Nanke Yifu Chapter 35

Living in the Wind and Staying in the Rain (7)

“Why did you abandon me?” It was Chi Fu’s voice. The young man’s face was always covered with a layer of sunshine and was shrouded in sadness. Even when he asked, he was still trying to excuse him, “Is it because I didn’t do enough that you abandoned me? Come back, okay? I will think of a way.”

No.

Yan Laixi wanted to retort, but found that he couldn’t make a sound.

“Who am I to you?” Feng Su’s voice came from behind. The real or fake smile that always hung on his face disappeared and was replaced by hatred and disgust. “Whose substitute? A tool to escape reality? Anyway, to you, I am just a person in your dream and does not exist. It doesn’t matter at all, right?”

No.

He ran over and tried to catch him, but he missed him and fell to the ground.

“Don’t always pretend to be sick.” The woman’s stature was unusually tall, as if she were looking down at a child of several years old. Her impatience was palpable, “Be obedient, and your mother will go to accompany you when she is done with her work. You cannot attract the attention of adults in this way.”

No, I haven’t.

He hugged himself tightly and stepped back unconsciously, hitting something on his back.

Yan Laixi was so frightened that he stayed where he was, trembling and daring not to move, but this time no sound came from him.Until he leaned back very slowly and at a speed that was almost invisible.

Hit nothing.

The left hand reaches up, from holding the arm to grasping the shoulder, and the right hand is free to reach back.

Trembling and hesitant, as if there were a group of jackals and tigers behind him, waiting to bite him as soon as he stretched out his hand.

But still nothing was touched.

Silence and emptiness bring not peace of mind, but more boundless panic.There is no reason and cannot be eliminated.

Is anyone here?

Yan Laixi wanted to ask, but his voice could not be heard.

Not just the sound, he seemed like a person who suddenly lost all five senses. He was surrounded by endless darkness, and his ears were strangely quiet. The sky above his head could no longer be seen, and the ground under his feet had disappeared.He seemed to be thrown into a void, where there was nothing, no friends, no relatives, no lovers, no language, no pictures, no world.Perhaps, even the so-called him is just a part of nothingness.

A little difference finally emerged in the endless void.In the distance, far, far away, so far away that it seemed impossible to reach it in a lifetime, there was a shadowy figure. He could not tell the height, height, fatness or face, but Yan Laixi knew that it was his mother, the person who brought him into this world.

A distant sound came from outside the world, ethereal and misty, a sound that did not exist in reality.It is truly captured and heard, but cannot be distinguished or remembered.I can’t tell the loudness, the pitch, or the timbre, but every word is extremely clear, as if the voice is just a transporter, and the content it wants to convey will be sent directly to the brain.

The voice is saying, the person is saying, “It would have been better if you had not been born.”

His body was suddenly enveloped by a wave of coldness that radiated from the inside out. The figures and sounds disappeared, and the surrounding area returned to darkness, but it was not silent. Yan Laixi heard the sound of air being inhaled into his mouth and then exhaled. The frequency was so fast that it almost caught up with the rhythm of falling raindrops. His lips were numb, and his head was dizzy. Different from dizziness, perhaps it could be described as numbness to better express that feeling.His hands were trembling and stiff like chicken feet, and his legs seemed a little stiff, unable to exert any strength.

Yan Laixi should have known that at this time, he had to slow down his breathing, cover his mouth, and hold his breath. It was better than nothing. At least he could control the situation from getting worse faster, but now he could only think of those few words.

A pair of warm palms covered his mouth and nose, which was the first warm thing Yan Laixi encountered in this darkness.

He grabbed it regardless, unable to bend his fingers, so he hugged it with both hands and pressed it into his arms desperately, fearing that the warmth would dissipate, even if it was depriving him of his breath.

“Take your time, can you hear me? Yan Laixi?”

It was Feng Su’s voice, a voice that had just appeared, but it was completely different from just now.A gentle, caring voice that would never abandon him.

The warmth of the sound penetrated the skin and dissipated the coldness, but Yan Laixi still felt cold.

Feng Su was awakened by Xiao Xi’s noise, but it was not the noise a puppy would make when it gets its favorite dried meat.

He scratched the door with his paws and stepped back and forth anxiously. He made a growling sound in his throat, clearly feeling uneasy.

He walked out of the bedroom, and the floor-to-ceiling curtains were scratched open by the puppy. A very weak moonlight spilled in, which was not enough to illuminate the space.Feng Su could barely distinguish Yan Laixi’s figure from the darkness. He was curled up in the corner of the sofa. The quilt was spread aside. Only one corner was still hanging on him. Before Feng Su came closer, the covered body couldn’t help but trembled and fell off.

He was shaking and gasping uncontrollably, just like when he first met.Feng Su is not a doctor, not even a veterinarian. He doesn’t know the specific condition of Yan Laixi now, but he knows that there is something called respiratory poisoning.

He covered Yan Laixi’s mouth and nose with his hands and shouted Yan Laixi’s name in a clear, fast and non-eager voice. However, he got no response and the situation did not get better. Moreover, Feng Su found that Yan Laixi’s fingers seemed to be unable to move. He was afraid that something would go wrong if he dragged on any longer, so he had to use something unusual.

His breathing slowed down and he was still trembling. Feng Su reached out and touched the small lamp near the sofa. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that the person subconsciously squinted his eyes under the stimulation of the light.He leaned next to Yan Laixi, gently rubbed his spasmodic fingers, and touched his damp forehead due to cold sweat. I don’t know whether it was due to Feng Su’s abnormality or Yan Laixi’s own emotional state. His eyes were distracted, and he looked confused and a little lost.

“You have a fever.” Feng Su said. He was afraid of scaring others, so he kept his voice very soft. He was also afraid that it was too soft and Yan Laixi couldn’t hear it, so he leaned very close.

The weak, warm air brushed past his ears, and Yan Laixi heard what Feng Su was asking him.

“How do you feel? The fever isn’t too bad. If you don’t feel very uncomfortable, I won’t take medicine. I’m afraid you might throw up after eating.”

He was not quite sober now, and his understanding of language was intermittent. He only understood a “how”, like a puppet controlled by a novice. He shook his head unskillfully, opened and closed his lips, and found his voice with difficulty after several attempts.

“No…”

“Nothing? Are you feeling uncomfortable?” Feng Su asked when he saw that he was struggling to speak.

This time it was a nod.

“What’s wrong with you? You were breathing too fast just now. It’s normal to feel uncomfortable. It’s not necessarily because of a fever. Please take it easy for a while.” Yan Laixi seemed to be unable to understand the slightly more complicated words. He looked at Feng Su’s face with empty eyes. There was still no expression on his face, and there was no other response. Feng Su thought about waiting for him to recover from the abnormal effect before asking. Then he saw that the man was breaking out in a cold sweat and said, “I’ll get you a glass of water.”

He stood up, but before his legs could be straightened, the hem of his clothes was pulled from the side and behind.Looking back, three of the five fingers that were originally hooked on the fabric were immediately removed, leaving only two hanging on it. They were tightly twisted, but only hooked a little, which was enough for him to get rid of it with a little effort.

Yan Laixi seems to have always been like this, unabashedly trying to stay, but always leaving enough room for the other person to avoid him.Feng Su couldn’t stand this cautious look.

Kong Mangmang’s face was stained with emotions, with only a faint layer of anxiety and fear.

He held the wrist of Yan Laixi’s hand that hooked the corner of his clothes. As soon as he touched it, his fingers relaxed.

However, the wrist was still held in the palm of the hand and was not thrown down, but was pressed against the hem of the clothes he had just grabbed.

Feng Su stuffed the soft fabric of his pajamas into Yan Laixi’s hand, held his hand and closed his fingers, firmly holding the piece of fabric in his hand.

“If you don’t want something to leave, you have to hold it like this.” He said to Yan Laixi, then took the other person’s hand off his clothes, put it on his other wrist, and held it firmly, “Or like this. It’s better for people. You can take off your clothes and cut them, but you can’t cut them with your hands.”

The pajamas were wrinkled and gradually smoothed out under the influence of gravity. Some of the wrinkled parts of Yan Laixi’s body seemed to have been smoothed out along with the fabric.

His wrist was released and he fell back to his knees on the sofa. Yan Laixi heard Feng Su ask him: “What about now? Do you want me to go, or do you not want me to go?”

This time he understood, and he still shook his head with a gesture that seemed unfamiliar to his own body.Feng Su didn’t speak anymore, nor did he make any moves. He just stood there and looked at him condescendingly. At that moment, the air seemed to freeze.

“I taught you what to do.”

The next second, with the unfinished words, Feng Su strode back.

Yan Laixi’s brain hadn’t fully recovered yet. He didn’t know where he was now, couldn’t remember what happened during the day, and couldn’t understand that Feng Su just wanted to get him a glass of water and would be back soon.Even if his figure is only a centimeter away from him, Yan Laixi will still think of the endless nothingness just now, the feeling of being abandoned by everything, just thinking about it will pull people back to the purgatory of panic.There is only Fengsu left, and there can be no more Fengsu.

He rushed forward regardless, wanting to do what he did just now, grabbing the hem of his clothes, pulling on his arm, and forcefully keeping the person behind.

Unexpectedly, the person he wanted to stay came closer to him and took him into his arms.

Yan Laixi didn’t know that if Feng Su hadn’t taken that step forward and caught him rushing towards him, he would have definitely fallen off the sofa.

Even though he was being held, Yan Laixi still refused to let go of his hand. Just now, he only dared to hook a little of the corner of his clothes. The baby bird’s nails were now like eagle claws filled with iron, and Feng Su’s arms were aching from the grip.He held Yan Laixi and sat back down, not knowing where to put his hands.

It’s too close. Yan Laixi is not awake now, but he, Feng Su, is sober.

I don’t know how long it took, but the silent embarrassment of one person turned into the silent embarrassment of two people, with only a puppy who knew nothing, smelling this on the left and looking at that on the right.

After regaining his sense, the first thing Yan Laixi thought of was not to let go of Feng Su, but to turn off the lights and find a crack in the ground to crawl in.

If someone is embarrassed, then Feng Su is no longer embarrassed, and even has some fun.

“It’s okay. I haven’t recovered from the nightmare. It’s normal to be fragile.” He said nothing about his abnormal effects and his “inducing” behavior.

“I, um…” Yan Laixi sat far away from Feng Su, as if he was hiding from some savage beast. He was about to fall off the other end of the sofa. His voice was stuck for a long time, and then he said, “You can just ignore me next time…”

His gaze happened to fall on the gap between the two floor-to-ceiling curtains. He was suddenly startled, and seemed to have noticed the dimness of the light. He said with an apologetic look on his face: “Did I wake you up? I’m sorry.”

“You sit down inside first, don’t fall down.” Someone didn’t care about the atmosphere at all, and even deliberately mentioned something that was obviously embarrassing for him, “Which of us is hugging the other and not letting go? Why are you hiding so far away?”

He said, moved his butt in the middle, and reached out to try to pull Yan Laixi in.

“I don’t care about you, what happens next?” Feng Su said, “When you look at the stiff body in the morning, will you think about how to deal with the body?”

“No.” Yan Laixi said, “I can recover on my own.”

Although he knew what he was doing a few times before, although it might not work, and he didn’t know if it was the right thing to do, at least he could cover his mouth, hold his breath, and endure it for a while, and he would slowly get better.

“Has this happened before?” Feng Su caught the hidden information in his words and asked. Before Yan Laixi could answer, he continued, “If it hadn’t been so serious before, and if you weren’t so lucky, do you know what you looked like just now?”

Yan Laixi pursed his lips and said nothing, thinking: I am indeed very lucky.

Maybe it’s the so-called scourge that will last for thousands of years.

Feng Su looked at his chapped lips, stood up and poured a glass of warm water. His conscience came to the forefront from time to time, and he changed the topic and asked, “Do you feel very uncomfortable?”

Yan Laixi took the water glass and shook his head, but it was easy to see some confusion on his face.

I didn’t hear a word of what I just said.

Feng Su repeated: “You have a fever again. If you don’t feel uncomfortable, don’t take medicine. I’m afraid you’ll feel like vomiting again after taking it.”

“Yeah.” Yan Laixi responded, holding the cup to his mouth, only sipping a little bit which was not enough to wet his lips.

Feng Su’s worry is very correct. Let alone taking medicine, he doesn’t even want to drink saliva now.The stomach is still calm for the time being, but as long as something is put into it, it will definitely start to get upset again.

“Go to bed.” Yan Laixi looked at the sky outside through the narrow gap between the curtains and said, “I’m fine. I’m sorry to disturb you.”

“There’s no need to keep apologizing. If I really thought you were troublesome, I wouldn’t have brought you back.” Feng Su said.In fact, it would be more accurate to say “I have brought you back, there is no point in troubling you anymore”, but for things like this, you always have to make some harmless adjustments based on the person you are listening to.

“What about you? Can you sleep a little longer?” Feng Su asked, “I will make the abnormal effect stronger this time.”

“No.” Yan Laixi explained, “I slept too much during the day and am not very sleepy now. It should be just an ordinary dream, not abnormal.”

Although he is actually not very good at distinguishing between normal dreams and abnormal dreams.

“Then let’s make the effect stronger. My anomaly should also prevent nightmares from recurring. Although relying on anomalies is not a good habit, it is better than relying on drugs. Let’s wait until you are in a better condition.” Feng Su looked at the time and planned to go back to sleep again. “Don’t be embarrassed if you call me if you have something, and come home with me. Well, just put it down if you can’t drink it.”

Yan Laixi followed the direction of his finger and his eyes fell on the water glass he had been holding.

Feng Su did not turn off the lights when he went back. Xiao Xi was also disturbed by this incident and circled around the sofa, her puppy paws tapping on the ground.Darkness and silence did not wrap around him again.

Yan Laixi remembered the dried meat that Feng Su had told him before going to bed. He put down the cup and stretched out his hand to open the gap. The moonlight and lights merged for a breath. Yan Laixi found the only bag of red-packaged puppy snacks on the shelf and returned to the artificial light.

The puppy seemed to know what was inside. As soon as the bag was opened, it jumped up and down with excitement, wagging its buttocks together with its tail, opening its mouth slightly, sticking out its tongue. Sometimes it raised its front paws and jumped, sometimes it tilted its buttocks and quickly lay down, and sometimes it spun in place like a small top, and from time to time it made two short calls.Yan Laixi handed over the dried meat, and it sniffed it, then started running back and forth across the room. Seeing its excited expression, Yan Laixi couldn’t help but laugh, and soon realized something.

Feng Su was worried that he would wake up and be too embarrassed to wake him up, so he must have deliberately asked him to surprise him with puppy snacks.

Separated by a wall, Feng Su lay on his side on the bed with his eyes closed, thinking: What a waste of a solution.

After sealing the bag and putting it back, Yan Laixi patted the sofa next to him and motioned for the puppy to come up.

The little white dog jumped on the sofa, crawled into his arms very politely, lay down, and stopped moving.

Warm light covered his body, and he held a warm life in his arms. Even so, he could not dispel the chill caused by the nightmare.Yan Laixi was still afraid. He actually wanted Feng Su to stay with him for a while, or ask Feng Su to use his abnormality to let him sleep again, but he was afraid that he would be woken up again when he fell asleep, and he was even more afraid that he would become overly dependent on Feng Su and his abnormality. He could not stay here forever.

He leaned down, buried the tip of his nose in the puppy’s fluffy hair, and murmured to himself: “What is the relationship between your mother and Feng Su?”

The Fengsu in front of him knew nothing about him. Apart from his name, he knew nothing about the Fengsu in front of him.

“I must have caused him a lot of trouble… I still need to buy some medicine to prepare.”

Yan Laixi bent her legs, wanting to curl up, but was afraid of squeezing into the puppy in her arms.After a long moment of silence, the puppy’s nails accidentally caught the fabric of the clothes, and words as light as mist leaked out.

“I’m always a problem wherever I go.”