Nanke Yifu Chapter 26

Wild geese come and go (7)

Chi Fu felt that the most important problem he needed to solve now might be to change his job – a job that would allow him to wander around the streets all day long without starving himself to death one day in the future.

He waited for two days at the place where he met Yan Laixi before, but saw no one. He felt that there was no other way, so he started walking around in a circle nearby.If possible, Chi Fu hopes that he can transform into a thousands-meter-long worm with eyes all over its body, the kind that can become invisible.In this way, there is no need to worry that Yan Laixi will appear in the place where he just walked the next moment.As for being invisible, he thought it was quite disgusting when he thought about it. If he didn’t become invisible, let alone find someone, it would probably cause panic.

Looking for a person aimlessly on the street is no different from looking for a grain of yellow rice in a pot of millet. Yan Laixi doesn’t like to go out, which means that he may have been squatting next to the pot for three or five days looking for the grain of yellow rice, but he didn’t put it in at all.

Chi Fu really had no choice. He found a dead horse and treated it like a pile of bones, and tentatively asked Qiu Ye if he knew Yan Laixi’s whereabouts and could he reveal a little bit about it. The result was no surprise. Let alone his whereabouts, Qiu Ye didn’t even know whether Yan Laixi was still in the nest area.Moreover, Chi Fu knew very well that even if he knew, the other party would definitely not tell him.

The two previous encounters were not far from each other. Chi Fu circled the area for two days, and a thought suddenly came to his mind—could he be going to the pharmacy.

Qiuye said that there was no big problem with Yan Laixi’s health, but it was mentioned in the diary more than once that he looked bad and looked uncomfortable. There was a pharmacy not far away from where he met Yan Laixi the first two times.

Although the reason for reaching this conclusion is a bit far-fetched, and the pharmacy is not a difficult place to find, it is better to have a direction than none, even if it is the wrong direction.

Chi Fu first went to all the pharmacies within three to five kilometers of the place he met last time. He thought about asking the clerk to help keep an eye on them, but he didn’t dare to ask rashly for fear of being regarded as a suspicious person.The only things he had on him that could prove his relationship with Yan Laixi were a few photos. With just a few photos, he had to ask strangers to help him “catch” him. I’m afraid no one would believe him.

Chi Fu pretended that his cell phone was out of battery and could not contact the other party. He said that they had discussed meeting under the eaves in front of the store before and asked the clerk if he had seen a good-looking young man who was about the same height as himself and looked a bit thin.

Thanks to Yan Laixi for her amazingly beautiful face, and thanks to the clerk at one of the pharmacies who is a lively little girl who talks a lot, and is also a face-controller like Chi Fu. When Chi Fu said “a good-looking young man”, she immediately thought of the person who she couldn’t take her eyes away from just a few days ago.

The girl asked him: “Is he a person with short hair and slightly long bangs, and looks sickly?”

“Yes!” After finally getting a clue, Chi Fuyi was so anxious that he forgot that he still had photos on his phone. Although he couldn’t be sure, his intuition told him that the person the other party was talking about was Yan Laixi. Even if it wasn’t, he would not let go of any possibility.

“Did you see him?” He suppressed the tension and excitement in his heart and tried to act as normal as possible, asking, “Which way did he go just now?”

“Ah…” the girl touched her nose and spoke apologetically, “I didn’t just meet him, but two days ago, a man came to buy medicine. In fact, I’m not sure if he is the person you mentioned. I can’t take my eyes away when I meet a good-looking person. I stared at him for a long time that day, and I subconsciously answered the call when you mentioned good-looking people. Sorry, I may have misled you.”

Chi Fu thanked her and then remembered about the photo. After confirming it again, he said a few words overtly and covertly. He felt that the probability of meeting Yan Laixi by squatting nearby was at least higher than the probability of meeting Yan Laixi by wandering around blindly.

On the first day, Chi Fu prayed not to be regarded as a frustrated young man.

The next day, Chi Fu prayed not to be regarded as a lunatic.

On the third day, Chi Fu prayed not to be regarded as a pervert.

On the fourth day, Chi Fu prayed not to be thought to have evil intentions.

On the fifth day, just when Chi Fu was praying that no one would notice him for five consecutive days and be afraid of calling the police, the figure who was thinking about him appeared.

Lost a lot of weight.

Chi Fu couldn’t see his face clearly, but even from a distance, he could see that the person in the photo had a slender figure to begin with, and the person in front of him was even thinner than in the photo, and he was completely sick.It seemed as if a gust of wind could carry him away. When he stepped up the steps, he stumbled and almost fell.

Chi Fuduo wanted to rush over and ask him what was going on with his health, whether he went to the hospital, whether he had a good rest and a good meal.The answer to the latter two is obviously no. As for the first two, I probably have never been to the hospital. What’s going on…

Chi Fu looked at his feet that seemed to be nailed to the spot.

Isn’t that the reason?

Do you really want to go there?

Do you really want to continue disturbing him?

Chi Fu asked himself.

A voice in his heart told him that Yan Laixi had left him, but he was still like this. Leaving was obviously not the solution.

Another voice told him that leaving requires a process. Maybe Yan Laixi is almost at the last step. If you go there now, it will only make all his previous efforts in vain.

The steps were still taken.

Chi Fu stood under a tree in the opposite direction to the way Yan Laixi came. He still had selfish motives after all.If Yan Laixian came over and was willing to see him and have a word with him, that would be the best.If Yan Laixi didn’t see him, it was destined that now was not the time.If Yan Laixi saw him but was as unwilling to see him as the previous times, then he should add a sentence in the most conspicuous place in his diary.

The moment their eyes met, Chi Fu felt that he would never be more nervous or scared than now in his life.And at such a “critical moment”, he caught a glimpse of Yan Laixi hiding the medicine he was carrying behind his back.

What kind of medicine is in that?Is he sick?Is it serious?Is he feeling very unwell now?

Chi Fu had a lot of questions to ask, and it was not in his hands to decide whether to ask them or not.

When Yan Laixi looked away, Chi Fu’s heart felt cold.It was a good idea. If the other party was still unwilling to see him this time, he would write it down in a small notebook and warn himself not to pester the other party again.But when he saw Yan Laixi look away, he wanted to run to him again.

His fingers clenched tightly on the bark of the tree. It hurt a little, just enough to bring him back to his senses.

Just long enough to wait until Yan Laixi’s eyes returned to him.

Chi Fu felt that after falling from a height of 10,000 meters, he was just a few hundred meters away from kissing the earth. He found that he suddenly had a pair of wings and could fly. This was probably the feeling he had now.

Yan Laixi stood leaning against the corner, watching Chi Fu running toward him in a panic, and self-blame suddenly welled up in his heart.You should at least tell him, even if you leave a note, even if you say goodbye, he won’t remember it.

Chi Fu stood three steps away from him. To be precise, he stopped and found that the distance between the two was too close, so he took another step back.

He raised his hand, put it down again, opened his mouth, and closed it again. His once so bright lover was now facing him helplessly. Yan Laixi’s heart seemed to be strangled by thorny vines, and the pain made him unable to breathe.

“I’m sorry.” Yan Laixi said, he should apologize first, for leaving without saying goodbye, and for being rude when they met two times before, but the rest of his words were blocked by Chi Fu’s out-of-state expression.

The hands hidden behind his back trembled, and his breathing and heartbeat also joined in the fun. It seemed that he was not asking questions, but going to the execution ground.

“You know who I am, right?”

“Of course!” Chi Fu nodded heavily, as if he was afraid that he wouldn’t believe it, he started an incoherent “introduction” on his own.

“Your name is Yan Laixi, your pen name is Nanke, and you are my lover. We met at your autograph signing, and we also officially met each other after a autograph signing. You and Qiuye are friends, and often mention me to him. I took you to meet my family, and you will also take me to meet your family. Your abnormality is a dream. In the dream, there is a person named Feng Su…”

Yan Laixi went from relieved to surprised to stunned.

He knew that Chi Fu’s little notebook contained a lot of things about him, but there shouldn’t be so many.Even if Chi Fu wrote down everything Yan Laixi said after he lost his memory and read it again every day, there shouldn’t be so many things – there were some things that he never mentioned to Chi Fu after he lost his memory.

“You went and asked…”

Who asked?Qiuye, but Chi Fu and Qiuye didn’t know each other at all. Before Chi Fu lost his memory, they only knew about each other that there was such a person beside Yan Laixi.

Who else could it be, his parents?He had only met Chi Huan and Bai Xiafang a few times, and they may not know as much as Chi Fu’s little notebook.

Chi Fu, who knew a lot, couldn’t be found, and what he could find wouldn’t know that much.Things big and small are still popping up from Chi Fu’s mouth one by one. Although the preface does not match the follower, and although each thing is mentioned in just a few words, each one of them is something that really happened in Yan Laixi’s memory.

Yan Laixi gradually became convinced that these things were definitely not asked by Chi Fu, at least not by him to a certain person, not even Qiuye. He had never told anyone else about helping the old lady down the stairs.

If Chi Fu hadn’t specially inserted a sentence in the middle of the sentence to explain that he had not recovered his memory, fearing that he would misunderstand, Yan Laixi might have cried with joy at this moment.

Fortunately, he explained that the heart will easily fail if it rides too many roller coasters.

Thinking about it, even if his memory is restored, Chi Fu shouldn’t know about some trivial things, at least not all of them.

“I asked.” Chi Fu nodded, “I asked a lot of people, everyone I could find who was related to you…except for my parents and your family. I don’t know what your relationship is like, but as long as we have met, my mother will definitely like you very much. She is a carefree person, and she is afraid that I will disturb you.”

“Your family… I think you might not want them to know, for fear of worrying them, so I didn’t ask.” Chi Fu twirled the hem of his clothes with his fingers, and the word “uneasy” was written all over his body.

“Have you asked Qiu Ye?” Yan Laixi asked.

Except for Chi Fu himself who has lost his memory, and except for Feng Su who only exists in his dream world, Qiu Ye is undoubtedly the person who knows him best. Chi Fu wants to know about him and them, but he can’t get rid of Qiu Ye.

The reply was yes, but how on earth did he find a friend of Yan Laixi whom he didn’t know before without remembering anyone or anything about Yan Laixi?

Yan Laixi still wanted to ask, but Chi Fu didn’t give him the chance.

“So, what I said last time, what I said last time.” He spoke very quickly, but his words were clear. He felt that he had spoken too fast, so he had to repeat it again, as if he was afraid that Yan Laixi could not hear clearly, “If I could know something about our past like I do now… Although I can only know some things, and the specific situation is not very clear, but! But… just… are you willing to come with me…”

“Let’s go home.” Yan Laixi said.

He thought he was just apologizing to the other party today, asking what the other party wanted and how to let each other go, thinking that he would not be more sad because of Chi Fu.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have left without saying goodbye, let alone left those things on purpose to let you know my existence without leaving a way for you to find me, and I shouldn’t have run away without saying anything when I met you before. I won’t do this again, don’t be so nervous, don’t be so careful.”

If you do this, it will make me feel even more uncomfortable.

Chi Fu shook his head like a rattle, grabbed Yan Laixi’s hand, and moved closer regardless of the distance, his expression seemed more panicked than before.

“Why would you stay with me if I couldn’t even find you, couldn’t even find a way to keep you?”

Because I love you.

Yan Laixi said in his heart.

He only dared to say it in his heart, he did not dare or could not say it out loud.

Because I love you, because you are my lover, and because you still love me, I should not run away from this relationship without authorization.

You would aimlessly try your luck on the cold streets all day long in order to find me. In order to keep me, you would search around and ask people who were just a few words of fate or complete strangers, but I quietly left while you were sleeping.

Now, what qualifications do I have to say that I love you? What qualifications do I have to say that because I love you, I will stay by your side.

“Now that you’ve found it… take me home.”

In an instant, the familiar smile, the bright eyes, the relaxed fingers and shoulders, this time Chi Fu’s words were even more stumbling and incoherent. Just by listening to the words, Yan Laixi could hardly understand what he wanted to express. Fortunately, Chi Fu was a person who was very good at expressing emotions through body language.

He was so happy that he couldn’t find the north. In the end, Yan Laixi pushed him to face the direction of home, but before that, he had to turn around. Yan Laixi had to go to his temporary residence to get something.

How long can it last this time?What will happen this time?Yan Laixi didn’t know, but it wasn’t long before Chi Fu’s birthday anyway.

Chi Fu, full of excitement, ran over recklessly.He actually wanted to rush up to Yan Laixi and give Yan Laixi a solid hug, but he was afraid that he would not let go if he hugged her. He also thought that his current image in the other person’s mind might be no different from that of a “heartbroken man”, so it was better to focus on restoring his image first, and tried to restrain himself.

Yan Laixi looked at him with indescribably complicated eyes. Chi Fu wanted to hold his hand, but the other person had his hands behind his back and wanted to quickly explain his purpose. He was so nervous that he forgot his words.

“I’m sorry.”

Three words came out of Yan Laixi’s mouth lightly and fell on Chi Fu’s forehead, leaving him stunned.

Isn’t it Chi Fu who should apologize?Why did Yan Laixi apologize to him?

“You know who I am, right?”

The voice of the question was trembling, and Chi Fu noticed Yan Laixi’s mood. No matter what words he had planned in advance, he didn’t say anything, no matter who apologized, or what he thought of.

Yan Laixileng was across from him and listened to him for a long time. He said a lot but had no reaction. The heart in Chi Fu’s chest lifted higher and higher.

Could he have overlooked something very important, could he have made a mistake, could what he had written down not be enough…

Could it be that his explanation of not recovering his memory hurt Yan Laixi again?

But if you don’t explain it, it will be even more uncomfortable if you suddenly get a huge surprise and think that a miracle has come, only to find out that it is just a magic trick and it is fake.

“You went and asked…”

Chi Fu nodded and said that he had asked many people, and also explained why he did not ask their families.He wanted to ask Yan Laixi if he could give him an answer to the last question, whether it was affirmative or negative.

“Did you ask Qiuye?”

“Well, he told me many things.” Chi Fu decisively betrayed his “accomplice”. Yan Laixi had guessed it anyway, and when Qiuye told him these things, he probably didn’t want to hide Yan Laixi’s involvement.

“So, what I said last time, what I said last time. If I can know something about our past like I do now… Although I can only know some things, and the specific situation is not very clear, but! But…” He slowed down and his tone gradually weakened, “Just… are you willing to come with me…”

Chi Fu wanted to say, “Would you like to go home with me?”, but after thinking about it, he felt that it was not appropriate. It was Yan Laixi’s home originally, and he had squeezed her out. It seemed that he was inviting her to go back to his home with him.Moreover, it seems that if Yan Laixi wants to go home, there must be a prerequisite for being with him.

He wanted to say again, “Do you want to leave me or not?” This time it became difficult for others to force him. Although he had no memory, Chi Fu knew that Yan Laixi would not take the initiative to leave him until the situation was truly unacceptable.Even if the situation was unacceptable, Yan Laixi would give him a chance. He didn’t know how many times he missed it before forcing Yan Laixi to leave quietly like that.Under such a premise, “Don’t leave me” will only be a restraint.

He also wanted to say, “It doesn’t matter if we are just friends, if we meet occasionally, or if we just keep in touch.” But ask yourself, none of them are good.He himself didn’t want to do this. For Yan Laixi, this was like opening the wound every once in a while and spreading a layer of salt on it.

“Let’s go home.”

When he heard these four words, Chi Fu felt that the whole world had become quiet.

Yan Laixi said that he was going home, that “we” were going home.

The world did not quiet down. Chi Fu could still hear Yan Laixi’s voice, but the content of the voice sounded a bit like an auditory hallucination.

“I’m sorry.”

“You shouldn’t leave without saying goodbye.”

“You shouldn’t intentionally leave those things behind.”

“I shouldn’t have run away without saying anything when I met you before.”

He leaned forward and grabbed Yan Laixi’s hand.

It’s so ridiculous, even if it’s really an auditory hallucination, I still have to explain it.

“Why would you stay with me if I couldn’t even find you, couldn’t even find a way to keep you?”

If his existence can only bring pain to his lover, then of course he should stay as far away as possible… In fact, he should have done this a long time ago, but after all, Chi Fu is just an ordinary person with selfish motives. He still wants to try again, fight for it again, and look for that “in case” again.

Now, he seems to have found it.

“Now that you’ve found it… take me home.”

Chi Fu felt as if his brain and mouth were disconnected, and he said a bunch of nonsense, which in short meant “I’m so happy”, “Let’s go home”, “I can finally be by your side every day again”, etc. I don’t know if Yan Laixi understood it or not, but he didn’t quite understand it himself.