An Yao’S Observation Diary Chapter 19
byMonday, June 30 Heavy rain
An Yao’s words suddenly exploded in my ears.
I gasped violently, my pupils contracted violently, and every inch of skin on my body screamed, eager to rub the omega in my arms into my bones, eager to eat the person in front of me, eager to—
Put into practice what he says.
Promise him, promise him!All the cells in his body were shouting crazily.He is inviting you, say yes!Do what you want!
I moved closer uncontrollably, so close that I could clearly feel An Yao’s warm breath slowly blowing on my face.
But Anyao didn’t avoid it.
He smiled softly at me, tilted his head slightly, raised his hand to push aside the soft long hair on the side of his neck, and took the initiative to bring his incomplete gland to my mouth.
I breathed heavily and couldn’t help but spray my hot breath on the side of Anyao’s neck. The surging instinct in my body almost broke through the last line of defense of my reason.I lowered my head, my chapped lips trembling constantly. I was only slightly distracted when my head was brought over by the other person’s slightly cold hands, and gently pressed against the soft and fragile skin.
“Qingyan,” An Yao smiled, holding my head and pressing it down encouragingly, “Bite it.”
“Make me something uniquely yours.” His voice was very soft, “Mark me.”
I know very well the condition of the glands on the back of An Yao’s neck.Although he no longer needs to continue taking medication, there is still a long way to go before he truly recovers.Now, not only can the fragile gland not be marked normally, but it may be made worse by a simple temporary mark.
But at this moment, my instinct is urging me to keep getting closer, and An Yao’s connivance puts the remaining sanity at risk.
I gasped a few times and opened my mouth.
I first covered the piece of skin, and then gently took the incomplete gland into my mouth. The tip of my teeth pressed against the soft flesh, and it only took a little force to pierce it.
But I still didn’t bite it.
The tips of the teeth gently ground An Yao’s neck with extreme restraint, leaving ambiguous red marks on the fair skin.I bit back and forth as if to vent my anger, causing Anyao to subconsciously tense up.
“Qing, Qingyan…” His light gray eyes suddenly filled with mist, “It’s so weird, so weird…”
An Yao was curled up in my arms, her slippers kicked off without knowing where she was, and her heels rubbed impatiently against my lower back.It seemed like it was his first time being exposed to this kind of excitement, and he was so panicked that he could only hold on to the clothes on my chest tightly.At this moment, his face was flushed and his eyes were filled with water. He wanted to call my name, but all he said was a sweet gasp.
“No, no…” He gasped a few times, then quickly gritted his teeth, and there were only a few soft groans left in the quiet bedroom.
I held this piece of soft meat back and forth, causing the person in my arms to melt into a pool of spring water, nestling softly in my arms. Then I released my lips and teeth and pulled out a few strands of silver threads.
I hugged the limp An Yao tightly, looked at the wet shallow teeth marks on the back of his neck for a long time, and slowly pressed my forehead against his shoulder.
“…That’s good.” I said hoarsely.
An Yao buried herself in the crook of my neck and breathed deeply.At this time, his legs and feet were weakened by what I just did. If he hadn’t been held in my arms, he might have slipped directly to the ground.But even so, An Yao subconsciously raised his slightly trembling hand and touched my head very lightly.
I didn’t say anything, I just took hold of his caressing hand, intertwined our fingers deeply, and then moved closer.
I started kissing him.
A dense kiss fell on An Yao’s beautiful light gray eyes, silently taking away the crystal tears in them.The unique smell of dust and Chinese herbal medicine from old books filled the dim room, mixed with the scent of magnolia flowers, lingering and strong enough to completely cover the smell of blood.
“Yaoyao, Anyao…” I called his name uneasily, “Yaoyao…”
“I’m here.” An Yao held my face, “I’m here.”
我們抱得很緊很緊，緊到能清晰感受到彼此骨骼的形狀和皮膚下急促的心跳，連身上的汗都黏膩地貼在一起。I held Anyao’s head, inserted my fingertips into the soft hair and rubbed it slowly. The door was not closed tightly, and a little warm light leaked in, shining directly on us.
Only then did I realize that I had soiled An Yao.
I subconsciously wanted to let go, but An Yao misunderstood me.He plunged into my arms, stretched out his arms to tightly wrap around my neck, and was inseparable from me again.
“Qingyan…” An Yao buried herself in the crook of my neck and rubbed it gently a few times, “Today, just today, okay?”
“How about…trying to rely on me?”
“Although I still don’t know many things, and you have to teach me everything slowly…” His voice was very soft, “But at least let me take care of you now.”
I looked at him, my Adam’s apple rolled, and all the words of rejection were blocked in my chest. In the end, I just trembled my lower lip and uttered one word very softly.
“…Okay.” I hugged him tightly, “Yaoyao, please.”
Over the next few days, I seemed to degenerate into some kind of animal that couldn’t live without body heat.No matter he stood up to pour water or walked to the window, his arms were always tightly wrapped around An Yao’s waist, almost holding him in his arms and moving around.I can’t tell whether this is the physiological dependence that has not faded during the susceptible period, or the unspeakable selfishness deep in my heart that is spreading wantonly.
As time went by, this situation became more and more intense, and I couldn’t even tolerate any separation between myself and An Yao.I began to take full charge of Anyao’s food, clothing, housing and transportation, and completely controlled Anyao by my side like a feudal authoritarian parent.
“Come on, Yaoyao.” I scooped up the porridge, cooled it and slowly brought it to my mouth, “Eat slowly.”
An Yao sat obediently in my arms. I had combed her long light gray hair into a neat braid, dotted with some daisies, and now she was docilely resting on my shoulders.
He moved closer and took bite after bite.
“Qingyan, don’t you want to eat?” he asked.
“I’ll eat it later.” I took out the paper and carefully wiped away the traces on the corners of An Yao’s mouth, and suddenly smiled and rolled my eyes, “Yao Yao is so good.”
I may have been sick, but as a doctor, I had no way of doing anything. I could only let this pathological desire for control spread unchecked in my body until it completely engulfed me.
It’s funny how I feel reassured by this.
“Yaoyao, I’m sorry.” I said softly, “I have wronged you these past few days.”
That’s what I said, but my arms hugged An Yao tightly as if they had their own consciousness, as if they were worried that someone would suddenly snatch him away.
安遙笑了笑，貼着我的臉很輕地蹭了蹭，發絲毛絨絨地抵在我的鼻尖，帶着暖洋洋的癢意。
“I wish I could help you,” he said with a smile, “I’m very happy.”
An Yao always accepts all my actions that cross the boundary and condones any of my actions.Even if I stubbornly buttoned every button for him, even if I insisted on feeding him food with my own hands, even if I insisted on helping him wash his face…he didn’t complain at all, he just raised his eyes and looked at me tenderly, and tolerated all my insecurities.
“Qingyan,” An Yao gently kissed me on my forehead, “I’m here.”
“You said that we will become family after we get married.” He said, “Families will never leave each other behind.”
I hugged him tightly, a sob rolling out of my throat.
Today we were lazily nestled on the sofa together, with a nature documentary playing on the TV in front of us. The very low sound became blurry white noise in the background, and the sound of the rustling wind outside the window filled the living room.We hugged each other and chatted with each other. The topics were random, but our fingers were always tightly intertwined.
The wind outside the window seemed to be louder, and the sky was getting darker. After a while, it began to rain lightly, then became heavier, knocking on the glass, leaving a series of noises.
“It’s raining,” I said.
An Yao looked around curiously, “No wonder it was so hot the past few days. It turned out to be a heavy rain.”
I rubbed his head and said, “After all, it’s June, so rain is normal.”
He picked up his phone and looked at the time on it, “Today is the 30th, and June is coming to an end.”
“Yeah, it’s over.” I replied.
June has passed and midsummer has arrived, and those sultry days with pain and uneasiness will eventually be washed away like this sudden rainstorm, leaving only the fresh blue sky.
Everything will pass.