On How To Defeat Dr. Qing Leng Chapter 49

Chapter 49 Chapter 49 I can’t get used to being alone

During those few days in the dormitory of the institute, Wen Yelan hardly slept well.

The bed board was too hard, and the quilt had a faint smell of disinfectant. Outside the window was the ever-extinguishing blurred halo of the city and the faint sound of traffic.The most important thing is that there is no one around.There was no body heat that always tried to wrap him in its arms, no steady heartbeat behind his ears, and no brown stuffed bear that took up almost half of the bed for him to bury his face in.

He’s not used to it.

This realization made him a little annoyed and a little panicked.After just a short time, he was already so spoiled by Pei Yan that it was difficult for him to sleep alone.

On the day they set off for the grassland, the hospital arranged a bus to take them to the airport.Wen Yelan stood at the meeting point carrying simple luggage, the morning breeze was cool.Subconsciously, he searched for the familiar black Cullinan or that tall and flamboyant figure among the passing vehicles and figures.

no.

Until everyone got on the bus and sat down, the bus slowly drove out of the gate of the institute. He took one last look outside through the car window – still nothing.

The indescribable expectation in my heart deflated silently like a balloon punctured by a needle, leaving an empty and dull feeling.He leaned back in his chair, closed his eyes, and tried to suppress the inexplicable loss.

What he didn’t know was that just after the bus turned out of the intersection, in an inconspicuous black car on the corner of the street, Pei Yan put out his unknown cigarette.He was wearing a simple black hoodie with the hood pulled down low, covering most of his face, only revealing a pair of red eyes. He followed the bus silently and unblinkingly from a distance until it completely disappeared at the end of the traffic flow.

Then, he started the car, turned around and drove in the opposite direction.He promised not to send it, but he didn’t promise not to come and see it.He just… wanted to remember his appearance clearly, three months was too long.

Plane, transfer.Only when his feet truly set foot on the grassland of Inner Mongolia did Wen Yelan truly feel what vastness is.

The sky is high and far away, and the green grass spreads to the end of the sight, connecting with the blue sky.The air is filled with the smell of grass and earth, clean and crisp. The wind blows over without any obstruction, with the unique strength of the wilderness, as if it can blow away all the accumulated depression in the heart.

The project team is stationed in several relatively fixed yurts, and the conditions are better than expected, with basic power supply and water storage equipment.The senior brother who led the team was named Zhou. He was several years older than Wen Yelan. He was cheerful and took good care of him.

“Ye Lan, just follow me on this trip and familiarize yourself with the field process of grassland survey. Just help me when collecting samples. You don’t have to worry about data analysis and core reports. Just relax.” Senior Brother Zhou patted him on the shoulder. “You look like this. You stayed up late at night in Beijing, right? Take good care of yourself here.”

Wen Yelan nodded: “Thank you, senior brother.”

He knew this was his senior brother’s good intention.He did not participate in the early design and preparation of this project on grassland degradation and climate change. He stepped in temporarily and could only do auxiliary work.In a way, it does feel like a public trip.

When people are free, they tend to think blindly.

Especially when night falls and the grassland falls into deep silence, with only the sound of wind and the occasional low murmur of cattle and sheep in the distance, those thoughts that have been temporarily suppressed by the vast scene of the day begin to surge up uncontrollably.

He missed Pei Yan.

I miss the porridge he cooked, the way he rubbed his chin when he was sleepy, the tense side of his face when he was angry, and the clumsy way he looked when he was cautious and coaxing.

He took out his phone and the screen stayed on the chat interface with Pei Yan.Since the day he left, there has been almost no interruption in news about Pei Yan.

[Are you at the dormitory?】

[Is the food at the institute okay?】

[The temperature will drop tomorrow, so wear more clothes.】

[Remember to drink a cup of hot milk before going to bed.】

【……Good night.】

Each message is brief, without any fancy words, just the most common reminders and greetings.He replies more succinctly, usually with “um”, “here we go”, “ok”, “got it”.Pei Yan didn’t care and sent it as usual the next day.

He also thought about whether he was being too pretentious and making too much fuss.Pei Yan installed the monitor out of concern and protection, although the method was unacceptable.But what about yourself?Isn’t it a form of distrust that I went to see Bai Yu in secret, or even secretly asked someone to investigate?

If he had been honest with Pei Yan about everything from the beginning, including his complicated emotional dependence on Bai Yu and his determination to get answers, his fears and plans, wouldn’t there have been subsequent monitors and this quarrel?

But…he can’t do it.

Childhood trauma and long-term fear of emotions and dependence have made him accustomed to hiding things in his heart, digesting them, and solving them by himself.He is afraid of being vulnerable, afraid of becoming a burden, and even more afraid of being disappointed or getting deeper control after handing over the choice.This is true for Bai Yu, and for Pei Yan… deep down, isn’t he just as insecure?

“Alas…” Wen Yelan lay on the not-so-soft bed, stared at the round ceiling of the yurt, and sighed softly.Can’t think about it anymore.The more I think about it, the more confused I become.He came here to clear his mind, not to get himself into a deeper hole.

The next day, the weather was fine.Wen Yelan followed Senior Brother Zhou and the other two team members to do basic survey on the preset sample site.The work content is not complicated, mainly recording vegetation types and coverage, and measuring soil parameters.He didn’t talk much, but he was quick with his hands and feet, observed carefully, and got started quickly.

During the break, he stood on a small slope and looked at the endless sea of ​​green grass in front of him, undulating like waves in the sunshine. The sky was so blue that there was no trace of impurities, and a few white clouds floated lazily.An unprecedented sense of tranquility and openness enveloped him.He picked up his phone and took a few photos of the scenery.

After taking the photo, he opened WeChat as a habit, his fingertips hovering over the dialog box of “A Pei Yan” at the top, and he hesitated.

Send it to him?For what reason?Just sharing the scenery?Will it seem too deliberate, or… too strange?In their current relationship of “needing time to calm down”, is it appropriate to send a photo of a grassland that has nothing to do with work?

He stared at the dialog box. Pei Yan’s last message was sent at 6:30 this morning: [How is the weather in the grassland today?】

He hasn’t replied yet.

My finger hovered above the screen for a long time, and finally I pulled out.He clicked on the circle of friends, selected the photo he thought was the best, and added two simple words: [The weather is very good today.】

As soon as he logged out, two little red dots appeared on the page.

Pei Yan liked it.

Immediately afterwards, a comment popped up.

Pei Yan: [The sky is very blue.Remember to wear a hat and sunscreen.】

Wen Yelan looked at the comment and touched the “reply” with his fingertips, but finally hit nothing.

On the other side of the city, Pei Yan was holding his cell phone, enlarging the not particularly clear photo, and then enlarging it again, trying to restore from the limited pixels the scene Wen Yelan saw when he pressed the shutter, imagining him standing on that grassland, with the wind blowing the broken hair on his forehead.He even saved the photo and set it as the background of his circle of friends.

The documents spread out on the desk had not been turned over for a long time, and the computer screen was dark.When Lin Mo opened the door and came in, what he saw was Pei Yan looking at his phone in a daze, with the dazzling green grassland on the screen.

“Hey, Mr. Pei, where is this Wang Fu Stone?” Lin Mo leaned over and took a look, “Dr. Wen went to the grassland? The scenery is pretty good.”

Pei Yan quickly turned off the screen, put the phone on the table, and glanced at him expressionlessly: “Is something wrong?”

“Why don’t you come here to express your condolences to the lonely man?” Lin Mo pulled up a chair and sat down, looking at him, “I said, the dark circles under your eyes are almost falling to the ground. How many days have you not slept well? Dr. Wen has only been away for a few days, and you are already so virtuous?”

Pei Yan didn’t answer. He picked up the cigarette case on the table, took out a cigarette and put it in his mouth without lighting it.

“If you ask me, you deserve it.” Lin Mo said quickly, “Why did you go there earlier? Dr. Wen is such a good person, but you were so angry that you ran away to the prairie. Monitor? You can’t think of it!”

“Get lost.” Pei Yan squeezed out one word through his teeth, his eyes a little cold.

“I’m going away, I’m going away.” Lin Mo raised his hands in surrender, but did not move. He changed his tone and said, “Seriously, you just wait like this? Three months? Pei Yan, this is not like you.”

“Who does that look like?” Pei Yan finally lit up the cigarette and took a puff. The smoke blurred his expression. “Like before, chasing him regardless and kidnapping him back? Is it useful?”

Lin Mo was choked for a moment: “Then…then you have to do something, right? Just by posting likes on WeChat every day, Dr. Wen can come back on his own?”

Pei Yan was silent for a long time until the cigarette burned to the end.He put out the cigarette butt in the ashtray and said in a low voice: “He said he needs time. Then I will give him time.” He paused and looked at Lin Mo, “But I can’t do nothing. I asked someone to check the specific location of their project team in the grassland, the conditions of the station, the surrounding medical conditions, and… are there any potential safety risks?”

Lin Mo was stunned for a moment, then understood: “You want…”

“I don’t want to disturb him.” Pei Yan interrupted him, “But I need to know if he is really safe. Also, help me contact the people who have contacts in Inner Mongolia. Keep a low profile. If necessary… provide some convenience and don’t let him know.”

“Understood.” Lin Mo nodded, “I promise to do it properly and not let Dr. Wen notice.”

A few days later, Ling Yue also posted a group photo on WeChat Moments.It is a group photo of several young people from the project team next to a plot. Everyone is wearing field work clothes, with blushes and smiles on their faces after work, looking at the camera.Wen Yelan stood to the side. He did not gesture, but slightly curved the corners of his mouth. His eyes were looking at the camera, clear and peaceful, and he looked… very happy.

Pei Yan liked it almost instantly, and then stared at Wen Yelan’s faint smile in the photo for a long time.Just be happy.He should smile like this more often.But my chest was still so tight and painful, as if something was holding me, and I couldn’t breathe easily.He missed him so much.Wanted to touch him, wanted to hear his voice, wanted to make sure he was really still there.

This longing reaches its peak in the dead of night.After finishing the day’s work, Pei Yan leaned on the chair in the study. Outside the window was the bright but cold night view of the city.He picked up the phone and, with almost no hesitation, clicked on the video call request.

The beeps waiting for the call to be connected hit his eardrums one after another, and Pei Yan felt that his heartbeat was a little fast.He was prepared for rejection.

However, more than ten seconds later, the call was picked up.

The screen shook a few times before settling down.Wen Yelan’s face appeared on the screen.The background is the interior of a simple yurt, and the warm yellow light shines on his face.His hair was a little wet and stuck softly to his forehead. His face was also wet and glistening with water. There seemed to be tiny droplets of water hanging on his eyelashes, and his eyes were extremely dark and shiny due to the moisture.He seemed to have just washed his face.

“…Pei Yan?” Wen Yelan’s voice came through the receiver, with a bit of surprise, as well as the tiredness and softness of the night.

Pei Yan’s Adam’s apple rolled, and for a moment he forgot what to say.He just looked at the person on the screen greedily, at his slightly red cheeks, at his clear eyes, at his slightly opened lips in surprise.

“Yeah.” Pei Yan responded, his voice a little hoarse, “Just…washed your face?”

“Yes.” Wen Yelan nodded, casually wiping his face and hair with a dry towel, “It’s so late, what’s wrong?”

“Can’t I call you if I have nothing to do?” Pei Yan replied almost subconsciously. After saying it, he regretted it because his tone was too aggressive.

Wen Yelan was not angry, just looked at him quietly, the eyes on the other side of the screen were calm and focused.

Pei Yan softened his tone and asked, “Are you still used to it over there?”

“Get used to it.” Wen Yelan said, “The grassland is very quiet and the air is good.”

“Are you tired from work?”

“I’m not tired. Senior brother took good care of me and didn’t ask me to do any heavy work.”

“What about eating? Are you used to it?”

“Fortunately, there is mutton, dairy products, and a little less vegetables.”

The questions and answers were all the most ordinary conversations, but they made Pei Yan’s tense nerves relax a little.At least, he answered.At least he was willing to talk to him.

“I saw the photo Ling Yue posted.” Pei Yan said, “You look… quite happy.”

Wen Yelan was silent for a moment and said, “Yes. The environment here is simple and the people are easy to get along with.”

“Just be happy.” Pei Yan paused and lowered his voice, “You being happy… is more important than anything else.”

On the other side of the screen, Wen Yelan’s eyelashes trembled slightly and did not answer the question.He turned to ask: “What about you? Does the company have a lot of things?”

“Same as the same.” Pei Yan didn’t want to talk about work, his eyes were still fixed on Wen Yelan’s face, “It’s just… I’m not used to it.”

“What are you not used to?”

“I’m not used to being too quiet at home.” Pei Yan looked into his eyes, “I’m not used to being the only one on the bed.”

Wen Yelan’s cheeks seemed to be a little redder. He looked away, looked to the side, and whispered: “…I’ll get used to it gradually.”

“I might not be able to get used to it.” Pei Yan’s voice was deep, with a suppressed stubbornness, “Wen Yelan, I don’t want to get used to it.”

Wen Yelan pursed her lips and held the corner of the towel unconsciously with her fingers.

There was a brief silence between the two of them through the screen.Only the slight sound of electricity and each other’s breathing could be heard.

———————–

The author has something to say: I originally wrote the extra chapter, but today I found out that the bonus extra chapter had to be completed before I could post it [crying]. I didn’t want everyone to spend money to buy the extra chapter, so I hurriedly finished writing this chapter and posted it, so it’s late again, which is a shame.Then, together with Wen Yelan and Pei Yan, I wish everyone a Happy New Year in advance![come on]