EAY Chapter 18

The Remaining Short Journey

18

Beautiful and chaotic days can completely lower one’s guard. Once awakened to the fact that time is running out, the long-awaited anxiety returns to the starting line.

After the New Year’s Eve dinner, Qi Ye didn’t watch the Spring Festival Gala with his family. He returned to his room, ostensibly to act like a senior in high school and study hard, but he couldn’t focus. He rummaged through the drawers of his wardrobe and pulled out his diary.

He had put some thought into finding a hiding place for the diary, initially to keep it from Qi Xue. The diary, which had started with only a few thin pages, was now full.

The diary had a green soft cover with the words “Good Time” in gold lettering. The red bookmark ribbon stood out against the cream-colored paper.

Qi Ye had spotted this notebook at a bookstore and fallen in love with it at first sight. Among the many new and flawless items, it still shone brightly.

Now, it was a little worn, and the pages filled with ink seemed heavier.

When he got this notebook, Qi Ye hadn’t fallen for Shi Ran yet. He didn’t know what he would use the notebook for, and his heart was like an empty room, waiting for someone to move in.

Now, all of that had left its mark.

Qi Ye hesitated whether to erase those marks.

Unrequited love was a little hard, but the only fortunate thing was that he could decide when to end it, to fully sort out this relationship himself. Qi Ye didn’t really want to keep this diary. It recorded too many details, too many trivialities. His brain couldn’t compete with these things.

He only knew that he would like Shi Ran for a long time, and he didn’t want to look back at the diary in that distant future and be hurt again by the words on it.

When he came out of the room, it was already past twelve o’clock. Qi Xue was obediently receiving New Year’s money in front of their parents. His mother waved him over, “Come here quickly.”

Qi Xue noticed the thing he was holding in his hand, “What’s that?”

Luckily, it was wrapped in a bag. Qi Ye said, “I sorted out some notebooks I don’t need, I’m going to throw them away.”

New Year’s Eve had a feeling of quietness and liveliness. You couldn’t see people in the residential complex and streets, but every household was brightly lit, and fireworks occasionally flashed in the night sky.

Qi Ye took a long breath of white air and stood in front of the large green trash can. He still couldn’t bring himself to lift the lid.

What if someone found it? Qi Ye thought. There seemed to be real names in the diary. What if a bored person found it and happened to know Shi Ran, and gave the diary to Shi Ran? What if Shi Ran then brought it to him? What would he do?

What if, what if Shi Ran was in a relationship at that time, and his girlfriend knew that there was a boy who was thinking about her boyfriend, writing so many mushy words? Wouldn’t she misunderstand Shi Ran?

Then, Qi Ye looked at the diary, should he tear it up and throw it away, tear it into tiny pieces? Or should he burn it in a fire?

But that kind of action always felt like something you would do out of sadness and disappointment. Or to completely wave goodbye, forget that past, forget that person.

Qi Ye didn’t really fit either of those situations.

As he was thinking of another way, the protagonist of the diary called him. It was the first time Qi Ye hesitated to answer Shi Ran’s call, as if he knew that this person’s voice would have a big impact on him.

But he still answered. Shi Ran’s cheerful tone was like an elementary school student, “Teacher Qi, Happy New Year!”

Qi Ye smiled slightly, “Happy New Year!”

Shi Ran exclaimed, “I was originally going to call you right on time, but my phone didn’t charge! And can you believe it, the couplets on our door were blown away by the wind! I said to use tape, but the old man insisted on mixing paste, and it didn’t stick at all…”

Qi Ye stood in the cold wind, but his heart was incredibly warm.

After Shi Ran finished rambling, he asked what Qi Ye was doing.

Qi Ye glanced at the green trash can next to him, moved a little further away, and said, “I was tired from doing homework, so I came out for some fresh air. My family is watching the Spring Festival Gala.”

“It’s almost over, right? My grandpa is watching it too. He has to watch ‘Unforgettable Tonight’ every time, and then we go out to set off fireworks.” Shi Ran didn’t forget to take credit, “Teacher Qi, I’ve been doing homework today too, not slacking off at all.”

“Yeah, that’s amazing.” Qi Ye praised him, curving his lips, and added, “Don’t stay up too late, remember to go to bed early.”

“Okay.”

It felt like the call was about to end, and Qi Ye was a little reluctant. He subconsciously grabbed the phone with both hands, and hurriedly asked, “Shi Ran, do you, do you have a university you want to go to?”

He still cared, he still wanted to know.

Shi Ran made an “ah” sound on the other end, and said a little embarrassedly, “With my grades, it doesn’t seem like I get to choose a school, it’s more like the school chooses me.”

“It’s okay to think about it, you can even think about Tsinghua and Peking University.” Qi Ye said.

“That’s really too much to think about.” Shi Ran laughed heartily on the other end. Although it was a joke, Qi Ye’s words comforted him.

Even if your abilities aren’t up to par, is it wrong to think about it? It’s not against the law.

After a while, Shi Ran’s tone became serious, “Many students in our class have schools they want to go to, right? I see a lot of people putting photos of their target universities on their desks. As for me, I don’t have good enough grades and I don’t have time to think. But that’s just an excuse, isn’t it? I don’t have a concrete dream or goal for a school or major. When people ask me about the future, all I can think about is earning money on my own and living a good life with Grandpa. It’s just such a vague picture… Qi Ye, am I pretty useless?”

Qi Ye laughed softly. Why was the person he liked so cute?

It might sound annoying to say, but even his troubles were so cute.

Shi Ran misunderstood, “You’re laughing at me after all.”

Qi Ye could imagine him pouting and getting angry on the other end of the phone, and quickly said, “Not at all, you’re much more amazing than me. At least you have a picture, which means you still have aspirations in your heart, right? But I don’t even have a picture.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, maybe I just lack imagination.” Qi Ye felt his right hand holding the phone was numb from the cold, and his right ear was a little damp and itchy, so he switched directions and stomped his feet.

Shi Ran heard him inhaling softly, “You’re cold outside, why don’t you go inside quickly?”

“Yeah, I know.” Qi Ye smiled.

“Well, that doesn’t mean I’m more amazing than you. You’re so much better at studying than me, and you’re more capable than me too, you just don’t have a good judgment of yourself.” Shi Ran said, laughing again, “But there should be a lot of students like us who don’t have specific goals. We’re not that weird, right?”

“Of course not. Even if you don’t have a goal, you’re still working hard to change the current situation, which is really, really amazing.” Qi Ye said from the bottom of his heart.

Shi Ran chuckled twice, “Teacher Qi, you always praise me to the heavens whenever I talk to you. You know, if I had met a teacher like you since kindergarten, that would have been great. Well, but it might also be a little dangerous. If I had been praised all the time since I was little, I might have become a narcissist.”

“I don’t count as your teacher, praise is fine.” Qi Ye reminded him.

“Of course you do, you’re the teacher who has helped me the most.”

Qi Ye heard the sound of pages turning on the other end, it seemed that Shi Ran was still holding a book. Even though Qi Ye really wanted to keep talking, all the way until dawn, he still couldn’t bear to waste Shi Ran’s time.

So, at the beginning of the New Year, he sent his most sincere blessing——

“Shi Ran, you will definitely go to a great place and find something you really want to do.”

I will help you, in the remaining short journey with you, I will do my best.