Chew Slowly Chapter 74

Chapter 74 Chapter 74

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After the sixth treatment, Xu Qiaochuan’s adverse reactions were much more severe than before.Not only was he vomiting, but he was also accompanied by convulsions, involuntary twitching of his hands and feet, and violent sweating all over his body… Chen Zongqian kept holding him, but Xu Qiaochuan could not fully feel the comfort he gave him. His eyes were mostly confused and frightened.

The doctor prescribed some carbamazepine tablets, but he spit them out with water before he could swallow them.Xu Qiaochuan was startled by himself and woke up for a moment. He wiped Chen Zongqian’s wet shirt guiltily, forgetting that he was also in the same mess.

“It’s okay, Xiaoqiao.” Chen Zongqian held his wrist and burst into tears as soon as he spoke.That little bit of water fell rapidly and fiercely.No longer caring about the pills, Chen Zongqian hurriedly wiped his tears, “It’s okay, I don’t blame you.”

He was still trembling and couldn’t control his body shaking. He used this weird posture to step forward and hug the person.The emotions in Xu Qiaochuan’s eyes surged fiercely, but Chen Zongqian could only see a kind of shock.

What is that?Chen Zongqian was hugged without thinking about it.Almost out of instinct, he stretched out his hand to touch Xu Qiaochuan’s waist, then moved up the spine and touched the back of his heart.Being so intimate again, Chen Zongqian took back his hand stiffly and ordered himself to stop.

How to be a good brother?How to care about his younger brother correctly, Chen Simin asked him to think about this.Chen Zongqian took the person away from him, looked into those teary eyes and asked: “Where are you sad?”

Xu Qiaochuan shook his hand in vain, his fingers touching the air, not knowing what to grab.He kept shaking his head, feeling hysterical.

“I don’t want it anymore.” He choked and said, fearing that Chen Zongqian would think he was talking nonsense, so he tried to enunciate the words more clearly, “My head hurts so much, I won’t do it…”

Chen Zongqian’s mind does not need to undergo electrical stimulation, so he cannot experience firsthand what kind of pain it is.The doctor couldn’t do it either. He just repeated it officially, rationally and objectively: Those are adverse reactions that will occur after surgery, and they will recover after some time.

Time has no clear beginning and end, and I don’t know how long this pain will last.

“But he is indeed getting better.” The doctor called up Xu Qiaochuan’s test reports in the past two weeks to rule out any adverse reactions after surgery. His heart rate and blood pressure were maintained at normal frequencies. “If the pain is really unbearable, you can come over and get painkillers.”

Relying on painkillers and some psychological counseling that was not known to be effective, Xu Qiaochuan completed eight operations and completed the first course of treatment.The operation restarted his brain, which had been shut down due to overload, and refreshed his mind.He finally no longer trapped himself tightly, no longer confused, and no longer pushed himself to extremes.

Transformed back into the calm Xu Qiaochuan, he could interact with people calmly.

Most of the memories during the treatment were forgotten, and Xu Qiaochuan had no memory. When he went to the hospital for a follow-up visit, he was confused by the nurse’s jokes.Seeing that he was recovering well, a nurse sister pretended to be relieved and said that there was no need to prepare a new wristband this time.

Xu Qiaochuan didn’t know what a wristband was, and he didn’t remember having one.But they said that he had it and that it was specially prepared. They said that he would not enter the operating room without it.The wristband is actually not unusual. It has all the information it should have, but it just has an extra number written on it.

At this point, Xu Qiaochuan had some impression, not because of those things, but because the string of numbers appeared naturally in his mind, and he had never forgotten it.

Why this number?Few people know the reason, not even the owner of this number.

Eight rounds of electrotherapy had a great impact on Xu Qiaochuan’s memory, and he had forgotten many things in recent months.These forgettings are not simply erasing, but more like removing frames, deleting too many images, dryly and piecemeal playing in the mind, cutting off the beginning and ending, without cause or effect, and cannot be connected into a specific paragraph.

He was confused about his current situation and realized that he would be trapped in depression again, so he once again took the initiative to ask for help.Lilian was not surprised that Xu Qiaochuan found him again.

“Why have I forgotten so much but remembered some clearly?” Xu Qiaochuan thought painfully.

The string of numbers eventually evolved into a logic that clearly connected the things he wanted to forget.Xu Qiaochuan had no choice but to look at the truth pessimistically.He began to hate that he was sensitive to numbers, hated that the number had a unique rhythm, and hated that he could not forget it.

His ability to forget, which he had always been proud of, completely lost its effectiveness in front of this string of numbers.

“Not even hypnosis?” Xu Qiaochuan thought wildly.

Lilian couldn’t help but laugh: “The human brain is an organ of thinking, with the most complex mechanism. If it were really possible to manipulate the brain and add or delete memories at will, then we wouldn’t be talking here, and the world would have been in chaos.”

She knew what the forgotten superpower Xu Qiaochuan said was his habitual suppression and avoidance. Lilian said that those were not true forgetfulness, but that he had locked them in a box and could not find the switch.

Now the switch is in Xu Qiaochuan’s hand. If he touches it at will, the box can be opened.She said that there is a process of strengthening memory. If you think about it over and over again, not only will you not forget it, but you will remember it more deeply.Xu Qiaochuan used various memories and physical and mental pain to strengthen this suggestion.Lilian was silent for a while, and suddenly understood something: “Do you really want to forget?”

“In other words, this is different from the result you want.” There are many uncertainties in the amnesia caused by electrotherapy, and it cannot be carried out exactly as Xu Qiaochuan imagined.Too much forgetfulness caused him to disconnect some personnel connections. Xu Qiaochuan wanted to keep those connections, “You don’t want that result, and you don’t want the situation to get worse, so you start to remedy it.”

He should have realized it, but he forgot again.

Xu Qiaochuan’s cognitive bias is more complicated than she imagined.Lilian drew a horizontal line under the original idea and added a question mark at the end.He couldn’t communicate with people for too long. After a while, he began to feel exhausted and his attention gradually became scattered.At the end of the conversation, Lilian gave him a small notebook, which was an important step in his cognitive behavioral therapy.

“Forgetting too much is equivalent to losing part of your life. You almost don’t know what you want.” Lilian hoped that he could feel the present more clearly and re-establish his goals. “Before a new forgetfulness begins, are you willing to try to restructure your thinking?”

Xu Qiaochuan was afraid that he would forget what she said when he went out, so he wrote it down on the first page of his notebook.He went out carrying this thing and looked up to see Chen Zongqian.

He paused for a moment, then Chen Zongqian took the initiative to come over and handed him a dark blue scarf.Xu Qiaochuan hesitated and did not reach out to pick it up. He actually forgot that it was winter.

Chen Zongqian had no choice but to help him surround him again. Xu Qiaochuan lowered his head and allowed others to do anything.When a cashmere scarf is left in a person’s arms for a long time, it naturally takes on the person’s body temperature and a light woody fragrance.Xu Qiaochuan felt a little dizzy when he went out. Now that he was enveloped by this soft and gentle touch, he almost fell into it and was about to fall asleep.

He wanted to go up and hug that person, he wanted to hug that person, but he never made any move.He didn’t dare to hug her now because Chen Zongqian would avoid or push her away. Xu Qiaochuan didn’t want to accept any kind of abandonment or rejection.