Nanke Yifu Chapter 42

Living in the Wind and Staying in the Rain (14)

He didn’t receive a reply to the message he sent all day long. When Feng Su returned home and opened the door, he moved lightly. Sure enough, the room was dark, and Yan Laixi was just like when he went out, lying on the sofa and sleeping with his coat in his arms.

He turned on the light in the bathroom so that it would not shine on the sleeping people and also prevent him from walking in complete darkness.The kitchen utensils and ingredients seemed to have been untouched, and there were no takeout bags or anything like that. Yan Laixi probably slept all day and didn’t get up.

I haven’t slept all night, and my mood is up and down. It’s okay to sleep for a long time, but I have to eat.

Feng Su sent a message to Lin Yuyou, followed the instructions and made some porridge and side dishes with a flashlight, put them in a pot to warm, and went to call Yan Laixi.

Lin Yuyou said that her brother was very picky about food and would not say anything if he didn’t want to eat, telling him not to feed him blindly.

Just like before, the process of waking up Yan Laixi was not so smooth. He was drowsy for a while after waking up. It was clear that he was useless this time.

Feng Su wanted to take the coat he was holding, but as soon as he reached out, the man who had not fully recovered from consciousness tightened his arms.There seems to be something wrapped inside, and you can guess what that thing represents without even thinking.

He was a little unhappy. He could actually use the abnormality to make Yan Laixi more unconscious, and maybe he could take the thing and throw it aside… But forget it, just holding the thing for a while would be okay. Sooner or later, he would be willing to throw the thing away and take the big living person opposite him into his arms.

Yan Laixi was picked up by him, barely ate two mouthfuls of food that was not enough to feed a kitten, went to the bathroom, came back and lay down to sleep again.

Something felt wrong. Feng Su didn’t know what Yan Laixi said about his previous insomnia. It was a good thing to be able to fall asleep, but he had slept too much in the past two days.

Perhaps because he went to sleep with doubts, Feng Su woke up extra early. Unexpectedly, he came across the answer to the question.

He just woke up and stared, without looking where the other person in the house was, he opened the bathroom door directly. The two people who were temporarily unresponsive looked at each other for a second, but Yan Laixi made the move first. He quickly turned to face Feng Su and put his hands behind his back. The sound of “crack” woke Feng Su up like an alarm clock. Small white discs were scattered on the floor. Although he couldn’t see clearly what Yan Laixi was hiding, it was not difficult to guess.

“Give it to me.” Feng Su stretched out his hand towards Yan Laixi. The other person lowered his head, his eyes averted, and he still didn’t move his hands behind his back.

He didn’t deliberately step lightly when he came over, but Yan Laixi didn’t notice anyone approaching at all. He even froze with him after he opened the door. It was obvious that his physical and mental state had deteriorated to a certain extent.

“Give it to me.” Feng Su repeated. Seeing that the person was still motionless, he directly reached out and grabbed the arm behind his back.

After all, Yan Laixi was considered a patient and could not compete with him in terms of strength. He stretched out his arms when he was caught, so he obediently opened his hands.

Taking a deep breath and exhaling it heavily, Feng Su closed his eyes and counted five numbers silently to ensure that the anger could be locked in his body and not burn out. His voice was a little hoarse and he said, “Go to the hospital.”

“No…”

“Go to the hospital.” He interrupted the unspoken resistance and said irresistibly, “It’s impossible for you to be fine now. Even if you are really fine, no one will blame you. Now, go to the hospital.”

He tried to pull back the wrist he was holding, but Feng Su held it tighter. I wonder if someone was using too much force, and the other hand that was touching was also trembling.

“I, no…it’s okay, no need…”

Artificial light filled the space, and Yan Laixi was dragged out of the bathroom, expressing his resistance incoherently.

The tugging on my wrist hurt a little, and the anxiety brought back the emotions from the previous night, and at the next moment, warmth surged into my eyes.

Feng Su casually picked up a piece of clothing without even looking at it. When he turned around, he saw two red eyes, and he was so frightened that he immediately let go.

“Don’t cry. If you don’t want to go…you have to go if you don’t want to go, but it’s really okay.” There was such a fuss right after getting up. Even Feng Su couldn’t help but be in a hurry. He accidentally caught a glimpse of Yan Laixi and retracted his hands into his sleeves and hid behind his back. He remembered that he seemed to have acted lightly just now.

He suddenly stretched out his hand and rolled up Yan Laixi’s sleeves. Sure enough, a large red mark hit his eyes, and most of his toughness just now was wiped out. He asked with some confidence: “Did I hurt you?”

Although he felt that it was unlikely for an adult to have red eyes because of such pain, and although Yan Laixi did deny it, Feng Su still felt that he was in pain.After all, he felt that the other option seemed even more unreasonable. A sane adult almost cried because he didn’t want to go to the hospital.

Until he put the clothes back, he didn’t notice that it was the coat that Yan Laixi had slept with all day long.

The pills were scattered all over the floor, and the small bottle in his hand was almost empty. Feng Su asked Yan Laixi: “How much have you taken?”

“I haven’t eaten yet.” Yan Laixi clenched his sleeves and clasped his thumb on the second knuckle of his index finger.

With his head lowered and his shoulders hunched, he looked like a child who was caught making mistakes and waiting to be punished. He was worse than a child. Most children would not tremble when being punished.Feng Su pulled the person to the sofa and said, “Don’t be afraid, sit down and talk. Tell me the truth, when did you start eating? Did you really stop in the middle? How often did you eat, and how many tablets did you take at a time? Are you feeling uncomfortable somewhere now? Do you feel like there is something wrong with your body?”

“I won’t eat anymore, really.” Yan Laixi didn’t answer his question, but said to himself. His trembling hand slowly climbed up to Feng Su’s wrist. His fingers were very stiff. He felt that he was already exerting force, but in fact he didn’t hold it tightly. “I won’t hide it from you anymore, and I will go to the hospital, so, can you stop…”

Nothing else?Don’t be angry, don’t drive me away, don’t reject me… there are too many demands, you have to choose one.

“Can you please stop hating me?”

So it turns out that he was crying because he was worried about being disliked… So this kind of “aggrieved” type looks so cute from the opposite side.

“Yan Laixi, look at me.” Feng Su said. The moment the person being stared at raised his head, he suddenly understood what “deer-like eyes” meant.

The face suddenly came closer, the deer’s eyes that were half-closed were fully opened, his hands were placed on his chest, and he leaned back and stepped away.

There was shock and confusion, but there was no resistance, there was shock but not fear, and there was not much retreat.

So Feng Su stretched out his hand to hold the back of Yan Laixi’s head, leaned over and kissed him.

As soon as it touched, the dry and soft lips seemed unable to distinguish what pressed it, and the thing moved away.

“I don’t hate you.” Feng Su stroked his fingertips over the lips that had just been kissed. He looked at the still dazed eyes and said in a normal tone, even a little briskly, “I like you.”

Huh?

ah.

You must be dreaming.

It turned out to be a dream.

Because I would never have a relationship with Chi Fu again, but I couldn’t accept going back to being alone for a while, so I had this kind of dream.

Love is not a life-sustaining necessity that will kill you if you leave it. It is just to make yourself feel better in temporary escape, just…

What do you think Fengsu is…

Seeing the stunned person wilting visibly, Feng Su was puzzled and asked, “Don’t you like it?”

Yan Laixi shook his head.

Feng Su: “Too sudden?”

Still shaking his head.

Feng Su suddenly laughed and said jokingly: “You don’t think I’m old, do you? I’ll be thirty during the Chinese New Year. I’m indeed setting off towards middle age, but isn’t this just a start? There’s still a journey to go.”

The wilted head was no longer drooping, but was filled with doubts. The internal machine ran for a while, and he came up with: “I am only two years younger than you.”

“Pfft, haha.” Feng Su couldn’t hold back his laughter this time. He raised his hand and rubbed Yan Laixi’s head, “You’re so cute.”

This time, he didn’t deliberately relax his force. Yan Laixi was kneaded so hard that he staggered and became even more confused. How could he be so cute?

“You don’t have to go to the hospital if you don’t want to…you don’t have to go for the time being. I won’t hate you just because you secretly take medicine or are afraid of white coats like a child. So, in order, you have to give me an answer now.” Feng Su came closer again, this time he didn’t press anyone anymore, but followed him by himself. Yan Laixi retreated a little, and he moved in a little, until there was no way back, and Yan Laixi buried his head in his chest.

“Don’t be nervous.” Feng Su said while suppressing a smile, “Do you like me? Or…can I chase you?”

“You don’t have to tell me right away which question you want to answer. You can think about it slowly.” He propped up the back of the sofa, hugged the person in his arms, tilted his head close to Yan Laishi’s ear, and said in a bewitching way, “But you must at least give me an answer… If you don’t hide, I will treat your answer as yes.”

After the words fell, the fiery breath fell on the ear again, and only once, it was picked up by something soft.Feng Su smiled slyly. Anyway, he was given the chance to refuse and the time to react, but it was just a little short.

That’s right, not a touch, not a kiss, but…a gentle bite with your lips?

Yan Laixi didn’t want to say anything about hiding or answering. He was completely frozen in place, and his thinking was completely disrupted by the current situation.

In his previous dream, he had been a lover with Feng Su.

The relationship between lovers, the feelings of lovers, but… he has almost never done any lover’s behavior. All he remembers is holding hands, hugging, pressing foreheads, kissing on the cheek… There are kisses, but no kisses. There may be other things in the “past” in the dream, but they are not in the period he has experienced. There may be, but he does not remember that time in Fengsu…

With his fingers pinched on his side, Yan Laixi forced himself to withdraw and look at the world in front of him. He could no longer recall it. After waking up for a period of time, he would fall asleep until he was extremely sleepy and couldn’t bear it anymore. He couldn’t see any wounds, and he would tremble unconsciously even when he saw red objects.

But now Fengsu…does abnormality still have moral standards?If it does happen, it doesn’t seem too high. After all, if he finds it possible, it doesn’t exactly mean that Chi Fu is separated.

Chi Fu doesn’t know anything.Regardless of whether both parties agree to resolve a breakup issue amicably or not, you should always ask for the other person’s opinion.

Moreover, even if it was completely over, Yan Laixi always felt that it was not good for Chi Fu and Feng Su to officially start it so quickly – not even a test, but directly enter the next relationship.

If only it wasn’t a lucid dream, you wouldn’t have to carry this guilt… Look, even now, all you really care about is whether you will be haunted by guilt.

“What’s wrong?” Although we don’t spend much time together, and even though he now wants to cut open his head and take a look, Feng Su is really curious about what is inside Yan Laixi’s head. He will start to think more about it at every turn, and his head will droop after thinking about it. “Still worried about going to the hospital? Or are you worried about what will happen if you can’t sleep without taking medicine? This medicine cannot be stopped directly, it will make you adapt slowly, and there are also my abnormalities.”

That’s right, the person who was “robbed by force” thought that he was dreaming, and he had trapped himself in a trap of self-loathing. The person who was “robbed by force” saw that others were unhappy, but he didn’t think about whether they were unwilling to do so. He didn’t know whether it was Yan Laixi’s dependence on him that had always shown his little tail since they first met, which gave him confidence, or whether he simply didn’t like the ignorance and fearlessness of human beings who don’t know what the normal process should be.

“If you really don’t want to go, just tell me about your situation first, truthfully and without hiding it.” Feng Su turned over and sat next to him, completely letting Yan Laixi go freely. He was so resistant to “going to the hospital” that he could be considered heartbroken. Considering the reason why this person currently needs to go to the hospital, we can’t rule out the possibility that going will make the situation worse. We still need to understand it first before making a decision. “To be honest, I won’t force you to go to the hospital just because of what you said.”

Yan Laixi first told Feng Su when he started taking the medicine, when he tried not to take it but failed, and the approximate amount of medicine. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be specific, but mainly because he was confused himself. He could also estimate the time when he started taking the medicine. He really didn’t know how much he had taken on any given day.Then he told Feng Su some of the physical symptoms he had experienced before and after. Some of the symptoms he could detect were vomiting, dizziness, fatigue… He actually felt like vomiting even when he smelled oil fumes, and he made no secret of it.

After all, it’s in a dream. It doesn’t matter if you complain about everything, right?

“Others…” Yan Laixi thought for a while and said, “I always seem to have bruises on my body recently, and I don’t know how they got there. There is really nothing else.”

Feng Su nodded and said yes, indicating that he heard it. Yan Laixi didn’t know how, but he knew part of it. After all, in less than a week, he had seen this person stumbling here and there many times.

He silently made a note and planned to go to the hospital at noon. Yan Laixi didn’t want to go, but he could go and consult on his own. Since it was an abnormal phenomenon that only occurred recently, let’s go and ask together. Feng Su didn’t know this, and he didn’t know if it was really related, but there was no harm in asking more.

After confirming that as long as there was no oil fume, it wouldn’t matter if he cooked some porridge or soup. Fengsu cooked the porridge for breakfast. He only cooked the porridge and didn’t even dare to feed Yan Laixi anything that needed to be chewed.

This man had vomited countless times behind his back in the past two days. It was no wonder that his face was not getting better, and there was a faint tendency to continue to decline.Feng Su looked at the empty clothes hanging on Yan Laixi’s body and wanted to stuff him with food and meat every day. He was almost losing weight. He couldn’t eat more than a few mouthfuls of food in a day and always had to vomit it out. No matter how thin he was, there would really be only a handful of bones left.

He looked back and stared at the bowl in his hand.It’s not okay to try to stuff it up. Ask the doctor first to confirm what can be fed at this stage.You must also pay attention to the amount and time of feeding each time, how to reduce the dosage of medicine, whether your abnormality can be used, and other precautions. You must ask clearly.

It feels like raising a sick rare creature.

Fengsu has shown friendliness to small animals since he was a child, which is different from how he treats humans. It is not completely different, but the surface temperature difference is there, and the actual temperature difference is not small, but he has never kept a pet of his own.This is a favor, that is a convenience, and the support is endless, but the longest time is that I can’t see the other person for a month at a time.

It’s not that his family didn’t let him do it when he was a child, or that his financial conditions didn’t allow it when he grew up, or that he was worried like Yan Laixi. He was just simple and thought it was unnecessary and troublesome.

He can like and help, but he cannot allow a few more long-term fixed items in his life.He is not someone who feels lonely and needs companionship. There are all kinds of kittens, puppies, and small animals around him every day at work. There are many kinds of animals that he likes, and he does not necessarily have to have one by his side.

So Feng Su once thought that human beings are like this too. There are many kinds of likes. Even if it is love, not everyone needs the other person to be by their side.

Of course, now that he has regretted it, he still has to keep the things he likes with him.If he likes small animals, he doesn’t need to keep them, because he likes the whole group, not just one of them. But people are different. He doesn’t like humans, he only likes Yan Laixi.

“Would it be boring to be alone at home?” Feng Su finished washing the dishes, tidying up the kitchen, and while finding the clothes to wear when going out, he asked Yan Laixi, “You’re awake anyway, do you want to come with me?”

It is inevitable that there will be floating hair in places where there are many pets, not to mention that it is a pet beauty salon. When blowing, combing and cutting, sometimes the hair will float all over the sky. I don’t know if the Yan Laixi will be uncomfortable, but as long as it does not get into the mouth and nose with a mask, it should be okay.When you want to go to the hospital… you can call Lin Yuyou over. Anyway, she said that the Chinese New Year is coming soon and she doesn’t want to work these days. If she gives herself a holiday, she should be able to be on call. It’s about her brother again, so she is very active.

“Okay.” Yan Laixi nodded without much hesitation, took his clothes and went to the bathroom to change. He really had nothing to do, so it didn’t matter if he was clingy to others in his sleep.

And he also wanted this dream to last longer and the final farewell to come later.He could not control the length of the dream, but within a fixed period of time, he could still choose whether to stay alone in an empty house doing nothing, or whether to fall behind someone like a follower. He could also choose whether to give the dream a sudden collapse at a certain moment and stuff information into his brain, leaving him powerless, or at least watch the person in the dream with his own eyes until the last moment before the collapse.Although the latter is equally powerless.

They talked about morality and good and bad, said they were afraid of separation, and hated lucid dreams, but in the end they chose to enjoy this momentary fantasy even though they knew the outcome.

Yan Laixixu clenched his fists and tapped his forehead with the heel of his palm. Feng Su was already dressed and waiting at the door. He sped up his movements and followed him out.