Chapter Index

    Chapter 63 Chapter 63 Three Questions

    Pei Yan was leaning on the bedside and had just answered the last email.His brows were furrowed unconsciously, and he hadn’t had time to shave off the new stubble on his chin.

    Wen Yelan took a shower and walked in wearing light gray pajamas. He didn’t get on the bed immediately. Instead, he walked to Pei Yan’s side of the bed and stood still.

    Pei Yan noticed the shadow and raised his head from the screen. When he saw Wen Yelan’s expressionless face, his heart skipped a beat and he immediately turned off the screen.”What’s wrong? Are you feeling uncomfortable somewhere? Does your stomach hurt again?” He subconsciously reached for Wen Yelan’s hand.

    Wen Yelan let him hold her, her hands a little cold.He didn’t answer Pei Yan’s question, but looked at Pei Yan’s face calmly, from the thick blue and black under his eyes, to the deep wrinkles between his eyebrows, to his tightly pursed lips.His eyes traced the scene little by little, and his heart sank little by little.

    Pei Yan was a little embarrassed by what he saw.He thought Wen Yelan felt lonely. He left early and came home late these days, spending too little time with him.He quickly smiled, touched the back of Ye Lan’s cold hand with his thumb, and in a soft and soft voice, coaxed: “Are you bored? Blame it on me, I’ve been too busy these days. In this way, in two days, the day after tomorrow, I will find time, and I heard that a new French dessert shop has opened over there.The signatures are chestnut brown and something… oh yes, white peach oolong mille-feuille, the reviews are very good.I’ll take you there, we’ll stay there all afternoon, and you can eat as much as you want, okay?”

    The eagerness and flattery in his tone almost overflowed. As long as Wen Yelan nodded, he could immediately put the best things in the world in front of him.

    As Wen Yelan listened, the last slight fluctuation on his face disappeared.A thin layer of ice instantly formed in his eyes, which made Pei Yan’s heart twitch.There was no emotion, no expectation, no blame in those eyes, just a kind of thorough calm, so calm that Pei Yan’s heart began to beat uneasily.

    Then, Wen Yelan withdrew his hand very gently.

    “Pei Yan,” he said, every word hitting the bedroom like ice beads, “let’s talk.”

    The smile on Pei Yan’s face froze and faded little by little.The unreasonable panic just now expanded instantly.He was too familiar with Wen Yelan’s state.The last time Wen Yelan spoke to him with this expression and this tone was after he came back from Meiyuan and after he discovered the monitor. Then Wen Yelan went to the grassland and stayed away for three months.

    Great panic seized him.Pei Yan suddenly sat up from the bed, wanting to grab Wen Yelan, wanting to interrupt him, wanting to say, “No, we won’t talk, I was wrong, I will change it, don’t do this.”But when he looked at Wen Yelan’s eyes, all his words were stuck in his throat.He knew he couldn’t escape this time.His Adam’s apple rolled violently, and he responded hoarsely: “…Okay. What are we talking about?”

    Wen Yelan didn’t sit down, but still stood by the bed, eyes slightly lowered, as if he was organizing his words and giving Pei Yan and herself the final time to prepare.

    The silence for a few seconds was suffocating.

    “First question,” Wen Yelan finally raised his head and looked directly at Pei Yan without dodge or hesitation, “Pei Yan, in your heart, what is my identity now, Wen Yelan?”

    The question came too directly and too abruptly.Pei Yan was stunned and couldn’t react for a moment.What’s the problem?identity?What else could it be?

    “My lover.” Pei Yan blurted out, confused and with a slight sting of being questioned, “You are my lover, we…aren’t we all…” He wanted to say, “We all proposed, we all agreed to get married,” but looking at Wen Yelan’s expression, he couldn’t say the next words.He felt that this answer was perfectly reasonable and he didn’t understand why Wen Yelan still asked.

    Wen Yelan nodded, his face unchanged. He was neither happy about the answer nor any other emotions.It seems like this is just confirmation of an objective fact.This reaction made Pei Yan even more unsure.

    “Second question,” Wen Yelan continued, speaking at a steady pace but with a pressing intensity, “What do lovers need most?”

    Pei Yan was stunned again.What is needed most?trust?accompany?love?Many words flashed through his mind, but looking into Wen Yelan’s eyes, he suddenly couldn’t say any of them.He vaguely felt that the answer Wen Yelan wanted might not be these general things.He opened his mouth, closed it again, frowned more tightly, and fell into silence.The recent high-intensity work and pressure seemed to have blunted his thinking, making him appear particularly clumsy and powerless at this moment that required delicate emotional feedback.

    Wen Yelan waited for him quietly for more than ten seconds.In these ten seconds, the only sound in the bedroom was the faint sound of the air conditioner and Pei Yan’s gradually increasing breathing.

    Then, Wen Yelan answered it himself

    “It’s mutual support, Pei Yan.” He looked into Pei Yan’s eyes and said word for word, “It’s not one-sided protection, nor one-sided dependence. It’s two people standing together, shoulder to shoulder, shouldering each other’s shoulders.”

    Pei Yan’s pupils shrank slightly.

    “I know,” Wen Yelan’s tone softened a little, “The matter you are dealing with now is very big and troublesome, and involves many things that I don’t understand, such as shopping malls, capital, gaming… I may not be able to help you with any specific help, and I can’t provide you with solutions to solve the crisis like your partners or subordinates can. I don’t have the ability, and I don’t even have the money.”

    He paused and took a deep breath. His straight back relaxed slightly for a moment and was no longer tense.

    “But, Pei Yan,” his voice lowered, with a stubborn earnestness, grievance and exhaustion, “at least, I want to hear what you have to say. Listen to you complain about which difficult old man you met today, hear you complain about how difficult the negotiation of certain terms is, and hear you curse ‘so damn tired’. I want to know if you have insomnia in addition to smoking when you are stressed, and if you sit alone in the study in a daze.”

    “I want to share a little bit,” Wen Yelan stretched out his hand, with his thumb and index finger at a very small distance apart, his eyes fixed on Pei Yan, with sincere desire in his eyes, “even just a little bit of your negative emotions. I don’t want to just be settled by you.In a safe and comfortable glass cover, you only need to think about what to eat and where to go every day, and then watch you charging outside with scars all over your body, but when you come back, you still force a smile on my face and coax me, thinking that this is good for me.”

    “Pei Yan, I am your lover, not a collection that you need to carefully protect and isolate from all wind and rain.” Wen Yelan’s voice finally had obvious ups and downs, and the words were heavy, “I will also be worried and feel distressed. But you don’t say anything and keep everything dull.In my own heart, I have to bear it.What do you want me to think?I can only watch you become more and more haggard and silent every day, and then make random guesses and search for news on the Internet that cannot tell the truth… Do you think this is good for us?”

    He almost questioned the last sentence, his eyes watering.

    Pei Yan was completely stunned.He seemed to be struck by lightning and froze in place, his mind going blank.Every word Wen Yelan said was like a heavy hammer, making him dizzy and causing pain in his internal organs.

    We share joys and sorrows.

    All the composure and concealment that he had maintained fell apart at this moment.

    “Yelan…my Yelan.” Pei Yan’s Adam’s apple rolled violently and his voice trembled.He rushed over from the bed, opened his arms, and used all his strength to pull Wen Yelan, who was standing beside the bed, into his arms tightly.

    Wen Yelan was knocked back half a step and groaned.

    The next second, Wen Yelan felt hot moisture coming from his neck.Pei Yan trembled violently uncontrollably, and the hot liquid surged out, quickly soaking the collar of Wen Yelan’s pajamas. Mixed with his heavy and disordered breathing, it made Wen Yelan’s skin ache.

    “I’m sorry… I’m sorry Ye Lan… I was wrong… I was wrong again…” Pei Yan repeated incoherently, his voice muffled, “I’m not… I don’t think you can’t help… I am… I’m afraid you’ll worry… I’m afraid you’ll bother me… Those things are too dirty… I don’t want you to touch… me…”

    He spoke intermittently and incoherently, but every sentence was filled with fear and exhaustion.The negative emotions that have been accumulated for a long time are like a flood that has opened, pouring out along with tears and confused words.

    While crying, he kissed Wen Yelan randomly.Kiss his neck, kiss his chin, kiss his cheek, and finally find his lips, covering them greedily and desperately.There was no color of lust, salty tears mixed into each other’s mouths.

    In this way, he confirmed Wen Yelan’s existence and his love.

    Wen Yelan was so painful from his kiss that her lips were bumped and her breath was taken away.But he didn’t push away. He raised his hand and gently hugged Pei Yan’s violently shaking back, moving along it.

    He could feel the exhaustion and weakness caused by the string in Pei Yan’s body that had been tightened to the extreme and completely loosened. He could feel the heavy pressure and helplessness contained in those hot tears.His heart was also clenched and aching.There was another feeling of relief.

    Finally… said it out.Finally…he was willing to take it off a little bit.

    It wasn’t until Pei Yan’s crying gradually stopped, their foreheads touched each other, and their rapid breathing blended together that Wen Yelan moved a little.Use your fingers to wipe away the tears that were constantly overflowing from the corners of Pei Yan’s eyes.

    Pei Yan closed his eyes and felt the cool fingertips brushing against his skin. His body was still trembling slightly, but the huge waves in his heart slowly calmed down under such a simple touch.

    Like a drowning man grabbing onto a piece of driftwood, he held Wen Yelan tighter, leaning on him with all his weight, absorbing strength.

    After a while, Wen Yelan spoke softly, with a soft voice and a faint smile on his lips.

    “Pei Yan,” he called his name.

    Pei Yan opened his red eyes and stared at him closely.

    Wen Yelan looked into his eyes and slowly asked the third question tonight.

    “The third question,” Wen Yelan said, “We still have a long way to go in the future. We may encounter more troublesome things, greater pressure, and even worse situations than now. Next time, and the next time, when you feel tired, feel difficult, and feel that you can’t hold on anymore-”

    He paused to make sure Pei Yan’s attention was fully focused here.

    “Do you choose, like this time, to hide by yourself, exclude me, and let me worry and make random guesses, or are you willing to try to believe in me, believe that I am not so fragile, believe that I have the heart to share with you, even if I just listen to you, even if I can only give you a hug, and then the two of us face it together?”

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