DP Chapter 28
by VolareHe even brought out a syllogism. He was really using every trick he knew.
Xu Chuo kept his head down and didn’t speak, the frequency of his blinking was noticeably faster than usual, and his eyelashes fluttered. Xiang Yiye seemed to be able to see gears turning rapidly in his brain, trying hard to fabricate a reply that was both appropriate and allowed him to retreat gracefully.
Xiang Yiye looked at him, suddenly chuckled, and tapped him on the forehead with a bent knuckle, saying, “Do you know what you look like right now?”
Xu Chuo’s spellcasting was interrupted. He rubbed his forehead, briefly pulled out of his thoughts, and asked, “…What?”
“The summer after my college entrance exam, a relative asked me to come to their house and tutor their child in math,” Xiang Yiye said. “You’re like that kid I was teaching.”
Xu Chuo’s expression softened a little, but he found the idea incredible. After becoming an adult, other people’s evaluations of him were always mature, steady, considerate, meticulous, and thoughtful; none of them had anything to do with being a child.
“That kid was very clever, but he was occasionally careless and liked to get hung up on details. He stubbornly refused to acknowledge or see a very small unit conversion,” Xiang Yiye said. “Don’t you think that’s exactly how you’re acting stubborn now?”
Xu Chuo refused to accept that idea: “I’m not a kid…”
Xiang Yiye put an arm around him, gently patted his back, and followed the words, “Right, you’re not. I could tell that kid didn’t use the right units, but when you stand in front of me, I can’t see what you’re thinking at all. Brother Chuo, you’re harder to solve than any math problem… but I’m willing to listen and willing to learn. You have to give me some clues to solve the problem, right?”
His voice lingered in his ear, very soft, and the arm behind him was even softer, like a gentle but powerful river, with no judgmental knives or controlling nets inside.
Xu Chuo was like a clam, gradually relaxing his body, raising his arms, and hugging Xiang Yiye back, saying, “…Today could have been very happy.”
“There’s no ‘could have been.’ Today *is* very happy,” Xiang Yiye said.
“Happy even after going to the police station?” Xu Chuo released his arms and looked at him. “You weren’t worried at all when you got the call?”
“I was a little worried at first, but then I felt there was nothing to worry about. If you’re upright, you don’t have to fear your shadow. Aren’t I standing here safe and sound now?” Xiang Yiye said.
“When you become more famous in the future, there will be many eyes watching. Aren’t you afraid that your every move now will be dug up and sensationalized?” Xu Chuo said.
“So what? If people dig it up, can’t I just say I was preparing for acting roles later?” Xiang Yiye said. “Besides, don’t I have you? You’re so capable, you can just give me a male lead role whenever you want. Would you let my black history fly all over the internet?”
Xu Chuo frowned. “Did the police say why they suspected you?”
Xiang Yiye knew he couldn’t hide it anymore, so he said, “Because I left my phone number in two places: a club, and a drawing studio, Xie Lei’s studio. I happened to pass by that area that night, so I went in to take a look.”
He thought Xu Chuo would then ask him what he was doing leaving his number for Xie Lei, and he was thinking about how to explain it so the situation wouldn’t become even more complicated.
Xu Chuo said, “Xiang Yiye, you’re too naive. There are too many cases of calling white black. Can you guarantee that you’ll always be safe?”
“You’re making the problem too serious. Okay, if you’re just worried about me, then I promise, from now on I’ll definitely obey the law, strive to be better, and protect my good name, okay?” Xiang Yiye said.
Xu Chuo’s brows were still furrowed, so Xiang Yiye lowered his head and kissed away the frown between his brows, then lower, all the way down his nose bridge, the tip of his nose, and finally his lips.
He learned this from his hot-tempered father. Once upon a time, when Xiang Yiye was still young, Father Xiang and Qiao Sha were also young and impetuous, and would occasionally argue fiercely in the living room over trivial matters. Xiang Yiye didn’t know how to mediate, so he simply hid in his room and slept soundly. When he woke up, he found that the world was quiet. He quietly crept to the edge of the door and peeked out, just in time to see Father Xiang lean over and give Qiao Sha a loud kiss on the cheek.
His parents rarely openly showed their affection in front of him, but Xiang Yiye remembered that glance for a long time. After that, he felt that lovers should give each other a kiss after an argument.
This kiss was different from any kiss before. Xu Chuo could feel that the person in front of him was walking towards him, forcefully knocking on the door of his heart with a sincere heart, but he didn’t have that joy and excitement of meeting a new soulmate. Instead, he was overwhelmed by a sky-high, earth-shattering fear, warning him not to easily let people in.
Xu Chuo instinctively felt that he should run away immediately. He spread his palms and pressed them against Xiang Yiye’s chest, hastily pulling back before the kiss became too intense and passionate.
In the living room, Xu Chuo made a phone call to confirm that the driver had delivered the things to the detention center.
Xiang Yiye could sense Xu Chuo’s sudden estrangement, and thought he was still in a bad mood, so he asked, “Will Xie Lei’s matter be difficult to handle?”
“It’s okay. Once he’s out, I’ll send him to rehab, and then we’ll see,” Xu Chuo said.
“I heard that drugs not only affect the body, but also change the spirit and temperament,” Xiang Yiye said, trying to choose his words carefully, so that it didn’t seem too targeted, although deep down he wanted Xie Lei to go somewhere cool and stay there, and stop causing trouble for Xu Chuo.
But it wasn’t that easy. Xie Lei was like a spiritual father to Xu Chuo, and besides, he hadn’t actually done any real harm to Xu Chuo yet.
He didn’t know that Xu Chuo had seen Xie Lei change more than once. Besides his inconsistent behavior at the art exhibition, at the police station that night, after Xie Lei was taken away, Xu Chuo turned around to ask about Xiang Yiye’s matter, and learned that Xie Lei had left information detrimental to Xiang Yiye at the police station.
The police said, “When asked if the phone number on that piece of paper was related to the source of the drugs, Xie Lei didn’t explicitly deny it…”
Xu Chuo felt a chill down his spine. How had the teacher he had admired and respected for ten years turned into such a person who disregarded the facts and wantonly framed others?
“If you can’t handle it alone, you can ask me for help,” Xiang Yiye said.
“You left your phone number at the studio to help me too?” Xu Chuo said.
“Yeah, I didn’t know he was doing drugs then. I thought he was just short on money.”
“Even if he’s short on money, he shouldn’t have come to you. These are all my problems, I shouldn’t bother you,” Xu Chuo said. “Xiang Yiye, you care too much about me, it makes me a little… overwhelmed.”
“Isn’t it good to care about you? Or do you think I’m meddling? Your business is my business, why do we have to separate things so clearly? Besides, you care about me too. Besides introducing me to Director Gu, you said a lot of good things for me at Xinghui, I know all about it, I’ve kept it in my heart,” Xiang Yiye said.
“You only need to accept what I give you, you don’t need to do anything extra,” Xu Chuo said.
“I’m willing.”
“I don’t need you to help me,” Xu Chuo repeated.
“You do need it, you just don’t realize it,” Xiang Yiye said. “One-sided demands or one-sided giving is wrong, unless… you never wanted to have a healthy relationship with me from the beginning.”
It was mid-March, more than half a month away from the date they had set, but Xiang Yiye’s words brought that agreement to the forefront, forcing them to confront it.
Xu Chuo said, “Is this what you mean by a long-term relationship?”
“Yes, to have each other, and to care about everything about each other.”
Care about everything, reveal everything, from body to soul. Xu Chuo felt that fear was almost overwhelming, drowning him and making him suffocate. He was silent for a long time, then said, “I’m sorry, I might not be able to do that.”
Xiang Yiye’s breath stopped for a few seconds, and his face turned ugly. “This is the answer you came up with after thinking for more than a month? A dismissive ‘I can’t do it,’ who are you trying to get rid of?”
Xu Chuo pondered for a moment, then said, “I’ve thought about it this past month. I can promise you that I’ll only focus on you when I like you, and I can also promise you that I’ll extend the duration of this relationship as much as possible. This is already my limit.”
“So you can accept it?”
“But your curiosity about me needs to have limits. I’m not used to revealing too much of myself, and I don’t want you to suppress yourself to accommodate me. The most important thing is that we’re happy together, like those three and a half hours this afternoon, just spending time together without any burden is enough,” Xu Chuo said.
“Are you saying I want too much? Or do you simply not understand what you really want?” Xiang Yiye said angrily, feeling that all his patience and guidance that night had been wasted.
“Xu Chuo, you’re just a coward. Your ease and sophistication are all fake, a painted mask. If you wear a mask for too long, you won’t be able to take it off, do you know that?” Xiang Yiye said.
Xu Chuo was speechless. The mask on his face had been worn for years, and it had grown into his flesh, becoming a part of him. Tearing it off would peel off a layer of bloody skin.
He gave a somewhat strained smile. “Do you have to expose me like this? Can’t you leave me any face at all?”
Xiang Yiye said coldly, “Either you hide your tail well and pretend for the rest of your life, and I can sincerely cooperate with you and play along.”
“But you’ve already seen it,” Xu Chuo said. He had seen that he was actually a very terrible person, his soul filled with loneliness, timidity, and insecurity, far removed from the image of the perfect lover that he had always tried to create.
“What I’ve seen belongs to me.”
Xu Chuo was silent.
“You bastard,” Xiang Yiye said. “I’m telling you, it’s impossible for me to be willing to be a toy who only knows how to be happy.”
Xiang Yiye left.
Xu Chuo walked to the entrance hall and picked up the glass bottle.
Fresh flowers were too delicate, their beauty lasted too short a time. After only a day of running around, the petals were a little wilted.
Xu Chuo lowered his head and sniffed, but he could barely distinguish the scent of the flowers in the thin air.
Those snow towers that he had given him, that had easily pleased him and that he had held in his hands, looking at them again and again—in the end, besides the fragrance of the flowers, he took nothing else away.