Chew Slowly Chapter 87

Chapter 87 Chapter 87

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Xu Qiaochuan got wind and had a sore throat that day.A monk saw that he was not very energetic and gave him two packets of cold medicine.Unfortunately, it was of little use as I started to have a fever the next day.

He put on an extra sweater before going out, but it was still cold, so Xu Qiaochuan pulled on his hat.He went to get his ID card and fell asleep on the table while waiting in the living room.The master in the living room returned late, and the sound of the door woke him up.Xu Qiaochuan’s shoulders suddenly twitched and he opened his eyes quickly.

He looked at the person, whose face was still blurry, and he could see a pair of lips opening and closing, but the words could not be heard clearly.He was panicking, thinking that it might be a greeting, but the “thank you” stuck in his throat, and he was speechless.

“You have a fever.” The master gave him a cup of hot water, as if knowing that Xu Qiaochuan didn’t hear clearly, he repeated it patiently.There is no need to thank you for this sentence. Xu Qiaochuan nodded and lowered his eyes.

The master did not drive the person away, letting Xu Qiaochuan rest here first, while he returned to the table, opened the scriptures and took notes.He could hear the pages turning, the friction of paper and pen, the more distant sound of sutras, and the waves of pine trees rising from the mountains.Xu Qiaochuan closed his eyes and fell asleep again.

His head felt dizzy and he felt heavy pain whenever he moved, but Xu Qiaochuan didn’t want to sleep.He closed his eyes and separated himself from the sounds – he had a fever.Being sick is sad, but it’s not just about being sick.They flow with the blood and grow with the bones. To this day, it is impossible to pinpoint the cause.

Xu Qiaochuan opened his eyes.The glass of water is not as hot as before, but the temperature is not obvious when you hold it, and you only know it is cold when you enter it.The chill spreads downward, clearly outlining the internal organs.

“You forgot to take something with you.” Seeing him getting up to leave, the master in the living room put down his pen and stopped him, and pointed at somewhere in the room.On the table just now, next to the water glass, Xu Qiaochuan saw a bulging envelope containing his mobile phone and ID card.

Before going down the mountain, he went to the Medicine Master’s Hall again. He was sick, but he had a good reason to go to the temple to worship Buddha.He has been cultivating in Zhaozheng Temple these days, cleaned the Medicine Master’s Hall, and recited sutras there.But when he came with some thoughts, he would not go in when he arrived at the door, but would only look inside.

The golden Buddha lowered his eyes and looked down at all living beings with compassion. Xu Qiaochuan also looked at him, full of worry. He did not make any prayers because he did not want the gods and Buddhas to hear such wishes.

There is a small house behind the Medicine Master Hall, where the old Zen master drank tea and meditated.Xu Qiaochuan went up and knocked on the door. Someone in the room answered and said, “Master, I have to leave.”

I didn’t choose to continue placing the order, nor did I accept the name.As if he understood his decision, the old Zen master just responded lightly.

“If you have something to tell me, come in and sit down.”

The door has no lock and can be opened with a slight push.Xu Qiaochuan didn’t move: “I’ll leave right away. Just ask here. I can’t understand that sentence.”

The old Zen master invited him here several times, where he would sit for a while and just drink tea without saying much.After he finished drinking, the incense burned out, and the old Zen master asked him to leave.Only that day I said one more thing.

“What do you mean I’m more patient than him?” Xu Qiaochuan’s throat hurt and his voice was hoarse. He rubbed it a few times, as if this could make him speak more clearly.

“Come in.”

He actually started to struggle again, he was really stubborn, that sentence was actually not important.Xu Qiaochuan shook his head and did not open the door. He wanted to leave.Inside a door, the old Zen master said a Buddhist verse that he didn’t understand, and the door suddenly opened.

“I can’t keep my temper.” Although Chen Zongqian smiled, there was a lot of sadness in his eyes.

The wind is even colder, stirring up the faint fragrance.This fragrance is inherently motionless, like an old house or a wintersweet tree, those silent and certain, unchanging existences.

Xu Qiaochuan was ill and his perception was slower than before, so it took him a while to respond and give him a hug.Gentleness is really concrete and wraps people up in detail.

Chen Zongqian said: “I really miss you very much.”

At the small clinic at the foot of Shizhi Mountain, the doctor measured Xu Qiaochuan’s temperature at 38.2°C and asked him to hang a bottle of water here.While preparing the medicine, Xu Qiaochuan fell asleep for only a few minutes and woke up when Chen Zongqian was rolling back his sleeves.

The little nurse squeezed his hand and pushed the needle into the blood vessel.Xu Qiaochuan felt uncomfortable and opened his mouth but could not speak.Chen Zongqian came over and said it would be fine soon. His words attracted people’s attention and he could only hear Chen Zongqian’s voice.

Chen Zongqian covered the infusion tube for him, with his hands very close to each other.Xu Qiaochuan looked at it, closed his eyes and fell asleep again without leaning on Chen Zongqian’s shoulder.With his hat on, he was trapped in the shadows, and his illness seemed to have taken shape.

Also while he was unconscious, Chen Zongqian quietly held his hand.Xu Qiaochuan’s hands were very cold, and his hook fingers moved slightly.Chen Zongqian immediately raised his head to look at him, still asleep.After holding that hand, Chen Zongqian gradually relaxed.A drop of potion seemed to be poured on him, instilled, making his heart slowly fill up.

“I used to often wonder what it would be like if you grew up with me. I had assumed a lot of possibilities for us to get along.” Chen Zongqian touched his finger, “But as soon as I saw you, I forgot all the exercises I had done before. You are different from all the assumptions… which made me feel at a loss.”

“You are my brother. I can’t help but love you. I can’t make up for the fifteen years I lost, and I can’t help but feel guilty.” Chen Zongqian quietly rubbed his palms. Xu Qiaochuan moved again, and he simply held it whole.

When Xu Qiaochuan opened his eyes, his whole hand was warm, even though he couldn’t keep it warm in his pocket before.His neck was sore and he stretched his body. When he moved, the people around him also moved.Chen Zongqian asked him if he was awake?He knew the question, but he didn’t want to answer, and he heard someone say that there was still a little potion left.

He remembered where this place was – a small clinic in a scenic area.After the potion was finished, the infusion prompter beeped, calling the nurse over.She was about to remove Xu Qiaochuan’s needle when Chen Zongqian suddenly said: “I’ll do it.”

When he was stunned, the man had skillfully held down the fixed strap and quickly pulled out the needle.

The little nurse left, but Chen Zongqian was still holding him down. Xu Qiaochuan coughed.He hoped that he was not sober enough so that he could kiss him regardless of the consequences, but he was sober that he and Chen Zongqian looked at each other and couldn’t help but think, what are you doing here again?

The car stopped at the door of the clinic. Chen Zongqian opened the back seat door. Xu Qiaochuan hesitantly got in, and then Chen Zongqian followed.

“That sentence is true. I won’t lie to you.” Chen Zongqian looked at him seriously. “I have been to Zhaozheng Temple several times and I have seen you. I miss you very much.”

Xu Qiaochuan didn’t speak. His lips were very dry and he pursed them subconsciously.Chen Zongqian wanted to touch him, but as soon as he reached out, Xu Qiaochuan turned his head away in conflict.

“You said before that I don’t love you, I only love you as a younger brother. I can’t refute you.”

In the completely enclosed carriage, Chen Zongqian’s aura enveloped people.Xu Qiaochuan huddled in the corner, and these words made him shed tears instantly.Xu Qiaochuan simply raised his hand and wiped it clean, but moisture still condensed on his eyelashes.He stared straight at people without squinting.

Chen Zongqian could completely understand why Xu Qiaochuan was angry. He smiled ashamedly: “In addition to the love that ‘I think’ and ‘should’ be given to you, there are also some feelings that go beyond the rules. I like to hold you, kiss you, and even have sex. Reason tells me that as a brother, I cannot do this, so I am in pain, but I can’t cheat myself from being unhappy.”

He moved out of his home very early and lived alone. At that time, his life was not very lively.

“I used to think that I liked peeling crab shells, picking shrimp threads, and opening canned cats for the marshal, but that’s not the case. I just like the feeling of having you by my side, with me.”

Even earlier, Chen Zongqian was looking forward to returning home from get off work. The happiest thing was that he could see Xu Qiaochuan in the living room when he opened the door.Or he drove to the industrial area, parked at the water tower, walked to the door of the hardware factory, and waited for Xu Qiaochuan to swipe his card and come out.

“That’s nothing special. It’s just that when you are there, it becomes a little brighter and the meaning is different. I used to enjoy these with peace of mind, but I never thought that happiness became concrete because of you, not because of my brother, but because of you yourself.”

Chen Zongqian finally touched the tear. He touched the face of Xu Qiaochuan, his brother and his lover.It gradually softens and melts, and the eyes become very transparent.

“I’m going to kiss you.” He leaned forward and looked level with Xu Qiaochuan’s eyes. They were too close and rolled up in the heat. The pair of human figures would be burned to ashes in the heat wave of magma.

“But I’m sick.” Xu Qiaochuan’s breath was all that was left, and he noticed the kiss between his eyebrows.His thoughts were confused, and he was wrapped in gentleness and fell into Chen Zongqian’s arms.

“Someone told me that anticipation is the beginning of love.” The person in his arms was trembling, and he put his hand on the back of Xu Qiaochuan’s heart. “I hope you can always be by my side, or you are willing to let me come to you. I want you to feel that I love you, and I also want to have a future with me…”

The word “love” brought out nightmares. Xu Qiaochuan forced himself to withdraw from tenderness and struggled to leave Chen Zongqian.He raised his head, and a ray of red stretched from his chin to his neck.Xu Qiaochuan covered his mouth and nose, holding his other hand in front of him defensively, and suddenly retracted when Chen Zongqian touched him.

“I don’t want to…I’m scared.” Xu Qiaochuan’s body was shaking violently. He suppressed his breathing and bent down to hide himself.But Chen Zongqian’s aura cannot be ignored. He has nowhere to retreat, which makes people suddenly frightened.

He found his true self, so hideous and ugly, the evil appearance that he tried his best to hide.

“I’m crazy… I’m crazy, I’m not normal, and I often don’t even know what I’m doing.” Xu Qiaochuan was heartbroken and kept shaking his head, “Lilian asked me to take a test and asked me hundreds of questions over and over again… The answer is that I am different from others.”

He couldn’t avoid Chen Zongqian, so he was so determined that he simply exposed his filth and ugliness. With tears in his eyes, he looked at the face he liked vaguely.

“You don’t know… how much I like you, but how afraid I am of biting off your throat.” Half of Xu Qiaochuan’s face was stained with filth, and his mouth was filled with salty and bitter taste. “Why do you think there is a knife in my dormitory, just under the mat? They all know that I have it… I often think, just stab them to death, and then I will die too.”

“Xiaoqiao!” Chen Zongqian exclaimed, and he was pushed away hard.Xu Qiaochuan sat astride him, exerted all his strength to push him down, put his hands on Chen Zongqian’s shoulders, and then moved up to strangle his neck.The ten fingers are tightly bound, like a white snake strangling.The feeling of suffocation caused the heart and lungs to expand violently, causing Xu Qiaochuan’s evil and desire to rise and beat with his lifeblood, which sprouted like love.

He relaxed his strength, buried his head in Chen Zongqian’s neck and coughed violently. It took him a while to find his voice, “She, my mother is gone, I don’t care about anything anymore.”

That was the only thing holding him back from a nervous breakdown.He said he didn’t care, but he really didn’t care. He forgot that he was sick and that he was dirty.Xu Qiaochuan let go of the man, but didn’t give him a chance to breathe.

Chen Zongqian’s hair was pulled, and Xu Qiaochuan forced him to raise his head and face him.The kiss was a bite, which made his lower lip numb and then stinging. Xu Qiaochuan bit him, the tips of his teeth almost digging into the flesh.He ate the rich blood, and he didn’t know if it was his own, Xu Qiaochuan’s, or both.Xu Qiaochuan was bloodthirsty and pain-thirsty, and he was happy to see him like this.

Xu Qiaochuan completely exposed his true nature and kissed with his primitive, naked and ferocious instinct.No rules, no care, licking obsessively like an animal, even if he is in pain.The two tongues were intertwined, Xu Qiaochuan’s eyes were shining, and he wanted to bite it off completely.

But he is not a real beast, and he still has some sense and a little bit of sobriety left.Xu Qiaochuan closed his eyes and a tear fell.He was loose for a moment, and Chen Zongqian keenly seized the opportunity. When Xu Qiaochuan was confused, he grabbed his waist with one hand, bent his legs and used his strength to suppress Xu Qiaochuan on the chair.

Xu Qiaochuan fell on his back, with a hand on the back of his head. The impact was not too painful.There was a buzzing sound in his ears, and his eyes gradually focused on one point. He subconsciously wanted to push the person away, but in a passive position, all his thoughts were seen through.Chen Zongqian casually touched a strap, hooked out a movable badge from under his seat, and wrapped it around Xu Qiaochuan’s wrists.

Having his hands tied brought back memories of Xu Qiaochuan’s school days. He was also tied, and every time he struggled, his wrist bones would be dislocated.He shook his hands. The rope was not long, but it was loose and could not be untied.

Seeing his anxiety, Chen Zongqian pressed his hand, and the two clasped together tightly.Chen Zongqian woke him up, “Xiaoqiao, look at me.”

Xu Qiaochuan made no sound when he cried, only tears kept flowing.Infected by it, Chen Zongqian’s heart also felt stinging.He leaned over and touched Xu Qiaochuan’s forehead: “I know, Xiaoqiao loves me very much, that’s why he is afraid.”

Touching a frightened soul, Chen Zongqian sighed softly: “Because I was afraid that I would be abandoned again, I abandoned me first. Because I was afraid of hurting me, I kept far away from me. But Xiaoqiao couldn’t bear to let me go. You love me.”

“I can’t let it go, and neither can my brother.” Chen Zongqian wiped away the blood on his lips and pressed a kiss on the trembling lips.

“Dad asked me how to solve your problem. I said there was no better way, and I didn’t want a worse result, because I love you too.”

That love is a heavier shackles, a taboo that the world does not mention. He knows that once he chooses to sink, he will be accomplices in this moral crime with Xu Qiaochuan.They couldn’t choose to separate like other lovers because they were in love. They would never lose the opportunity to abandon each other.

Chen Zongqian once thought that he could let him go after he got tired of playing with her, but later he realized that he had no choice at all: “My brother is just very selfish and doesn’t want to be separated from my dearest and most loved one, my special and only Xiaoqiao.”