Chew Slowly Chapter 11

The photo album was heavy, filled with fragments of time spanning ten or twenty years, offering a glimpse into someone else’s past. This was private material, and only after receiving Xu Qiaochuan’s consent could Chen Zongqian finally see this remarkable item with his own eyes.

The first, oldest picture was of Xu Qiaochuan when he was first born.

Ignoring composition and lighting, and with poor resolution, the photo showed a wrinkled baby whose eyes hadn’t even opened yet. Xu Qiaochuan looked at the photo without emotion; he had no memory of any of this.

Thinking about how that newborn would live his life, his misfortune seemed predetermined from birth.

Chen Zongqian was unaware of Xu Qiaochuan’s deep aversion, his own mind focused entirely on the photographs. Before Xu Qiaochuan turned five, the photos frequently featured Lu Xiaoyun and Xu Jian. Back then, Xu Jian was not the man he is now, and they both clearly adored the child.

Two pages in the album were left blank, with pencil annotations marking two years at the bottom of the pages. Chen Zongqian knew this represented Xu Qiaochuan’s fifth and sixth years.

“Where are the photos from this time?” Chen Zongqian asked.

Xu Qiaochuan, clutching his cold fingers, looked at the blank page with some nervousness. He only snapped back to attention when the man called his name again. Photos from ages five and six? He thought for a moment and said, “I was sick.”

Lu Xiaoyun had told him that the acute illness was terrifying, and he had nearly died from it. The sickness cost the family a lot of money, which was why Xu Jian harbored such resentment toward him.

Chen Zongqian nodded. After turning past the blank pages, Xu Qiaochuan was seven years old.

His finger paused, and Chen Zongqian suddenly turned his head to glance at Xu Qiaochuan, making the latter feel uneasy. Chen Zongqian pointed at the child in the photo and asked, “This is you, right?”

“Yes,” Xu Qiaochuan replied.

The child in the photo looked wronged, with tears welling up in his eyes—eyes as round as a fawn’s. Compared to the previous pages, his cheeks were rounder and more childlike, and his features possessed a delicate beauty that even the blurry resolution couldn’t hide. He was a child carved from pink jade. Chen Zongqian thought, this is clearly Xiao Ran; a face he could never forget.

Chen Zongqian flipped further. “Xu Qiaochuan” had changed names and appearances in his eyes; “Xiao Ran” abruptly appeared beside Lu Xiaoyun. He looked unhappy. As he grew older, his smiles became fewer and fewer, until he eventually became the person he was today—Xu Qiaochuan.

The most recent photo was almost identical to the current Xu Qiaochuan. Chen Zongqian looked at the picture, unsure which name to use when speaking. He fell silent, but a surging tide of emotion rose within him, refusing to subside for a moment.

Xu Qiaochuan watched him stare blankly for a while, then quickly flip back to the photo taken when he was seven. Xu Qiaochuan asked, “Do I really look like your younger brother?”

Chen Zongqian nodded in affirmation. Xu Qiaochuan thought, so it is true. This is why he came looking for me. Just because I look similar, I can receive a little care, a little kindness from this good person.

A strange emotion arose in his heart, a mix of jealousy and shame. These twisted feelings made him maliciously want to blurt out the word “Brother,” to wickedly deceive this man, and then he could gain even more.

Yet, he was soberly aware that nothing would last. Chen Zongqian would leave soon. Their paths were not aligned; they were fundamentally unrelated.

“Then I’m not him either,” Xu Qiaochuan said as he watched the album close. Then, a hand ruffled his hair.

Chen Zongqian didn’t respond. He handed the album back and said, “Keep it safe. It’s unique, after all, and very precious.”

All of Lu Xiaoyun’s belongings had been piled into one room. Xu Qiaochuan went back and dug out the promissory note and a stack of IOUs. Knowing that these items served as evidence for the division of the estate, he became hesitant.

“What’s wrong?” Chen Zongqian noticed his distress, remaining patient.

“I don’t want her money,” Xu Qiaochuan said. He had a job now, working as a general CNC machine operator at a hardware mold factory. He started as an apprentice, and once his probation ended, he would become a full-time employee, and his wages would be much better. He had long since blocked Xu Jian’s number, so that man couldn’t find him. Xu Qiaochuan would live in the factory dormitory and, no matter what, he wouldn’t starve. His life would be better than it was now.

If Lu Xiaoyun hadn’t died, he probably wouldn’t have contacted her either. Xu Qiaochuan wanted to completely disappear from their world and rely on himself from now on.

Chen Zongqian’s heart had been fluctuating ever since he saw that photo, but there were still three parts he couldn’t confirm. Considering Xu Qiaochuan’s mental state and his aversion to his current family, Chen Zongqian decided to temporarily suppress the matter of recognition until the results were certain.

This family’s affairs were a complete mess. Chen Zongqian wanted to know why Xu Qiaochuan had become this way. He voiced the doubt in his heart: “Did Lu Xiaoyun treat you badly too?”

Xu Jian’s cruelty was obvious, but Lu Xiaoyun truly had a sincere heart. The woman had left everything she owned to Xu Qiaochuan, though the latter didn’t appreciate it.

Xu Qiaochuan shook his head, then nodded, his expression dazed. The distinction between good and bad left him confused. Compared to Xu Jian, Lu Xiaoyun was undoubtedly good to him, but his suffering was also real. Xu Qiaochuan suddenly felt nauseous. He only calmed down after being called several times, looking down to see Chen Zongqian releasing his hand.

“Lawyer Chen, I don’t want to talk about her, okay?” Xu Qiaochuan’s face was covered in cold sweat. He wiped it away, but couldn’t clean it completely. Seeing him like this, Chen Zongqian wisely refrained from asking further questions.

He had been staying in his hometown for several days. Lu Xiaoyun’s funeral was simple; Xu Qiaochuan couldn’t arrange a proper wake by himself, so he simply skipped it. The matters were essentially concluded today, and Xu Qiaochuan wouldn’t stay any longer. He planned to take a ride out tonight and arrive at the factory in the morning for work. The plan was perfect, except he hadn’t anticipated Chen Zongqian’s appearance.

When burning paper money for Lu Xiaoyun, he felt no sense of longing. Xu Qiaochuan used to follow Lu Xiaoyun to worship the gods. The woman would clasp her hands in prayer, asking for peace, wealth, health, and smooth sailing. But Lu Xiaoyun never received these things, so Xu Qiaochuan didn’t believe in any divine blessings or ancestral protection in the world.

He watched the paper money turn to ash, hearing Lu Xiaoyun’s voice in his ear, asking how he could expect protection if his heart wasn’t sincere? Only by thinking sincerely and bowing sincerely would the ancestors and gods hear his wishes.

What wish did he have? Xu Qiaochuan thought idly. He made the most absurd and impossible wish: If the ancestors and immortals truly had power, could they make Chen Zongqian appear again?

As if a deity had truly listened to his wish, Xu Qiaochuan himself hadn’t expected the man to suddenly show up. He was startled. His first reaction was, why is he here? His second reaction was to never speak carelessly again.

The ride, which was supposed to be a motorcycle ride with an uncle from the same village, turned into a ride in Chen Zongqian’s black Audi. Xu Qiaochuan sat in the passenger seat, spacing out, and caught a glimpse of the man suddenly leaning over.

“Why aren’t you wearing your seatbelt?” Chen Zongqian pulled the strap over and securely fastened it around Xu Qiaochuan. “You remembered to do it when you were nervous in my car the first time.”

This was the second time Xu Qiaochuan had been in his car. Compared to the anxiety of the first time, he was much calmer now. Although it was just a joke, it made Xu Qiaochuan’s heart tighten, and his fingers repeatedly rubbed against the seatbelt.

The car started. The in-car music was a soothing, low-pitched English song. Xu Qiaochuan didn’t understand it but didn’t find it annoying. Instead, in this atmosphere, he gradually relaxed and felt somewhat drowsy.

Chen Zongqian drove steadily; even on the winding, hilly country roads, the ride wasn’t too bumpy. Xu Qiaochuan leaned against the window. The natural vibration of the car prevented him from completely closing his eyes; he didn’t want to fall asleep.

His mind was heavy, and the suppressed feelings were quietly being pulled open at a seam. Xu Qiaochuan said, “If my dad hadn’t gone to the Law Firm to cause trouble, and my mom’s issues were all resolved…”

Perhaps it was due to drowsiness, or perhaps he didn’t dare to truly ask the question. Xu Qiaochuan’s voice was slow and muffled, blending with the sound of the car driving and the in-car music. He thought Chen Zongqian probably couldn’t hear him, and it was better if he didn’t.

“If only I could be your little brother…”

He hadn’t fully fallen asleep yet, but the dream had already begun. He vaguely heard Chen Zongqian respond, “Okay.”