An Yao’S Observation Diary Chapter 17

Sultry Wednesday, June 25

An Yao and I got closer.

If it was limited to simple hugs before, now the distance between them is getting closer.We were often next to each other unconsciously. An Yao sat naturally in my arms, and I casually put him on my lap. He was so sticky that other people looked embarrassed, but when they saw the overly calm expressions on our faces, they were speechless for a moment. They touched their noses and swallowed the unspoken jokes.

We are unaware of this.

It wasn’t until one night when we were lying on the bed hugging each other and chatting about what happened that day by chance that we later realized what the complicated emotions in that person’s eyes meant, and we instantly blushed face to face.

But even so, we still kept too close to each other, and our fingers were sticky and tightly intertwined.

——Even if the distance is close enough to count each other’s eyelashes, if you turn your head slightly, you can bump into each other’s lips.

But no one raised any objection to this, so it continued like this in a daze for a while, until I felt my forehead feel a little hot.

Why do you feel like your time has been so chaotic?I was thinking wildly.Picking people up, making trouble, combining fever…and now adding another fever.Even if life is dull and boring, it wouldn’t be so fun, right?

While I was thinking about it, I took some cold medicine for myself.But after drinking it, the fever not only did not subside, but spread all the way from my forehead, making me feel a little dazed.I raised my eyes, but my eyes were inexplicably stuck on An Yao’s back, following the movement of that slender figure.

He was currently wiping the dust on the cabinet, and the long hair on the back of his neck slid down slightly with the movement, revealing a small section of the white back of his neck.

But my eyes seemed to be held by something, and I couldn’t move them away or take them back.It seemed that something quietly woke up under the blood, burning silently.

Perhaps my gaze was too obvious, so An Yao quickly put down the things in his hands and walked closer quickly.

“Qingyan?” he asked, “your face is so red. Are you sick?”

“It seems like I have a fever,” I said. “I drank some granules, but I don’t know if they will help.”

“Is that so?” He frowned, his face full of worry, “If it doesn’t heal after a while, we’d better go to the hospital to check it out.”

After saying that, An Yao came closer, put his forehead to mine without any explanation, and tried his best to check the temperature.

I was caught off guard and ran into An Yao’s eyes.In just this brief moment, a strange feeling surged up without warning.I suddenly felt my throat tightening, and there was an unfamiliar itching sensation at the base of my tiger teeth.

This isn’t right.

How do I look like a sick patient?Clearly like an extremely hungry——

My eyes widened suddenly.

——It is the susceptible period.

These days were so comfortable that I completely relaxed and devoted myself to An Yao, completely forgetting about my own menstrual cycle.

“Yaoyao,” I reluctantly moved back a little, “there are dishes in the refrigerator. You can heat them up and eat them when you get hungry later. If you want to go out to eat, there is money in the drawer under the TV, just take it.”

“Qingyan?” An Yao looked at me blankly, “Are you going somewhere?”

There seemed to be something stuck in my throat, and the explanation suddenly became difficult to say, but now the hidden restlessness in my body became more and more clear, like undercurrents beating on the edge of reason.

“I…” I said hoarsely, “I have reached my susceptible period.”

I wanted to say something else, but the heat that suddenly rose in my body rushed straight to my brain, with a faint tendency to go downwards.I was worried that An Yao would be hurt if I lingered any longer, so I stood up in a hurry and stumbled towards the bedroom.

“Don’t, don’t come in!” I used my remaining sense to squeeze out a warning from between my teeth, “No matter what happens… don’t come in!”

After saying that, I didn’t dare to look at the expression on An Yao’s face, so I ran into the bedroom and slammed the door.

The room suddenly fell into deathly silence, the only sound left was my own heavy breathing.

The moment the door closed, it was like a hidden switch in my body was turned on.The susceptibility period was like a long-dormant beast, suddenly erupting in my body, carrying scalding heat and overwhelming every inch of consciousness.My consciousness was floating up and down, and everything I looked at seemed to be covered with a layer of scarlet fog.At this moment, the heartbeat was beating violently against the eardrums, the blood was screaming in the blood vessels, and there was not much reason left, only instincts were swirling crazily in his mind.

Mark him, mark him.That’s an omega, mark him.

Possess him fiercely and let him be completely infected with my scent.

He can only be mine.

Disjointed thoughts kept clamoring in my brain, tearing at the last bit of my sanity.I clenched my fists and slapped myself with all my strength.

“An Yao is still outside…” I murmured, “I can’t… I can’t…”

“He has suffered too much, I can’t…” I bit my wrist, “I can’t, I can’t…”

I promised to protect him.

The burning on my face and the severe pain on my wrists brought me back to my senses, but before I could take a breath, the heat came back again, overwhelming me.

This vulnerable period came too fiercely and too quickly. It was completely different from the past. It was so fast that I didn’t even have time to find a rope to tie myself up.

I couldn’t help but fell to my knees on the ground, frantically suppressing the desire to break out of my body.

“Can’t…can’t go out…” I pressed against the door panel, a broken breath escaping from my throat, “I can’t…”

“Lin Qingyan, you promised An Yao…” I pulled my hair, “You promised him, are you going to break your promise?”

Reason and instinct collapsed and intertwined, tearing my consciousness into several strands, then crushing it again and then returning it to human form, and the cycle repeated.

There must be a way, there must be a way.I told myself.There must be a way for me to suppress this disgusting desire.

I forced myself to stand up, but before I could take a step, I fell to the ground again, making a muffled sound of toothache.Ignoring the stinging pain all over my body, I continued to get up despite the scratches on my palms, and staggered towards the bedside table.

In the bottom drawer, there is a knife.

As a doctor, I know exactly how to cut so as to cause enough pain without causing excessive damage.

I picked up the knife, slid to the floor against the cabinet, and put the tip of the knife against the inside of my forearm.The moment it was pressed against the skin, the coldness unique to metal penetrated slightly, temporarily suppressing the burning underneath, but it came back again after a while.

I took a deep breath and drew my wrist steadily.

I saw a thin red line quickly appearing, and then there was a sharp and clear pain.The pain briefly opened my chaotic mind, giving me a rare few seconds of clarity.It’s a pity that it didn’t last for a few seconds, and the heat rose again. It was even stronger than last time, and it quickly covered up this insignificant pain.

“Not enough…” I murmured, “It’s still not enough…”

I put down the knife and stood up slowly facing the wall.

That’s all.I smiled to myself.How disgusting.

I clenched my fists and smashed them against the wall the next second.

The joints collided with the hard cement without any structure, making constant dull sounds.The skin and flesh soon burst open, and blood mixed with hot gasps filled the closed bedroom, accompanied by pain that hit the nearly broken nerves over and over again.

Why still doesn’t work?Why can’t I suppress it?Could it be—am I essentially such a disgusting monster?

I don’t want to believe this fact.

I stopped smashing the wall and scratched my other arm with my nails, constantly adding new wounds to the old ones.Reason whizzes away along with instinct, and the ugly thoughts raging in his heart are rampant.I can no longer remember whether I was cutting my hand or hitting the wall. There seemed to be warm liquid left on my forehead, but I couldn’t tell whether it was tears or blood.

I have lost count of how many times I have spent this kind of day.The embarrassment was repeated again and again, and fate regarded me as a ridiculous trapped animal struggling in a cage.

How familiar, how funny.

The sky outside gradually darkened, and the night swallowed the bedroom.At this moment, I clearly felt that the senses in my body were infinitely amplified – the pumping of the heart, the flow of blood, the heavy breathing… The pheromones were intertwined with the increasingly thick blood floating back and forth in the room, crushing the already fragile nerves in my brain.

“Click.”

Suddenly there was a soft sound from the door lock.

Before I could react, the door next to me suddenly made a creaking sound, and a ray of light suddenly shone into the room.

Anyao stood at the door and looked at me quietly.

He seemed to have brought the warm light from all over the world, quickly dispelling most of the darkness in the bedroom.Perhaps it was against the light, but the outline of his figure was coated with a layer of plush warm edges, which was so bright that I almost couldn’t open my eyes.

I stared at him blankly, and at this moment, the cold blood in my body seemed to start flowing again.I seemed to have looked up and caught a glimpse of the only god, whose face I couldn’t see clearly, but whose whole body was filled with love. He stretched out his hand to pull me, a struggling sinner, out of this endless abyss.

A shuddering feeling mixed with intense longing and humble thankfulness instantly gripped me, but this illusory redemption only lasted for a second, and reason quickly returned, flooding my mind with overwhelming panic.

“Yaoyao, close the door——!” I heard my voice suddenly rise in pitch, with a funny crack at the end, “Quick!”

An Yao didn’t move, still standing where he was.The faint fragrance of magnolia flowers that was unique to him floated in at this moment, lingering and intertwined with the pheromones that kept emerging from my body, as if he was being kissed one after another.

I held my breath and backed away in panic.Sweat seemed to have broken out again, and my forehead hair was messy and stuck to my face. My glasses were lost and I don’t know where they were. The temperature in the air was rising, and everything was foggy.

I almost couldn’t see An Yao’s face clearly.

My consciousness seemed to be immersed in warm water, rising and falling. I seemed to be unable to remember anything, and only instinct was left stirring in my brain.

Grab the omega in front of you.Mark him hard and make this person yours completely.

“Can’t…can’t…” I whispered breathlessly, “I can’t…”

Why not?Instinct screamed.He was originally the person you picked up. Without you, he would have died long ago.

He belongs only to you.

He is yours.

Just do whatever you want, he can’t escape it.He is just an omega, what can he do?He is already married to you and legally belongs to you. Even if you tear him apart, he cannot escape.

Lin Qingyan, you are this kind of person.So do it quickly, so that he can never escape from you, so that he can never set his sights on other people. He is only yours, he can only be yours, and no one can take it away——

I bit the tip of my tongue hard.

“Quickly…” I gritted my teeth and said, “Yaoyao… Anyao! Let’s go…”