. How about you lean out a little? Just a little.”

    Bai Zhi’s mind had currently refused to function. When Xie Yuzhan said this, he slowly shuffled over, reached out, and touched the other man’s cheek. He quickly felt the glasses, which were a bit in the way.

    He blinked and continued to whisper, “Cold.”

    Xie Yuzhan took off his glasses and placed them casually on the carpet. He cooperated with Bai Zhi’s exploration, not forgetting to wipe away the tears still tracing down the other man’s cheeks.

    After the little rabbit had stroked him back and forth several times, he asked, “Do you want a hug?”

    It wasn’t until his tears stopped and Bai Zhi could see Xie Yuzhan clearly that he felt satisfied with the touching. He reluctantly withdrew his hand and, with a slow, muffled tone, spoke again. “Give me your jacket.”

    To be honest, Xie Yuzhan was not very willing to do this. He didn’t want a hug, but he wanted his jacket—what kind of ridiculous logic was that?

    But what could he do? He could only comply with whatever his little ancestor requested.

    He took off his jacket and handed it to Bai Zhi, watching the other man clutch the suit jacket tightly. He sighed yet again, then asked, “Are you hungry? I can cook you some porridge. It will warm your stomach, okay?”

    Bai Zhi thought for a moment, nodded, and offered a serious suggestion. “And egg rolls. Put lots of corn kernels in them.”

    “Alright,” Xie Yuzhan ruffled Bai Zhi’s hair. “I’ll leave the bedroom door open. I’ll be in the kitchen. See you in a bit?”

    “Mhm.”

    After confirming that Bai Zhi’s condition had improved slightly, Xie Yuzhan got up and left the bedroom. Just as he reached the kitchen, his phone rang. It was a voice call request from Bai Zhi.

    He knew what the other man was doing. He put the phone on speaker and placed it by the stove.

    Bai Zhi listened to the sounds coming from the kitchen, buried his face in Xie Yuzhan’s suit jacket, and closed his eyes.

    The man had walked in from the thunderstorm, bringing with him a damp chill and a subtle, elegant scent that Bai Zhi couldn’t quite name. It was very fresh, a scent unique to Xie Yuzhan.

    The aroma soothed his sense of smell. The scent molecules traveled through his body via his bloodstream, gradually dispelling most of the fear and oppression brought by the storm. It was more effective than the Pikachu plushie and the nest combined.

    It made him feel incredibly secure.

    With the other person nearby, the thunderstorm wasn’t so scary for the rabbit anymore.

    He stayed curled up in the nest for a while longer, feeling lazy and drowsy, almost falling asleep. It was the slow drift of the porridge aroma that finally stirred his appetite. Smells good, want to eat.

    He had been too busy chatting during dinner that evening and hadn’t actually eaten much. After all that emotional turmoil, he really was a little hungry.

    Just as his stomach began to rumble, the person holding the tray finally appeared at the doorway.

    Xie Yuzhan heard the slight noise. He moved the low wooden table in front of the nest. Bai Zhi was sitting inside, and the position and distance were just right.

    He set down the late-night snack and ruffled the other man’s hair. His hair felt warm, and his whole demeanor exuded a lazy comfort. He looked much better than when Xie Yuzhan had first arrived.

    He handed the spoon to Bai Zhi and said, “Eat something to warm your stomach. The rain should lessen by the time you finish.”

    Bai Zhi responded with a muffled hum, looking at the items on the table, and silently curved his eyes into a smile.

    Besides the yam and vegetable porridge and the egg rolls he requested, there was also a rabbit pudding with ears, eyes, and a mouth drawn in caramel. The ears looked like they were made of chocolate.

    It was clearly meant to cheer him up.

    He had heard a series of egg-cracking sounds through the phone earlier; apparently, some were for the pudding. Xie Yuzhan was always like this—in addition to what he asked for, he could always provide just the right surprise.

    He took a few sips of porridge and ate an egg roll. As his stomach warmed up, his emotions relaxed further. He asked, “Aren’t you going to eat something?”

    Xie Yuzhan was still sitting on the carpet. He had learned this little habit from Bai Zhi and didn’t find it hard to accept.

    He replied, “I’m not hungry. You just eat.”

    Bai Zhi nodded. All his defenses and vigilance had been dropped during this crackling, rumbling thunderstorm night. The questions he asked weren’t filtered, just whatever came to mind. “Why did you suddenly come over?”

    Xie Yuzhan chuckled softly. “A certain little rabbit probably hasn’t learned how to coexist peacefully with thunderstorms yet.”

    Bai Zhi looked up at Xie Yuzhan, then continued eating his snack. “And?”

    “And what?”

    “…I have a hunch you haven’t finished speaking.”

    Xie Yuzhan wanted to ruffle the rabbit’s hair again. His voice was slow and still carried a soothing quality. “Your intuition is indeed very accurate. Before coming over, I was watching your live stream. Others might not notice anything unusual, but we lived in the same house for a year. I could tell you weren’t right.

    “Because I was worried about you, I wanted to come and check. I needed to confirm your condition with my own eyes, otherwise, I couldn’t rest easy.

    “It turns out my worry was justified.

    “I’m very glad I came, so that a certain little rabbit wouldn’t be left alone, shivering and terrified in the rain.”

    Bai Zhi awkwardly rubbed his nose. Em… the man hadn’t said a single wrong word. Who else was it but him, huddled and trembling from head to toe in the nest?

    He ate another piece of egg roll and said, “Anyway, thank you for coming and making me a late-night snack.”

    “What if I hadn’t come?”

    Bai Zhi shrugged. “Then I would have just had to tough it out. No choice.”

    Xie Yuzhan suggested, “Perhaps you could have also called me and asked me to come keep you company.”

    Bai Zhi pursed his lips. To be honest, he hadn’t thought about directly troubling Xie Yuzhan. He felt that given their current relationship, doing so would be… too intimate. Although, as the close friends the other man described, it wouldn’t be wrong.

    He adjusted his posture, stretched his slightly stiff legs and feet, and moved around. Once relaxed, he suddenly remembered something.

    He frowned slightly, asking curiously, “I never registered my fingerprint for you. How did you get in?”

    Xie Yuzhan paused, realizing that Bai Zhi had recovered significantly and his mind was working again, but with that came the questions.

    He carefully explained, “I rang the doorbell and called you, but there was no response. You were probably too emotional just now and didn’t notice the outside noise.

    “I was worried something had happened to you, so I took the liberty of entering. I apologize for that.”

    Bai Zhi’s eyes lifted slightly. He slowly finished the last egg roll and the remaining sips of porridge, then picked up the dessert fork. “You’re being evasive.

    “I appreciate you coming, but one thing at a time, Yu, Zhan, Ge, Ge, how did you open the door?”

    Xie Yuzhan sighed inwardly, feeling helpless. It seemed he couldn’t gloss over this.

    He took out a key and confessed, “Given that I have some connection with the original homeowner, I kept a spare key at the time, just in case. Don’t worry, this is the first time I’ve used this key, and it should be the last.”

    Bai Zhi nodded, understanding. “No wonder.”

    He paused, then teased, “You only say it should be the last time because I caught you using it the first time, right? If I hadn’t noticed… would there have been a second and third time? CEO Xie—you make me feel very insecure, you know.

    “Coming and going here as if no one was home.”

    Xie Yuzhan maintained a calm expression. He placed the key on the table and said, “It would only be for situations similar to today. I won’t use it at other times, rest assured.”

    Bai Zhi pursed his lips and mumbled softly, “I’m not very reassured.”

    Xie Yuzhan’s voice lowered slightly, carrying a hint of teasing. “At least I won’t sneak in and assault you while you’re asleep, like stealing a kiss?”

    At the mention of stealing a kiss, Bai Zhi stiffened involuntarily, then quickly relaxed. Impossible. Xie Yuzhan couldn’t possibly know what he had done before; he was probably just saying it casually.

    If he were to blurt out the truth, that would be self-incrimination.

    He picked up the key and put it in his pocket, clearing his throat. “I have a reasonable guess. This apartment doesn’t belong to some boss who was moving abroad. It’s yours, isn’t it?

    “But I didn’t find anything wrong with the owner’s information during the transfer process, so you must have gone to a lot of trouble.

    “You deliberately went around in circles because you were afraid I wouldn’t agree.”

    After saying this, Bai Zhi stared at Xie Yuzhan for a moment, then added, “I think this possibility is more plausible than you keeping a spare key when you handled the transaction. It’s more like your style.”

    Since he had been exposed, Xie Yuzhan didn’t try to hide it anymore. He smiled frankly. “Zhi Zhi truly understands me.”

    Bai Zhi pursed his lips. “I just realized it too late.”

    “Actually, it’s not too late,” Xie Yuzhan said, then changed the subject. “So, now that you know this, what do you plan to do?”

    Bai Zhi’s face was expressionless. He tasted the pudding. The delicate, smooth texture and the sweet, rich milky aroma brightened his eyes slightly.

    He looked up at Xie Yuzhan and said candidly, “I don’t plan to pursue this. I accept it.

    “After all, this is who you are—strong desire for control, strong possessiveness, and you’re prone to jealousy. It’s not the first day I’ve known you. I’m not surprised you did this.

    “Moreover, your actions are, to some extent, the result of my own indulgence.”

    He didn’t like others interfering with him, but if he was honest with himself, Xie Yuzhan wasn’t just ‘others,’ he wasn’t anyone else—he was just Xie Yuzhan.

    He should have anticipated the other man doing this.

    Xie Yuzhan paused, a strange feeling bubbling up inside him.

    Bai Zhi could see him, see the real him, and he wasn’t repulsed by these hidden, dark thoughts. Instead, he accepted them openly. To be seen and accepted—this couldn’t help but bring deep satisfaction.

    But the other man clearly wasn’t finished speaking.

    Bai Zhi shook the dessert fork and said seriously, “I understand, and I accept, but that doesn’t mean I’m not angry about what you did. So—

    “Yuzhan, I want to be alone for a while. See you later.”

    Xie Yuzhan understood the dismissal. Bai Zhi being able to say this already exceeded his expectations.

    He half-instructed, half-negotiated, “Will you go back to bed after finishing the pudding? The rain has lessened. Leave the dishes; you don’t need to clean up. I’ll come back tomorrow morning and make you breakfast as an apology. How does that sound?”

    Bai Zhi nodded, then shook his head. “I can take care of myself, don’t worry.”

    Xie Yuzhan couldn’t completely stop worrying, but he didn’t say anything more.

    He stood up and held out his hand. “My jacket?”

    Bai Zhi expressionlessly hugged the suit jacket in his arms and continued eating the pudding, not even looking at Xie Yuzhan. His voice was tight, making his words sound a bit stiff. “Leave the jacket. You can go.”

    Xie Yuzhan was silent for three seconds. Seeing Bai Zhi’s ears slowly turning red, he understood everything.

    He was starting to envy that jacket.

    He calmly withdrew his hand and continued to persuade, “Then I’ll see you tomorrow morning? I have to come back to get my jacket.”

    Bai Zhi nodded, speaking slowly and deliberately. He unexpectedly complimented, “The pudding is delicious.”

    “I’m glad you like it. I’ll make you other flavors next time.”

    “…Mhm.”

    Bai Zhi didn’t look up until he heard the door close, then he looked toward the bedroom door. Of course, he couldn’t see anything now.

    He slowly and quietly finished the pudding. Outside the window, the thunder had receded, and the sound of the rain had significantly diminished.

    He braced his hands on the table and stood up, draping the jacket he had been clutching over himself. He gathered the dishes and took them to the kitchen. Xie Yuzhan had already tidied up here; everything that needed washing had been cleaned.

    After finishing the simple task, he planned to go back to sleep, but he paused when he passed the living room.

    He changed direction and walked to the window, pulling back the heavy floor-to-ceiling curtains. In the dark, gloomy night, hazy neon lights shone, dripping with moisture. The whole world was wet.

    He stood by the window, one hand holding the curtain back, the other clutching the lapel of the jacket, looking at his reflection on the window glass. He couldn’t help but think of the jacket’s owner.

    When Xie Yuzhan mentioned his deceased parents, he said he felt a sense of being both very far and very close. At that time, Bai Zhi couldn’t understand it. What about now?

    In every scene that stirred memories, on every object related to the other person, there was often a momentary feeling of loneliness and loss—the familiar person had been gone from his life for a long, long time.

    But there were also many beautiful memories and warm comforts that shone brightly in certain moments of life. Some habits etched into his bones, some subconscious actions, all told him one thing—

    The person he cared about had never truly left; they were right beside him.

    Very far and very close—what exactly did this vague description feel like? On this rainy night, he finally understood.

    Was Xie Yuzhan truly not pursuing him anymore?

    Had he truly let go of the other man completely?

    Could the two of them really just be close friends?

    There were many questions. He repeatedly knocked on the door of his own heart, yet still couldn’t find the answer. Perhaps he should, as he used to, ask Xie Yuzhan directly, pressing for a full explanation.

    But right now, his mind was filled with tangled, confusing thoughts.

    This was probably the price of being human.

    For a pika, all that mattered was finding food and avoiding predators, focusing all effort on survival. But as a human, there were far too many things to consider.

    Of course, he was willing to pay this price. Transmigrating into a human was a gift.

    He cherished it deeply.

    Even if he couldn’t find the answers to certain questions right now, some things weren’t hard to figure out. Thinking of the key, the pudding, and the jacket on his body carrying the other man’s scent, he couldn’t deny his closeness and dependence on Xie Yuzhan.

    Yes, that was right. For the first time, he felt that he was dependent on someone.

    And that person was Xie Yuzhan. This made him involuntarily curve his lips. He felt… very happy, very fortunate, fortunate that it was the person he desired deep down.

    No need to hesitate anymore.

    He turned and quickly ran out the door. His legs and feet were still stiff from being curled up for so long, and he stumbled when he suddenly started running, not even stopping to retrieve the slipper he lost.

    He had something he wanted to say to Xie Yuzhan, right now, at this very moment!

    But the moment he opened the door, he froze.

    The person he was chasing was leaning against the door. Hearing the movement, he turned and looked over. Their eyes met, and for a moment, neither of them spoke.

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