Little Meteor Chapter 41
byChapter 41 Today, Everything is Up to You
Shen Mu’s father said many things to Shen Mu, most of which Shen Mu didn’t want to hear. The way his parents admitted their mistakes seemed strange to him—first admitting the error, then belittling themselves. They used this almost self-abusive method to firmly fasten the chains of guilt onto his heart again and again. The subtext was probably: Look how humble we are; who else could be the real wrongdoer but you?
But he knew he couldn’t change his parents. The boundaries of their understanding and their way of expressing love and hate had long been solidified by their generation. He couldn’t use his generation’s values to judge two souls forged by a different era. Their concession today might already be the maximum possible gap they could chisel for him in the high wall of their cognition.
Shen Mu’s father said, “There are so many broad, sunny roads you could take, but you insist on walking the single-plank bridge. I can’t stop you, but since you chose the single-plank bridge, you must let go of the desire for the excitement and understanding found on the sunny roads.”
“Uncle is truly a man of culture.”
Jiang Chengxuan was applying the compress to his eyes. Shen Mu’s voice was muffled: “What man of culture? He’s just an old stubborn conservative.”
Jiang Chengxuan chuckled, pulling him closer: “Try looking at it from another perspective. Their world is black and white—it’s either the sunny road or the single-plank bridge. But our world isn’t like that. We carve out our own path. It doesn’t matter if it’s a bridge or a road, only who is beside us and what lies ahead. Besides, you are never walking this bridge alone. I will always be by your side.”
Shen Mu looked at him, silent for a long time.
Jiang Chengxuan gently brushed his fingertip against the corner of Shen Mu’s eye, laughing softly: “What, are you going to cry again?”
“It’s nothing,” Shen Mu looked into his eyes, his voice very soft, slightly hoarse, “I really love you.”
For someone as emotionally reserved as Shen Mu, he probably wouldn’t say such direct words often in his lifetime. Jiang Chengxuan cupped the back of his head, struggling to hold back: “Mu Mu, do you have to say that right now?”
They were at Shen Mu’s house; everything had to be restrained. They couldn’t do anything.
Shen Mu thought for a moment, then kissed the back of Jiang Chengxuan’s hand like a reward: “Just hold on. It’ll be fine when we get back.”
Jiang Chengxuan flicked his forehead: “Don’t regret saying that.”
Shen Mu suddenly thought of something and laughed so hard he couldn’t stop rolling on the bed. Jiang Chengxuan asked him what was so funny. Shen Mu beckoned him closer, signaling him to lean his ear in.
Shen Mu’s tone was somewhat mischievous: “Do you remember who my dad said that jade pendant was for?”
Jiang Chengxuan froze, then realized, pinching Shen Mu’s cheeks: “It was for the daughter-in-law, right?”
Shen Mu’s eyes curved with his smile: “Uh-huh.”
Jiang Chengxuan narrowed his eyes, reaching out to tickle his sensitive spot on his waist: “It’s fine. You can only take advantage of me verbally.”
“You…” Shen Mu laughed while trying to dodge: “Stop messing around…”
As the two were laughing happily, there were two knocks on the door. Shen Mu’s father’s voice came from outside: “Finish compressing your eyes and come out quickly. There’s fruit on the table.”
Shen Mu and Jiang Chengxuan instantly froze. Shen Mu took the opportunity to press down on Jiang Chengxuan’s still-misbehaving hand, cleared his throat, and replied: “Okay, we’ll be right out!”
Shen Mu patted his leg: “Get up quickly. Let’s go eat fruit, or my mom will come knocking next.”
Jiang Chengxuan sighed. The two slowly walked out of the room. The TV in the living room was showing the Mid-Autumn Festival Gala, which was very lively. The four of them watched the gala together, with Jiang Chengxuan and Shen Mu’s father occasionally discussing a point. The atmosphere was relatively harmonious.
Midway through, Shen Mu’s mother got up and left. Shen Mu felt her expression wasn’t quite right and followed her out, finding his mother wiping away tears on the balcony.
Shen Mu walked over and hugged her: “Mom.”
His mother looked up and smiled: “It’s nothing. I just feel like our house hasn’t been this lively in a long time.”
As if afraid Shen Mu would overthink it, she emphasized again: “It’s really nothing. If you’re happy, I’m happy, truly.”
His father was a typical chauvinist, so his father usually made all the decisions, big or small. His mother hadn’t been able to interject much these past few days, but she hadn’t opposed this matter from the start. When they came clean, she had only shed a few tears.
Shen Mu knew his mother was a very strong woman; even in great pain, she wouldn’t show it in front of outsiders. Shen Mu pressed her hand against his face: “Mom, I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what?” His mother smiled and shook her head. “You’ve said ‘I’m sorry’ enough times since you were little. I just feel bad for you. You’ve already faced so much discrimination growing up, and now you’ve chosen this path. I…”
Shen Mu wiped her tears: “Mom, I don’t care about others. I only care about the people I care about.”
His mother sighed again: “Alright, whatever we say now, you won’t listen anyway. Just live your life well and try to be open-minded. Xiao Jiang is a good boy. Live well with him.”
She then remembered something else and lowered her voice to caution him: “Be sure to use protection, don’t mess around. Otherwise, even if your dad doesn’t disown you, I will.”
Hearing this, Shen Mu felt like crying and laughing at the same time. He patted her back gently: “Don’t worry, absolutely no messing around.”
They had to return after the Mid-Autumn Festival. Shen Mu’s father drove them to the train station. Before they left, he also cautioned them not to mess around. Shen Mu hugged him and whispered: “Dad, thank you.”
Shen Mu’s father stiffened, pushed him away, and brushed the hair back from his forehead: “Alright, hurry up and go. Looking at you two makes me annoyed.”
Jiang Chengxuan put his arm around Shen Mu’s shoulder: “Goodbye, Uncle. We’ll come back to see you in a while.”
Shen Mu’s father glanced at him, expressionless: “I don’t need to see you. You’re not welcome.”
Jiang Chengxuan laughed: “I’ll come even if I’m not welcome. My skin is thick, after all.”
Shen Mu’s father waved his hand, dismissing them with annoyance: “Hurry up and leave.”
Jiang Chengxuan slept the entire way back. He only woke up when Shen Mu called him to transfer transportation; otherwise, he was mostly asleep.
Doctor Jiang was usually emotionally stable, but he was actually uncertain about this situation. Even so, he never showed it in front of Shen Mu, always smiling and telling him that everything would be fine.
When the plane landed, Shen Mu woke Jiang Chengxuan. Jiang Chengxuan groggily opened his eyes, his gaze still unfocused: “We’re here?”
“Mhm,” Shen Mu gently patted his face, “Wake up. You can sleep again when we get home.”
Jiang Chengxuan sat up straight, rubbing his temples. After arriving home, Jiang Chengxuan shoved his suitcase aside and collapsed onto the sofa without even changing his shoes.
Shen Mu smiled at his rare, lazy appearance. He first opened the windows to air out the room, then walked to the sofa and touched Jiang Chengxuan’s forehead with the back of his hand: “You don’t feel unwell, do you? You slept the whole way.”
“No, just tired,” Jiang Chengxuan opened his eyes, grabbed his wrist, and squeezed it gently, “I’m fine.”
Shen Mu knew why he was tired. He held Jiang Chengxuan’s hand: “Why don’t you take a shower first?”
“Sounds good,” Jiang Chengxuan sat up and stretched: “Together?”
Shen Mu pushed his head: “The bathroom is small, not enough room. You go first, I’ll unpack the things.”
Jiang Chengxuan didn’t insist, smiling as he got up and headed to the bathroom. When he came out after showering, Shen Mu had already organized the luggage and was standing in the kitchen boiling water. White steam curled up from the pot, and a package of dried noodles and two eggs sat on the counter beside it.
He walked over and wrapped his arms around Shen Mu’s waist from behind, resting his chin on the crook of his neck: “Noodles again?”
“I can’t help it, I only know how to boil noodles,” Shen Mu tilted his head to look at him. “You didn’t eat anything on the train. Have something hot before you sleep.”
Jiang Chengxuan’s kiss suddenly pressed down. One hand cupped the back of Shen Mu’s head, and the other rested on the edge of the counter, completely encircling him. Jiang Chengxuan was usually gentle with him, but this kiss was much fiercer than usual, giving him almost no chance to breathe. Shen Mu tilted his head back, enduring the kiss until his oxygen ran out, then turned his head away, panting and whispering: “…Jiang Chengxuan.”
“Mhm.” Jiang Chengxuan responded but didn’t let go. Instead, he bit Shen Mu’s neck. Shen Mu hissed. Before he could protest, Jiang Chengxuan’s lips pressed against his again.
A phone suddenly rang loudly.
Shen Mu immediately pushed him away, his breathing still unsteady: “…Your phone?”
Jiang Chengxuan steadied his breathing: “Yours.”
It was a video call from Shen Mu’s mother. Shen Mu glared at Jiang Chengxuan; there was still a mark from the bite on his neck. Jiang Chengxuan smiled and said: “Answer it. It’s not obvious.”
Shen Mu took the phone and walked to the balcony to answer. His mother asked him: “Why did it take you so long to answer?”
“I was boiling noodles in the kitchen,” Shen Mu adjusted the camera angle, “I didn’t have my phone.”
“Oh, you two arrived,” Shen Mu’s mother smiled. “Turn the camera around, let me see Xiao Jiang’s place.”
Shen Mu was happy to oblige and turned the phone camera toward the room.
Jiang Chengxuan cracked an egg into the pot. Seeing the camera turn toward him, he smiled and called out: “Auntie.”
“Oh, Xiao Jiang,” Shen Mu’s mother’s voice came through the receiver, “The house is quite tidy.”
Jiang Chengxuan walked over smiling, taking the phone from Shen Mu’s hand: “This is the living room. The balcony faces south, so the lighting is pretty good.”
“The kitchen is a bit small,” Jiang Chengxuan held the phone further away so she could see the whole kitchen, “But it’s enough for two people.”
“Mhm, that’s good. As long as it’s enough for you two to live your lives,” Shen Mu’s mother laughed. “Alright, I won’t bother you two anymore. I just wanted to check if you made it home.”
Shen Mu’s mother reminded them a few more times to take care of themselves and eat on time before hanging up the video call. Shen Mu sighed in relief and scooped the noodles into two bowls.
Jiang Chengxuan carried the bowls out: “Auntie’s inspection came at just the right time.”
Shen Mu sat down at the dining table and touched his neck: “Good thing she didn’t notice.”
“I told you it wasn’t obvious.” Jiang Chengxuan handed him chopsticks and took a large bite himself. “I’m starving.”
Jiang Chengxuan ate quickly; his speed was trained from being a doctor. Shen Mu, however, ate slowly, chewing carefully. Jiang Chengxuan rested his chin on his hand, watching him finish. When Shen Mu stood up to clear the dishes, Jiang Chengxuan immediately picked him up. Shen Mu was startled and wrapped his arms around Jiang Chengxuan’s neck to keep from falling: “What are you doing?”
Jiang Chengxuan carried him toward the bedroom: “You don’t know?”
Shen Mu was gently placed on the bed. Just as he was about to speak, Jiang Chengxuan leaned down. Before unbuckling his belt, he explained in a very gentlemanly manner: “I’ve held back for too long. Today, I won’t heed your wishes. Is that okay?”
“…If I say no, will you agree?”
“No,” Jiang Chengxuan tilted his head and kissed the inside of his wrist, “Be good, don’t move.”
Shen Mu chuckled, tilting his head back to meet him in a long kiss: “It’s fine. Today, everything is up to you.”