Difficult To Raise Chapter 1

Chapter 1 Childhood

When the first rain of summer poured down, Jiang Ran lay in bed, caught in a Nightmare.

In the dream, the sky was dark and gloomy. He was huddled in a corner of the Living Room and saw that woman.

That woman had an impossibly beautiful face—inky black hair, rosy red lips, and skin so pale it almost glowed. She looked like a siren. She usually took exceptional care of her appearance; various exquisite clothes and jewelry made her look radiant.

Yet, at this moment, in this dream, the woman was utterly wretched. Her clothes were torn, her hair messy, and her exposed arms and thighs were covered in bruises and scars, both deep and shallow. She stared with frightened eyes, watching helplessly as a large, fan-sized palm struck her face.

“Bitch!” The man’s expression was manic. His eyes were bloodshot, and he resembled a raging beast. He snarled viciously at the woman, “You dare give your old man Cuckoldry! I’ll beat you to death today!”

Before he finished speaking, he kicked the woman with a flying leg, making her cry out in pain. She whimpered, letting out a weak moan, and pleaded desperately on the floor, “Please… stop hitting me… please…”

But she didn’t know that these words of submission only made the man crazier. He beat and cursed her, trembling with excitement, his blows growing increasingly reckless. Gradually, the woman couldn’t even make a sound.

Jiang Ran watched from the corner, not attempting to rush forward. Countless previous dreams had taught him that going over now would be useless. The only thing he could do was wait—wait for this boundless Nightmare to finally end.

Enough, he thought to himself. What more do you want? I already know the ending.

He was like an observer, coldly watching this scene filled with violence and gore, his heart incapable of stirring even a ripple.

After an unknown amount of time, a sharp ringing sound broke out. The man’s frantic face and the woman’s faint whimpers finally shattered together in the wind. Amidst the jarring sound, Jiang Ran suddenly opened his eyes, waking up drenched in sweat.

He glanced at the time: five o’clock in the morning. It was still pitch black outside, carrying the dampness of the post-rain air.

Jiang Ran wiped the sweat from his forehead and slowly climbed out of bed. He put on his clothes neatly, then put on his shoes and stepped down. The whole process shouldn’t take more than three minutes—it was supposed to be that way, but just as one foot touched the floor, a small, tender hand reached out from the side and firmly grasped his index finger.

Jiang Ran looked back. The child on the bed was lying on his side, his rosy lips slightly pouted. His eyes weren’t open, but the hand gripping him was tight. He was only six years old, the age when children love to sleep. Though clearly exhausted, he instinctively spoke, calling softly, “Ge… Gege…”

Jiang Ran frowned, looking down at the half-asleep child. He tried to gently pull away, but the child’s grip was strong; he couldn’t free himself.

Jiang Ran didn’t hesitate much before trying to pry open the fingers. He didn’t use force, but the child instantly woke up. He looked at Jiang Ran with hazy eyes, recognized who it was, and smiled.

Only after smiling did he realize Jiang Ran’s action. The child’s eyes immediately reddened. He reached out with both hands to hug him, saying pitifully, “Gege, hug.”

He was small but surprisingly strong. He clung to Jiang Ran’s arm like a drowning man clutching the last straw, refusing to let go. Jiang Ran tried to shake him off several times but failed. He said with some impatience, “Jiang Jin, let go.”

The child was very sensitive to others’ emotions. Sensing his displeasure, he finally let go hesitantly. He was fair-skinned and adorable. When awake, his black eyes were large and spirited, making him look like a porcelain doll carved from pink jade. When he stared intently at someone with those grape-like eyes, he could melt anyone’s heart.

However, Jiang Ran’s heart was hard as iron, and he had no intention of indulging him. The moment the child let go, he put on his slippers and headed to the Bathroom.

Seeing him leave the bed, Jiang Jin forgot his sadness and quickly followed on his short legs, like an inseparable Little Tail.

While Jiang Ran was washing up, Jiang Jin watched him unblinkingly with his dark eyes, then clumsily mimicked his actions to groom himself, behaving as obediently as possible.

Jiang Ran ignored him. After finishing his preparations, he went to the Kitchen to rinse rice and boil porridge. He only knew how to make simple meals, like plain white porridge or vegetable porridge, which he often made, perhaps adding a bit of meat at most.

There was no need to think about the taste. Fortunately, Jiang Jin wasn’t picky; he ate whatever he was given and was very easy to raise.

After the two finished breakfast, it was nearly time. Jiang Ran had to go to school and couldn’t take Jiang Jin with him, so he had to entrust him to a neighbor for care.

The neighbor was an eccentric old man named Chen. Perhaps the shock of losing his wife in middle age and his son in old age had made him gloomy and increasingly harsh. He had almost no friends here.

Old people sleep lightly, so he was up early. The door opened almost as soon as Jiang Ran knocked.

Jiang Ran held Jiang Jin and greeted Old Man Chen.

Old Man Chen glanced at him and replied with a cold “Mm.”

Jiang Ran set Jiang Jin down on the floor and instructed, “Little Jin, you must listen to Grandpa Chen, okay? Ge will pick you up after school.”

Jiang Jin was obedient, nodding and saying okay. His eyes were fixed on Jiang Ran, not moving for a long time.

Jiang Ran rubbed his head and turned to leave.

Seeing him about to go, Jiang Jin finally couldn’t hold back. He quickly reached out and tightly held Jiang Ran’s hand, refusing to let go.

Jiang Ran paused and looked back to see Jiang Jin’s expression, filled with attachment, pleading, and reluctance. His heart instantly softened, and he coaxed him gently for a few more moments. Jiang Jin pressed his face against his arm, nodding vigorously, but his hand remained firmly clasped, showing no intention of releasing him.

It wasn’t until Jiang Ran frowned that he reluctantly let go, whining, “Gege must come back early. I’ll wait for you.”

As time went on, he understood that Jiang Ran had to go to school, so he stopped making a fuss.

Old Man Chen saw the brothers’ reluctant farewell and couldn’t help rolling his eyes. He curled his lip, “Alright, it’s not a big deal. What’s with all this clinginess for a child this old?”

Jiang Ran felt a little awkward. He didn’t look at Jiang Jin again and turned to leave decisively.

On the way to school, he was still thinking about Jiang Jin, recalling his pitiful expression, and he fell into a memory.

When the family upheaval first happened, Jiang Jin was incredibly clingy and refused to let him go to school, throwing a terrible tantrum.

Back then, the moment Jiang Ran stepped out the door, Jiang Jin followed, clinging desperately to Jiang Ran’s leg at the entrance, crying as if the sky were falling.

Jiang Ran used every trick he had to soothe him, promising to return soon and assuring him he wouldn’t abandon him, but Jiang Jin wouldn’t listen to a word. He just kept crying, crying so much that Jiang Ran felt like crying too.

In truth, he didn’t want to leave his younger brother alone at home, but he had no choice.

Just as Jiang Ran was at a loss, the constantly closed door next door suddenly opened. A sixty-something old man stood at the entrance with a displeased look, glancing at the wailing Jiang Jin, then at Jiang Ran.

“This child is always crying. It’s almost deafening,” Old Man Chen muttered, sounding annoyed. “Does anyone need to sleep around here?”

Jiang Ran glanced at him but didn’t speak.

He had a very poor impression of this old man. This person had always been most critical of his mother, who dressed flamboyantly every day, often making snide remarks about her behind her back, saying the nastiest things. He was even more irritating than the neighborhood Gossip.

The people in the building found him strange and didn’t interact with him much. Jiang Ran usually pretended not to see him.

Seeing Jiang Ran ignore him, Old Man Chen’s face darkened. He said, “Get this child away quickly. Don’t let him cry in front of my door.”

Jiang Ran still didn’t say anything, only reaching out to pull Jiang Jin’s small hand away, which scared Jiang Jin into hugging his leg tighter, like a startled bird.

“Ge… don’t go… Ge… don’t go.” His eyes were red, and tears streamed down his face as if they would never stop. In no time, he was a tear-stained mess, looking utterly miserable.

Sometimes Jiang Ran truly didn’t know where he got so many tears from. He looked at the child’s red, tear-streaked face, sighed, and finally couldn’t bear to be harsh. He coaxed, “Little Jin, be good. Ge isn’t leaving forever. Ge is going to school and will come back at noon to cook for you.”

Little Jiang Jin didn’t understand what school meant. In his world, if Jiang Ran left, he wouldn’t come back, just like his mother. So he couldn’t hear anything.

Jiang Ran coaxed and persuaded, using the utmost patience he possessed in his life, but the child just kept crying until his throat was hoarse. Jiang Ran had no choice but to pick him up, intending to take him to school.

“Enough, enough.” Old Man Chen, who had been watching the drama for a long time, was speechless when he saw Jiang Ran actually planning to take the child to school. He snorted coldly and mocked, “How can you go to school with a little kid? Won’t that be ridiculous? Leave him here, I’ll watch him for you.”

As soon as he said this, he noticed Jiang Ran’s surprised gaze fall upon him. Old Man Chen’s ears turned red, and he added defensively, “I’m afraid he’ll disturb others. What if he bothers someone else?”

Jiang Ran looked at Old Man Chen, then at Jiang Jin. After a moment of hesitation, he handed Jiang Jin over.

But the moment he let go, Jiang Jin wrapped his arms around his neck, burying his head in his collar, crying miserably, “No, no, I want Gege, I want Gege…”

“What Gege? Your brother is just going to school. He’s not leaving forever,” Old Man Chen felt a headache coming on.

Jiang Jin didn’t even look at him, only focusing on weeping sadly into Jiang Ran’s shoulder.

Cold tears dripped from the child’s face, wetting Jiang Ran’s blue and white school uniform. The child’s warm skin pressed against him, and he was trembling all over from crying.

Jiang Ran felt a pang of heartache and couldn’t help his eyes reddening. He gritted his teeth and endured it for a long time, but finally hardened his heart, forcefully separated the child’s hands, and placed him into Old Man Chen’s arms. He walked downstairs without a word.

Old Man Chen held Jiang Jin, who smacked him in the face. The child was strong, and it actually hurt a little. He barely managed not to cry out, but he held it in.

“You need to be a good boy. Your brother works very hard,” he whispered into Jiang Jin’s ear, then reached out to pat the child’s back reassuringly. He shouted toward Jiang Ran’s retreating figure, “Go to school without worry! I refuse to believe I can’t handle this Little Bastard.”

Jiang Ran reached the bottom of the stairs, still hearing Jiang Jin’s cries. He lowered his eyes and secretly wiped away the tears from the corners of his eyes.