On How To Defeat Dr. Qing Leng Chapter 55

Chapter 55 Chapter 55 You are not big, I don’t dislike you

Pei Yan ate absentmindedly throughout the meal.He didn’t move his chopsticks a few times, but his eyes kept drifting to the person opposite him unconsciously.Seeing him sipping milk tea, lowering his head to tear into cakes, adjusting his sitting position slightly because of discomfort in his knees… Every time I look at him, my heart collapses, sore and swollen, mixed with the fear of regaining something and the caution of not daring to touch.

He wanted to ask Wen Yelan if he still hurt, wanted him to eat more to replenish his strength, and wanted to lift the stray hair from his forehead that might be in the way.

But he did nothing. He just squeezed the wooden spoon in his hand tightly, his knuckles turned white.

Wen Yelan tried to stay calm at first, but later he was so disturbed by the gaze that he couldn’t concentrate on eating.He raised his eyes and met Pei Yan’s eyes again, which he had no time to look away.Pei Yan looked like he had been caught and lowered his eyes hastily, but his ears turned slightly red.He wanted to get closer but didn’t dare, so he could only watch secretly. There was no trace of his usual arrogant and domineering appearance.

It turns out that Pei Yan also has times like this.Like a large dog that did something wrong and was ignored by its owner for a few days before being reunited. It wanted to get closer but was afraid of being pushed away, so it could only watch helplessly without daring to wag its tail too hard.

Wen Yelan lowered his eyes, slightly curved the corners of his mouth, and then quickly flattened them.He picked up a piece of milk tofu and put it into the bowl that Pei Yan had barely moved.

“Eat.” His voice was low and emotionless, as if he said it casually.

Pei Yan seemed to have received some important instructions. He was shocked. He immediately picked up the chopsticks, picked up the piece of milk tofu and stuffed it into his mouth.After chewing it twice, I finally tasted it belatedly. It was slightly sour, rich in milky aroma, and had a dense texture.He is actually not used to this pure grassland flavor, but at this moment he just thinks it is the most delicious thing in the world.

“Yeah, it’s delicious.” He swallowed and whispered, looking at Wen Yelan with bright eyes.

Wen Yelan didn’t look at him, and took another piece of well-cooked mutton over: “Eat this too.”

“Okay.” Pei Yan accepted the order.

The other people at the table exchanged looks, wanting to laugh but holding back.Ling Yue sat opposite and had the clearest view, almost choking on the soup.She coughed twice and quickly lowered her head to eat.

As Wen Yelan watched, the last remaining breath in his heart had completely dissipated.He even felt a little want to laugh, but also felt a little soft-hearted.In fact, his anger had already subsided when he asked Pei Yan to help apply the medicine.It’s just that… he didn’t know how to cross that hurdle naturally or how to speak.

While she was lost in thought, Saihan came over with a fresh bowl of mutton soup and said with a hearty smile: “Mr. Pei rarely comes to the grassland. We will have a small gathering in Naadam here in a few days. It’s quite lively. Why don’t we stay a few more days and see?” She said, her eyes turned between Pei Yan and Wen Yelan, and she couldn’t hide the embarrassment on her face.

Hearing this, Pei Yan tightened his grip on the chopsticks, immediately raised his head, and looked at Wen Yelan cautiously with unconcealed expectation.

It’s up to him to decide whether he stays or goes.

Wen Yelan was burned by that gaze.He lowered his eyelashes, slowly stirred the soup in the bowl with a spoon, nodded quickly, and said in a very soft voice: “Well, it’s quite good, it’s worth watching.”

Pei Yan’s eyes lit up instantly.He wanted to laugh, but he was afraid that he would be too complacent and make the person opposite him unhappy, so he only dared to carefully curve the corners of his mouth a little, and responded in a low voice: “Okay.”

Saihan smiled with satisfaction, and winked at Wen Yelan before turning around and leaving.

In the afternoon, Pei Yan followed Wen Yelan step by step, helping to pass things and move not-too-heavy instruments. He didn’t talk much, but he had a strong sense of presence.Wen Yelan could feel his gaze almost glued to her, and his clumsy way of trying to please her.

After finishing work in the evening, Saihan “drove” Pei Yan out of her tent. The reason was that “a guest from afar came to the house and we couldn’t stay here.” He kindly gave him a thick quilt.Pei Yan hugged the quilt and stood on the gradually darkening grassland. Looking at Wen Yelan’s lit yurt not far away, his Adam’s apple moved.

Of course he wanted to go.Thinking about it makes my heart ache.But he didn’t dare.He was afraid that Wen Yelan would think he was pushing too far, afraid of disturbing his rest, and even more afraid that the fragile relaxation he had finally obtained would be broken by him recklessly.

He turned around and prepared to walk towards the off-road vehicle he had arrived in.It’s cold at night in the grassland, so it doesn’t hurt to turn on the heater in the car for a few nights.

Wen Yelan was sorting out information in the yurt when a small figure ran over. It was Nandi.She took Wen Yelan’s hand, raised her little face, and said crisply: “Brother, sister asked me to tell you that uncle has no place to sleep and is going to sleep in a cold car!”

Wen Yelan looked down at Nandi and was a little stunned. Nandi took his hand and ran out. After running a few steps, he happened to run into Pei Yan’s stiff back holding the quilt, and his heart softened.How could he not understand Saihan’s intention?

He sighed and said to the back: “Pei Yan.”

Pei Yan’s body trembled and he slowly turned around.

“Come here.” There was not much emotion in Wen Yelan’s voice in the dusk. He just stated calmly, “It’s cold in the car. I have room over there…”

Pei Yan froze on the spot, as if he didn’t understand.It wasn’t until Nandi made a face at him and ran away that he woke up as if from a dream, tightened his arms holding the quilt, and moved over step by step with some hesitation.

Entering Wen Yelan’s yurt, the space is not spacious.Wen Yelan’s bed occupied half of it, and the remaining space was filled with some instruments and personal items.Pei Yan hugged the quilt, glanced around, consciously found a corner farthest from the bed, and began to spread the quilt. He moved neatly, obviously preparing to lay the floor.

Wen Yelan sat on the edge of the bed, looking at his busy back, as if he wanted to shrink himself into a crack in the floor, and finally he couldn’t help but speak.

“Stop cleaning up,” Wen Yelan’s voice sounded in the quiet tent, with a hint of exhaustion and helplessness, “go to bed.”

Pei Yan’s movement of laying the quilt suddenly stopped, and his back became stiff.He slowly turned his head and looked at Wen Yelan, with shock, uncertainty, and an unbelievable surprise in his eyes that was suppressed to the best of his ability.

Wen Yelan felt a little uncomfortable when he saw him. He tilted his head and said in a firm tone: “The ground is cold. Come up.”

Pei Yan’s heart thumped heavily in his chest.He threw away the quilt in his hand, walked almost hand in hand to the bed, and stopped hesitantly, as if confirming the final permission.

Wen Yelan moved inside and made room.

Pei Yan took off his coat and lay down stiffly.The bed was not big, so the two of them lay side by side, their bodies inevitably touching, and they could clearly feel each other’s body temperature and breathing.The air was quiet and stagnant for a while, with only the slightest sound of wind outside the tent.

There are so many words stuck in my chest, so many thoughts, I don’t know where to start.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry.”

Almost at the same time, the two spoke together.The sounds overlapped and were extremely clear in the small space.

Pei Yan was stunned, not expecting to hear Wen Yelan’s apology.He turned his head and looked at Wen Yelan’s profile in the dim light.

Wen Yelan also turned around and looked at him, his eyes clear and serious.He pursed his lips, and his voice was very soft, but each word came clearly into Pei Yan’s ears: “I miss you too.”

Pei Yan’s breath froze.

“I know, there is something wrong with me.” Wen Yelan continued, his eyes lowered slightly, falling on the quilt close between the two of them, “I always hide everything in my heart and don’t tell you. I went to see Bai Yu, and I also checked those things… I am used to solving it by myself, and I am afraid that speaking out will appear troublesome, or… I will hand over the right to choose.The result is even worse.” He paused and said in a lower voice, “I’m just… afraid.I’m afraid of becoming a vine attached to others, and I’m afraid of losing myself.No one has ever taught me how to express love and be loved well.So when I encounter emotions that I can’t handle, I just run away and think about it. Maybe I can figure it out by myself.”

He raised his eyes and looked at Pei Yan again, with a faint light in his eyes, and a frank fragility: “But in the grassland, every day, I miss you. I miss the porridge you cooked,” Wen Yelan spoke faster and began to count in detail, “I also miss the sweet and sour pork ribs, steamed sea bass, tomato beef brisket, and the noodles you cooked, matcha cake, and taro. I also want to eat…”

He spoke a string of words as if naming the dishes, with a subtle nostalgia and grievance in his tone that he didn’t even notice.

As Pei Yan listened, the sour and soft emotions in his heart almost overflowed.He looked at Wen Yelan’s slightly bulging cheeks and the way he was counting the names of the dishes seriously. He felt that it was so cute. His tense heartstrings relaxed, and he couldn’t help but let out a very light and loving smile from his throat.

Wen Yelan was paused by his laughter. Only then did he realize what he had just said. His cheeks instantly turned red. He turned around suddenly, turned his back to Pei Yan, and buried half of his face in the pillow, leaving only the tips of his red ears exposed.

Pei Yan looked at the shy back of his head, feeling so soft in his heart.He no longer hesitated, stretched out his arms, gently picked the person up and put him in his arms.

Wen Yelan’s body instantly tensed up, but he did not break free.His back pressed against Pei Yan’s warm and solid chest, and the familiar body temperature and breath enveloped him, making his heart that had been hanging finally slowly settle down.He hesitated for a moment, then relaxed his body obediently and leaned into the embrace.

But his face was still very hot. He subconsciously wanted to lower his head, but his forehead accidentally touched Pei Yan’s chin, and his lips brushed against his neck.Wen Yelan quickly lowered his face as if he had been burned.

After hugging him quietly for a while, Wen Yelan suddenly remembered something and pulled away from Pei Yan’s arms a little, turned around and faced him, his expression became extremely serious, even a little serious.

Pei Yan didn’t know why and looked at him.

Wen Yelan took a deep breath, as if she had made a lot of determination, looked into Pei Yan’s eyes, and said very solemnly and word by word:

“Pei Yan, you are not big.”

Pei Yan: “…?”

When Wen Yelan saw that he didn’t respond, she thought he didn’t understand, so she added seriously and explained: “I, I don’t dislike you.” After saying that, as if she was afraid that he wouldn’t believe it, she nodded vigorously.